


Touch of the Sun

by Notorious_PAT



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Azula (Avatar) Redemption, Bisexual Ty Lee (Avatar), Canon Compliant, Coming of Age, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), Minor Mai/Zuko, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 90,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28048113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notorious_PAT/pseuds/Notorious_PAT
Summary: “How do you make a monster? Well, it starts as any story does. With a little boy or a little girl. They’re happy. They have friends. They have people they care about. They have people that they love. But you don’t make a monster by adding things to them, like a troubled childhood, or a negligent mother, or a tyrant father. No. You make a monster by taking things away from them. You take away their freedom to fail. You take away their freedom to love whomever they want.”Crown Princess Azula of the Fire Nation was not always a monster. But from an early age she is made to be one, until she only sees herself as such. The last tether to her humanity is a little girl with grey-brown eyes. The only person who really sees her [Tyzula. Canon-divergence (but not much). A look at their trips across Books 2 and 3 and how different things could’ve been with just a few small twists of the knife].
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Comments: 337
Kudos: 375





	1. Say It Back

A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

* * *

**Say It Back**

Fire is an event. A mixture of vapors and oxygen combusting into a flame. It is not a thing or a state of being. It occurs in spurts of time and then fades. Yet, even as it fades, it is still there. The potential for fire is still there. The ability is still there. It may be hard, even impossible to see, but it is still there. As long as there is oxygen, then fire can exist.

A tiny blue flame dances in the hand of a little girl. She smiles and marvels at it. It lightly crackles and skips about in her right palm. With a mental command, it rages bright. The next moment it fades, almost to nothing. She thinks about how, as it smolders and shrinks, it still burns. Even as it begins to disappear, she still feels it. Coursing through her veins, she still feels it. In her heart, it slowly burns. Waiting to be brought back to life.

"Azula," her mother calls her attention from across the garden. "Your friends are here."

The nine-year old girl with jet black hair looks up and shouts back, "I am coming, Mother."

She runs in a full sprint, almost skipping, towards the gate. Young Azula is happy and excited. Her friends from the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, Mai and Ty Lee, have come to spend the afternoon with her. She likes to play and spend time with them. They're the only friends she has made at the school, but Azula doesn't think about that. She doesn't think about how she intimidates her other classmates. That level of self-awareness or self-consciousness have not developed yet. For now, Azula is just a happy little girl, who can't wait to play with her friends.

She arrives at the entryway where her mother stands with two young girls waiting for her. One looks uneasy while the other stares down at the ground. Mai stares with apprehension at Azula as she approaches. Azula observes the top of the other's head as she comes to a stop in front of her. The brunette hair cascades down her right shoulder, her hands at her side, grasping her dress around the waist. She grips it like her life depends on it.

"Ty Lee?"

She lifts her head. Azula looks at her in the early afternoon light. The streaks down her cheeks, the redness of her eyes. The way the remnants of recent tears smudge her face. A little girl, hurting, and in need of a friend. In need of Azula.

"What's wrong, Ty Lee? Why are you sad?"

"Oh, n-nothing. I'm not sad," she fibs, averting her eyes.

Mai stands to her side and stares, unsure of what to say. Azula wants to do something but doesn't appreciate the way Ty Lee is brushing it off. She commands her, "Would you lie to your friend?"

Ty Lee looks back at Azula. Panicked, she replies, "Of course not!"

"Then speak. Why are you sad?"

Ursa is put-off by this exchange. She scolds her, "Azula, leave her alone."

Ursa knew that the young girl's mother wasn't sure if she even should come here today. There had been trouble at home, but Ty Lee had wanted to come. Now Ursa was unsure if that was wise.

Meanwhile, Azula pouts at her mother. She turns her attention back to her friend. She looks down at the hand still clasping the dress with an iron-like vice. She reaches for it and yanks it away from the dress. Ty Lee looks down at the hand holding hers.

"Well, don't be sad, Ty Lee! You're here now! C'mon, Mai!"

Azula turns and rushes off. She tugs Ty Lee's hand and pulls the young girl towards the garden to play in the warm summer sun.

"Hold up, wait for me!" Mai exclaims and follows.

Ty Lee runs to keep up with Azula as they rush into the beauty of the Royal Garden. Azula continues to pull her forward, refusing to let go. Ty Lee feels that just the touch of Azula's hand has set her ablaze with joy. She gleefully yelps into the wind as they run around, with Mai close behind.

Ursa watches this all unfold from a distance. Part of her wonders what is wrong with that girl, to be so crass and confrontational towards her friends. The other half though is proud. Her daughter has made friends and bonds and she cares about them enough to want to wisk their pain away.

Ursa briefly daydreams about a distant future. One where Zuko ascends to the throne, and Azula, a doting sister, becomes an excellent advisor to the Fire Lord. It is the best of all outcomes for Azula in society today.

It is a lovely wish, but one filled with many pitfalls. Not the least of all though is Ursa's growing suspicion about Azula. The girl had been gifted with magnificent firebending skills at birth. They are already calling her a prodigy. That is not what concerned Ursa. Rather, it is that her daughter is… _different…_ in other ways. Zuko had been born different too, in so much that he was much gentler than Ozai.

_'Thank Agni for that.'_

While Azula impresses her father and Masters and teachers, none of them see her the way Ursa sees her. Ursa is with Azula and Zuko more than anyone else. Not Ozai, not the sworn Imperial Firebenders, not even the palace servants are with them more than Ursa. That much time and exposure has given her insight into her daughter that no one else is aware of, likely not even Azula herself.

This is troubling for Ursa. She wants to talk with Azula, and connect with her. Explain to her the way of the world so that she is equipped to deal with it. It comes from a place of deep seeded love and compassion. If she is correct, and Azula was born different from other little girls, then Azula needed to know her place in society, so she could hide it and protect it from those who would seek to destroy her for it.

_'The way she interacts with those girls. The way she scares off any and every little boy. It's just… different.'_

Ursa formulates a plan. She slides the puzzle pieces together in her mind. She practices the conversation in her head. Today is the day she protects her daughter from the monsters.

* * *

The endless summer afternoon melts away. As they spend the day together, Ty Lee forgets all about the mean things her sister said to her that morning. She forgets those things, and instead she remembers Azula doing whatever she can to make her tears go away. Azula of the Fire Nation burns the pain away with her games, and jokes, and tricks, and pranks.

As she runs away from the girls for one of their games, the normally fleet footed young acrobat trips over her own feet. She goes crashing to the ground and slides for a moment to the base of a bush. When she opens her eyes she catches sight of something. Ty Lee gets on her hands and knees and crawls closer to look at it. Within the shade of the bush she sees a single cream-white flower sticking out. Ty Lee stares at the moon flower, and is pleased by it. She has only seen a handful in her life, and never one growing out of the earth, only ever in vases or cut and in bushels. She reaches out and picks it from the ground to bring it closer.

_'Azula will love this!'_

"Ty Lee," Azula's mother calls out loudly. "Your mother has come to collect you for supper!"

_'Already? But I don't want to leave yet.'_

A voice much closer than the previous one says to her, "Ty Lee, stop messing around in the bushes. It's undignified."

The small girl shoots up and turns to face her host, whining, "Hey!"

Briefly exposed to the sunlight, the flower wilts. Azula notes an odd object in her hand and asks, "What's that?"

"I picked it for you!"

Ty Lee extends the cream colored flower to the black haired girl. Azula's eyes are drawn down to the cream flower in Ty Lee's hand. The sun is at Azula's back, so it now casts her shadow across the both of them. The shadow provides the necessary shade for the flower to bloom fully. That is the science of what happens, but what Azula sees when she looks down is a pretty flower springing to life in the hand of her best friend.

Ty Lee looks up at Azula. The sky is a mixture of orange, pink, and gold. The clouds are a picturesque violet, billowing perfectly without blocking the view. The setting sun, in all of its summer glory, floats just over the horizon. It's a saturated brightness, so it doesn't burn her eyes but she can't look directly at it either. Instead she looks at the slightly bowed face of the girl in front of her. All about Azula's frame is gold and black.

Azula looks up at Ty Lee. Blanketed by the looming shadows, the brunette is sanctuary in a world otherwise on fire. The lone exception to a world covered in the same pale golden light. The light all around is pretty, but it is within the shade that Azula's eyes track. To the cream colored flower, blooming to life. Up and up until golden eyes meet the luminous grey-brown eyes that await her.

They stare at one another a moment. Azula, surrounded by sunlight. Ty Lee, rare and glimmering in the dark. Unconsciously they both smile at one another. Neither quite realizes it, but this moment is being burned into their memory. Stamped down as something they may never forget, even if they tried.

Azula reaches for the flower. Her fingertips graze Ty Lee's palm as she takes it from her. Uneasily her eyes return to the safe harbor of those grey-brown ones. They welcome her warmly and an even wider smile spreads across Ty Lee's face. Azula returns the smile.

She asks, "So what is it?"

"It's a moon flower! They bloom in the shade, and wilt in the sun. They're the prettiest flowers in the whole world."

Azula lifts it up. Her friend proves to be correct. When she exposes it to a bit of sunlight, the flower recedes and shrinks. As she pulls it back into the shade, it grows and sprouts.

Ty Lee is thankful for her friend. The one who rescued her from her bad day. Who made her laugh and smile and made her happy. Feeling these strong emotions course through her, Ty Lee launches herself at her friend. She envelopes Azula in a big hug. Azula is caught off guard. After a moment she tentatively returns the affection. They hold each other for a second before Ty Lee squeals.

"I love you, Azula!"

Ty Lee pulls back from the hug. Azula feels something soft brush against her face. Light as a feather. Almost like it was nothing at all. Nothing but sunlight. The very touch of the sun itself, dancing across her cheek right where Ty Lee had just pecked her.

As the brunette steps back from her friend, the realization of what was said and what has happened spread across Azula. It starts on those same cheeks, as they grow as red as the clothes she wears. It spreads quickly to the rest of her body. Embarrassment and shyness overcome a girl who has little experience feeling either emotion. Her heart skips. For perhaps the first time in her life, butterflies float in her stomach. She opens her mouth to say it back.

"I -"

"Ty Lee! Your mother is _waiting_!"

Both girls turn to face Ursa and Ty Lee's mother, whose patience has worn out. Quickly, without another word, Ty Lee steps out of the shade and into the direction of home. She runs off, but as she goes she turns back to Azula. Still standing there, speechless, in the garden. She takes one last look at those golden eyes. She waves goodbye and shouts.

"Bye 'Zula! See you later!"

Azula absentmindedly waves back as her friend disappears into the summer air. She turns to find Mai, but her mind follows the brunette who has departed.

* * *

Some time later, after Mai had finally gone home, Azula winds her way through the Royal Garden. She is lost in a daydream, staring down at a cream colored flower in her hand. She clutches it tightly. She spins around flashing sunlight on the flower and then retracting it into the shade. She likes how it rises and falls with the light. Azula's friends make her _so_ happy. She can not wait for them to come back again so they can all play together some more.

 _'Next time Ty Lee won't be so sad, so I won't have to be_ as _nice to her… but maybe I will be anyway.'_

A short distance away, Ursa stands and observes Azula dancing about with a flower in her hand. She had watched the entire afternoon unfold, which only added fuel to the fire. She has been carefully and meticulously plotting this conversation with her daughter. It will be hard, but it is necessary. She sits down on a bench.

"Azula," she waits for her daughter to look up at her. "Come sit with me a moment."

As Azula sits down she huffs, "What is it, Mother? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, nothing wrong, Azula," she assures her. "I just wanted to ask if you had a good day with your friends?"

"Oh," she says, surprised. "Well, yes. Yes, it was the best day ever!"

Ursa smiles down at her daughter. Azula has seen her mother sit with Zuko like this, time and time again. For the life of her, she doesn't remember once sitting with her before now. She feels a tinge of kinship budding.

"And what is that you have there?"

Azula shows her gift off and proudly explains, "It's a Moon Flower! If you hold it in the shade it grows. But if you expose it to the sun, it dies."

Ursa was familiar with such flowers and knew they were one to grow in the Royal Garden. Still, she listens intently to the explanation offered by her daughter. She enjoys the excitement in her voice.

"Well isn't that something? How curious. Tell me, Azula, do you like Mai and Ty Lee?"

With a roll of her eyes Azula replies, "Of course, Mother. They're my friends!"

Ursa smiles knowingly, then presses on. "Yes, they are. They're very nice, aren't they?"

Azula looks away from her mother and down at the flower again. She tilts her head playfully and replies, "I suppose so."

Ursa places a hand lightly on the shoulder of her daughter. She gives a little squeeze and asks, "And they are _very_ pretty, aren't they?"

Azula bows her head a little further now. Away from her mother's eyes as they bore into the black of her hair. She hides the blush singeing her cheeks. She thinks about the girls who have just left. How they were so fun to look at. How she enjoyed being around them all the time and just wanted to be around them more. She weakly spurts out, "Y-yeah they are."

Ursa nods her head. She recognizes how slowly that answer came out. She removes her hand and pivots, "Say, where did you get that Moon Flower exactly?"

Azula raises her head a little. Confidence and excitement surge back to her. She replies, "Ty Lee gave it to me!"

Ursa smiles widely, "She is just the nicest, isn't she?"

Azula looks up to her Mother at this and shares the wide smile, "Yes! She is!"

"Do you love her?"

Azula blinks and stares up at her mother, not breaking eye contact. Her mouth hangs open but no words rise to her throat. Ursa gives her a second to compose herself. She doesn't answer so Ursa pushes on.

"Well, Azula?"

Her tone is comforting. It is encouraging. Yet Azula feels anything but comfort or encouragement. She looks away, her face growing crimson once more. She becomes flustered by the difficult questions her mother is asking her.

"I-I don't know!"

Ursa's expression turns to a sad smile. A knowing smile. She knows what must come next. She reassures her daughter, "That's okay. Maybe you do know the answer to this question: What do you know about Fire Lord Sozin?"

Azula scoffs. Such a basic question, her mother already knows the answer. She recites from memory, just the same as she recites the Fire Nation Oath each morning at school.

"Fire Lord Sozin started the war. He spent his early years secretly preparing for it. He was as patient as he was clever. He famously waited for the comet, later renamed Sozin's Comet, and used its power to launch his full-scale invasion of the world. In the end, he died peacefully, in his sleep."

Azula has answered fully, but doubt creeps in. Not about her answer, but about _why_ she is being asked.

Ursa nods along with the textbook reply. She looks down with care at her daughter. She has prepared for this moment. She can not go back now. "That is all _very_ true, Azula. Very good. Now, tell me, did you also know that Fire Lord Sozin decreed nearly 100 years ago that same-sex relationships are illegal?"

Confusion rises within. The little girl asks, "What does that mean? 'Same-sex?'"

They lock eyes once more. A subtle innocence shimmers in Azula's eyes. Ursa plunges forward nonetheless, "It means that little girls are only allowed to like little boys. It is a crime in the Fire Nation for little girls to like _other_ little girls." She pauses to let this sink in. "Do you understand, Azula? Fire Lord Azulon has not shown mercy on these matters in the past, and your Father has been especially harsh when given the chance."

Azula did not know what she felt for her friends. She did not realize it yet. But what she does know, now, is that affection for them is wrong and a crime and would bring great dishonor upon her family. Loving them would bring dishonor to the entire Fire Nation.

Ursa purses her lips as her daughter looks away, shaken. Ursa is simply attempting to teach her daughter a crucial lesson. Not to shame her for who she is, but to explain to her the way of the world that they live in. She wants Azula to be happy, but if Ursa is right and she was born different, then she needs to be better equipped to face that reality in the world.

Instead of understanding or acceptance, Azula only feels fear. She has never been more terrified than she is right now. The wedge between mother and daughter is driven deeper. Ursa is not equipped to have this conversation. Married at twenty-one, a mother by twenty-three, she is not even thirty-four now. She has no experience talking about this subject, with anyone, let alone a child and her own progeny. All Ursa knows is that she sees something budding in her daughter. Something that her own Father would kill her for, regardless of her status as a 'prodigy.'

She tries again with the small girl, "You must be careful, Azula, with whom you share your heart."

The words reach her, but Azula doesn't hear them. They don't latch on the way Ursa wants them to. Ursa searches for the perfect thing to say, the exact right string of words that will salvage this moment. She has seen how Azula reacts to direct orders.

_'Perhaps that will work best?'_

"Now," she says, sitting up straight to her fullest height. She commands Azula, "Say it back."

"Say what?" She asks, but stares at her feet. She refuses to look up at her mother.

Ursa repeats, "In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys."

Azula feels the shame rise in her. Her voice trembles, but she replies, "In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys."

Commanding felt wrong. Ursa can't help but feel like she has botched this conversation every step of the way. She wants to instill some hope in her daughter. She wants her to end this on a positive note. She tells her, "Maybe that could be different someday, Azula, but it's not _right now_."

A gloom settles over Azula. The daylight is all but gone beyond the horizon. The sun has set on the endless summer afternoon. The divide between the women grows. Azula says nothing. The mother tries to reach her daughter. She speaks calmly, but there is a desperation in her voice.

"I love you, Azula."

She reaches to hug her daughter, but Azula jumps up and runs off without another word. She may cry, she may explode with anger, she may do both, or neither. But she will do nothing with her mother present. She will do none of it in the arms of her mother.

* * *

A few days pass and the girls return to play. When they arrive, Azula rejects them outright. She doesn't want to play with them today. She doesn't know if she wants to play with them ever again. Mai and Ty Lee whine and complain, they demand her time and attention.

Azula would have remained steadfast against them, if not for Ursa's interference. The mother saw clearly what was happening. She would not let her daughter continue down a path of self-sabotaging her friendships. She insists on letting them in to play, much to the joy of the visitors.

As is the case with most things, time passes and Azula forgets. She forgets what she talked with her mother about on the bench in the Royal Garden. For a time at least, she returns to being just a little girl. Playing with her friends around the palace reclaims her innocence, temporarily.

They play hide and seek this time, and as is the case every time they play hide and seek, Azula wins easily. She tracks them where they lie, and they never find her tucked away in some far off corner. Over her years exploring the Royal Palace as only a child can, Azula has found hidden doors and secret passageways. It's what makes the game so easy for her. The girls gather near the Coronation Plaza and complain of her dominance over the game.

"Can we play something else, Azula?" Ty Lee asks. "You always win Hide and Seek."

"I know, and I love it." She boasts.

"Where did you even hide this time?" Mai asks curiously.

"Oh, this time was one of my favorite spots!"

"Where was it?" Mai asks. "Show us."

"No way! Then I won't be able to use it again!"

Ty Lee begs her, "Oh c'mon, 'Zula. _Please_!"

Swept up in the moment, she takes pleasure in making Ty Lee happy. She acquiescence, "Oh, alright."

The two girls cheer in unison. Azula begins walking away and tells them, "Keep up, slowpokes!"

She dashes off away from the plaza and the friends give chase. She twists them down alleys and narrow pathways. Finally, after a minute or so, she comes to a halt. Ty Lee and Mai catch up quickly. They stand near what appears to be a run of the mill wooden door. It's positioned against a cobble wall that encircles the royal palace. She points at it and tells them, "This is it."

Mai looks it up and down and says, "Doesn't look like a secret passageway."

Ty Lee chimes in, "Yeah, Azula, it just looks like someone's shed. What do they have in there, garden tools?"

"That's exactly _why_ it's the best secret passageway, because no one thinks about it. It's just an everyday door, but if you open it-"

_Click_

_Woosh_

She unlatches the lock and then pulls it open. There is no back wall. It goes straight back for a few feet, built into the cobble wall behind, and then a flight of stairs go downward into a dark tunnel.

"Whoa! How cool!" Ty Lee immediately runs into the open door and to the top of the steps.

"Where does it go?" Mai asks.

Azula explains, "If you go through it and go down those steps and just keep going, you'll be just outside the capital in a few minutes."

Ty Lee stands at the top of the steps and shouts, "Mai, you gotta see this!"

Azula steps through the entryway and Mai gets a devious idea. She stays at the entrance. As soon as Azula is a step or two in, she puts her plan into action.

_Woosh_

_Click_

"What the?" Ty Lee exclaims.

"Mai?" Azula says to the closed, wooden door.

All of the light from the outside is extinguished. Only thin slits in the doors allow for any sunlight to pass into the narrow passageway. A low giggle can be heard from the other side of the door.

Azula approaches the door, "Mai? What are you doing?"

_Knock knock_

Azula knocks on the door, wondering if something happened to her friend. Ty Lee walks up behind her. After a brief pause a voice comes back, "You said yourself you can be outside the capital in a few minutes. Just walk out and then come back."

"Mai! Open the door!" Azula commands her. "Let us out!"

"What are you gonna do, Azula? Burn it down?"

Azula grows furious with the girl. She raises her hand and lights a blue flame in her palm. It illuminates the dark and illuminates the little girl standing with her.

The flame provides the light in the dark. Azula can't help but look into those grey-brown eyes and find solace. A sense of security about their situation. Ty Lee wears a big, goofy smile and looks at those golden eyes from barely a few feet away.

"It's okay, Azula. We're safe as long as we're together."

Azula keeps the flame lit but steps away from the door. She steps towards her friend and closes the space between them. They look at one another. 'Safe' is the perfect word to describe it. Azula feels safe when she is around Ty Lee. She feels happy. She feels…

_"In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys."_

_'No no no no no!'_

Panic spikes in Azula. Her eyes go wide and she steps away from Ty Lee. Caught off guard, Ty Lee takes a step back as well. She doesn't know what's happening, but Azula suddenly is acting differently. She turns towards the door and shouts, "Mai, if you don't open the door right now I will have my father destroy your family!"

Ty Lee whispers to her, "Azula, that's not very nice."

Azula knows she can't burn the door now, because then the secret passageway wouldn't be hidden anymore. Mai knows this as well and was part of the fun for her. Mai teases, "You want me to open it? Make me!"

Azula walks back a few feet. She goes to the top of the steps and faces the door. She runs at it, picking up steam, then throws the full force of her shoulder at it.

_Bump_

The door doesn't even budge. Mai hears her friend crash against it, then slowly get back up. She concots a new twist of the knife. Azula rubs her shoulder and walks back towards the steps.

Ty Lee asks, "Are you alright, Azula? Do you want me to check your shoulder?"

Mai peers through the thin slits in the door and sees Azula in position.

"No, Ty Lee, get out of the way!"

Azula slumps her shoulders and prepares. She runs at it, picking up steam, then throws the full force of her shoulder at it.

_Click_

_Woosh_

Just as she's arriving at it, Mai unlocks the door and swings it open. Azula throws her shoulder at nothing but air. She leaves her feet and tumbles to the ground.

"Ahhh!" Azula shouts, hitting the ground. A burning pain sears her right hand.

"Hahaha!"

"Mai! That wasn't funny!" Ty Lee shouts as she comes running out of the dark. Mai doesn't even hear her over her own laughter.

_Woosh_

_Click_

Ty Lee closes it shut and then locks the wooden door. She then turns away and looks towards Azula, still on the ground, writhing in some pain. She rushes to her aid and falls to the ground with her.

"What happened, 'Zula?"

"Gahh." Azula whines, grasping the palm of her right hand.

"Here, let me see."

Ty Lee holds Azula's wrist with one hand and slowly peels back Azula's left hand with the other. It exposes a small scrape in the palm of Azula's hand, likely from trying to break her fall. Ty Lee looks down at it. She releases Azula's left hand and uses her now free hand to delicately graze over the little cuts. Her finger tips slide across the rest of Azula's palm. The attention, the care, the touch of Ty Lee, it all calms Azula.

Ty Lee looks at the hurt and whispers, "See, not so bad."

A memory flashes of life at home and Ty Lee gets an idea. She suddenly lowers her head and brings Azula's damaged palm closer to her face. This surprises Azula but doesn't stun her. She sees the girl getting close and retracts her hand.

"What are you doing?"

They draw eye contact. Ty Lee looks dumbfounded and embarrassed. She shouldn't have tried to do what she did, but she had, and it had been rejected. She sheepishly admits, "Oh, well, my Mom always kisses our boo boos to make them feel better so I thought-"

"Well stop it! Don't do that!" She shouts at the brunette.

Mai giggles at them, "You're cute together."

_FLOOM!_

Azula turns on the ground and wheels on Mai. With her left hand she tosses a fireball at her. Mai narrowly dodges it and both friends shout their disapproval.

"Hey!" Mai yells.

"Azula! What are you doing?" Ty Lee tries to ask.

Madness overcomes the young girl. She stands up and grits her teeth. She wants to say something but she isn't sure what. She wants to hurt Mai for saying they were "cute together," but she isn't sure if she should. The conflict runs amok of her mind for a second.

"Just… leave! Right now! I don't want to see either of you ever again!"

"You… don't mean that, right?" Ty Lee asks, hurt.

Mai scoffs. "Ugh, whatever, Azula. We'll see you later."

She turns and begins walking away. After waiting for an answer and not getting one, Ty Lee hurriedly gets to her feet and runs to catch up.

Mai dislikes Azula's short temper, in general but especially to such a tiny joke. She felt like the girl in the palace was overreacting to a minor injury. She knew she didn't mean what she said, but the fact that she said it was blowing the whole thing out of proportion.

Ty Lee follows along, but her mind stays with the black hair, golden eyed girl in the back alley. Ty Lee likes it better when they are playing and having fun. She wishes that Azula wanted to play and have fun again. She hopes it was an exaggeration that she doesn't want to see her again. Mai seems sure of it, but Ty Lee's feelings are hurt as the two go marching home.

Alone at last, Azula looks down at the wound. It burns slightly. As she stands there without her friends, she slowly realizes that it doesn't hurt as much as she thought. She regrets sending them away, but now it's too late to apologize. She grips her right palm with her left hand and makes her own way home.

* * *

Azula walks into her royal chambers, her mind adrift. She is in so much pain that it is difficult for her to think straight. Her pain doesn't stem from her scraped hand though, but from somewhere else. From something deep within her.

She paces around her room, her mind playing and replaying events from the last few days. Ty Lee crying at the door. Ty Lee smiling at her, an oasis in the desert of ordinary. Ty Lee in the dark, telling her that they are safe. A peck on the cheek. The soft graze of their hands touching.

_"Little girls like little boys."_

She stops pacing and looks across the room. A cream-white object on her nightstand catches her attention. Mesmerized, she walks over to it. She picks up the Moon Flower and stares at it. Her right hand, with the scrape inside, closes around the base of the flower. Azula loves the flower. Azula _wants_ to love the flower.

In her heart, the heat rises. It courses through her veins.

_Crackle_

Slowly the flower burns. Azula summons the fire into her hand and the flower catches. She burns the flower to erase the memory; to erase the pain. She holds her open palm out in front of herself now, the same way Ty Lee had presented it to her the other day. She watches it burn and melt. The cream petals curl inward and then blacken as they burn away, until the flower is just ashes. Something that was beautiful and alive, is now dead and gone in her hand.

Azula hated that little flower.

She hates her mother.

She hates Ty Lee.

Ty Lee's voice rings in her mind.

_"I love you, Azula!"_

She slowly tilts her hand and the ashes sprinkle down towards the ground. A pain sparks within her soul. A voice in her head questions her.

_'How could somebody ever love me?'_

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it and will consider reviewing/ leaving comments/ likes/ kudos, etc et al, and keep up with the remaining chapters. This entire fic has been written start-to-finish before any of it is posted, so you'll have the rest of the story on a regular updating basis.

My first A/N and my last A/N are the only times I really leave any thoughts. I've learned from my peers and inspirations that less is more.

Speaking of inspirations, this story will be very similar in nature to coveredinsun's "I Didn't Have It In Myself To Go With Grace" (AO3, ATLA) and Longclaw1-6's "Empire of Ice and Fire" (FF, Game of Thrones). Essentially, we're accepting that _most_ of what happens in ATLA is canon, but we'll visit a few key moments and see them play out a little differently. There's also some creative liberty as we add new scenes for consideration (like this entire first chapter). It shows you how much changes with just the smallest twist of the knife. Or, as my _Autumn Ends_ readers will tell you, we cast the stone and watch 'the ripples on the pond.'

On a separate note, I have created an Official Soundtrack (OST) for this story. These are songs that I chose for a myriad of reasons. They emotionally align with the story, they remind me of things I was thinking about as I wrote it, they are songs I listened to for inspiration as I worked on this story for the last few months. I will be updating my bio (on FF) with each installation for the chapter, song+artist. This chapter's OST is "Forever ... (is a long time)" by Halsey.

Most of these end A/Ns from here on out will just be that chapter's OST. Again, I appreciate all comments, reviews, likes, and kudos, or what have you. Thank you so much for your time!

Love always. Tyzula forever.

Notorious


	2. Now Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula looks out a window. Ty Lee rejects an offer. They share the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Now Fall**

"When tracking your brother and uncle, traveling with the royal procession may no longer be an option."

"May no longer be wise."

In unison now, Lo and Li both speak. "If you hope to keep the element of surprise."

Crown Princess Azula of the Fire Nation sits inside her palanquin, with the curtains drawn. She listens to their counsel and weighs it. She concludes, "You're right. The Royal Procession is dead weight. If I want to catch my prey, I must be agile, nimble. I need a small, elite team."

Her mind flashes of the girls from her childhood. The ones she hasn't seen in many moons.

"It's time to visit some old friends."

* * *

Azula the fourteen year old girl settles into bed upon the Fire Nation navy vessel. She has an ornately decorated room, one befitting a princess, with a porthole. It is unusual for the royalty to be located on the perimeter of the ship. Most royalty keep their chambers tightly encased in the center, allowing for maximum security and protection should there be a boarding party.

Azula's reasoning to Lo and Li and anyone else who would ask is straightforward: She wants the element of surprise.

In the event that her vessel should be the target of some enemy invasion, they would surely look for royalty and other such important individuals in the center of the boat. Should they successfully fight their way to the middle, they would only find an empty chamber. No one would be there for them, no one weak and afraid. Her enemies would simply have trapped themselves in the middle of a maze, with a monster lurking just behind them.

For you see, she would tell them, Crown Princess Azula is no helpless nobleman's daughter. She is a warrior. She would prove a more formidable foe than any they had overcome on their way behind enemy lines. She would have no honeyed words for them. The world is fierce, but Azula is fiercer.

This was satisfactory to Lo and Li and anyone else who should ask. Azula is a prodigy. The child of Ozai, the seed of Sozin. A tactical genius and she is barely a teenager. It is easy to see the logic and easier to accept her determined will.

Yet, it is _mostly_ a lie.

The only thing Azula truly cares about is a porthole with a nice view. The days are long. The nights are longer. Traveling in search of Zuko and her uncle was not her first time on extensive naval trips, and this trip is unlikely to be her last. She had determined some time ago that the only thing she really desired on a boat is a view of the sea as her ship passed in the night.

More to the point, Azula desires the ability to watch the moon from her bedroom, wherever that may be. It is an odd ritual, she admits as much to herself. The origins of it are lost on her as well. Yet still, looking up at it, on land or on sea, calms her.

Azula pulls her eyes away from the porthole. She looks down at the papers spread out across her bed. A pair of exhaustive reports detailing the latest information on the whereabouts of her friends Mai and Ty Lee. There are four or five pages of documents. Only one of them is dedicated to Mai. A short half-sheet providing the very public record of her family moving to Omashu so that her father could become the governor of the occupied city. Azula knew what was on the report before it was given to her, but she still wanted to have it.

_'More information is better than less.'_

The other three or four pages were comprehensive notes tracking the movements and last known locations of Ty Lee. The young acrobat, it turns out, is exceedingly difficult to pin down. She is a runaway. Azula knew that she ran away from home, but no one knew where she went, nor why she had left. It was a complete mystery.

_'Ty Lee is not some flower, ripped by the roots for her beauty and left to die. She is wild, difficult to find, and impossible to forget.'_

Azula's mind wanders. She ruminates over the last few years. How Azula put distance between them and they drifted off. She begins to think about her eyes. How they used to shine.

_'No! This is about needing her to assist me in my mission. This is a business trip. This is about what she can do for me and nothing else.'_

She returns to the papers. Ultimately, the best intelligence the entire Fire Nation army could provide in the search for Ty Lee was that she is now a part of a traveling circus. This struck Azula as bizarre. _'Why the circus?'_ she wonders. She feels that Ty Lee has far too much potential to be wasted on a traveling show.

Azula looks at the time. It is far too late, or perhaps she means too early, to still be awake. She shuffles the papers together and files them away. She extinguishes the lamp and climbs into bed.

They'll arrive tomorrow. Tonight will be her last night for a long time in a bed chamber of any kind. Azula will disembark and leave the royal procession behind in search of the girls. If the intelligence proves inaccurate, she'll have to begin looking on her own. The only thing that could be worse would be to find Ty Lee and have her reject the invitation.

Azula rolls over in her bed and stares out the porthole. Given the angle of the ship she finds that while lying down on the bed her view is slightly obstructed. She sits up on her elbow to look out and she sees it, shining brightly down in the dark. Although they have been separated by years and miles and leagues, Azula knows they share the moonlight.

_'I wonder if she's looking up at it too?'_

Azula falls down off her elbow and onto the bed. Her head thuds on the pillow. She drifts off to sleep while thinking of her old friend.

* * *

"Ty Lee, could that possibly be you?"

Pulling her eyes upward towards the source, Ty Lee's excitement rises before she even sees her. Just the sound of her voice tells the brunette all she needs to know. She finds the jet black hair and the shimmering golden eyes.

"Azula!"

Ty Lee quickly flips her stance and spins around in a graceful twirl. She falls to the ground and bows before the princess. She pauses a moment to observe the reverence of the act.

Time seems to slow down for Ty Lee. She has decided what she will do. With all of the swiftness of the wind she makes her move. The gap between them evaporates faster than water in a boiling heat. Her arms out in front of her, Ty Lee lunges at Azula.

Azula sees it coming the whole way.

She opens up and envelopes her old friend into her arms. Azula feels Ty Lee's single hairbraid knock against her slightly bowed head. She breathes her in. The smell of her sweat, her aroma, it's all so sweet _._

"It is _so good_ to see you!" Ty Lee whispers into her ear.

Azula thinks about how she never lets anyone get this close to her. No one is allowed to touch her like this. But seeing Ty Lee for the first time in years, she lets it happen. She doesn't stop it or try to slow it. She welcomes it. She holds the girl and squeezes her against her own body. It feels like she belongs here.

_'This is just a natural reaction. Nothing to be made of it. Nothing to think about. Just friends doing what friends do when they haven't seen each other in years.'_

They separate from their embrace but as they pull apart, for some odd reason, Azula feels Ty Lee's hands slide down her arms until they come to a rest holding hands. They stand apart but hold this moment. Azula smiles with relief.

_'I found her.'_

Ty Lee can barely believe her own eyes. She smiles out of wonder and excitement. It's been _years_ since she's seen Azula! She really is here with her. Way out in the middle of nowhere with the Fire Nation Circus. She can't help but notice Azula's aura, a dark violet.

_'She found me.'_

Ty Lee finally realizes they are still holding hands and releases them, wondering if she had awkwardly held on for too long. Azula wonders why she releases the hold, disappointed.

"Please, don't let me interrupt your…," she raises her eyebrow in confusion. "Whatever it is you were doing."

_'A great excuse to show off!'_ Ty Lee thinks.

She does a backflip. She rests on her chest and does leg stretches, pointing them at the black haired girl.

"Tell me, what is the daughter of a nobleman doing here? Certainly our parents didn't send us to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls to end up in…," she looks off to the side at an odd sight. "Places like this."

Azula watches a platypus bear give birth to an egg. She looks on with bewilderment. She turns back to Ty Lee, who is watching the same thing with bemusement on her face. Azula was hoping for an answer but Ty Lee's distraction tells her that she won't be getting one.

"I have a proposition for you. I'm hunting a traitor." She looks down at her nails. They appear very long and she determines she should trim them later on.

"You remember my old fuddy-duddy uncle, don't you?"

Ty Lee rests both of her feet on the very top of her head. Azula doesn't seem impressed, but she has to stretch anyway so she doesn't mind. She racks her memory of Iroh and replies, "Oh yeah. He was so funny."

_'Moment of truth.'_

"I would be _honored_ if you joined me on my mission."

The realization of what is being asked strikes Ty Lee like lightning. Much like her embrace of Azula, her answer is an immediate reaction, without thought put in behind it.

"Oh ... I ... uh ... would love to."

With one fluid and elegant movement she stands up. Azula doesn't like the tone and feels like she will be saying more momentarily. Ty Lee speaks from the heart. What she says is what she feels right now. She appreciates the offer, but doesn't want to turn her life upside down. She places her hand over her chest and smiles sincerely.

"... But the truth is, I'm really happy here."

_'No!'_

Ty Lee does a waving motion high above her head and closes her eyes. "I mean, my aura has never been pinker!"

Azula doesn't know the first thing about auras. She's never cared about them and doesn't want to know right now. This is a defeating moment and one she had only feared would come to pass. Still, if _this_ is what she wants, then who is Azula to judge?

Ty Lee has spent years dodging official reports and escaping her family. Only the full force of the Fire Nation Army intelligence community has brought Azula to this point. Someone this desperate to stay off the radar shouldn't be forced to return to it.

She puts a hand up in a stop motion, "I'll take your word for it."

A lump catches in her throat as she says, "Well, I wouldn't want you to give up the life you love just to please me."

Despite her disappointment, Azula honestly means what she says. More than anything, more than catching her uncle and Zuko, she wants her friend to be happy. Even if that means that Azula goes it alone in her search.

_'Wait, really? That's it?'_

Ty Lee had expected a fight. A back and forth. An attempt to force the issue. The golden eyed girl is just going to walk away. She bows her head in reverence and says, "Thank you, Azula."

Azula turns and exits. Ty Lee lingers a moment watching her friend just walk away. She wishes the girl would turn back so she could stare for long into her golden eyes. She wants to capture the memory of them in her mind, so she can remember it for long after Azula is gone. She had missed them and staring into them just now sparked something within.

As Azula departs she feels a rush of emotions and thoughts. They all center around the brunette she is leaving. She can't explain why, but for some reason one thought keeps sticking her in the side like a thorn she can't find.

_'Why the circus?'_

Ty Lee turns away from her destiny. She returns to stretching and begins wondering if she made the right decision. Azula stops in her tracks and makes a decision. She did not come this far to _only_ come this far. At the very least she should learn why it was this hole in the earth that Ty Lee chose to hide in.

She turns back and sees her friend stretching her leg high over her head. She shouts, "Of course, before I leave, I'm going to catch your show."

The second-guessing goes into hyperdrive instantaneously. Ty Lee panics, breaking her stance. She is no stranger to being the center of attention, but performing for Azula is a different animal all together.

She responds, "Uh ... yeah ... sure ... uh ... of course!"

Azula smiles and looks away. She retreats to her mongoose lizard to await the show. Ty Lee drops her leg and looks back. She watches the small girl get smaller. Her mind wanders away from her.

Ty Lee does not miss her parents. She does not miss the capital. She does not miss living in luxury. She does not miss her identical sisters. She does not miss anything from the high society way of life.

But she missed Azula.

* * *

The Crown Princess takes her seat and prepares for the show. She looks up and down at the set up before her. Dozens of feet in the sky are a pair of pillars and a tightrope connecting them. Down below a net awaits for safety precautions. The ringleader, a proud man, desperate to impress Azula, stands beside her seat.

She admires the sight before her, "Incredible. Do you think she'll fall?"

He is supremely confident in his response, "Of course not."

Azula doesn't like his tone. She wants to remind him of his place. "Then wouldn't it make it more interesting if you removed the net?"

She looks right at him. The fear is immediately evident on his face. He stammers, "Uh… the thing is… the performers…"

Azula lets him off the hook, "You're right, you're right. That's been done."

He feels a sweat drop down his head. She revels in this moment. He may be the ringleader, but Azula is in control.

She briefly ponders what more she could do to torture him, to make the show more interesting, or to raise the stakes.

_'I know! Set the net on fire. And release all the dangerous animals.'_

Azula doesn't say this, she only thinks it. She holds it in and sits on it, considering it for later. She's here to watch her friend perform and see all of her talent on display. Doing something as reckless as that would be great to watch, but may send the wrong message. She is not here to twist Ty Lee's arm until she changes her mind and goes with Azula. Only a monster would do that.

_'But I can be a monster when I need to.'_

* * *

High up on a stage above the ground, Ty Lee stands, prepared to go out for her performance. Azula is just sitting down for her private showing. Ty Lee is excited to put on a show for her old friend, but at the same time her nervousness is reaching a crescendo.

Ty Lee is not nervous to perform. She is nervous because it is Azula. Second-guessing and self-doubt are becoming her. For the first time in a long time, her aura slowly darkens. It shades into a taffy, or perhaps fuchsia color.

Ty Lee walks out across the tightrope. She bounds and twirls in her basic moveset. Nothing out of the ordinary. These actions come almost without thought. It is her later actions that require laser focus. Ty Lee is glad to have some leeway to begin, because her mind is swimming in recollection.

_"But the truth is, I'm really happy here."_

_'But am I? Am I happier? Happier now than when I was with her? When we were younger?'_

Ty Lee shoves this thought aside. She refocuses. She bounces up and does a flip, landing gracefully in the same spot. She walks forward and backwards as she pleases.

_"Well, I wouldn't want you to give up the life you love just to please me."_

_'Is this the life I_ love _? Is this how I'll spend the rest of my life? Do I want something more?'_

Ty Lee returns to the platform and gathers a deep breath. Two burly men, one on each side of the tightrope, take a moment to get an object out into the middle of the rope. A new challenge for the acrobat, a new opportunity to showcase her skills. This is when Ty Lee is at her best. When she needs to be at her best.

_'Azula is here because she needs me for a mission. She needs help and people she can rely on to track down her Uncle. That's all. This is a business trip. She just needs people she can trust. She needs friends…'_

The men are just about done loading the object for Ty Lee to vault. Instead of eyeing it though, her eyes are drawn down to the Princess.

From the distance it is all fuzzy, but Ty Lee sees it. Staring straight up at her is the Princess. Ty Lee knows it's because she's performing and it's the only reason Azula is here still. Azula is here for a mission. She wants Ty Lee the partner, not Ty Lee the person. She knows this. She tells herself this.

As with the rest of her day, doubt creeps in.

_'But what if it's not? What if she… wants more too?'_

"Ty Lee! What are you waiting for?" Someone says into her ear.

"Oh! Sorry!"

She quickly rushes out onto the tightrope again. She bounces around and climbs it until she is upside down, balancing with one hand on a circle platform. She extends her hands and legs in a show of strength and ability. Once more, her mind wanders.

Ty Lee has always struggled with her feelings for Azula. She has had 'boyfriends' before, many of them, in fact. She enjoyed them, for a while at least. But when they were growing up and going to school, she had a thinly veiled crush on the regal girl. Something she fought off for years, but still resonates today.

_'Azula is powerful, but soft inside. She's filled with rage, but really it's just the fire fueling her soul. She's demanding, but tender. She looked out for me.'_

_'She made me feel seen.'_

Ty Lee had been born with six identical sisters. Growing up, her only defining characteristic was her acrobatic ability. Given that she was never the smartest or prettiest, Ty Lee could have easily been lost in the shuffle. But in a world that wanted to forget who Ty Lee was, Azula remembered her always. In a world where Ty Lee tried to lose herself, Azula found her anyway.

Ty Lee suppressed her crush on Azula. She dug deep and hid it so far down that she didn't think she'd ever find it again. But she always lavished Azula with praise and compliments. She even tried to kiss her 'boo boo' once when Azula got hurt.

Perhaps she buried those feelings out of shame, or maybe it was fear. She had heard what Fire Lord Azulon and Fire Lord Ozai would do to people that felt the way she felt. Yet, she pined for Azula anyway. She _still_ pines for Azula. And when she ran off to the circus, she was opened to a new world. People who are far more accepting than those at the Capital. Now, she loves to love.

Her hand carefully pivots on the circle as she continues to flex and perform. But her mind races out in front of her. She thinks about the affection that Azula never returned. How just seeing Azula again brought her to her knees. How she is just unraveling and they've barely spoken.

Most of all though, Ty Lee thinks of those golden eyes. She thinks about how she wanted to steal a final glance at them earlier, to remember them. Ty Lee wants to wake up to those eyes every single day. She doesn't want them to be some distant memory in her mind that will eventually fade.

Mentally, she does gymnastics. _'Do it. Take a leap of faith. Take the plunge.'_

Her eyes keenly become aware of her hand. She looks down at the circle platform that holds her up.

_'I have to go with her and see where these feelings go. If I stay here, I'll always wonder what would've happened. I can't just let her walk away.'_

Slowly, consciously, she allows her legs to come out of position. She begins to lose her balance. She feels herself slipping.

_'Now… fall.'_

Ty Lee's legs slip too far downward. Her elbow buckles and her hand loses its place on the platform. She slips off of it and falls off of the object.

"AHHHHH!" She screams.

On her way down she reaches for the tightrope. Her wrist smacks against it, causing a searing pain. The ornate tiara that she wears with her outfit flys off and goes tumbling down. She spins through the air helplessly and falls down into the net below.

_Crash!_

"WHOA!"

"Get down there and check on her!"

"Someone go find the healer!"

The circus workers all rush about in an effort to assist the fallen girl. Azula stands up on her tippy toes and tries to find her in the safety net. Without realizing it she's holding her breath, trying to get a glimpse of her fallen friend.

Suddenly, she becomes self-conscious and realizes that she shouldn't look so concerned. She turns to the ringleader and asks him, "Is that supposed to happen?"

He replies frantically, "No! No! Never! It's, it's never happened before! I-I don't know what happened."

"Well don't just stand there, go be a leader and do something about it." She commands him.

He takes off to assist. After a few moments, Ty Lee emerges from the net, unscathed. They immediately run a battery of tests and inspections of her body. Azula watches all from afar, her fists clenched. Earlier she had considered having them set the net on fire, or releasing all of the wild animals, or both. She is now relieved to have not done so.

It could have endangered and completely altered the outcome of Ty Lee's performance.

* * *

Azula steps into the changing room. She wades through the darkness until she is behind Ty Lee. The performer is removing make-up in front of a mirror. Azula positions herself so that Ty Lee is blocking her reflection. Ty Lee hears the girl behind her. She looks in the reflection and sees her friend.

Azula, seeing her lookup, starts. "That was quite the performance." She pauses. Ty Lee notices how she doesn't look directly up at her in the reflection, but rather looks off in the distance.

She continues, "I'd love to stay another day and see you perform again tomorrow. Maybe this time you won't-"

Ty Lee forces herself to calm. She doesn't want her nerves to betray her. She speaks clearly and definitively, "I'm sorry, Azula, but unfortunately there won't be a show tomorrow."

This is oddly crushing for Azula. She feels a sense of disappointment come over her. She really can't afford to wait two more days before going onward to Omashu. She asks her, a tinge of the disappointment seeping into her question, "Really?"

Ty Lee removes the tiara from her head. _'Calm. Calm. Calm.'_ She replies, "The universe has given me strong hints that it's time for a career change."

She stands up, placing the tiara on a rack. She slowly turns around. For a moment Azula sees her own reflection and quickly looks away. She looks directly at Ty Lee instead. The pretty brunette turns to face her. Her brown-grey eyes serve as a safe haven from the mirror.

"I want to join you on your mission."

In the poorly lit room, in a position where Azula refuses to look away, Ty Lee's eyes are as bright and beautiful as the stars in the dark of space. Azula doesn't care that Ty Lee fell during her performance, she's just glad her friend is okay. She's clearly gifted, and it was glorious while it lasted. Azula marvels at her long, lost friend.

_'She's the most perfect girl in the world.'_

"Well, I am relieved to hear that. It wouldn't be the same without you."

Ty Lee smiles and replies, "Of course. I live to serve you, as the Crown Princess. It is my privilege to stand beside you on this journey."

She lowers her head and bows to Azula again. Azula briefly thinks this is a little over to the top, but also enjoys being worshipped. When she lifts her head again, she is met with those smiling, golden eyes.

"Well, you better get some sleep. We leave at first light."

"Goodnight, Princess."

As Azula takes her leave, Ty Lee notices something odd. The two girls had a matching, lavender aura. While Ty Lee was sad that he aura has slipped away from it's pink hue, this is not an all together devastating development.

As soon as Azula is outside the tent she feels the relief wash over her. She feels other positive emotions, but doesn't acknowledge them. She keeps her demeanor the same, but as she walks to her camp she wears a smug expression. She didn't have to twist Ty Lee's arm, and she got the girl anyway.

_'I wonder what changed?'_

* * *

Azula positions herself under a blanket and lays down in the grass. Her mongoose lizard, tied up and fed, sleeps nearby. She could've asked for a tent to stay with the circus, but she surmised that it would have been dirtier and worse than sleeping on the ground itself.

She adjusts her makeshift pillow and then stares up into the night sky. The stars and galaxies and constellations all spread out before her. Azula wasn't the type to go camping. She had lived in the lap of luxury all of her life. Sitting here and staring into the cosmos was chilling. It made her feel small. Insignificant.

Rather than think too long about the abyss, she turns her head. Looming large was a full moon. Bright and shining, it spread its light all across the land. Azula drifts off to sleep thinking about the moonlight.

Meanwhile, a hundred yards or so away, a brunette acrobat lies awake in bed. Her mind races through her night and her decisions. Some self-doubt creeps up from time to time, which is natural. She pays it no mind though. Through a thin flap in her tent, she looks out at the sky. A sliver of the moon shown through the slit. She drifts off to dreamland soon after taking in the moonlight.

* * *

Ty Lee finds herself alone. She is back in the Fire Nation and she knows this place from somewhere. In the capital, near the palace. She knows this place. She looks up and the sky is on fire. That is not all that she sees in the sky.

Twisting and turning, a giant monster floats above. It seems to be circling her, and quickly descends. She doesn't move, she doesn't feel like she can. Her hands feel bound behind her back, and she doesn't make any effort to say anything.

The winged monster slowly droops until it is nearly at eye level. It's face is long, with a snout that extends towards her. Whiskers protrude outward. It has a long, dark-red, snaking body, and tiny claw-like hands. Slowly it lowers it's slanted eyes until she can see right into them.

Staring right at her are a pair of golden eyes. The beast snarls at her. She feels terrified. Her life is in danger. Yet she can not move. The dragon whispers to her.

_"You will never be found again."_

The dragon opens it's maw to bathe her in flames, but suddenly the ground opens up beneath her. Ty Lee falls into a hole. She looks up. The dragon squints at her. It turns and snakes away as the earth closes in above her and leaves her in darkness.

* * *

Ty Lee bolts up in bed. She sucks in deep breaths.

_Huff huff… huff… huff_

She feels her clothes sticking tightly to her skin, and her braided ponytail is matted against her collar bone. She looks around cautiously. No dragon snakes towards her. The moonlight no longer shines on her through the slit in the tent. She is alone.

She has always been alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter's OST is "Circus" by Brittney Spears.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	3. The Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula and Ty Lee travel to Omashu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**The Dragon**

All people of the Fire Nation rise with the sun. Except Azula. She is awake long before the sun rises.

She stands on a hill overlooking the circus tents, the early morning twilight beginning to lighten as the sun prepares to rise. She is already hard at work on her second day on the search. She is busy filing her fingernails all the way down to their base. She's grown tired of how long they've gotten and has decided to take some time to adjust their situation.

As she finishes filing, she looks out into the sky. The stars are barely visible at this point, and the moon fades into the morning light. She takes it in one last time and then her mind pivots to the girl she is waiting on. In a lot of ways, the moon and Ty Lee are one in the same.

They're both radiant to behold, and everyone who looks at them can see it. They all see why they are luminous. When anyone pauses to look at them, really look at them, they can't pull their eyes away. People gaze upon her, but can never reach her. She's right there, so close they can almost touch her, but no one ever can. She's close by, but not really.

_'She doesn't bother with anyone… because she's too busy lighting up the dark.'_

* * *

Ty Lee finally rolls out of bed. After her nightmare there wasn't much sleep to be had for the young brunette. She tossed and turned over and again for a few hours. Exhaustion would set in and she would sleep for a bit. But then she would wake. The fear of a flying serpent loomed not far away.

She moves towards an open plot of land to meditate and smooth out her aura. It had seeped into an indigo color since the night before and she has to set it right before she leaves with Azula. As she is approaching the empty space of grass her peripheral catches something. Standing on a hill and staring out across the expanse of the circus is Azula. She stands atop the hill with her arms folded across her chest, her eyes scanning the distant horizon. Ty Lee is within her vision, probably, but she's not sure if her friend sees her.

Rather than settle for the empty plot of land, Ty Lee climbs up and around the hill. She circles in behind Azula and now approaches her from behind. She is waiting for the rising sun when Ty Lee approaches. The soft crunch of the girl's slippers against the grass alerts Azula to the presence of another. She had not seen her before, nor does she turn around now. She simply speaks to the empty twilight, "Good morning, Ty Lee."

Ty Lee stands stock still. Azula's aura bores into her mind a bright crimson. She takes a moment to process it and wonders how she could feel this way this early. She closes her eyes and falls to her knees. She throws her hands out in front of her and bows to the ground before Azula.

"Good morning, Princess."

Azula peeps over her shoulder at the sight and rolls her eyes. Azula believes kneeling on the ground is the rightful place of men, but no place for her friend.

"Ty Lee, we're going to be together for the foreseeable future. There won't be a need to bow every morning and every evening."

Ty Lee lifts her head and gets up off the ground. "But I live to serve, Princess."

_'Don't be difficult.'_ Azula thinks.

"Yes, of course, just… stop bowing."

_'She's changed since the capital.'_ Ty Lee thinks.

"As you command." She concedes.

Azula likes the way she says it. She likes the way it sounds rolling off of Ty Lee's tongue. As Azula _commands._

From behind her again, Azula is questioned, "So, where do we go first?"

Azula sees it at last. The light orange and red light peeking over the horizon. The sun is not quite there yet, but coming. She replies, "Omashu."

Ty Lee strides forward and stands beside Azula. Ty Lee puts her hands on her hips and looks out across the horizon, while Azula still insists on crossing her arms. Perking up, Ty Lee asks her, "Omashu? Is that-"

"Yes. Mai is there."

"And how will we get there?"

Azula's head turns ever so slightly to look at their ride. "I rode in on a mongoose lizard. We'll have to travel for a bit and get another for you along the way. We have to be mobile, Ty Lee. Impossible to contain. _Elusive_."

Ty Lee looks at the mongoose lizard a ways off as well. She smiles and says, "I better get started then!"

Promptly she sits down on the ground. She sits with her legs crossed. Carefully she positions her hands out to her sides, up in the air, and closes her eyes.

"What are you doing?" Azula says looking down at the bizarre sight.

"I have to start every morning or end every evening by meditating. So I can smooth out my aura."

" _Every_ morning or evening?" Azula asks, an air of mocking about the question.

"Sometimes even _both_ , Princess."

Azula chuckles at this. She raises her eyebrows and says, "I'll leave you to it."

Azula walks away to prepare for their travels. She leaves Ty Lee on the hilltop, meditating and smoothing her indigo aura back to violet and then into a coral color. She is left to her own thoughts and ponders over some of Azula's final words. 'Mobile. Impossible to contain. _Elusive_.'

Ty Lee hadn't seen Azula's eyes just now, but she has seen them in her dreams. In her nightmares. Azula was the dragon, or so at least Ty Lee thought. Her words and the nightmares felt, in an odd sort of way, fitting. Ty Lee knows the truth of why she is going on this mission with Azula. It is so she can chase the dragon.

_'Azula is a lot like a dragon. She's elusive and special. She doesn't seem real at times. Knowing that, she is kind of like keeping a secret.'_

_'In the last 100 years, the reality of it happening has been completely erased. The dragons were hunted by Sozin, and every Fire Lord since him has hunted people that feel the way that I do.'_

Ty Lee is tempted to chase the dragon. She knows she shouldn't chase it. She knows she will never catch it.

Yet somehow this doesn't stop her.

She keeps feeding the temptation. She keeps chasing. She goes forth on this mission alongside Azula riding the high of the wave. Seeing Azula, staring into her golden eyes, spending time with her. It gives her such energy. It inspires something inside of her. She will ride the wave of each high until the next one arises. She will ride the wave until it either crashes upon the shore, or sucks her into the undertow and drowns her.

Whichever comes first.

* * *

Azula extends her hand down towards the ground and hovers in front of Ty Lee.

"Come on, we'll have to ride together."

Ty Lee reaches up and grabs the hand. Azula pulls her up, but doesn't have to do much. Ty Lee has incredible upper body strength. She climbs into the saddle and positions herself directly behind Azula.

The Crown Princess reaches up and pulls a pair of goggles down off of her forehead and covers her eyes with them. Behind her, Ty Lee squeezes tightly against Azula. She wraps her arms around the Princess' waist. She pushes her own chest into the back of her friend. She gets close, to ensure she doesn't bounce around too much. She leans her head forward, into the bun of Azula's top knot.

_Sniff sniff_

The aroma is intoxicating to the brunette.

While this is happening, Azula tries to ignore what she is thinking about. She tries to not think about her friend's body pressed hard against her. She tries to not think about the hands wrapped around her waist, locked together in her lap.

She ignores all of this and simply asks, "Are we ready?"

Ty Lee looks all around her for a moment. She takes in the circus. It had been her safe haven for so long. The people here cared about her and protected her. She had a family here she has never known back home. Yet here she was, leaving it all behind for Azula.

"Ty Lee?"

Broken from her trance, she nods and whispers, "C'mon. You and me? It's time we got going."

Azula shakes the reins and the mongoose lizard shoots forward. Ty Lee looks around once more as they lurch forward and the circus quickly disappears behind her like a distant memory.

* * *

Ty Lee watches the fading scenery as the lizard zips across the land. She's astonished at how quickly their view changes. It goes from the sprawling green of the forest surrounding the circus to a desolate wasteland within seconds, maybe a minute. The shift from lush greens to pale reds and beige was without warning and harsh on the eyes.

As the girls travel forward, nothing is said. The longer they go without saying anything, the harder it is to be the first to speak. As Ty Lee looks out across the landscape and the changing scenery, she gets bleary eyed from the wind rushing into them. They water until she closes them because it is too painful. Not able to see, she leans into Azula's back and nuzzles the top of her head into the crook of Azula's neck.

Azula feels the warm sensation of Ty Lee pushing into her. Combined with the arms around her and the placement of Ty Lee's hands, Azula actively ignores how much she is enjoying this moment. She focuses on the path ahead instead. She focuses on their travel to the nearest Fire Nation stronghold so they can acquire a second mongoose lizard and this awkward situation can come to an end.

Meanwhile, the girl behind her is adapting. Ty Lee finds she is enjoying the darkness. She feels her arms against Azula, her hands clutch together in her lap, her chest against Azula's back, her forehead buried into her neck. She keeps her head down and feels the wind rushing. She tries to imagine what it looks like as they press onward. The rush of wind against her face, holding on for dear life to Azula, she feels her cheeks blush a little. She can't stop a thought from coming.

_'I wonder if this is what it's like to ride a dragon?'_

* * *

Azula drops off of the mongoose lizard after Ty Lee has disembarked. She observes her friend rubbing her eyes multiple times, thoroughly. Ty Lee opens one eye and watches as Azula starts moving towards the camp. She steps to catch up and comments on her predicament.

"Ugh, my eyes are so watery from the wind. It feels like I cried the whole way here, even when they were closed!"

Azula explains, "Precisely why I wore the goggles."

Ty Lee runs a final finger along the lining of her eye as she wipes the last remnants from them. "It's fine, shedding this many tears is good for you."

As they close in on their location, Azula looks sideways at her friend. "Is it now? I highly doubt that."

Ty Lee smiles widely. "Oh yes! It's good for your aura, and even better for your skin! It's healthy and natural to cry, to get your emotions out."

Azula raises her eyebrows at this. She can't remember the last time she cried. She can't remember _ever_ crying _._ Eyes facing forward as they arrive at a large tent she replies, "Crying is showing emotion. In combat you can never show your emotions, Ty Lee. It will make you weak, and thus an easier target for your enemy."

They push open the flap and as they do, Azula finishes her thought. "You have to abandon your emotions and be untethered in battle."

_'That's a little extreme.'_ Ty Lee thinks.

Azula approaches a makeshift desk where a soldier sits. She addresses them, "Yes, you there. We demand a mongoose lizard for our travels to Omashu."

The soldier never looks up from their paperwork and absentmindedly begins to reply, "Yeah, and I'd like-"

Their eyes trail up and when they do they shut up quickly. The young man sits up stock still. Azula glares down at him while Ty Lee wears a lopsided smile.

"You'd like what?" Ty Lee implores him to go on.

"Ahh nothing! I'd like nothing more than to serve you, Princess Azula."

"Of course you would." She hisses at him. "Now go and fetch me my lizard, or your superior."

"Right away, ma'am!" He says as he hurriedly gets up and scurries away.

Both girls smile as he rushes off. Azula out of celebration. Ty Lee at the amusement.

Ty Lee thinks, _'So many people fear Azula. But what's there to really be afraid of?'_

She looks at her friend again and notes how flawless she appears despite their trip. Her makeup is untouched despite the goggles, and her hair has but one single stray hair that is out of place.

_'Let's try chasing the dragon, shall we?'_

Ty Lee reaches a hand up towards Azula's face. Azula notices it getting closer and closer. Instinctively she leans back and her hand shoots up and captures Ty Lee's wrist.

"What are you doing?" She questions with narrowed eyes.

"You just," Ty Lee 'struggles' against the grip as she moves towards the hand. It's not a real effort she puts in to fight though. Ty Lee's wrist and hands are far stronger than Azula's from years of physical training and experience with the circus. She gives minimal effort so as to note upset the Princess.

Azula doesn't vehemently grip her wrist, because she doesn't earnestly believe the girl is trying to harm her. But she doesn't go lightly on her either. Nonetheless, Ty Lee's hand moves closer and closer.

Carefully she grips the lone strand of hair between her index and middle fingers. Azula, noticing this, finally loosens her grip on Ty Lee. Ty Lee's hand breaks free as she swipes the hair back behind Azula's ear.

For a brief moment, she leaves her hand there. Her fingertips rest just behind her ear. Her hand cups the side of her face. Azula's eyes start at the arm and then follow it to the body, where her eyes meet Ty Lee's at last.

When they make eye contact, Ty Lee becomes self-aware of what is happening, what she is doing, and what this looks like. She blushes and then quickly puts her hand down.

The two girls stand there, not saying anything. Azula looks away, while Ty Lee looks at the ground. She stammers out, "Well, um, anyway it's good that you didn't cry on the way here. Your makeup looks _so_ good!"

Azula, feeling awkward and not used to being complimented grumbles, "Yes, of course it does."

Ty Lee's brain short circuits and she speaks these next words before she can censor herself, "Of course, I think you may look even prettier without makeup on, Princess!"

Azula doesn't have time to reply to this because two soldiers approach them. One is the smart mouth from before, the other is an older man, who speaks first.

"Princess Azula, I am Lieutenant Colonel Ishizu, the commanding officer for this battalion. We were not expecting you. The Royal Procession-"

"-is no longer with me. I left from their docking yesterday morning."

"I see."

"And now I am in need of a mongoose lizard, so what are you waiting for? Go procure one for me."

"But Princess, we-"

"It sounds like you're about to make an excuse."

He stutters to a stop.

Azula narrows her eyes at him. "I don't believe my Father will be all too pleased to hear about my bartering with a Colonel Ishizu."

"It's Lieutenant Col-"

"-and it will be just Colonel Ishizu when I'm done with you if I don't have a mongoose lizard in front of me in the next 5 minutes."

He gulps in response. He builds up a head of steam and calmly tries to explain, "Be that as it may, we have no mongoose lizards left in our encampment, Princess. We simply have nothing to give you."

"Well where _are_ all of your mongoose lizards? You surely had a trove of them at some point."

"We were asked to consolidate our animal resources in Omashu."

"So _all_ of your mongoose lizards are already at Omashu?"

He gulps again. "I am afraid so, Princess."

_'Agni give me strength,'_ Azula thinks. She rolls her eyes, crosses her arms and looks away.

"Is there anything else we could provide for you in place of a lizard? We can give you travel by palanquin depending on where you are going, or fire benders as a battery of protection. Some of our men are the finest soldiers in the whole of the Fire Natio-"

"No, they won't be needed. And I doubt any of them would be able to do a better job of protecting us than ourselves."

Azula huffs. The Lieutenant Colonel wants to rebuff this, but thinks better of it. He asks, "Please, Princess, if there's anything at all?"

Silent this entire time, allowing Azula to run the show as she should, the brunette next to her perks up. She puts her hands on her hips and smiles wide at them.

Ty Lee asks, "Do you have any goggles?"

* * *

The two girls tread away from the camp in very different spirits. The Princess is flustered while the acrobat is pleased. She mindlessly fiddles with the goggles slung around her neck, while Azula's sit on top of her head. As they get closer to their ride, Ty Lee asks her, "So how long of a ride do you think it will be? We got here pretty quickly so maybe-"

"It's going to be an hour straight on this thing, give or take a little more time."

The trip to the battalion couldn't have been more than ten minutes, or so Ty Lee guesses. Surely an hour together again wouldn't be fun, but it was also no reason to be so fussy.

_'Maybe she just doesn't want to steer for a whole hour. I can help with that!'_

Ty Lee offers, "Well, I can make it easier for you, Azula!"

Azula's ears perk at this and she looks at the girl. "How so?"

Looking right into those golden eyes, Ty Lee asks, "Do you trust me to drive the mongoose?"

Azula breaks eye contact and without hesitation she answers, "No."

Ty Lee gasps in surprise. It was not just the answer she gave, but the surety in her voice. Azula looks at the lizard as they stop in front of it and continues, "I don't trust anyone. Don't take it personally, Ty Lee. You have to rely on yourself first, above anyone else."

Ty Lee composes herself. She files away what Azula has just said and will address it later on, at some point.

_'Doesn't trust_ anyone? _That's a hard way to live.'_

Azula climbs aboard first. Once she's situated she reaches her arm down. Ty Lee takes it and hoists herself up into the saddle, behind Azula. She enjoys her place up here and looks forward to the ride ahead. The black haired rider once again feels warm arms snake around her waist and clutch together just around her midsection.

When this happens, Azula feels a heat in her face and below her belt. She feels something in her stomach as well. Azula pushes these feelings away, pretends they're not there. She pulls her goggles down and seeing this, Ty Lee does the same. Azula will need to ignore her feelings for much longer this time, as she whips the reins.

Ty Lee feels the pull again as they lurch forward in a hurry. Through the orange-tinted view of the goggles, Ty Lee sees the blending of the surroundings again. It's not as scenic as before, the goggles not helping, but this time she can watch it all unfold in front of her.

Ty Lee finds it so amusing, watching the world pass by as they fly across the land. Her eyes do not water this time, she just watches. Still, she feels herself leaning into the girl in front of her. She pushes the side of her head into Azula's back. She snuggles up against the Crown Princess, the circumstances the only thing allowing this much physical contact with the royalty.

Azula won't make the same mistake this time. To take her mind off the feelings she's having in her core right now she starts the conversation as they make their way for Omashu. She asks, "Are the goggles helping?"

"Definitely! Much better!"

"Good, it would be a shame to ride this whole way without being able to see."

"Yeah," Ty Lee says, but a thought comes to mind. "So how did you end up chasing Zuko and your uncle?"

"How did you end up in the circus?" Azula fires back.

Affronted by this quick cut, Ty Lee instinctively replies, "I asked you first."

"I thought you lived to serve?"

Once again caught off guard, Ty Lee can't help but smirk. Azula had flipped the script on her. She closes her eyes and nods in response.

_'Well played, Azula.'_

She doesn't really want to talk about what happened. She's not ready to fully, at least. However, the Princess has demanded it of her, so she is compelled. She tells her, "Well, acrobatics were my thing, you knew that. And just, you know, there were some issues at home, so I ran away."

_'Playing it close to the vest, even with me?'_

_'Chase the dragon.'_

"Ya know, I thought about writing you letters."

Genuinely surprised, Azula leans her head back and looks over her shoulder. "You did?"

"I even started writing some of them. But then I stopped and never sent them."

Changing tunes Azula asks, "Why didn't you?"

Ty Lee sighs and reflects before answering. The memories come in waves. So many restless nights, sitting at her desk, staring at the parchment. In some flashes the parchment is empty. In others, it's completely full and spilling out into the tiniest margins at the bottom of the page, the writing getting smaller and smaller. So much fear of rejection. So much pain.

"We had kind of, I don't know. We had drifted apart. And I guess I was scared to say that I… missed you."

The warmth in Azula's core empties into a void that sucks all of the good feelings out of her.

"I guess I was scared if you didn't feel the same that it could drive a wedge between us forever."

This weighs heavy in the air between them. Azula confronts her feelings in this moment. She isn't exactly sure how she feels about Ty Lee's hands all over her. She never almost wrote a letter to Ty Lee.

_'There would have been no way to know where to send it anyway.'_

Azula hears the pain in her voice though. She can't help but feel for her. She wants to comfort her. Azula leans back again.

"Well… I _did_ miss you, Ty Lee."

Azula truly isn't sure if she means it sincerely. Late nights staring up at the moonlight, thinking about the girl holding onto her right now, perhaps that is what Azula felt. Maybe she missed her all along.

Ty Lee hides a smile and feels her aura brighten. She buries her head into the crook of Azula's neck again and lets the driver's hair whip into her face and goggles. The scenery fades a soft red, and the orange-tint of the goggles makes everything look golden.

_'Like daylight.'_

"Okay," Ty Lee says, remembering her question from earlier. "So what about you?"

Azula replies very matter of factly, "The Fire Lord commanded me so, and there is no higher honor."

As their trip unfurls, the girls continue to chatter. Ty Lee explains how while she was away in the circus she learned about pressure points and invented something she called "chi blocking." She claims it can take someone's bending away, temporarily anyway. Azula thinks that this kind of skill makes Ty Lee an actual asset in their fights ahead. She also thinks an army of people with this ability could topple even the Fire Nation.

She shutters at that thought and makes Ty Lee promise that she'll never "chi block" herself. Ty Lee teases that she could do it to her to showcase the skill, but both girls don't believe this will ever come to pass.

On the other hand, since Ty Lee disappeared, Azula has learned how to bend _lightning_! What's more, she has risen in the ranks of the Fire Nation army and she is given a special place alongside her father. Most importantly, though, is that she had learned that she has the mind of a tactical genius. She explains that they are simple things, two dots that she connects. What she sees as connecting dots, others claim as acumen.

For both girls, a thought peaks through. It weasels its way into their brain and takes up residence. Slowly, as the conversation continues and dwindles, the thought begins to rise to the top. Both girls think about how the other has lived a life without them for the last five years. They have been apart, but now that they're back it's like they were never separated.

_'But we_ were _apart. And she has done_ so much _without me. Do I even fit into her life anymore?'_

* * *

After nearly an hour ride, the girls disembark the mongoose lizard. They have arrived at Omashu at last. They stretch, fix their clothes, and remove their goggles, leaving them with the lizard. They walk side by side to the gate, still making idle chit chat. Ty Lee knows this will end soon and tries to wrap it up.

"You know, I have to say, I feel like I met a whole new Azula on this trip. I'm glad we had to share a ride."

"Well that's ridiculous, Ty Lee. I've always been me, there is no 'new' version."

Although this is technically a critique, Ty Lee still smiles. She goes on, "I feel like I could talk to you forever about all of your adventures over the years. Maybe when this is all over, we can do some more of that? Just run away, the two of us?"

Azula scoffs at this. "It's hard for me to imagine what life will be like when this is over."

They are a few feet from the gate now. Ty Lee chases the dragon still. "Oh come on! Just imagine it with me for a second."

Azula doesn't want to get into an argument. And the idea of going somewhere with Ty Lee does sound nice. She concedes, "I don't know. Maybe we _could_ go off somewhere together."

They stop at the gate and Ty Lee chimes in, "Let's do it! Let's go on a vacation, just the two of us. Anywhere you want."

Azula scoffs, but hides a smile. She replies, "Sounds perfect."

The pair pass through security at the gate and upon arrival, they are greeted by a royal procession. Word had traveled via War Hawk from Lieutenant Colonel Ishizu that they were headed to Omashu. He was trying whatever he could to earn back some respect. Therefore, the palanquin was brought to the gate to await the Crown Princess.

Knowing it would be considered crass to turn them away, Azula enters. Ty Lee explains that she will walk beside it, to which Azula rebuffs her.

"Nonsense, Ty Lee, it is far too long of a walk to go it alone. You shall join me until we draw closer."

Ty Lee cocks her head to the side and softly replies, "I live to serve, Princess."

She enters the palanquin and the curtains are drawn shut. They are hoisted off the ground by the combined efforts of the firebending soldiers and carried forward. Ty Lee has never sat in one before, they are reserved for only the most regal. It is decadent and she doesn't care for it. What she does care for is continued time with Azula in a very limited space.

Inviting her into the palanquin is another example, to Ty Lee, of why she had a crush on Azula as a child. Why she may still have a crush on her now. Azula makes her feel seen; makes her feel like she matters. Ty Lee _does_ matter to Azula.

Some time passes. They sit in either comfortable silence or make chit chat about the city. As they draw close to their destination, Ty Lee begs a question.

"Alright, Azula. Big moment. Do you think Mai will agree to join us?"

Azula admits, "I'm not sure. Mai lacks conviction, so I'd be surprised if she makes a quick decision."

"She did tend to not care about anything, as I recall."

"Indeed. If you don't have opinions that you care about and stand by, then you're just going to float through life as poison to everyone who cares about anything."

Ty Lee looks away from the slowly passing city. She stares into the gold of Azula's eyes. The Princess doesn't look at her, she stares out into the distance but continues, "You're not placating _anyone_ ; you're annoying _everyone_."

Ty Lee nods absentmindedly. She doesn't say anything but listens intently. Somehow she feels that this is the most important thing that Azula has said to her all day. Azula reflects on all that's happened to her over the years with the military and her specialized training.

She finally looks back at Ty Lee. She tells the grey-brown eyed girl, "I think the most important thing I've learned over the years is that when an important moment comes, you can not hesitate. You have to attack it with conviction."

This sticks with the brunette. It is planted in her mind and grows roots in her thoughts. Ty Lee reflects on all that's happened to her over the years with the circus and leaving home and all the things she's learned about the world. She offers, "I think the most important thing I've learned over the years is that I love to love."

Now it is Azula who takes account of the moment. She pushes all of her own thoughts away and focuses on what Ty Lee says.

"In the circus people could love whoever they want." She pulls her eyes away and looks out at the city as she prepares for this next part. She is not so bold as to stare directly at the Crown Princess as she stays, "Boys could love boys and girls could love girls."

The image of Azula's mother flashes to mind. She remembers a sunset conversation in the Royal Garden. The memory washes over Azula like a bucket of water, putting out a flame inside of her.

"Well, that's preposterous, Ty Lee. They could be put to death for that kind of thing."

This cuts Ty Lee to her core.

Azula repeats the words that reverberate in her mind, "In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys."

In Ty Lee's mind, it almost seems like Azula says this as if she wants the words to hurt. Ty Lee listens, but she doesn't really hear them. Just as Azula had rejected the notion entirely, so too does Ty Lee to the alternative presented.

The brunette smiles meekly and says, "Well, we're almost there now."

She doesn't look at Azula as she says this. She looks anywhere else. "I've been gone from the Capital a while, but I do believe it would still be considered improper for me to be found riding alongside you in the palanquin."

Azula isn't sure what's happened. She isn't sure what she's said or what's been done. She doesn't want Ty Lee to get out, but she knows she's right. Apprehensively she replies, "I suppose you're right."

They are put down a moment and Ty Lee exits. She walks beside it as they finished the last little bit to the rendezvous. In those last few moments of solitude, Azula thinks.

She thinks about how she has ruined a great thing with her off-putting personality. She thinks about how she has scared people off her entire life. She thinks about Ty Lee and for the first time she thinks that maybe the girl was wrong to come along. She thinks that maybe _she_ was wrong to ask her to come along in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "Ship to Wreck" by Florence + The Machine.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	4. The End of the Fire Nation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty Lee teaches Azula something new. Mai sees a bird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**The End of the Fire Nation**

Azula finds herself alone. She is back in the Fire Nation and she knows this place from somewhere. In the capital, near the palace. She knows this place. Someone is kneeling before her. Hands bound behind their back, a gag wrapped around their head to prevent them from yelling. Azula looks up and the sky is washed in a red-orange flame. Everything as far as the eye can see is fire.

She looks back down and now she holds a sword in a scabbard. She stares down at it as someone tries to talk to her. She unsheathes the sword. She looks down at the ornate handle. There is something written on the blade, but she can't make it out. The words are blurred out, as if they were some long-forgotten memory.

Azula doesn't control herself. She steps up to the hostage in front of her. The figure who spoke to her earlier now stands above the kneeling traitor. She carefully lays the blade on their shoulder, right beside the stranger's neck. She stares down at her hands, holding the blade. They shake ever so slightly. Azula opens her mouth and speaks, but she can't hear herself. It's like she's speaking underwater. All she can make out are the last few words.

"-neither is this."

She summons all of her courage.

She lifts the blade on high.

Time slows to a halt.

For a moment the blade glistens, the burning sky reflecting off of it.

She swings the sword down.

_Swip!_

The blade rips through flesh and keeps going, cleanly through. It cuts through the base of the neck. They're dead before their head hits ground.

_Thud!_

Blood sprays and splashes onto Azula's face and armor.

Before she knows what is happening, dark figures appear and race towards her. She quickly discards the sword and begins a barrage of fire blasts and attacks. Each assailant goes up in a puff of smoke and disappears into thin air. The smoke builds and builds all around her until she is in a deep fog. Blood rains down upon her despite there being no bodies.

She realizes that she can not see out of the fog. She throws a flame outward and it disappears from view instantly. The fog draws nearer, closing in on her.

_Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat._

The soft clap of feet nearby tell her that someone is close. She spins in place and she sees a figure approaching through the mist. Azula makes out their features as they get close. They are short and stout. They walk deliberately. Emerging from the circle of fog is an old man with white hair and his arms crossed across his chest.

"Uncle Iroh?"

He does not smile. He does not welcome her. He simply stares at her with a look of disappointment. Of rage. When he finally speaks, his voice is filled with venom.

"You will be the end of the Fire Nation as we know it."

Azula stands slacken. His words echo through the fog as if they stood in a massive cathedral. They burn into her mind.

He narrows his eyes. "It is your destiny, Azula, to fall."

_'No!'_

"Shut up." Azula tells the figure.

She throws her fist up and a jet of flame flies at her uncle. Like all of the others he is gone with the flame. She believes she is alone but she is wrong. Another appears behind her. A taller man, with black hair and a goatee. She doesn't see them until they speak.

"Your shame has burned us down." Ozai says.

Azula turns quickly on spot and is confronted by her father. He shares the same look of disgust and rage as her uncle.

"How dare you!"

"F-father. Please. What do you mean?" She asks, the fear present in her voice.

"I never expected this from you. What I don't understand is why? Why would you do it? You know the consequences."

Fear runs rampant in the girl. She doesn't know what he means, but the feeling in her stomach tells her something. Tells her she _does_ know what he means. The anger rises in her to match his. She throws a fireball at the vision.

"Shut up!"

_Huff huff… huff… huff_

Azula is sweating. She is exhausted. She is terrified. She never sees the woman behind her.

"Look at you. Look at all you've become."

She quickly spins again and is greeted by the vision of her mother. She gives her the same look as the others.

"Not you, too." Azula says.

Ursa smiles at her. She tells her, "I wondered when we would meet again. You have _truly_ become the monster. I have never been more proud."

Azula's eyes sting. She holds her hand up and a ball of flame builds. Ursa looks past it and right into the gold of Azula's eyes.

"But remember: Monsters are only made so they can be _killed_!"

"SHUT UP!"

The fire blast overwhelms the woman. Like the others she disappears into nothing but smoke. Azula stands and stares out. She is never alone.

"Azula."

She turns quickly but this time the sight brings her not rage, but worry. Standing a few feet away is a boy, with black hair and a burn mark on his face.

"Zuko?"

He does not share their look of disappointment or anger. He wears one of compassion. He extends his hand towards her and offers it. He tells her, "It doesn't have to end this way, Azula."

Azula puts her fist up in a defensive maneuver. She holds it at the ready, but steps towards him. She is unsure of what to do. She wants to lower her guard. She wants to take his hand in hers. She does not want to fight her brother. She wants to walk beside him.

Suddenly, the ground beneath her quakes. She almost loses her footing, but regains it. She feels herself rising up. A pillar of the earth lifts her into the sky, slowly. She looks down at him as she rises above.

He shouts up to her, "You don't have to fall!"

She peaks over the edge and shouts back, "Fall? I'm the one rising! You're the one falling!"

As she ascends, he quickly disappears from view. The pillar beneath moving quicker until it is ascending at an alarming rate. She falls to her knees, as the pillar climbs higher and higher. It rises to dizzying heights, so high until she's in the clouds.

The pillar stops and Azula is among the stars. She sees something on the ground beside her. It is the same ornate handle from earlier. The sword she had discarded had found its way back to her. She picks it up as she stands to her full height.

She stands above the clouds and faces the moon. It's pale yellow light glows down upon her. She can almost touch it, but it's just beyond her reach.

_Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat._

Azula hears it from behind. She tightens her grip around the sword and prepares to fight again. She spins in place and raises the sword up high!

Standing with her amongst the clouds as a child of the moon is Ty Lee. The soft eyed brunette does not move, does not react. If Azula is to swing the sword, then Ty Lee will take it. She simply stands and stares at the girl.

Crown Princess Azula of the Fire Nation stands before Ty Lee. Her armor is soaked by the blood of her enemies and there's a derangement in her eyes. She lowers the sword to eye level and keeps it pointed at the brunette.

She doesn't mean to but she raises it up to Ty Lee's head. Her arms shake, she is nervous and isn't sure if she should attack or not. She gets closer and now slowly places it to rest on Ty Lee's shoulders. The brunette has a longing in her eyes. She does not want to die. She wants to live. She steps towards Azula slowly, raising her hands up delicately until she pulls Azula into a hug.

The blood disappears. The sword disappears. The armor disappears. Azula stands still as Ty Lee wraps her arms around her. Azula feels the sting in her eyes again. She can not stop herself. She throws her arms up and envelopes Ty Lee in a tight embrace.

After a second of enjoying the moment, they pull their hug apart. They still stand and hold on another, but they both lean back and look into one another's eyes. Azula wants to stay in this place forever. She could die looking into these eyes.

Ty Lee speaks softly, telling her, "This is your destiny, Azula."

_Clink! Clink!_

Suddenly each of Azula's arms are chained up. Before she can react they are pulled away from her body. She is pulled out of Ty Lee's arms. She struggles against their bindings but the chains wrap around her arms and she falls to her knees. She kneels before the girl.

Looking up, desperation in her eyes, desperation in her voice, she asks, "Ty Lee?"

The brunette leans down. She raises a hand and moves a single strand of black hair out of Azula's face and tucks it behind her ear. Her hand lingers and cups the side of her face.

"You will be the end of the Fire Nation as we know."

"Ty Lee! Help me! TY LEE!"

_Clink!_

A new chain rises up and wraps around her neck. It strangles her and prevents her from begging for help. She loses oxygen quickly and her vision fades. The girl's eyes attract Azula's attention. She leans in until they are nose to nose.

Ty Lee whispers to her, "Now… _fall_."

Azula is retched from the sky. She plummets below, arms tied behind her, chain strangling the life from her body. She looks up and the last thing she sees are the brown-grey eyes of Ty Lee, until even those fade to black.

From out of the black, Azula sits up in bed quickly. She takes quick, successive breaths.

_Huff huff… huff huff… huff huff… huff_

She feels her clothes sticking tightly to her skin, and her hair is matted against her neck and back. She looks around cautiously. Mai and Ty Lee sleep on the ground nearby. She is not falling from the sky. She is alone.

She has always been alone.

* * *

Azula finally rolls out of bed. After her nightmare there wasn't much sleep to be had for the young girl. She tossed and turned over and for a bit, but nothing would do. Each time she closed her eyes she felt like she was falling. She saw Ty Lee's face fading through the clouds as she plummeted. Each time she would open her eyes to the dark of night. The stars and the moon shining down upon her.

_'Three nights in a row without much sleep. Can't make a habit of that.'_

Azula takes the extra time in the morning to get in some fire bending practice. She steps away from the camp to not wake her friends. She finds an open field where she can stretch and workout. From this spot, she can see the walls of New Ozai. A mixture of feelings run through her, but mostly she is frustrated and angry. She had come face-to-face with the real, living, breathing Avatar. All of the searching, all of the rumors, and it was luck that had brought her to fight him.

_'And I couldn't finish the job.'_

The last Airbender had eluded her and escaped. She took some solace in recognizing that he didn't even have the gall to face her head-on, but simply ran away from the fight. Should she ever get the chance, she would surely be his undoing.

After over an hour of working out her frustrations, and feeling good about her technique, Azula returns to the camp. As she walks though, the feeling doesn't leave her. When she closes her eyes, she still sees the clouds. Still sees herself falling.

_'How do I work this out of my system?'_

Neither girl is sleeping anymore, but only Ty Lee is visible. Mai's bed is simply empty.

Ty Lee sits on the ground, meditating, when she hears another draw close. She opens her eyes and sees Azula approaching. She chirps, "There you are! We were wondering where you went?"

Ty Lee watches as Azula climbs up an incline towards her. With the sun rising behind her and Azula dripping with sweat, Ty Lee unconsciously connects the two in her mind. To the young girl, Azula is like the sun; a rising ball of power, passion, and flame.

Her aura glows a deep magenta, but as she approaches it changes. Ty Lee isn't sure if it is moving closer to purple or indigo.

"I couldn't sleep, so I went to get some practice in."

"Did it help?"

"Not at all. Where's Mai?"

"She was off to feed the mongoose lizards. You missed her by barely a minute. May I make a suggestion, Princess?"

"Concerning what?"

"Your lack of sleep. Maybe I can help you with that?"

"I'll entertain you." Azula replies, although she hides her apprehension.

"May I teach you some meditation techniques? They could help you fall asleep in the future."

Azula weighs this for a second. The eagerness in Ty Lee's eyes makes it hard to reject. It did strike Azula odd that the girl she can't get out of her mind is the same one who is trying to help her right now.

"Sure, it can't hurt."

_'Wait really?'_

"Excellent! Here, sit down across from me!"

Azula takes her place on the plot of grass directly in front of Ty Lee. She sits cross legged. Ty Lee reaches forward and reaches for her hand, but she pulls it away first.

"Azula, you have to make the hand gestures."

"Okay, just don't touch me." Azula replies.

Ty Lee nods in response, but is confused internally. They had just hugged and held hands two days before. She brushes this aside, excitement over teaching about meditation overcoming her.

"Alright, well, just mimic what I do. Hopefully we can sooth out whatever is ailing you."

Ty Lee positions her hands in front of her, her pointing fingers and thumbs touching to form a small circle. She sits up perfectly straight. She smiles at the Princess. Azula attempts to copy the pose.

"Alright, so we're going to take deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth. And we're going to close our eyes. We're going to imagine the things that are weighting us down, and let them run through us like a river. Are you ready, Azula?"

Azula sits in apprehension. She doesn't want to ask the question, so she buries it. She wants to keep her eyes open, but she doesn't want to admit that closing them was a problem.

"Okay."

Azula sits up straight and takes a deep breath. Cautiously, her eyelids close. A moment passes with nothing. She believes she is safe. She releases the breath through the mouth.

_Huff…_

Ty Lee's face appears before her, looking down on her with sad eyes. She rapidly falls from the sky and the clouds envelope the face. She plummets to earth, arms tied, a noose around her neck.

Ty Lee can sense Azula's aura changing rapidly. It goes to a dark red. She senses that Azula's panic is spiking. She has to do something.

"Breath, Azula. Breath. Take that pain and let it wash over you. Let it run through you."

The voice comes to her as Azula falls through the darkness. It speaks to her calmly and with resolve. _'Let it run through you.'_

She sucks a deep breath in through the nose. And out through the mouth.

_Huff…_

The images fade to grey. The bindings evaporate. She is light as a feather, floating down like leaves from a vine. She breathes in through the nose. And out through the mouth.

_Huff…_

She feels the feeling in her chest flush out. It runs through her like a pale of water poured out over her head. She opens her eyes and Ty Lee does the same.

She breathes naturally now and a smile dawns on the brunette's face. She sees it happening. Her aura slides into a grey color. It doesn't stick to any one direction but this neutral state. Excitedly she asks, "Did it work?"

Azula doesn't move, "Perhaps it did. A little."

Ty Lee is so pleased to have helped her Princess, she wants to press onward. "You know, if you ever want to meditate with me, or learn more I'll be happy to teach you!"

"I hardly see how that will be necessary, Ty Lee."

"Well, there are other, more expressive ways to smooth out your aura. I just find meditation to be the most effective."

Azula stills believes that aura and meditation are silly, but she has to admit to herself that it did help a bit. She can't help but think that Ty Lee is very smart for coming up with these ways to calm herself.

"So, do you want to tell me what caused you such trouble?" The former circus performer asks.

Azula most assuredly does not want to get into the specifics so she simply replies, "A bad dream."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Very well, Princess."

Azula finally abandons the charade and exits the meditation pose. She stretches her leg out in front her and leans back. A question comes to mind, "Tell me, Ty Lee, what do you dream of?"

Ty Lee exits her meditation pose as well at this. She reflects for a moment and gathers herself. She stares out at the rising sun and says, "I dream of home."

"Home? At the Capital?"

"No," Ty Lee replies. The memories of her life at the capital are not the type to fill her soul with warmth. "My _someday_ home. Where I can stop running and settle down with someone and be happy."

Azula stretches both legs out now on the ground and sits up properly, looking at her friend. Ty Lee had always had an imagination. Others had seen it as a flaw and claimed it was 'overactive.' Azula, on the other hand, was often enthralled by where the young brunette's mind took her. She found it all very interesting, and this seemed like the next in that line of daydreaming.

"You will make the most wonderful wife in your someday home."

Ty Lee turns away from the sunrise and looks directly at the girl sitting across from her. "As will you, Azula."

Azula knows that Ty Lee is looking at her. She believes she's being sincere. She looks away all the same. "Your future husband will be very lucky."

Now Ty Lee is the one who looks away. She stares at the horizon and says, "May we all be so lucky."

"Tell me, Ty Lee, what do you imagine your 'home' will be like?"

Ty Lee scoffs at this. "I'm not sure, the war makes it hard to see it really happening."

"Well, when the war is over and we have emerged victorious."

A lump catches in her throat. She turns to her friend with troubled eyes. "Can I be honest with you?"

A memory from a royal garden long ago comes to mind. She asks, "Would you lie to your Princess?"

"Of course not."

"Then speak."

Ty Lee has imagined her home so much it feels more like a memory. She releases it to her closest friend, looking into her golden eyes while speaking.

"I imagine a home somewhere in the Earth Kingdom. Somewhere here I can experience all four seasons. We would have a little picket fence, off away from any other people or potential intruders. There's a lemon tree by the window, a garden in the back, and the front door would be painted red."

Azula nods along as she explains all of this. It is all very specific. She imagines it so vividly herself. She can see it as well. It is more real to her than the sun rising above the hills. Hearing it from her friend, something so intimate and detailed, it feels like a secret they now share.

_'Ty Lee's future home seems so quaint and peaceful. It sounds wonderful.'_

Azula thinks about how she would figure into that future. How she could see herself settling down later in life. She already knows the answer though. She could never be there with Ty Lee. She is royalty. Her home is not to be in some far off land along the countryside in the Earth Kingdom. Hers is the throne.

_Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat._

Mai approaches from the rear. They both stare out at the rising sun. Cooly Azula replies, "I could never see myself doing that."

Ty Lee gulps again. She looks in surprise at her friend. She has spilled her heart for the girl and has been rejected.

Azula admits, almost off-handedly, "I dream of being the Fire Lord someday. It's what I deserve. It's everything I've ever wanted."

She gets up and moves to greet Mai. Ty Lee watches from the ground as the Crown Princess strides off. Ty Lee watches her grey aura explode into a mahogany color. It flames about like she's on fire herself. Ty Lee's very own girl on fire.

* * *

_FLOOM_

Azula explodes a fireball onto some drywood and ignites the campfire. She throws another at it.

_FLOOM_

The fire roars larger but dims quickly.

"Agni!" She shouts into the night sky.

"Azula, calm down." Mai yells at her.

"I had him. Had him right there. And then Zuko and Iroh had to go and-"

She stops and stares down at the flame, the blue glow reflecting off of her eyes. The fury builds within, reaching higher into the air than the fire itself. She had done it. She had cornered the Avatar. She had effectively beaten him. He was hers to finish.

_'Then it all went up in smoke!'_

It has been a full lunar cycle since their failed attempt to fight the Avatar in New Ozai. The full moon that had shown down upon them that night now shown down upon them again. Azula has been getting less and less sleep. She goes to bed later, wakes up earlier. When consciousness fades, she is woken by the same nightmares that had disturbed her that first night. Those dreams telling her that she will fall. That it is her destiny.

Anymore, she is exhausted while trying to fall asleep. She thinks about their loss at New Ozai, and now she will think about this loss too. The burden to bring Zuko and Iroh home weighs on her shoulder. Killing the Avatar and his cronies has become a new goal that she is incapable of accomplishing. All of her motives have been burning down. Her inspiration dries up. Her motivation slows down with each passing day.

The only light in the dark is the interspersed time she has gotten to spend with Mai and Ty Lee. She had recruited her friends so she could count on them to work with her, to be quick and agile. They had proven themselves in battle, but more importantly they had proven themselves as loyal companions. The nights have been long, and having them around has made things easier. They make jokes and laugh, and that laughter every night rings like massive bells in an empty town.

Over the last month or so, her ears had particularly become tuned-in to Ty Lee's laugh. The girl laughs at everything. She smiles constantly. Azula can not fathom how she is always so positive, always so happy. How she grinned in the face of defeat. How she remained optimistic despite the odds. Azula has learned everything about Ty Lee in the last month. When she wakes, her routines, how often she bathes, what she does before bed, what she dreams about, what she wishes for, what she smells like in the morning.

' _Don't think about all of that.'_

They had devised the plan to chase the sky bison over several weeks and had gone to great lengths to procure the tank-train. It was a perfect plan that was working every step of the way, until the finish line. Zuko, Iroh, and the Avatar, all in the same place, with Azula there too. It was everything she had wanted and needed.

' _And it slipped through my fingers.'_

Mai had asked only a few questions about Zuko, but Ty Lee could tell she wants to know more. She had seen her aura change, if only for a moment, when asking and when Azula spoke about him. The entire time, since they found her at Omashu, the girl had sat in a gray aura. For a moment it had turned blue, before fading back. Azula had summarily dismissed the questions and any concern. Ty Lee wishes that Azula had been more keen on the change in Mai.

' _I wish she knew Mai as well as she knew me.'_

The girls sit around the campfire, haven already ate their dinner, and sulk. They all swim in their thoughts and think about how they could have done things different. Azula replays the sparring in her mind. Mai contemplates if she had been more decisive with her knife tosses. Ty Lee thinks about the cute boy and hitting him on the head. She looks down at her knuckle and rubs it again.

Mai stares up at the night sky and spots a familiar sight. She dawns the semblance of a smile and turns to the brunette with a ponytail braid. "Hey Ty Lee," she says and waits for eye contact. Once she gets it her eyes look upwards. "It's out tonight."

"Oh is it?" Ty Lee shouts and turns to look up as well.

Concern and confusion overcome Azula. She looks up as well but doesn't see anything. She asks, "What is out?"

A sense of wonder and excitement exudes from Ty Lee's voice, "Ruki's Bird!"

As it turns out, Azula hasn't learned _everything_ about Ty Lee. Not yet, at least.

"Ruki's Bird?"

Mai explains, "It's a set of stars, a constellation, that forms in the sky. It's probably there every night but we can't always see it. It's usually around full moon's when it's most visible."

"And what does it mean?"

Ty Lee is still searching while Mai explains further, "When this happens, she always gets a vision of her dream guy."

Ty Lee didn't see it happen because she was looking for the stars, but she felt something momentarily. A dramatic shift in aura. She looks down for a second and nothing has changed. She had missed as Azula's aura had gone to a red-orange color for a moment after hearing about Ty Lee's 'dream guy.'

"Ah, so Ty Lee sees some stars and has some visions. Sounds like she's drinking cactus juice, to me."

Mai smirks at this, and Azula wears a shit eating grin. Ty Lee stands and wanders over towards Mai, still searching.

Azula asks, "How do I not know about this?"

Ty Lee tries to explain, but she's still searching, wandering aimlessly around where Mai sits. "It doesn't happen often. It just happens…"

Mai still sees it clearly and adds, "I've only seen it twice so far and the other times you were off getting food or firewood or something or other. I guess I didn't realize you had missed it either time."

"There it is!" Ty Lee exclaims finally.

"Well, I must see this as well. I demand that you show me."

Mai stands up and motions to her to come stand beside her, "Here, I'll point it out to you."

Azula crosses over to her friend and stands with Mai right behind her. Mai raises her right pointing fingers up and points into the sky.

"Alright, you see that star I'm pointing to? It's whiter than the other ones, that are golden?"

After her eyes take a second to scan, she finds it. "Found it."

"Okay, perfect, so that star is the beak of the bird. So it's always easy to find that one first and then trace either way to get around. You go from there to that pale gold one, to that normal one, to this one, and-"

Mai goes on, in total there are 18 stars that connect the bird's outline. After seeing it for the first time, though, Azula can't unsee it. It's so plainly right there, sitting amongst the stars.

"Excellent, I've found it as well. But I have to ask, Ty Lee, why a bird?"

Ty Lee frowns a bit. She knows the answer but Mai hadn't asked before. Both girls turn away from the stars and look down at the brunette. She looks up at them, a distant and vacant look in her eyes. She raises her eyebrows at them a moment and then answers, "Birds are free."

She pauses for a beat before going on. "They can go anywhere they want. Up and up and up and never come back. They can leave the Fire Nation, or the Earth Kingdom. They can go to the North or South Poles. They can visit the highest air temples. It doesn't matter. It can fly off into the twilight, or the sunrise. Nothing can stop them."

Ty Lee doesn't look at either of them anymore. Her eyes peel upwards and she takes the bird in instead. Mai and Azula exchange a glance. Mai asks her, "Do you wish that could be you?"

Ty Lee sighs. She gulps. She replies, "Sometimes, when everything is heavy. I wonder what it would be like to be weightless. To soar through the air and feel the touch of the sun on my wingtips."

Mai again is the one brave enough to ask, "Is that why you ran away to the circus?"

Ty Lee chews on the bottom corner of her lips. She reluctantly replies, "No. I… don't want to talk about why I left for the circus."

Azula nods knowingly, reflecting on their conversation from the first day, when they rode for New Ozai. With this last answer, Ty Lee sits down on the ground and looks up at Ruki's Bird. She feels it's wonder rushing through her veins.

Mai sits back down in her original spot. Azula sits down on the ground at Mai's feet. They had started by sitting at the fire all spaced out, and now they all congregate in the same space to stargaze together. There is calm for just a moment as they all look up. Azula retraces the bird again and again. She found it so odd that for the last four weeks she would've missed this.

Mai is racking her brain, trying to think of what she wants to ask Ty Lee. Azula doesn't know exactly how this works yet, but Ty Lee will only answer one question. It's like a game to Mai, and she never beats Azula at anything. Feeling rushed by Azula's nonexistent pressure, Mai settles on a question she could've definitely worded better.

"Alright, Ty Lee, I know what I want to ask."

Ty Lee looks at Mai. The shadows of the flames leap and skip. The shadows dance across the faces of her friends. She nods at her friend and closes her eyes. Mai narrows her eyes and asks, "Now, you've had like 10 boyfriends already, right? Including more than one at a time?"

Azula was vaguely aware of this but the specifics have eluded her thus far. She's not sure she wants to know the details and thus hasn't asked for any of them. Ty Lee blushes slightly but keeps her eyes closed. She answers, "Something like that, yes."

Mai asks, "So out of all of them, who do you think will end up being the love of your life?"

Ty Lee let's the thoughts flow through her. From her stomach to her chest, to her head, to her mouth she calmly answers, "I don't think the love of my life has arrived yet."

This answer dwindles in the air. Azula raises her eyebrows at the whole show of it. Mai nods, with a look on her face that was a mixture of confusion and acceptance. Ty Lee opens her eyes right into looking at Ruki's Bird. "But I already know that I love them… I've loved them my entire life."

Skepticism runs high at this and Mai knifes at her, "But you haven't even met him yet? How can you love him your _entire_ life if you haven't met him yet?"

Ty Lee doesn't look down. She keeps staring at Ruki's Bird. Her aura naturally slips into a soft pink. She smiles brightly and replies, "It's the idea of them. That they could someday wake up and realize they love me too."

Azula knee-jerk reacts by asking, "When do you think they'll arrive?"

Ty Lee looks right at Azula. Before she can say anything Mai chimes in, "Nu-uh, Azula. She only answers _one_ question. So she won't tell us, even if she knows the answer."

Azula looks in shock and disgust at Mai. "She what?"

Ty Lee giggles and replies, "It's true! Only one question for each sighting of Ruki's Bird."

Miffed, Azula replies, "Well that's ridiculous. The whole thing!"

Both girls laugh at her, and the combined laughter quells Azula's annoyance. The flame simmers. She wants to know more. She wants to ask Ty Lee about this _dream boy_. She wants to understand and talk about it. She wants to know how Ty Lee feels. She wants to know how Ty Lee could love a boy. It was something that Azula wishes she could feel. She has never had any luck with boys. They all treat her like she's crazy or mad.

The girls continue through their night of nonsense and chatter. The night is long and full of laughter. It is mostly Ty Lee who laughs, sometimes Azula, and occasionally even Mai can't suppress the giggles. They share a waterskin and split some sweets they had gathered from a local town. By the light of the moon they look for new constellations. They daydream about their lives when they are free from the war.

As she lies in bed and stares up at the Moon and Ruki's Bird, Azula thinks about the day. It had been such a disaster, yet her friends rescued it at the close. Her next course of action was to make for the closest encampment near Ba Sing Se, where an ongoing operation involving some sort of "drill" was being organized. Perhaps that trip would bear more fruitful gains.

_'And perhaps along the way we'll see Ruki's Bird again.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "New Constellations" by Ryn Weaver.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.


	5. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mai feels lighter. Ty Lee unzips a dress. Azula talks about her childhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Release**

The only sound made is the soft crunch of their feet against the branches and leaves. Three teenage girls slump their way through the fading light and thick shadows of a forest. Their footsteps are heavy and riddled with self-doubt. For two of the three, their steps are crusted in a mud-like substance. The clouds high up above gather in anticipation of a coming storm.

Despite the sky and clouds changing and reforming, one of the girls is focused on the ground. She feels and watches the others' auras. One hasn't shifted out of its grayness. The other's is simmering. It's been charcoal from the moment they walked away from the drill.

_'I'm worried it's going to turn black any second now.'_

There has been no yelling. No blame game. No finger pointing. Yet that somehow makes it worse. Almost from the moment they started this trip home, nothing has been said. When Azula is calm and collected, that is when she can be at her worst. She spends so much time in her own head. Time spent contemplating, devising, scheming. The silence that rains down upon them is deafening.

Ty Lee will have none of it any longer. A thought has been slowly building and she finally feels it spilling out. Azula walks in front of both of them by several paces. Softly she whispers to the girl striding beside her, "I have an idea. Just go with it."

Azula swears she heard something over the snapping twigs. She peaks over her shoulder a moment but neither girl behind her does or says anything. Perhaps it was just the trees or something else. She turns back to face forward.

When she turns away, Mai looks sideways at the brunette beside her. She looks at her oddly but eventually nods in acceptance. Ty Lee nods back and summons her courage. She doesn't mean to shout but she does anyway, "Princess Azula!"

The raggedy 14 year old girl stops in her tracks. She is not dripping anymore, but nonetheless she feels lethargic. She turns and looks back at the two girls behind her. Ty Lee stands with her hands fidgeting. She does not look directly at Azula, but rather off to the side.

She speaks to the trees, "Before we go back to the camp, I have something I think we should all do instead."

Exasperated, Azula replies with raised eyebrows, "More important than getting out of these slurry soaked clothes?"

"Not really a problem for me, personally." Mai whispers.

Azula turns her head to the side, "I'm sorry, what?"

She walks back to them and stands toe-to-toe with the dark haired girl. They stare daggers into one another, but neither says anything. Mai fiddles with a knife in her sleeve. Although she feels heavy and weighed down, Azula silently curls her fingers inward until it's just her pointer and middle fingers extending out.

For the first time in their journeying, Azula plots out her course of attack. Exactly what she will do, what she anticipates Mai will do, how she plans to counterattack. She strategizes all of this and prepares to enact it if she attacks or raises herself up in an offensive front.

_'C'mon do it. I want you to do it.'_ Azula thinks

Anxious that the two girls may start brawling, Ty Lee steps beside them and frantically waves her arms, "I just think it would be a good idea for all of us to do something to release our negative energy!"

The two girls do not look away. They continue to stare into each other's eyes. Mai thinks about how Ty Lee had asked her to 'just go with it.' She's not sure if she wants to fight Azula right now, but she is sure that she'd agreed to help the brunette. She closes her eyes, bows her head, and steps back.

"Okay, Ty Lee, let's do it."

Azula cautiously looks between one girl and the other. She had not expected Mai to stand down. She wants to fight. She wants to hit her friend.

_'Why do I want to hit her?'_

"Excellent! Now, both of you, follow me!"

Ty Lee walks off and the other two trail behind. She leads them on for a minute or two, her path deliberate, her steps certain. They follow without asking questions, Azula still thinking about her plot against Mai. Fighting her friend is not something she wants to do. But after losses at her recent fights with the Avatar, there is a growing sense of self-doubt. Reestablishing herself as the leader may be in order.

Ty Lee leads them off the beaten path, down a sloping slant, driving further into the forest, dark and deep. Finally, she emerges through a thick of trees. Azula and Mai right behind her, the two followers stop at the edge of the forest. Ty Lee walks out into the clearing.

She extends her arms out wide and above her. She spins in a circle momentarily. She basks in the moment, while the slurry bakes further into her clothes. She is exactly within her element at this point. If the sky was not overcast and blocking the sun, she would probably find her aura to be pink. As it stands she's happy with it's teal color.

She turns to her friends on the fringe and shouts to them, "My friend Touko taught me this while we were in the circus together!"

The girls look on from the sidelines as Ty Lee smiles and begins her process. She puts her arms at her side. She closes her eyes. She bows her head. She begins taking deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth.

Slowly her arms come up and wave upward in front of her. They move back down towards her side, then back up. She does this a few times until they stay up in front of her. She begins spinning her arms in front of her in a barrel-rolling motion. This starts slow, but builds. It gets faster and faster. Suddenly, she throws both arms towards the sky. Her head juts back, her eyes open wide.

"Ahhhh!" She screams.

She sighs deeply, then turns excitedly to her friends. They stare in wild bewilderment and confusion.

Azula shouts, "Ty Lee, have you lost your Agni damn mind? Because I will help you find it."

Ty Lee giggles at Azula's joke and shouts back, "This is a different way to smooth over your aura. She used to call it 'screeching into the nothing.' "

Azula crosses her arms across her chest, a flabbergasted look on her face. " _How_ will this help us capture the Avatar, or Ba Sing Se for that matter?"

"Just try it out for yourself!" Ty Lee implores them.

_'Just got with it.'_

The reminder echoes in her mind. She _had_ agreed to help with the idea. Backing out now felt disingenuous. Mai steps forward.

"Alright, I'll give it a try."

_'Have they_ both _lost their minds?'_

Azula watches slack jawed as Mai willingly walks out towards Ty Lee. She moves out about twenty feet and stops beside the brunette. Azula can't hear them when they stand so close together. Ty Lee gives her some general tips, but then skips away and comes back towards Azula.

Mai stands out in the middle of nowhere. She takes deep breaths, then mimics the motions that Ty Lee did with her hands. The flow up in front of her, until finally she copies the barrel-rolling motion. She throws them up above her head and shouts.

"Ahhh."

It is the tiniest of yells. Azula stares out at her dumb founded, her hands on her hips. Ty Lee stands beside her with a massive smile on her face, her hands clutch together in front of her. Mai slowly puts her hands down, then turns to look at her friends.

Slowly she says, "That… _did_ help?"

Ty Lee jumps for joy. Without missing a beat Azula asks, "What are we doing here?"

Mai strides back towards them and says, "I don't know, Azula. It helped though. I feel… lighter?"

"Alright, Azula! Now it's your turn!" Ty Lee tells her, putting a hand on her back and lightly pushing her forward.

Azula steps away and Mai passes her. She walks out into the middle of the clearing. She looks up and all around her, at the trees, the birds, and the sky. She takes it all in. Despite the wonder of nature, she only thinks about how heavy her clothes feel. Soaked in the slurry. How exhausted she is from the sleep she hasn't been getting for months now. Weighed down by the defeat. Her arms slump to her side, her shoulders slacking.

"Alright, Azula, it's kind of like meditating! Do you want any help?"

"No." She calls back. Azula recalls the lesson before on meditation.

_'How did it go again? In through the nose, out through the mouth. Imagine the pain and let it run over me like a river. Was that it? Oh screw it, I'll just yell something. Not like they'll know anyway, and this isn't helping whatsoever.'_

She quickly flails her arms in front of her. She copies the rolling motion, then throws them up over her head and yells.

"Ahh!"

Ty Lee whispers to Mai, "She didn't even try."

"Can't make her."

Urgently now Ty Lee says, "But it'll help her!"

With that she steps away from her friend and out towards Azula. Mai tries to whisper but mostly just says, "Can't force her to do it, Ty Lee."

Azula wants to walk away. She is the Crown Princess. What she says, goes. She looks back at her brunette friend charging towards her. She sees the angry look on her face. She can sense the disappointment. She could summarily dismiss the girl. Strip of her everything that belongs to her. Azula is well within that right as the Princess. Ty Lee has no place scolding her.

And yet, she doesn't move. She doesn't raise a hand to argue. She just stands there and waits.

"Azula! You need to focus!"

She stops in front of her. She huffs a short breath through her nose to signal her disappointment. Her lips pursed together, she looks into the gold of Azula's eyes. When the firebender does not retort she goes on.

"Think about the things in your life that are causing you pain. Think about things that make you upset. Think about what weighs you down. What has been _taken_ from you. Think about why you're angry."

"Ty Lee, this is ridiculous." Azula finally cuts her off.

Ty Lee reaches a hand up and touches Azula's shoulder. Azula dives into the pool of Ty Lee's grey-brown eyes. There is a desperation in them. A desire… to help.

"Please, Azula."

Azula searches those eyes for a few seconds. Now she is the one who huffs a long breath through her nose. Finally she says, "Okay."

Ty Lee smiles and it's the last thing that Azula sees as her eyes close. Ty Lee releases her grip on her shoulder. Azula stands in the darkness, in the middle of a forest, with Ty Lee at her side. She thinks about the things that Ty Lee told her to think about.

Whispering softly nearby, Ty Lee tells her, "Now… visualize the things that weigh you down. The things that cause you pain. The things that anger you."

In her mind's eye, Azula sees flashes of many things. She sees the drill in the wall. She sees the Avatar crashing down upon it, the shockwave knocking her back hundreds of yards. She sees the rundown town and her near victory. The memory cuts just before Zuko and Iroh arrive. She flashes to her adolescents. The strict militant household. The teachers who overworked her, perfected her. She flashes to her time alone with Ozai, after Zuko's banishment. How he neglected her. How he only applauded her when she did things for him. She flashes to Ursa. She sees her spending all the time in the world with Zuko. Always at a distance. Always just out of reach. Then she flashes and she sees it. A late afternoon conversation in the garden at sunset about who she can love. Azula runs away. From the moment and the memory. She sees herself now. Smug and menacing. Hulking and massive. She sees the monster.

"Do you see them?" A voice whispers to her in the dark.

Tentatively she replies, "Yes…"

The voice speaks softly again, "Can you feel them?"

All of these memories. All of this pain. It fuels her. She feels the emotions all again. She feels the rage building. She feels the fury bubbling inside of her. She wants it to spill out. It rises up and up.

More decisively this time, she answers the voice, "Yes."

"Good. Now, bring all of that anger, all of that weight, all of that pain you feel, bring it up. Lift it up from your toes and bring it up."

Azula's arms move on their own. They wave up in front of her, then move slowly back down to her side. She raises them again as she feels the weight in her body rising. Up to in front of her, then back down to her side. Up, then down. Up and down.

"Yes, Azula! You're doing it!" Ty Lee says, standing at her side. "Bring all of that weight, all of that pain, all of that anger. All of it. Bring it up to your chest."

Azula feels it rising up. It reaches her chest and she stops waving her arms at her side. They stay in front of her now and fold inward. To keep the weight at her chest, she begins spinning her arms. They move in a barrel-rolling motion and the weight remains.

Azula feels it bubbling at the surface. Threatening to spill out of her. All of her power. All of her rage. Her arms move faster. She loses herself. She forgets where she is, she forgets what she is doing, she forgets the things that cause her this pain. She only feels this moment. She only feels the weight, keeping it up, but not out. The voice whispers softly to her in the dark.

"Now… release."

Involuntarily, Azula's head shoots back. Her eyes open wide to the twilight sky. She throws her hands up above her and -

_CRACK_

_FLOOM_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Lightning explodes from Azula's hands and flies up into the sky. From her open mouth blue fire erupts in a giant flame, stretching towards the heavens. She screeches into the nothing.

"Ahh!"

_Crash!_

Ty Lee tumbles to the ground beside her, screaming as she falls. From twenty feet away, Mai looks on in shock and dismay. She does not move to protect her friend at Azula's feet, she is paralyzed to the spot. Covering her eyes to protect herself from the bright light of the fire and the lightning Ty Lee still looks up at her friend, horrified. Mai is amazed by the show of power, but terrified by it's rawness. The Firebending prodigy screeches still.

"-HHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Azula finally runs out of breath. She sucks in the air around her quickly.

_Huff…_

_CRACK_

"AHHHHHHHHHH-"

Lighting shoots out again, high into the sky. She isn't even performing any maneuvers, yet it still flies away from her body. On the ground, Ty Lee holds both her arms over her head, and lays in the fetal position at Azula's feet. She does not want to be struck by the loose lightning, or burned by wildfire.

"-HHHHHHHH!"

Azula again runs out of breath. She gulps in the air.

_Huff…_

"AHHHHH!"

This time no lighting shoots out. No fire comes still. From the side, Mai watches. From the ground, Ty Lee stands up.

_'She is in so much pain.'_

_Huff…_

"Ahhhh!"

_'She needs someone so badly.'_

Ty Lee reaches up and grabs Azula's shoulder. She is tense, her muscles strong, her pain reverberating across her entire body, making her flex all of her power.

_Huff…_

"Ahh!"

_'She needs_ me _.'_

Ty Lee pulls Azula towards her.

_Huff…_

"Ah!"

Ty Lee envelopes Azula into her arms. She holds the Princess tight against her body. She wraps her arms around her and squeezes. She can not let go of her. She can never let go. She will crush the pain with her body, if that's what it takes. From Ty Lee's eyes, tears spill out. It's not even her pain to lament, yet she still feels Azula's anguish. She feels for her friend.

_Pat! Pat! Pat! Pat!_

Mai runs out across the field and crashes into them. She doesn't care that she will be stained now with their dried slurry. She envelopes both girls in her arms. She closes her eyes and holds them. She thinks about the pain that Azula must have been feeling. She thinks about what might have caused such things. She too cries with Ty Lee. They both sniffle and snort as they embrace Azula together. Ty Lee feels the whole of their collective auras shade into a blue so bright that it could make the sky envious.

At the center of this group hug is Azula. She does not cry. She does not hug them back. She breathes deeply and stares up at the grey, overcast sky. And she feels…

_'Lighter.'_

* * *

A short while later, the girls all arrive back at the Fire Nation encampment. Azula hasn't said anything the entire rest of the way. None of them really did. It was not a long trip, but the silence amongst them, in spite of the tears spilt, somehow felt worse to Ty Lee. The sky blue aura of Azula had faded to grey, similar to Mai's. The Princess is deep in contemplation. They reach their quarters. Mai quickly changes out of her slurried clothes and then excuses herself.

"I'm not feeling well, so I'm going to lie down."

She disappears down a corridor and leaves the other two in the small, temporary bedroom. They stand in the room together but face away from one another. Azula stands beside a mirror, refusing to look into it and examine the damage to her clothes. She doesn't move, doesn't change. She just stands and stares blankly into space.

Ty Lee stands on the opposite side. She changes quickly, careful to remove the clothes and not create more of a mess. Finally, she sits on the bed, changed, and already feeling fresher. She peaks over her shoulder and sees the dark haired girl has hardly moved.

_'Don't chase the dragon.'_

Azula slowly lifts her heavy, slurry-caked arms up, behind her back. She reaches up but her range of motion is limited. She gives a half-hearted effort to push through it. Her arms fall to her side again.

_'Don't chase the dragon.'_

She tries again. She lifts her arms up, but they can't reach the zipper. She feels and hears the dried slurry cracking under her effort, but she can't quite find it. If she uses the mirror it may help, but she can't bring herself to do it. She reaches into oblivion trying to find the zipper.

_'Don't chase the dragon.'_

Her arms fall again. She stands with poor posture and slumped shoulders. She sighs heavily in defeat. Her mind swims in the day once again.

She has faced the Avatar three times now and nearly won each time. The first time he simply ran from her New Ozai. Then he was just lucky to have Zuko and the others show up. This time it had just been him and her… and she lost.

Her entire life she has heard about the legendary Avatar, and the ones that came before him. The Avatars are etched in the history books. Azula thinks about how if she can defeat him, she can write her own place in history. A tremendous honor that no one could ever take away from her. No one would ever forget Crown Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, and how she killed the Avatar, the last Airbender.

But she hasn't. She hasn't defeated him or killed him. Perhaps she can't. Perhaps she's not strong enough yet. Perhaps she'll never be strong enough. Perhaps it was like most other things in her life. Something great and grand, destined to slip through her fingers.

Azula looks down at her hands. She examines them and turns them over. Caked in slurry. Fingernails growing far too long again. Victory slipping through them. They were long and tender and fragile and thin. Just as she begins thinking about the warmth of their touch, suddenly she feels something ice cold on her shoulders and yelps.

"Ah!" She turns slightly to look for the source.

"Just-"

"Ty Lee! What are you?"

"Just, hold-"

_Zip!_

Ty Lee unzips Azula's dress. She pulls the zipper all the way down to its base and then stops.

Nothing is said for a moment. Azula feels that all of the oxygen has been sucked out the room. She doesn't move, she doesn't dare breathe. She waits for something more to happen. She almost wishes for something more to happen. A rush of blood goes to her head. A rush of emotions flow through her. She blushes a crimson red but Ty Lee never sees it. She composes herself.

"Th-thank you." She says, still facing away from her.

"Of course, Princess," she quietly replies. "I live to serve."

Ty Lee stares down at her childhood crush with sadness. She can tell that the pain has not left her. That she still carries it with her. She wishes she could take the hurt away. She wishes she could do anything to make Azula feel about herself the way that Ty Lee feels about her.

Seeing Azula in this state of disarray, Ty Lee wishes to aid her. Her eyes trail to the mirror beside them. Her hand reaches for it.

"Would you like the mirror to-"

"NO!" Azula shouts.

_Slap!_

With lightning like speed her hand reaches up and smacks Ty Lee's away from the mirror. Ty Lee stands silently and thinks about the sequence of events that have just unfurled. She makes a mental note to ask about this matter at a later time. In the meantime, she turns and makes her exit.

"I'll go find, Mai."

_'Don't chase the dragon.'_

She stops at the door, and looks back. At this angle, she can see herself and Azula's face in the mirror's reflection. Her head was still bowed, but Ty Lee could see now that her cheeks are flush.

Ty Lee feeds her temptation. She chases the dragon.

_Creak_

She closes the door behind her but leaves it open a crack. She pauses a moment and peers inside. Alone at last, her dress unzipped, Azula finally relaxes. She lifts the dress up from the waist and up over her head.

_'Don't chase the dragon!'_

Ty Lee comes to her senses and turns away. Quickly she walks away from the door. As she walks away though, a thought sticks with her.

_'For a moment I could've sworn that her aura had been… beige?'_

* * *

Azula changes quickly but stays a while in the bedroom. She reflects on her day. The failed drill operation that they'd spent weeks working on. The battle with the Avatar and his cronies. Being caked in slurry the entire, long walk back. Ty Lee and her 'screeching into the nothing.' The lightning and fire. Ty Lee and Mai holding her in that moment. Her hands. Ty Lee unzipping her dress.

_'She is always doing_ more _to help me.'_

Azula wanders around the unfamiliar building until she finds the girls. She finds them together in a dark room, Mai huddled on a couch, buried under some blankets. Ty Lee is placing more on her when Azula walks in.

"What's wrong?" She asks.

"Uh, well, Mai isn't feeling well. She doesn't have a fever, but she's freezing cold to the touch," Ty Lee tells her. "I don't know what else to do?"

Azula steps up and stands beside Ty Lee. They stand above Mai and look down at her. Ty Lee's mind tries to pace through some solutions. Azula already knows the answer.

"Alright," Azula says and she steps away.

Ty Lee watches cautiously as Azula takes a padded chair and brings it over to the couch. She places it down beside Mai. Azula sits down in it. She leans forward, a foot or so from Mai's face. She lifts her hand out in front of her and hovers it in the space between them. Ty Lee watches with confusion.

_FLOOM_

A small, blue flame erupts from the palm of Azula's hand. With a single mental command it grows slightly larger. It blazes in place, her hand providing the fire to warm the young girl.

Through closed eyes, a grateful voice whispers, "Thank you, Azula."

Ty Lee grabs a chair as well and sits. The three of them gather and make idle small talk. Mai never opens her eyes, her head too pained, the flame too bright. In order to make Azula more comfortable, Ty Lee eventually gathers a second chair for her so she can put her feet up comfortably, while still providing the fire for Mai.

They talk about the failed drill operation. It hadn't been their plan, they simply helped manage it since they had been close by. Yet it was strong nonetheless, and frustrating to lose all the same. As for the Avatar and the others, Azula suggests they keep watchful eyes around Ba Sing Se, in the event they leave the city on the flying bison.

"I didn't even see them come in on it, did you?" Ty Lee asks.

"I don't know. We must have missed it somehow. We'll double the recon troops on the perimeter of the city. It's our best bet for getting to them next."

Ty Lee and Mai agree. Ty Lee can't help but think that Azula is excellent at the military strategy. She knew this because Azula told her so herself when they rode for New Ozai, but it was different seeing it all play out in-person over the last few months.

_'She's the smartest girl in the whole world.'_

Ty Lee lays back in a chair in the dark corner and asks her, "When did you realize?"

Azula, stretching her legs, feeling exhaustion set in, replies, "Realize what?"

"That you were special?"

A mixture of a scoff and a laugh escapes her lips. "I'm the Crown Princess, Ty Lee. I've known since birth that I was special."

"No, no. You've known since birth that you were _royalty_. That didn't mean you were _special_."

Azula slumps back, her hand still hovering a foot from Mai's face, giving off heat. Her eyelids feel heavy. She replies, "I suppose that's true. Well then, I guess it was after Zuko was banished."

"What happened?"

"Once Zuko was gone, of course I became my father's only family member. He kept me close by."

"That must have been good, right?"

"I suppose. We… didn't talk much. Didn't do much. He simply brought me to more of his military meetings and had my instructors work me harder."

"Mmh."

Both girls look and find the groan which had come from Mai. She has finally fallen to sleep.

Ty Lee feels like her nice conversation starter had taken a bad turn. She wants to put a bow on it and wrap it up. She says, "That sounds like it was hard, Azula. But _I_ for one have always thought you were special."

She smiles in the dimly lit light, in her chair a few feet away in the corner, at the Crown Princess. Azula looks at the pale blue flame in her hand. She ponders what Ty Lee has said. To an extent, it had sent a surge of warmth to her heart. But moreover, it had brought a memory back. One that she felt was salient to the conversation and their current predicament.

"You know, one of my first instructors told me something once. I'm going to share it with you."

Her eyelids remain heavy, her eyes still transfixed on the flame. Her tired body stretched out across the two chairs. In the corner, Ty Lee sits up to pay attention.

"I forget their name, it was so long ago now. But they told me that some people are born with great ability. Firebending, for example. Some are born with a fire inside, one that can not be measured or shown."

The blue flame in her hand flickers. Ty Lee looks across the room. She sees Azula's face and gold eyes trained on the flame.

"But the greatest people in the world, the ones who really make a difference and change history? They are born with both."

Ty Lee gulps. She feels the hairs on her arms stand up. For the first time, Azula looks away from the flame. Cutting through the darkness, her golden eyes find her friend in the corner.

" _We_ were born with both, Ty Lee."

Ty Lee stares into those eyes. She could spend the rest of her day, the rest of all of her days, in them. She sees another color enter the room though. Azula's aura glows an intense, pure green. She nods her head in response. Azula's eyelids finally win the fight. They close and wrap her in old, familiar darkness.

_Crackle_

The flame in her hand fades to nothing. Her arm goes limp at her side. Azula succumbs to the exhaustion and falls fast asleep.

Ty Lee, on the other hand, sits wide awake. This story that Azula told before sleeping, it has stirred something in her. She isn't sure what, but she feels it. She feels alive. She can not sleep yet.

She gets up, collects another blanket, and covers Azula up. She does her best to tuck her in without disturbing her. She knows the Princess has not been sleeping well for a while now, and she does not want to ruin this for her. She returns to her corner seat and curls up into it. She sits mostly in darkness, little flames in the hallway providing a semblance of light in the room.

She sits and watches Azula sleep. She thinks again about how the Princess has lived a life without her. When they drifted off after Ty Lee ran away for the circus, so much of her life changed. Once more Ty Lee replays the decision to write and never send the letters. She had feared losing her forever. What if Azula had rejected her? What if she had not or does not feel the same? Just one wrong move and their entire relationship could crumble. With Mai always around, hope was useless, unless Azula made the first move.

_'Don't chase the dragon.'_

Today, she had seen the dragon. Azula had breathed fire and shot lightning into the sky. She had seen the dragon come to life, right in front of her. A dragon clad in red with a charcoal and gray and beige and bright green auras. One who strategized and warmed others with her very presence. One who talked about being 'born with both.' The girl who made Ty Lee feel so special. She has seen the dragon and nearly been burned down by it.

Nevertheless, Ty Lee feeds her temptation. She chases the dragon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter OST is "watch you sleep." by girl in red.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	6. Found Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula learns a secret. Ty Lee almost smudges something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

** Found Me **

Fire is an event. It occurs in spurts and then fades. It skips and climbs. It crackles and burns. If we try to ignore the fire, it grows bigger and brighter. The only way to truly end the event is to suffocate it. For as long as there is oxygen, then fire can exist.

Tonight the trio of childhood friends sit around a campfire and enjoy their last night of freedom for the foreseeable future. They have planned and eaten and laughed. Now they sit and absorb each other's company in the Fire Nation encampment near Ba Sing Se. They pass around a waterskin and debate what is inside of it.

"The answer is always air," Azula assures them. Ty Lee does not look convinced and Azula redoubles her efforts. "Ever since we were children, I know it, it's always been air!"

There is a playful hint in her voice. She believes that she's right, but she also isn't going to gut them from chin to belly button if they disagree.

Mai does not engage in the game. For much of the night she has been distant. Ty Lee, on the other hand, challenges the Princess. She shouts across the fire, "No way! It's called a _water_ skin after all, not an _air_ skin."

Azula shoots back, "Not even everyone calls it that, Ty Lee. Some people just call them 'skins, and some have other names for them."

"That doesn't change the fact that there is still more _water_ in it than air!"

"Oh now you're just being ridiculous."

"Alright, Mai, it's time for you to settle it. Azula says air, I say water. What do you think? Does the _water_ skin have more air in it or water?"

"I don't know." The girl drones.

"Well none of us know, silly!"

"I know. And the answer is _air._ "

"Oh hush you."

"Did you just hush me? _Me_? The Crown _Princess_?"

"I did." Ty Lee says matter of factly. "Now Mai, what do you think?"

"I don't care."

"Oh, c'mon! Just tell us already!" Ty Lee implores. Her grey-brown eyes shine brightly in the campfire light.

Mai finally looks up at her friend. She doesn't mean to exact her pound of flesh on the innocent girl. Yet she does all the same, "I'll tell you what I think as soon as _you_ tell us about why you left for the circus."

The mood about the fire changes as Ty Lee feels the air taken out of her lungs. It's been almost 90 full days together now. Ty Lee has not cracked under pressure. They have tried to pull it out of her, but she has remained steadfast.

"That's, I… no." She flatly replies.

"Of course not." Mai chirps, not making eye contact, not giving them any body language to read.

Azula tries to ease the tension with her own brand of tenderness. "That's fine, Ty Lee, you keep your secrets from your Princess. We'll get it out of you eventually."

Ty Lee hates that they're so persistent. She shrinks in on herself and stares at her feet on the ground. Azula watches as her effort to reach out had largely the opposite effect.

Mai sits up and looks into the fire. Without turning away she asks, "So what's the plan for tomorrow?"

Azula knows full well that Ty Lee won't be answering. She recites the answer from memory, "Our royal appointment as Kyoshi Warriors with the Earth King is in the afternoon, close to sunset."

Azula relaxes and sinks into her seat, her legs elevating in the chair. Her lackadaisical nature belies the seriousness of what she says. "Every step has to be precise. We spent weeks on the tank-trains and weeks on that stupid drill. Now we've spent weeks and weeks for this mission. If the Avatar is still in there, we'll have to find him before we attack the King. Everything has led us to this moment."

Azula silently hopes that either one will pick up from there and try to change the conversation. Neither one does. She peers sideways at her friends. They sit across the fire from her, near each other, but refuse to look at one another. Azula pulls her eyes away and looks up into the night sky. A savior flies above.

"Speaking of the 'this moment,' I believe I see Ruki's Bird."

The brunette's eyes cautiously look to the sky and connect the dots.

"Say Ty Lee, why don't you entertain us with a story about your Dream Boy, or whatever you call him."

"Ugh," Mai lets out an audible groan.

Ty Lee feels similarly to Mai. Yet she is compelled. She sits up and forces a smile. "Of course, Princess. I live to serve."

She stares up at the constellation for a moment. Next she closes her eyes, and visualizes the future. She feels it in her heart. She prepares for a question.

"Alright, Ty Lee," Azula starts, plucking the first thought that comes into her mind. "Tell us everything you can about your future children. How many, what they're like, the whole thing."

The answer flows out of her, "When the love of my life arrives, I don't know if I'll want to have any kids."

"What!" Azula shouts. "What's the point of being with the love of your life if not to have children?"

Ty Lee cowers a way a bit, opening her eyes and looking into the fire again. "If it's something they want, maybe I'll try," she offers. "Or maybe we could adopt? I just don't want to put more babies into the world, when there are so many already that don't get enough attention."

There is sadness all about the campfire now. Ty Lee and Mai don't acknowledge each other. They both drift off into their own world of pain and heartache. Azula can't quite comprehend all of it. She is not mature enough yet. She just wants to rescue this moment.

She offers into the void, "Through all of these months and moments with Ruki's Bird, I think that the love of your life sounds an awful lot like the water tribe boy that's always with the Avatar."

A small smile spreads across Ty Lee's face as she watches the dancing flames. "Oh, he is _so_ cute. Maybe it is him. I like him, he's a cutie. I guess if we ever capture them I'll find out."

Nothing more is said for a few moments. The awkward silence had started as a slight blemish on their night. Their _last_ night. Azula thought Ruki's Bird would save them. Instead, she has only muddied the waters further by bringing it up. While the two friends sat just feet away from each other, they couldn't be further apart. Azula had smudged it. She couldn't help but ruin a good thing.

Meanwhile, Ty Lee's mind floats too. She thinks about the Water Nation boy they are always fighting. She thinks about him and tries to imagine a life with him. She thinks about a life with a multitude of men. Every single one of them melts in comparison to Azula. She tries to push the thought from her mind. She tries to think of Azula as just her friend. She _is_ just a friend. They aren't more than that.

_'We may never be more than that.'_

She picks up the water skin and examines it. Breaking up the silence she says, "Ya know, maybe it _is_ filled with more air?"

While Azula pondered her self-sabotaging ways, and Ty Lee imagines her life with men, Mai thinks of a single boy. Her agitation from the last few months has finally reached its breaking point. She speaks up suddenly, staring at the waterskin in Ty Lee's hands.

"I wonder how many people die from dehydration every single year? Something so simple that could be prevented."

The other girls turn their attention to Mai. Her tone becomes harsher now, "So it doesn't matter if there's more air or more water in the 'skin. Drink it up and stop complaining."

Ty Lee's mouth hangs open as she looks her friend in the eye. Azula raises her eyebrows at this exchange but doesn't say anything. Ty Lee fumbles for words, "Mai, I-"

The dark haired girl stands swiftly and departs, muttering to herself as she goes, "I'm gonna go practice."

The two girls are left alone at the fireside. The fire simmers a bit, but still burns brightly. Ty Lee looks at the space in the darkness where Mai had disappeared into. As she stares into the void she asks, "Should I try and talk to her?"

Azula contemplates it for a moment and then replies, "No. Give her some space for now. She practices in the dark so she can hit things more accurately. Don't get in her path while she's working on it.

Privately, Azula believes this is really about Zuko. Ty Lee sighs and looks up at Ruki's Bird. She thinks about how Mai has been on edge as of late. Azula tracks through her memory, recognizing that while she may have had her run-ins with Zuko, Mai has not yet.

Azula isn't sure if she can add anything else of value. She stops while she's ahead and the girls again sit in silence. They're across from each other on either side of the fire. The fire reminds Ty Lee of the one in Azula's hand a few weeks ago. This gateway leads her to thinking more about the Crown Princess. Ty Lee has wrestled internally for a long time with telling Azula the truth. She finally works up the courage to tell her.

Forcibly, Ty Lee speaks up, "Azula, can I tell you a secret?"

Her grey-brown eyes lock onto the girl across from her. Panic sets in about what is suddenly happening. Azula fixes her posture and sits up straight. She looks directly into those eyes and asks, "What is it, Ty Lee?"

"This is something important to me. Do you promise you won't tell Mai?"

"Y-yes." Azula stutters, a growing sense of excitement overcoming her. The girls mind races ahead with the possibilities of what the young acrobat is about to divulge.

Ty Lee hems and haws. She briefly considers backing out, but she has already committed. She says, "You all have been asking why I ran away to the circus."

Azula nods.

"If I tell you, will you stop trying to bring it up?"

Azula is uncertain where this is going. It was strangely disappointing, but exhilarating all the same. She proudly declares, "Well of course! If I already know, then I wouldn't need to keep asking."

"Okay. Promise me?"

Azula looks at her sternly and nods, "I promise."

"Okay. Okay," she huffs. She closes her eyes. _'In through the nose. Out through the mouth. You can do this.'_ She breathes deeply for a few moments. She launches into the story she has kept hidden away.

"I don't know if you can recall the time I came to play with you and Mai, and I had been crying all day. Can you?"

"No," Azula lies.

"Well, I remember the way you looked at me. You saw me. You… still see me." She confesses.

_'Now comes the hard part.'_

"My sister had told me that no one would miss me if I was gone."

Azula's breath catches for a moment. She leans in, closer to the fire, and brings a closed fist into her right hand. Ty Lee continues her story.

"I was scared of ending up as part of a matched set. I always felt different from everyone around us growing up, but at the same time I was never unique."

Ty Lee gets misty eyed as the pain and memories pour out of her. "Like, I'm the only person I think _any of us_ has ever met who's from the Fire Nation, but doesn't have either black hair or gold eyes. That's different… but I'm not unique because my sisters are all the same."

The tears begin slipping down her cheeks. She doesn't want them to go, but they flow all the same. "I always felt like I was… I don't know… a mistake."

_'Not at all.'_ Azula thinks.

"Like, I'm not normal, and maybe I shouldn't have been born with all of my sisters either."

Azula unconsciously nods her head as her friend talks. She's hanging on every word, but not trying to show it.

"I ran away so I could be unique and make a life for myself. And it was good but I was… sad."

"Why?" Azula asks before she can filter herself.

Ty Lee rubs her eyes and brushes off the loose tears. She stares at the dying fire. With pain in her stomach she answers, "Because it meant that my sister was right."

_'Her sister was right?'_ Azula is confused.

"I ran away from home and no one even bothered to come after me."

Ty Lee sobs. This hurts Azula. Part of her wants to cross the space between them and envelope her friend in her arms. Soothe her and assure her that everything would be alright. But gravity keeps her down. She doesn't move. She watches the tears fall from afar. Her hushed breaths betray her cool, uncaring exterior.

"No one came after me, Azula. No one even cares that I'm gone, still! I could be dead, or swallowed up by a hole in the ground. I could disappear forever, and my own family wouldn't care."

Ty Lee buries her head in her hands at last, the pain finally overcoming her. The pain comes from a place hidden deep within her heart. Part of her worries, as Azula says nothing. She has been vulnerable with the girl, and she is getting nothing in response now. Azula thinks that she shouldn't say anything. She should not provoke the fire. She should let Ty Lee cope with these emotions herself. A different Azula would let her cry. A different Azula would tell her to grow up. A different Azula would tell her to watch out for yourself first and foremost.

But this Azula can't say any of those things. The girl she is today can't.

" _I_ care about you, Ty Lee."

The words flow so naturally out of her, but feel so unnatural reverberating in the air. It comes from a place hidden deep within Azula's heart. Yet saying it, admitting that it's true, is a completely different thing. Azula stares at the top of Ty Lee's head. The brown of her hair is all she sees, her face covered in her hands, bowed in her lap. She keeps it buried, trying to hide the pain.

Part of her worries, as Ty Lee says nothing. She has been vulnerable with the girl, and she is getting nothing in response now. A voice cuts through the hands and through the night.

"You found me, Azula."

She lifts her head. Azula looks across the dying fire. The streaks down her cheeks, the redness of her eyes. The way her tears smudged whatever makeup she was wearing. It was exactly as she remembered from that summer day so long ago. A little girl, hurting, and in need of a friend. In need of Azula.

Ty Lee wipes her eyes and nose. Her voice is strangled, but she speaks nonetheless, "When the rest of the world had given up on me… you found me."

Although Azula stares into Ty Lee's grey-brown eyes, her mind flashes back to a lifetime of memories. Growing up together, meeting in school, playing in the royal garden. A single moon flower that Ty Lee had picked for her. Staring up at the moon and wondering if she stared also into it. Watching the girl fall from the wire. Riding on the back of a mongoose lizard together. Learning to meditate and listening to her laugh and learning to laugh with her. Discovering new constellations together. Releasing her pain into the world, with her help. Her mind tracing through all of these events in milliseconds until she finds herself sitting here, staring into those same eyes that once looked up at her with sadness from the pain of feeling alone. That stare into her now with that same pain. That stare with thanks for being found.

' _She has never been alone. I was always beside her. I was always going to find her.'_

This thought comes to Azula. A surge of emotions burst forth. She has feelings. Feelings that she needs to push down right now.

' _Push it down. Push it all the way down.'_

A lie streams from her lips, "Well, of course I found you. I needed you. To help with this mission," she pauses. "And your chi blocking. That was of the utmost importance as well."

Ty Lee forces a smile and sniffles. She replies graciously, "Of course. And I live to serve."

A comfortable silence settles over them for a moment. Ty Lee looks away from Azula and away from the fire. She stares into that space in the void and says, "Well, I better go check on Mai."

"Yes, of course, that's good." Azula says, distracted.

She stands and stalks away. After she gets a few steps though, Azula calls back to her, "Ty Lee!"

The brunette spins around. Her pony tail leads the way. Her hair seems to shimmer in the light. Her iridescent smile and luminous eyes force a rush of blood to Azula's head. Under the moonlight and soft glow of the dying fire, Ty Lee is a vision to behold. Azula remembers that she called the girl back and speaks her mind.

"It truly was of the utmost importance. That you be here with me."

Part of Ty Lee wants to charge at Azula and envelop her in a hug. Hold her. Thank her for everything.

' _But she hasn't given me any indication that she wants that too.'_

Instead, Ty Lee just replies, "Thank you, Princess."

With this, Ty Lee turns away and disappears into the night in search of Mai. In search of making amends and bridging the gap. As she wanders a thought occurs to her.

' _She didn't know about my chi blocking until after I agreed to come with her?'_

Azula sits and watches as the fire fades into embers. She feels her pulse pounding and thinks about the exchange she has just had. As she reflects on it, a most wonderful thought blooms.

' _When the rest of the world forgot about her… I found her.'_

For the first time since she was in that garden with Ty Lee, she feels butterflies rise in the pit of her stomach again. The surge of emotions, the rush of blood. They all come in waves and crash down upon her. She denies them. She tries to bury them deep.

' _Extinguish the flames.'_

* * *

The next afternoon, Azula has butterflies in her stomach. The feeling may just be anxiety. It's hard to know the difference anymore, if she's being honest with herself. Azula barely slept a few hours overnight. It's been over three months now of restless sleep.

She falls asleep from exhaustion. The nightmares wake her. She contemplates her life and thinks about what their latest plan is to defeat the Avatar. Occasionally it wanders to other things like Zuko or her uncle. Often she thinks about a certain brunette who sleeps nearby. Eventually, the exhaustion would set back in and bring her back to sleep. To sleep, perchance to dream. Dream of being the end of the Fire Nation, and of falling. So she would wake. And then she would think. And then she would sleep. A vicious cycle that she dreaded every night.

Today, absolutely everything must go perfectly right. She can not allow for any more blunders. However, that is not what is causing her anxiety to fly higher than the sky bison they have chased. Azula is in the bedroom as Mai and Ty Lee change their clothes. She walks in as they are finishing up. They prepare the ensemble of the Kyoshi Warriors that they will seek to imitate.

Azula has put on the outfit already, but when she returns she is briefly struck by their beauty. She feels uneasy watching them. She does not know what has changed. They have changed in front of one another countless times over the last few months. Yet Azula always averted her eyes. It was common decency, after all. Or she would face away, wait for them to leave the room, and then change herself. This time, she shamefully looks right at them. She can't pull her eyes away from Ty Lee.

She tries to pry her eyes but this magnetic force is too strong. She follows the bend of her elbows. The flat of her stomach. The arch of her back as she leans over. The sleekness of her shoulders. The way her hair sways and bobs and flows perfectly. How she effortlessly looks beautiful. Even Mai looks gorgeous.

_'What is happening. Get a hold of yourself!'_ She tries to reason with herself. She tries to steal herself. _'In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys '_

Finally, cooler heads prevail. She gulps and looks away from them. She steps inside the room and over to the left. She sits down at a table with makeup. She looks at it but doesn't do anything. Her mind wanders as she tries to rationalize what is going on with her.

"Azula? Are you okay?" Mai asks.

She looks up and both girls are staring at her now. She fumbles through her words before saying, "I'm fine. Just thinking about the plan and our next steps and such."

Mai raises her eyebrows at this and replies, "Well planning all of it won't do us any good if you don't get ready."

"What?" She asks, looking herself up and down to ensure she is wearing the traditional garments they had stolen.

"Your hair and makeup. You haven't done any of it yet."

The two girls advance on her and stand beside her. They tower over her. Ty Lee's sweet voice sings, "Would you like some help, Princess?"

"I-" she starts.

"Allow us," she says bending down to eye level with Azula. "We live to serve."

"Alright," Mai says, "but _you_ do the makeup. You're better than me at that."

"Oh, what a shame," she replies, then turns her attention back to Azula. "You've always had such beautiful hair!"

_Skrrt_ _skrrt_

Azula grabs her chair by the seat, as Mai pulls it out. She repositions it away from the table so that she and Ty Lee can have full range of access to it. Azula now sits in the chair and faces the room at large. Mai steps behind her and runs a brush through her hair.

_Skrrt skrrt_

Ty Lee reaches behind her and pulls a chair up. She situates it directly in front of Azula. As she sits she moves her hand and pushes Azula's knees together. Azula shrinks and takes up less space. Ty Lee pulls the chair as close as she can, and spreads her legs to that she is effectively straddling the golden eyed princess. They are in very close proximity and Azula feels her heart beating faster.

Ty Lee leans in until she is nose to nose with her. They are inches apart. She commands Azula, "Close your eyes."

Azula does as she's told, but she draws in short, hushed breaths. Her panic is getting the better of her. She feels the heat rising in her. Self-preservation is preparing to kick in. Cutting through the darkness, the soft voice of an angel speaks to her.

"Calm down, Azula. It's going to be alright."

Azula feels something soft brushes against her face. Light as a feather. Almost like it was nothing at all. Nothing but sunlight. The very touch of the sun itself, dancing across her cheek. Ty Lee lightly applies the white powder across the canvas of the Princess's face. Azula doesn't even realize she's holding her breath.

Slowly she opens her eyes and stares into those brown-grey orbs. Ty Lee wears the biggest smile as she applies the makeup. Seeing Azula opening her eyes though, she dons a look of disappointment, "Hey! No peeking!"

She shuts her eyes again. She is uncertain of how she is supposed to feel right now. She has been pampered her entire life. This is not a new experience, at least it shouldn't be. Yet this time feels different.

Azula wants nothing more than to be somewhere else right now. Meeting the Earth King, chasing Zuko, fighting the Avatar, anywhere. She'd rather be in her nightmare, falling from the sky, fighting imaginary shadow figures. Anywhere but here right now.

Time seems to slow to a halt.

' _Push it down. Push it all the way down.'_

The gentle pull of Mai brushing her hair.

' _Put it somewhere that no one will ever find it.'_

The careful caress of Ty Lee applying the Kyoshi makeup.

' _Bury it so deep that not even you can find it, Azula.'_

The butterflies float in her stomach. Up to her lungs, further still, up to her chest

' _In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys.'_

The butterflies rise to her throat, threatening to spill out and say everything she's worked so hard to keep down.

' _In the Fire Nation, little girls like-"_

"I know I told you this before, but you really are prettier without makeup on," Ty Lee coos at her. "But this Kyoshi ensemble is going to look killer on you!"

_'She really is the prettiest girl in the world!'_ Ty Lee marvels.

Azula might just crack. Her mind begins to short circuit at this latest comment.

_Sniff sniff_

She takes in Ty Lee's aroma and it smells of jasmine. Her blood rushes. Her cheeks feel hot. The hair on her arms stand up.

Since she can't look at her, she tries to picture what Ty Lee's face looks like. Her smile, her features. She tries to imagine the sparkle in her eyes. She tries to picture exactly what Ty Lee is doing right now. Meanwhile, Ty Lee covers her face in the makeup and wonders about the beauty of Azula.

_'She puts out this menacing and powerful exterior. It's like she_ wants _people to fear her.'_

But Ty Lee knows better. She knows that beneath the war paint and the fire & lightning, Azula is still that little girl playing in the Royal Palace. The one who couldn't cartwheel. The one who just wanted Mai and Zuko to be together and stop playing around. The one who chased away Ty Lee's tears.

She reaches for the lipstick and turns her back. Azula can't control herself and opens her eyes just as Ty Lee is turning around again. Their eyes meet once more and stare into one another. They are again inches apart, nearly nose to nose again. This moment arrives without ceremony, without speaking.

' _In the Fire Nation, little girls like-"_

Ty Lee smiles at her widely.

Azula melts apart at the sight.

Ty Lee sticks her tongue out playfully. So childish in such a tense moment, Azula can't help but giggle.

"What are you two _doing_?"

Before she can formulate words to reply, Ty Lee answers, "Azula keeps peeking, Mai!"

"Azula," Mai starts threateningly.

She promptly closes her eyes again. As she does, she tries to convince herself that she doesn't feel the way that she does. She tries to shake it off.

Ty Lee unfurls the red lipstick. She purses her lips and squints at Azula. She lifts her hand up and places it lightly under Azula's chin.

Azula is surprised by the cold sensation under her mouth. She is at Ty Lee's mercy. Azula is the Crown Princess, a Fire Bending Prodigy, the Child of Ozai, and Seed of Sozin himself. These titles which she has earned through birthright and through her own accomplishments. She has done and become so much. All of that, just so she can be putty in the hands of a common circus girl.

_'But there's nothing common about her.'_

Ty Lee commands her, "Now pucker your lips, Azula."

Azula likes Ty Lee being assertive with her. She does as she's told, but unconsciously her knee starts to bounce

"Do you want to go for the cute doll look? Or maybe a smouldering temptress…"

She presses the lipstick to Azula's lips. She becomes keenly aware and suddenly self-conscious that this is the closest she's ever been to Azula's lips. Meanwhile, Azula's one knee bounces slightly faster as Ty Lee traces the red around her mouth.

_'Compose yourself, for Agni's sake!'_

When the brunette pauses, she answers, "Make it look as authentic as possible, Ty Lee."

Ty Lee finishes Azula's upper lip and lowers the tube to look at her handiwork. It's perfect. Her entire face is perfect. Not a single hair is out of place.

"I want these disguises to be perfect. No one will ever suspect. We'll take control of the city from the inside-"

Ty Lee stops hearing what Azula says. She is too caught up to listen. Azula's aura is glowing yellow, almost golden.

_'Like daylight.'_

She desperately wants nothing more than to lean in and smudge the lipstick. She wants to _kiss_ her. She wants to chase the dragon. She gulps and leans in.

"- Ba Sing Se is as good as ours."

Mai ties Azula's hair into her classic top knot, and says, "All done."

Distractedly, Ty Lee backs away and adds, "Me too."

Mai asks, "Do you want to look in the mirror?"

"No," Azula responds quickly. "We better move. We don't want to be late for our royal appointment."

All three girls stand and stride out of the room. Ty Lee walks with a huge smile on her face. She keeps imagining it. Leaning in and smudging the lipstick. She will ride the high of this mental image until the next wave carries her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "Just Friends" by Audrey Mika.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	7. Liberation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty Lee asks Azula if she loves someone. Azula and Ty Lee learn what it means to be common Earth Kingdom folks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Liberation**

"I _know_ you're back there, Azula! Don't you have something more important to do?" Zuko shouts.

Azula releases Ty Lee and stands up hastily. She dusts herself off and replies, "I don't know _what_ you're talking about. I was just telling Ty Lee to stop messing around in the bushes. It's undignified."

The young girl shoots up and turns to face her friend, whining, "Hey!"

Mai and Zuko whisper to each other quickly and then exit together. As they skip away Ty Lee examines their auras. Over the last few months she has found that Mai's aura never changes, and she hates that for her. Even with Zuko here, it seemed to only lighten a little out of its same grey color. She wishes she was happier and that she could have what her heart desires.

Azula watches her brother and best friend skip off together with a smile. _'About time those two love birds get some alone time.'_

Ty Lee turns to Azula, "Can _we_ eat now?"

"Of course!" Azula exclaims. "We have accomplished what no one in the entire history of the Fire Nation could. We _must_ celebrate!"

Azula walks off to get the attention of some servants so they can reset the table. Ty Lee watches her bark orders around and stares at her aura. It is a bright orange. She hasn't seen the Princess this happy since they started their journey together. It's like she's a whole different person.

* * *

The two friends sit and enjoy their meal together. It was the chefs best attempt at Fire Nation food. The conversation has been flowing, the laughter is loud, and the lights are low. A magnificent night, spent together, celebrating their coup.

"So, Azula, how does it feel to be going back to the Fire Nation a _hero_?" Ty Lee asks excitedly.

In spite of her current euphoria, Azula has never felt like much of a hero. _'I'm far more of a monster than a hero.'_ The crown doesn't sit right on her head, yet she still boastfully holds the title. And if holding it meant getting slightly more adoration from the brunette, than she would gladly take it tonight.

"Well, it will be nice to go home, but Zuko is the real hero. He's the one who killed the Avatar after all!"

As Azula would have the world know it, she and her friends had taken the Earth Kingdom, Zuko had killed the Avatar, and together they had captured their traitorous uncle. It was a flawless victory, built on a lie, and Ty Lee knew it.

"Azula, you," she pauses and looks around. There are no Earth Kingdom servants anywhere within sight. "You don't have to say that around me. I know what happened."

"What do you mean, Ty Lee?" Azula asks, disbelief and defensive tone rising. "Are you accusing your Princess of lying?"

Ty Lee is caught off-guard by this. "No, of course not, I just mean," and she stops. She's flustered and unsure of how to proceed. She has already committed, so she continues. "It's just you and me. There's no one around, there's no prying ears. You don't have to pretend with me."

Azula blushes and Ty Lee can't believe her own eyes. The raven haired girl looks around momentarily then looks directly into her eyes, whispering, "Ty Lee, should anyone ask, anyone at all, as far as you know Zuko killed the Avatar. This is _very_ important."

It was a command, and Ty Lee was in no position to be asking questions, but still she felt compelled. She whispers back, "Why is it important? Why do you want people to believe that? Why do you want him to come home so bad?"

Azula looks away and sits up straight, her voice rising beyond the whisper. "Because that was my mission from my father; to bring him and my traitor uncle home."

Ty Lee knows this is a nonanswer. Azula could accomplish her mission any number of ways. She replies, "But you could just bring him home in chains."

Inside a fire burns at this mental image. A fury rises to her lips and Azula nearly shouts at her, "I'd rather bring _you_ home in chains!"

The ferocity of this statement leaves Ty Lee stunned silent. She is legitimately shocked by how strongly the Princess feels about this. How far she is willing to go to protect this lie from even quiet speculation. Meanwhile, Azula realizes this outburst was uncalled for. Embarrassed, she stands up and looks away from Ty Lee.

_'Chase the dragon.'_

Ty Lee gets up and stands behind Azula. The question rises to her lips without impediment, "Azula, do you love Zuko?"

Azula stares up at the moon and admits, "He's my brother."

Ty Lee takes this response in stride. A soft smile spreads across her face. She feels like they're on the verge of a breakthrough. Azula does not look away from the moon.

"But no. I don't love him. I don't love _anyone_ , Ty Lee. I can't trust anyone, so how could I ever love?"

_'How could somebody ever love me?'_

"What about me?" Ty Lee asks. She lets this hang a moment and then adds, "Do you trust me?"

Azula stares into the night sky and the stars and the distant light. She doesn't answer right away. She turns it over in her mind. "No," she replies. "I don't trust anyone, Ty Lee."

Ty Lee is disappointed to hear this. What had felt so close to a breakthrough a moment ago is now slipping away. Azula is being so distant, even if she's only a foot away from her. Sometimes it felt like she couldn't get out of her own way on her path to happiness. Ty Lee felt that could be true of herself as well. Perhaps that wasn't all they had in common.

"Princess Azula, may I speak my mind?"

Azula is uneasy and worried about what she'll say. She does not look away, but a familiar exchange rises to memory, "Would you lie to your Princess?"

"Of course not."

"Then speak."

"I think you do care about Zuko. I think you want him to be happy. And if he gets credit for killing the Avatar, that could bring him honor in the eyes of Fire Lord Ozai."

Azula finally turns and faces Ty Lee again. She looks into those grey-brown eyes and gives a single nod of her head in response. What Ty Lee says are the words that Azula has not spoken; the words inside her head.

"I think that you are," Ty Lee starts but stops. She is conflicted if she should say this next part.

"You think I'm a what?" Azula asks. Her fear of what she'll say turns into a punchline to mask the concern. "A monster?"

Ty Lee shakes her head and steps towards the Crown Princess. "Not at all. I think you're like me."

"Like you?"

"I think that you're afraid to end up alone."

Azula tries to picture a life without Zuko. She has spent the last few years without him. She has fought with him and now beside him. She _has_ been alone. But she can not imagine a life where he is gone permanently.

Nonetheless, she plays up the bravado again and retorts, "I don't have the slightest idea what you mean, Ty Lee."

The brunette is taken aback by this. She silently turns away and they now stare up at the sky, but in different directions. Azula peeks over her shoulder and sees Ty Lee staring into the night. Now she turns and stands behind her brunette friend.

"My biggest fear is to end up alone," Ty Lee tells the stars. "I think maybe that's why I've run away from everything I've ever had. My family, the circus. I leave before they can leave me."

_'When the rest of the world had given up on her… I found her.'_

Azula thinks about Ty Lee and her fear. She thinks about Zuko. She isn't sure if she even knows what love is. It feels like she's seen it before, maybe. A mother and her son sitting feeding turtle ducks comes to mind. In all the stories and songs about love, she's always felt disconnected from the concept. Like they weren't written for her; like she could never reach it. She could never love anyone because she could never trust. But if she did love anyone, if there was anyone she wanted to be happy other than herself, it was Zuko.

_'But then what do I feel for Ty Lee?'_

The acrobat turns away from the night and looks at Azula. Her eyes are somber as she says, "Sorry, I didn't mean to say so many words."

"Ty Lee, don't apologize. I… it's alright."

She can't help but notice that Azula doesn't scold her. She doesn't correct her, or say she's wrong. If Ty Lee had spoken out of turn, Azula would have assuredly made her aware. Instead, Azula's aura becomes a shade of light teal.

"Thank you, Princess," she says as she bows.

Azula tries to lighten some of the tension, "Ty Lee, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. I don't want you to bow to me."

Ty Lee looks up with a smile and a giggle. They laugh together a moment. The ice is broken and the heaviness relieved. Ty Lee gets an idea and suggests, "Hey! Maybe we should do like they did a sneak out?"

Azula ponders this a second. It's not exactly how she planned to celebrate the night, but what else is she to do? She rides the high of the moment and replies, "Alright. Let's do it!"

* * *

"And I'm supposed to eat it?" Azula asks apprehensively.

Excitement overcoming her, Ty Lee hurriedly replies, "Yes! Eat it, Azula! Oh I can't wait, you're going to love the way it tastes in your mouth!"

Azula holds a bunch of rocks on a stick up to her mouth. Despite the dark of night they glow brightly colors of red and green. She pauses before taking a bite. Ty Lee tries to sell her on it still, "When I traveled with the circus, jennamites were my absolute favorite snacks anywhere in the Earth Kingdom. I know you don't really do the whole 'trust' thing, but I think you'll like it!"

_Crunch_

Azula takes a small bite out of the rock candy. She chews it for a few seconds and finds it to be a burst of flavors in her mouth. It's delectable! She tells Ty Lee, "It's not terrible."

Ty Lee knows that's as close as she'll get to an admission that Azula likes it, and she wears a prideful smile in response.

The girls walk through the streets of the Lower Ring, as people all around celebrate their "liberation" by the Fire Nation. There is cheering, music playing, people are out on the street dancing. Not a single person knows or suspects that these two girls walking amongst them were at the center of that liberation. Seeing the people excited about this moves something in Ty Lee.

"It's really great that all of these people have hope again," she says. Azula looks sideways at her and smiles. " _You_ gave that to them, Azula."

Azula isn't sure what to say. Ty Lee is again comparing her to a hero. These positive things, they just don't align with how Azula sees herself. The monster she is underneath.

"These people have so little in life, which makes them appreciate it all the more," Ty Lee thinks out loud as they continue to slowly wind their way through slightly crowding streets. "Honestly, I think you could learn a lot from them."

"I could?" Azula asks, both skeptical and curious.

"Sure!" She exclaims. "Appreciating the little things in life, and stop worrying constantly about big plans and schemes for the Fire Nation. Life isn't _all_ about the Throne."

"But it's all I've ever wanted."

"Isn't there anything _else_ you want?"

Azula doesn't break stride. She doesn't pause to think. She doesn't even look at Ty Lee. But her mind pans all the same. She thinks, _'Maybe there is something else…'_

"Leaves from the vine," a strange voice says. "Falling so slow."

Azula and Ty Lee stop dead in their tracks. They look at one another to confirm that they didn't mishear that just now. The song comes from nearby. They walk over towards a small gathering of people, dancing as a man strums his guitar and sings loudly for them. They stop on the outskirts.

"Like fragile, tiny shells, drifting in the foam."

Azula tugs on the arm of a woman standing in front of them. She turns to face the girl and Azula asks, "Why are they singing that song?"

"Haven't you heard, girl? We've been liberated by the Fire Nation!"

"Little soldier boy, come marching home."

"We know, but why _this_ song?"

"Oh, well he said it's the only Fire Nation song he knows." The woman answers and then turns back around.

"Brave soldier boy, comes marching home."

Azula feels odd hearing her childhood lullaby played for a crowd of Earth Kingdom peasants.

"Comes marching home!"

"C'mon, Zula! Dance with me!"

Azula is yanked by the wrist and tumbles towards Ty Lee. The acrobat is light on her feet and steadies the golden eyed girl. She pulls her friend into a soft sway with the music. The guitarist riffs and shouts louder.

"Comes marching home!"

Azula doesn't know how to dance and quickly gives up the fruitless effort. Yet this does not deter Ty Lee. The young girl continues to shake her waist and hips. It mesmerizes Azula.

"Comes marching… _home._ "

He finishes his song and the crowd around them bursts into applause. Ty Lee stops her own dancing to clap and cheer, "Wooo!"

Her dancing, her positivity, her energy, her enthusiasm for life itself. Azula can't take her eyes off of Ty Lee. She feels things. The brunette turns to her suddenly, breathless.

"Why'd you stop dancing?"

"I don't know how," Azula answers bluntly.

"Oh, well I'll teach you!"

Azula laughs internally at this. Ty Lee is incorrigible. Her enthusiasm is contagious. She thinks _, 'So simple. She'll just teach me how to dance.'_

Ty Lee can't help but feel like this whole night has been very good for Azula, especially after the difficult conversations they had after dinner. She grabs Azula's sleeve and turns to leave the gathering as the guitarist takes a break. Azula smirks as they walk away and replies, "You _will_ teach me to dance."

She leans closer to Ty Lee as they walk. She raises her hand up and whispers a secret into Ty Lee's ear so no one overhears, "We may be masquerading as commoners, but I am still your Princess."

Ty Lee gives a wry smile and replies cooly, "Of course, and I live to serve."

They step forward through the crowd side by side, but their eyes meet for a moment. The playful banter is met with scintillating eye contact. Ty Lee narrows her eyes. Azula returns the wry smile. This exchange sparks a match in the soul of both girls.

"Watch it!"

Both look forward and narrowly avoid walking into a pair of burly men going in the opposite direction.

"Sorry!" Ty Lee shouts back to them. When she turns back to facing forward she sees something that excites her.

"Oh look!" She shouts. She reaches down and grabs Azula by the hand and pulls her forward.

Azula is again yanked forward by the brunette. They surge through the city streets and wind around a few strangers. They arrive at a concrete fountain, encircled by lit lanterns. Azula looks down and sees her hand still grasping Ty Lee's.

"I've heard so much about this!" Ty Lee exclaims. "It's called the Firefly Fountain? Or Fire Life? Fire Light? Oh, you get the idea."

Ty Lee lets go and steps towards the fountain. Azula looks down at her hand and it feels empty. Ty Lee looks back at her friend, who stands there and curiously looks at her hand. She giggles to herself at the oddity that is Azula.

_'She is the most perfect girl in the whole world.'_

"C'mere, Azula. Look at the water with me."

She beckons the Princess with her fingers. Azula reluctantly steps forward and stands beside Ty Lee. She looks up at the lights. She refuses to look down and face the reflection in the water. Ty Lee notices this but doesn't comment on it.

"We had several defectors from Ba Sing Se that worked with us in the circus," she starts, looking around and taking it all in. "They would all talk about this. They made such a big deal about it but I don't think they _really_ did it justice. I mean, have you ever seen something so beautiful and full of life?"

Azula looks directly at Ty Lee. She stands beside her and stares at her side profile. She feels the walls around her heart come tumbling down. Maybe it is the moment. Maybe it is the conversation they had earlier. Maybe it is something she ate or drank that night. Getting Zuko back. Defeating the Avatar. There could be a lot of things to explain it.

But the simple truth of the matter is that she has feelings for the girl standing beside her. She is supposed to be ashamed. She is supposed to push these feelings away. She _has_ pushed these feelings away. But standing here, staring at the Firelight Fountain, staring at her luminous friend and partner, she feels things that she can not deny. Her entire aura fades into a red-orange. It glows as bright as the sun.

"Yes, I have."

Ty Lee smirks at this comment, sure that it will follow with some quip. She turns to face Azula, smiling, waiting for the punchline, but none ever comes. Instead, her eyes are met with an aura as powerful as flame itself.

The corners of her mouth twitch. She wears a confused but happy smile. She locks eyes with Azula. Her brown-grey mix with Azula's gold. Nothing else matters except this moment. Agni could strike her down and she would not break this eye contact. The Avatar could resurrect and wrought his vengeance against them, and Ty Lee would not be the first to look away.

_'Chase the dragon.'_

Ty Lee lifts her hand up into the space between them. She offers it to Azula. It is hers to take. Azula looks down at it. She knows she shouldn't.

She takes it anyway.

They interlock their fingers and walk away from the fountain together.

* * *

They walk on through the markets and people. No one says anything to them, hardly anyone notices a pair of girls walking hand in hand. To them, they are not the Crown Princess and a Highborn Acrobat. They are not the liberators or conquerors. They are common Earth Kingdom folks. For all the bystanders know, they have lived their entire lives in the Earth Kingdom.

They say nothing to each other as they walk for a few minutes. They just sit in the silence and enjoy each other's company. Azula is a bit uncomfortable with this public display of affection. But it also brings her joy. It brings the butterflies in her stomach. She likes the butterflies in this moment.

She'll stamp this moment into her memory so she can remember it always. She wants to fold this exact moment upon itself again and again, until it's so small it fits into her pocket and she can take it everywhere she goes with her.

They saunter slowly through the streets. Ty Lee has no idea where this has come from. She has chased the dragon for almost 100 days, riding from one high to the next, and this is the crest. The peak has never been higher. She feels immense joy. It's almost overwhelming. Her mind races through many questions and thoughts.

Perhaps Azula has always felt the same? Perhaps she was hiding her feelings? Should Ty Lee confess her own feelings? Should she tell Azula all the things she has thought? All the words she has carefully prepared over the months? Over the _years_? Should she start by asking her if this feeling is real? Where does she begin? They are leaving in the morning, for the Fire Nation. In the Fire Nation, none of Ty Lee's dreams can be real. None of her hopes. They all burn up with a return to the Fire Nation in the morning.

She stops suddenly, turns to Azula, and takes both hands in hers. Her heart is beating into her throat. She feels the nerves building and her voice is shaky. _'Chase the dragon!'_ She takes a leap of faith.

"Run away with me, Azula."

Weakly and surprised, Azula asks, "What?"

"Let's run away together. Ba Sing Se belongs to the Fire Nation. The Avatar is dead. The war might as well be over. All those times we talked and dreamed about life after the war," the desperation rises in her voice. "They can all be real now!"

Azula's eyes search around the grey-brown of Ty Lee's. She is listening but she is shocked by what she's hearing.

"I can't go home to my family, Azula. I can't. The pain is too much. Let's just run away. Just the two of us."

It sounds delirious. It sounds far fetched. She's speaking crazy right now. Leave the Fire Nation and never return? They're on the verge of the greatest homecoming of their lives. Azula can't simply walk away now.

"Ty Lee, this is madness," she pulls her hands away. "They took the Avatar's body, so we don't really know if he's dead. And even if he is, there's still so much to do. They still may invade on the day of the Black Sun. This isn't like running off to join the circus."

Azula says this to try and persuade Ty Lee to the foolishness of this idea. However, she regrets it instantly. It had come across much harsher than she intended. She wants to take it back and apologize, but Ty Lee's suggestion _is_ crazy. They can't run away. They can not.

Ty Lee is crushed. A moment ago she had been soaring in the clouds with wings. Everything she wanted she had, literally in the palm of her hand. She had flown into the sun and her wings had melted off. She fell from the sky and all of her dreams crashed with her.

"Okay," she replies.

They walk back side-by-side. They manage to make idle chit chat, changing topics and opening a dialogue as they go back to the royal palace. They talk about concerns and hopes from Mai and Zuko. They talk about the trip home on the royal fleet in the morning.

They talk to one another, but nothing is really said. They are both mentally adrift in the shores of overthinking. They had captured lightning in a bottle, but with just a moment, the lightning was released and they were left holding an empty glass. Something that was once special, is now just ordinary.

They part ways inside the palace and head for bed. Ty Lee gets to her bedroom and the emotions rush through her. She smoothes out her aura, or at least she tries. Mostly she thinks about how she had rode the high of the wave. But after the crest, the only place to go was down.

Azula arrives back in her bedroom. She closes the door behind her. She presses her back against the door. She slowly falls to the ground. She sits as a heap on the floor. She plays and replays the conversation. The moments and memories. She doesn't cry, but she is broken. Her eyes fall upon her hand and fingers. Her disgusting hand and spider-like fingers.

Azula stares down at it. There was a single perfect moment where Ty Lee fingers had been interlaced with her own. But it's gone now. Blown away with the wind.

Azula feels that ever since she was a little girl, when she held that moon flower in her hand, that she has the touch of the sun.

Everything she touches burns up on impact, until it is nothing but ash in her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is what the story title really means. This is what it was always about. This chapter's OST is "Call It What You Want" by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	8. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula gets her first kiss. Zuko gets some advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Jealous**

The wind whips wildly at Azula's back as they cross the water. The boat bounces against the waves and they quickly approach their destination. A familiar voice beside her speaks.

"I'm so excited to spend the weekend on Ember Island. It's going to be great to hang out on the beach and do nothing."

Zuko responds to this while Azula thinks. It's been over fifty days since they departed from Ba Sing Se. Fifty-one, to be exact, and it's been an odd time for the now ex-Crown Princess. Upon her brother's distinguished return to the homeland, she was unceremoniously revoked of her "Crown" title. Moreover, she didn't spend much time with Ty Lee or Mai once they returned to the Capital. After spending nearly 100 days with them in the wind, it was a bit jarring to return to the Royal Palace and barely see them at all.

Zuko whines, "I feel like a child!"

"Lighten up," she replies. "So Dad wants to meet with his advisers alone, without anyone else around. Don't take it personally."

Upon their return, Azula and Zuko had spent just about all of their time in and out of meetings with their father. Him sending them off so he could meet in private didn't really surprise Azula. While Zuko had been banished, this kind of behavior was typical. Ozai would always keep Azula close, but never _too_ close. It was a way of testing her and keeping her loyal.

"Doesn't your family have a house on Ember Island?" Ty Lee asks.

She turns towards the girl and replies, "We used to come every summer when we were kids."

"That must have been fun!"

Zuko says what Azula thinks, "That was a long time ago."

The Princess now turns away from Ty Lee. After the way things ended in Ba Sing Se, Azula felt maybe it was for the best that she rarely saw her. The former circus star had disappeared upon return. She refused to go home, but she didn't stay at the Royal Palace either. Azula didn't know where she went, and she tried to not care. She had grown too attached to the girl while traveling about with her.

The hand holding, if she even wanted to call it that, had been a mistake. They were caught up in the moment, and there had been a lot going on. They had effectively ended the War that night, so a little overreaction wouldn't have surprised anyone. This trip to Ember Island is the first amount of time that they'll be spending together since that night.

Neither is sure how to mend the bridge between them, but both have spent more time than they want to admit thinking about how they'll handle this weekend.

* * *

Ty Lee plops down upon the bed in the back corner of the room. "Ooh, I love the seashell bedspread!" She rolls and rubs the pillow admiringly.

"Are you serious?" Mai scoffs. "It looks like the beach threw up all over it."

The group of teenagers stand in their shared bedroom for the next three days, two nights. The house is much smaller than they anticipated. The bedroom is especially small. They'll all be sleeping in the same room so it will be close quarters for both nights.

Ty Lee has the tiny seashell bed in the corner, Mai and Zuko have a couch-bed to share, and the largest bed, a full, is reserved for Azula alone. She'll need it, seeing as she hasn't gotten a solid night of sleep in months. Not since before their adventure to find Zuko began has she had a restful night. She always tosses and turns for hours before waking.

"We know you're upset that you were forced to come here this weekend," Li says.

Lo picks up, "But Ember Island is a magical place. Keep an open mind."

"Give it a chance," Li continues the cadance.

In unison now they say, "And it can help you understand yourselves and each other."

Sitting in this room are two star crossed lovers who are listening with intent to this message. Mai and Zuko, on the other hand, are not the least bit interested.

Lo grabs a rock on the table, "The beach as a special way…"

Li continues, "... of smoothing even the most ragged edges."

_Creak_

Ty Lee steps off of the bed and stares at Azula as they say this. The Princess yawns in response to their speech. Suddenly both Lo and Li clap twice, "Time to hit the beach."

They rip off their robes to reveal sagging bathing suits and all four teens feel sweat drop at the awkwardness. Azula summarily dismisses them. The group decides to change and prepare to head down for a day of sunbathing. As they all take turns changing in the bathroom, Ty Lee considers all of the tension around the room. Everyone is at weird places emotionally.

Mai's aura hasn't changed from it's grey color, in spite of all this time she now has had with Zuko. Meanwhile, Zuko is super on edge, and they're all walking on eggshells around him. Well, Ty Lee is anyway. Azula and Mai don't even pay it any special attention. Ty Lee just doesn't want to be the thing or person to set him off.

_'And then there's Azula…'_

The rift between them hurts her deeply. She wants to reclaim their moment in Ba Sing Se. She would give anything to get it back and do it over again. But it's been so long now, and Azula has effectively iced her out. It's like their traveling together had never happened. They almost felt like strangers now. For this, Azula is most proud of herself. She has recalibrated her relationship with Ty Lee into its rightful place as a friendship at arm's length.

Yet, in spite of herself, when Ty Lee steps out of the bathroom in her bikini, Azula stares. She maintains her poise but still she shoots unintentional longing looks. Her eyes grow wider each time she sneaks a glance. _'Keep it together!'_ She tells herself. The group collect their belongings and head down to the beach.

* * *

"Hey, you need some help unpacking?"

"Sure. Thanks."

Ty Lee hands the strange boy her bag and he falls over from its weight. Azula lays her own blanket out and her eyes keep returning to the brunette. The boy throws everything out of the bag until he finds a blanket. Seeing this boy give Ty Lee all his attention makes her irrationally mad. It only gets worse when soon another boy comes and does the same. Azula doesn't blame them for trying to win her attention.

_'I mean, just look at her. She's the prettiest girl in the world.'_

Azula watches with envy as Ty Lee is lauded and fawned over. But she never once says anything to her or them. Why would she? It's not her business. None of it is her business. If Ty Lee wants to flirt, or hang out, or hold hands, or kiss six different boys, then she fully can for all Azula cares.

At some point amidst all of this, Ty Lee steals her own glance at Azula sunbathing. She notes that her aura is red, but with a hint of purple. It shocks her that no one even looks at Azula. She's beautiful and elegant and powerful. Yet no one looks her way. No one except Ty Lee, of course.

_'Azula is like the sun. No one can stare at her for very long. Everyone revolves around her. Everyone needs her. People use her for their own different reasons. But no one dares to get too close to her, for fear of being burned alive.'_

A short while later Azula decides to take out her pent up rage on the kuai ball court. As they prepare to start, Azula beckons their acrobatic friend to join them. She says her name out loud for the first time in months.

"Ty Lee get over here now!"

The brunette obeys the command from her Princess. She's happy to abandon all of the boys surrounding her. She takes the time on her way over though to walk on her hands. She does this to impress them and the one who calls to her. She wants Azula to notice the attention she's getting. She wants her to be jealous.

With Azula's leadership, the team destroys all that oppose them. At the end, Azula speaks about defeating them for all time, but stops short of going over the top with her celebration. They walk off the court after accidentally burning the net down. A pair of boys approach Ty Lee.

"I'm having a party tonight. You should come by."

Ty Lee chirps back, "Sure. I love parties."

The boys motion towards Mai and add, "Your friend can come too."

A little hurt and a lot agitated, Azula approaches, "Uh… what about me and my brother? Aren't you going to invite us?"

Even Azula has to acknowledge the desperation in her voice. Seeing Ty Lee get all of this interest from boys has started to get under her skin. The boys look at one another a second, uncertain. Azula realizes something. She questions them, "You don't know who we are, do you?"

The boys laugh this off. "Don't you know who _we_ are? We're Chan and Roun-Jian."

"Yeah."

_'They have no idea who they're dealing with,'_ Ty Lee thinks.

Zuko begins stepping menacingly towards them before Azula puts her hand up to block him. She enjoys the idea of being an unknown entity, exactly as she had been while walking around Ba Sing Se. She likes being underestimated. Azula's aura becomes a shade of forest green. The boys agree to invite them both, and Ty Lee looks forward to seeing how Azula acts as just another face in the crowd.

* * *

"All right, listen. My dad's an admiral. He has no idea I'm having this party, so don't mess anything up."

The gang has arrived early to the party at the direction of Azula. She had heard they would be partying from dusk until dawn, and thought it prudent to be on time. Ty Lee and Mai knew better, but who were they to correct their Princess?

Azula finds the boy in charge to be appealing. He's handsome enough, but she's more interested in him as the leader of others. He could prove to be a strong partner in the political sphere in the long-run. A not so small part of her is also trying to project earlier envy onto the girl striding beside her.

"That's a sharp outfit, Chan. Careful. You could puncture the hull of an empire-class Fire Nation battleship, leaving thousands to drown at sea… because it's so sharp."

"Um… thanks."

He turns and leaves Azula alone with her friends. It is painfully awkward and Azula just wishes she was different; wishes she could impress him. She's flustered by her failure, and dinner had not helped. Ty Lee had sat beside her and they had their back to the sunset. It had been during golden hour. She couldn't stop staring at her, couldn't stop talking to her, couldn't stop thinking about her. Separated from all of those wandering eyes at the beach, Azula preferred having her all to herself.

_'Agni damn it. I just need to move on. Find someone, anyone else.'_

Roun-Jian approaches to greet them.

* * *

Ty Lee loves attention. She couldn't have succeeded as the star attraction at a circus without being okay with it. She is used to being the most interesting thing that anyone in the room is looking at. Yet even for her, this is maybe too much. Cornered by five boys from the beach earlier in the day, she comes to think that perhaps she had bit off more than she could chew.

"Look, i-it doesn't matter who I met first, 'cause I like you all," she tries to reason with them, cowering, her heart beating faster.

"But which one of us do you _like_?"

Ty Lee hears the question. It registers in her brain. She scans across all of them. In the gap between two of them, in the distance she finds the answer. A girl with black hair stands alone in the center of everything. She seems to be having the most _miserable_ time. Ty Lee knows the true answer to the boys' question.

And it isn't any of them.

_'Chase the dragon.'_

"I don't know! I don't know!"

She swiftly punches each of them in pressure points. They're too close and caught off-guard to even react. A few seconds later they all fall down, and Ty Lee flips out of the corner. She walks right through the crowd towards the princess. Towards _her_ princess. As she approaches, she finds Azula's aura has become a deep purple.

"Oh, I'm glad you're here. Those boys won't leave me alone. I guess they all just like me too much."

Ty Lee likes the attention. Not because she is self-centered or because it feeds her ego. She likes to feel like she's special to someone. She likes to be wanted. She likes to be needed. But she wants to be needed by Azula. She wants to be Azula's special person, not the boys'.

"C'mon, Ty Lee, you can't be _this_ ignorant."

_'What?'_

The brunette blushes and looks away, "What are you talking about?"

She had wanted to tease Azula, and maybe elicit a response from her. If saying the boys liked her pushed Azula closer to saying something similar, as Ty Lee hoped, it would be worth it. Now though? She fears that she's about to be scolded.

In Azula's eyes, it's painfully obvious. "Those boys only like you because you make it so easy for them. You're not a challenge, you're a tease."

There is a brief pause as these words sink in. Each one felt like a small whip of flame from Azula's hand, smacking against Ty Lee's heart. She is truly hurt by this before Azula even finishes her thought.

"It's not like they actually care who you are."

The tears stream out of her before she can think of anything else.

_'Is this how she feels about me? Is she only friends with me because it's easy?'_

They had spent almost 100 days together and 51 days apart, by Ty Lee's math. Those fifty-one days had been exceptionally hard. Ever since Azula rejected Ty Lee's runaway plan things had fallen apart. Nothing of what she wanted has happened.

Perhaps she shouldn't have taken the fall on purpose. Maybe she should've kept her balance. Maybe she'd still be at the circus. Maybe she'd be happier. Maybe she'd still be here with Azula. But the idea that Azula doesn't actually care about Ty Lee is what devastates her.

She had chased the dragon for so long. And now, in a moment, she is burned alive by the dragon. Ty Lee is learning now. She knows better, she knows she shouldn't be chasing the dragon. Punching all of those boys so she could storm over here and win Azula back? When she hasn't really spoken to her since that night?

Ty Lee couldn't help herself. This self-destructive behavior of hers won't let her quit it.

"Okay, okay, calm down," something warm grabs hold of her.

Ty Lee blinks through fresh tears and looks down. The hands holding hers send warm sensations up her arms and into her body. She traces their path and looks up into that old, familiar gold. Azula holds her hands for the first time since that night and it feels right. Looking down at them though, Azula remembers. _'The touch of the sun.'_ She releases them.

"I didn't mean what I said," she lies.

Azula really did mean it. Those boys only like her because she is pretty. _She_ knows who Ty Lee is, maybe better than she knows herself.

Ty Lee is warm and kind. She's the type of girl to wander off into the woods and screech into the nothing. Azula knows why she ran away from the circus, and she knows how she still wants to run when things are too good to be true.

How she looks up into the sky at night, and if she sees some stars aligned, then she will see visions of her future husband. Azula knows how she wants to be weightless when life is so heavy. She knows her biggest fear is to end up alone. How she dreams of home. She knows about the little house with a red door and a lemon tree in the Earth Kingdom, where she can experience all four seasons.

She knows that she thinks there's more water than air in a waterskin. How she doesn't want to end up in a matched set. How she has to meditate so she can smooth out her aura before bed or as soon as she wakes up, and sometimes even both. How she thinks it's natural and healthy to cry. How she talked about running away or going on vacation after the war. How she has traveled all over the world with the Fire Nation circus. How she loves jennamite & dancing in public. How she wants to adopt because she doesn't want a child to be lacking for attention.

_'How no one searched for her, but I found her.'_

Truthfully this time, Azual tells her, "Look maybe I just said it because I was a little… _jealous_."

It isn't Ty Lee that Azula is jealous of. It's the boys that Ty Lee seems to want. She's jealous of Ty Lee spending all of her time with them. Azula's aura cycles through a myriad of bright and dark colors

"What! You're jealous of me? But you're the most beautiful, smartest, perfect girl in the world!"

Ty Lee means every word sincerely. She had thought all of them at different times while they traveled together. But Azula can't help but think that those compliments are more applicable to Ty Lee herself. After all, she had thought all of them about her at different points during their time together. Still, she hides behind her persona.

"You're right about those things. But for some reason when I meet boys they act like I'm going to do something horrible to them."

If those boys didn't _really_ know Ty Lee, then what did any boy know about Azula? What _person_ would ever want to know more about Azula? Her aura finally settles in a light grey.

_'How could somebody ever love me?'_

"But you probably would do something horrible to them."

_'To them? Maybe. To her? Never.'_

"I'm sure they're just intimidated by you."

_'Is that the only reason Ty Lee stays by me? Because she's intimidated? Or does she stay because she isn't intimidated?'_

"Okay! Look, if you want a boy to like you, just look at him and smile a lot, and laugh at everything he says, even if it's not funny."

Azula flashes back to their many months together. How she learned Ty Lee's laugh. How it echoed into the night, or bounced off of empty room walls, or inside of tents. Had she done this with Azula? Did she just laugh to fill the air with noise?

"Well that sounds really shallow and stupid."

_'I've done enough damage to this friendship lately,'_ she thinks and extends an olive branch.

"Let's try it!"

"Okay," Ty Lee gets very excited. She mocks herself as a fake party boy. Leaning up against the wall by Azula she asks, "Hey there sweet sugar cakes. How you liking this party?"

Azula tries to force a laugh, but it's so obnoxious that the whole party stops to look at the couple. Ty Lee giggles and shakes her head at Azula's base flirting skills. _'All that skill and power and she can't flirt with boys to save her life.'_ She grabs Azula by the arm and drags her away from everyone's prying eyes so they can get something to drink. For Azula, between the compliments, and the lesson, and the pose that Ty Lee just made, she feels the butterflies rising once again.

* * *

"Is this your first time on Ember Island?" Chan asks her.

"No," she says. The memories crash against her. A lifetime ago, when Zuko could smile. When they were a family. "I used to come here years ago."

"It's a great place, if you like sand."

_'-and laugh at everything he says, even if it's not funny.'_

Azula forces a giggle. Chan thinks it authentic.

"Yeah, it's like, welcome to Sandy Land!"

He comes and stands beside her. He is feeling a moment. Azula expects her heart to race. She expects the butterflies to float up and suffocate her. She has never been kissed and this might be it. He leans against her.

_'just look at him and smile a lot'_

"Your arms look _so_ strong," she coos at him.

"Yeah, I know," he replies.

He flexes his muscles for a moment. Then he turns to her. Before she knows what's happening he's leaning towards her. He comes all the way towards her head. With his eyes closed, his lips lead the way. Her head recoils a moment as he pushes his lips against hers.

This is it! She is doing it! It's happening for her. She is… not sure what to do? He is pushing against her and opening his mouth a bit. His wet lips encompass hers and she doesn't move. She doesn't let him in, because she doesn't know what she's doing and this entire concept was foreign to her before this moment.

After a few seconds, he pulls away, satisfied for now with where this is going. He thinks maybe next time she'll make out with him. He better pay her a compliment so he can get another shot at her, "You're pretty."

_'In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys.'_

This is what she's always needed, what she's always lacked. He doesn't know that she can firebend, doesn't know about her status. He is choosing her because she is _strong_ on her own.

"Together," she starts. She pulls back, "you and I will be the strongest couple in the entire world!"

She ignites the powerful blue flames in each hand, "We will dominate the Earth!"

This is her moment. She will reveal herself to him and together they will rise. They will be unstoppable together. Chan stares at her bewildered, "Uh ... I got to go."

He quickly exits before she can say or do anything else. She watches him go. He leaves her out on the balcony alone. _'Little girls like little boys'_ did not mean that the little boys had to like the little girls back.

Azula suddenly feels incredibly small. She feels every bit the little girl that she is. Here at this party she didn't want to be the Seed of Sozin. She thought she could be just a 14 year old girl, and have that be enough. She believes now, more than ever, that she is nothing without her status and power

_'How could somebody ever love me?'_

* * *

"I thought I'd find you here."

Zuko doesn't look up as he replies, "Those summers we spent here seem so long ago… so much has changed."

"Come down to the beach with me," Azula suggests, turning sideways and opening a hand out to invite him. "C'mon. This place is depressing."

She steps away and he slowly stands up to follow. He quickly steps to catch up and they walk beside each other down a narrow pathway to the beach. Azula's mind runs through her horrendous night. She wishes in this moment that they had the type of relationship where they could talk about it together. Where she could point out how they got no respect from their peers without their family name. Zuko is the only one who can relate. Ty Lee and Mai had been fine at the party and at the beach.

But they don't have that kind of relationship. She may love her brother, Ty Lee thought so at least, but she can't reach him. They can't reach each other. Azula offers an olive branch as they walk under the moon.

"Mai really likes you, ya know."

The memory of his girlfriend and all of their struggles from the day do not offer much relief to the teenage boy. He replies curtly, "Oh yeah, she _really_ showed it today by flirting with all of those other guys."

Azula's eyes peek down through the darkness at the crashing waves and her friends that await them. She fires back, "Don't be ridiculous. Even if she was, she clearly only cares about you."

"How can you say that?" Zuko starts, his eyes on the path forward. "It's not like you two are such great friends"

"Zuko, you idiot," she spits out. "I spent over 3 months traveling the world with her and Ty Lee. I think I know her _a little bit_."

They step down the stairs and kick sand up with each step. Zuko grumbles his response, unsure of what to say exactly. His lifelong rivalry with Azula makes him believe that he should return serve. He wants to 'win' the argument, even if he knows it's better for him if Azula is right.

He mumbles out, "Well, it still bothered me."

Azula rolls her eyes and tells him, "Can you think of someone else beside yourself for one Agni forsaken second? How do you think _she_ felt? With you watching her like a war hawk all day long."

"I _don't_ know how she feels, Azula," he tells her. His voice has a renewed vigor. The frustration grows. "That's the problem. I never do. She doesn't share any emotion, ever!"

Azula briefly reflects on what she told Ty Lee right before they found Mai in New Ozai.

_"Indeed. If you don't have opinions that you care about and stand by, then you're just going to float through life as poison to everyone who cares about anything. You're not placating_ anyone _; you're annoying_ everyone _."_

She reflects on this and how it had shaped her own relationship with Mai. She thinks about how they managed to work together for all that time. She offers to him with a voice of sincerity, "You need to take what she gives you. I don't think it's easy for her. So if she gives you _some_ emotion, run with it."

Azula offering him words of advice is not exactly how Zuko pictured his night going. He huffs, "I don't need your help."

Azula stops at a landing suddenly. Her brother comes to a halt beside her. She looks at him and waits for his eye contact.

"No, you don't. But I gave it to you anyway," she tells him. His narrowed eyes soften in the dim light. "Maybe you can repay the favor someday."

Without waiting for him to try and bite her head off, Azula starts off again down the final sets of stairs. Zuko pauses a moment longer. His sister offering help benevolently?

_'This night just keeps getting weirder.'_

* * *

Agast, Ty Lee asks, "What are you doing?"

Defiantly, Zuko replies, "What does it look like I'm doing?

"But, it's a painting of your family."

"You think I care?"

"I think you do."

"You don't know me, so why don't you just mind your own business?"

Defeated, she scoffs and replies weakly, "I know you."

She's not sure if she believes it herself. He certainly doesn't. "No, you don't. You're stuck in your little 'Ty Lee World,' where everything's great all the time"

A fire rises in Azula as her brother attacks her friend. She cuts in, threatening him, "Zuko, leave her alone."

He does not relent. He imitates her as he walks away, "I'm so pretty, look at me. I can walk on my hands. Whoo!"

He does handstand and stares at her from across the fire. They hold this eye contact for a moment before he falls on his back. From the ground he calls out, "Circus freak."

Mai giggles a little at this but tries to hide it. Ty Lee notices all the same. The fire within Azula rages to a new height. She shouts at him, "Zuko."

"Yes, I'm a circus freak. Go ahead and laugh all you want. You want to know _why_ I joined the circus?"

Mai nearly jumps out of her seat. She sits up and leans towards her and says, "YES!"

The moment she has been waiting for has finally arrived. Ty Lee refused to tell her for months while they searched for Zuko. Now she's just offering to tell them! Tears fill her eyes as she prepares to unleash this part of herself on them. Meanwhile, Azula's eyes grow large. She sees the pain in her face, the build up of tension in her cheeks and nose. The wrinkles forming near her eyes as she becomes misty eyed.

' _Here we go.'_ Azula thinks. ' _She's really going to tell them too.'_

"Do you have any idea what my home life was like?" She starts by asking. No one dares answer.

"Growing up with six sisters who look exactly like me? It was like I didn't even have my own _name_."

Azula's hand unconsciously reaches for her necklace. She fiddles with it as she listens to the girl profess her hurt. "I joined the circus because I was scared of spending the rest of my life as part of a matched set. At least I'm different now."

She falls to the ground on all fours in pain and looks down. Growing bolder now, she looks up across the fire back at Zuko. She shouts, "'Circus freak' is a compliment!"

Without missing a beat Mai jumps in, "Guess that explains why you need 10 boyfriends, too."

Azula narrows her eyes at this and remembers all the attention Ty Lee got before. How _jealous_ she was earlier today and tonight. What Mai said had intended to cut deep, and Azula isn't sure how she feels about the burn it will leave on Ty Lee.

"I'm sorry, WHAT?" Ty Lee wheels on her friend. A rage building quickly.

"Attention issues? You didn't get enough attention as a kid so you're trying to make up for it now."

Azula feels like this is cutting but probably true. Mai was lethal when she decided to be. Ty Lee digs for the most painful thing she can say.

"Well, what's your excuse, Mai? You were an only child for 15 years. But even with all that attention your aura is still this stingy, pasty, grey..."

The argument turns in circles to each of them. Ty Lee puts her foot in her mouth about bad skin at one point and Zuko freaks out about it. He blows the bonfire into a pillar. He says he's mad at himself. Something about this rings home to Azula. Zuko also says that he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong anymore. After losing it, he and Mai share a tender moment.

After this display of affectionate, Azula, sick of all the emotions and nonsense, says, "Well, those were wonderful performances, everyone."

"I guess you wouldn't understand, would you, Azula?" Zuko asks. "Because you're just _so_ perfect."

Ty Lee can tell he's trying to dig at her. She thinks about the Princess that she has come to know. _'She is, but she isn't. She's perfect in everyone else's eyes, but she hides her true self from the rest of them. She's shown me the cracks in her armor.'_

"Well, yes, I guess you're right. I don't have sob stories like all of you." She boasts.

"I could sit here and complain how our mom liked Zuko more than me, but I don't really care." She lies.

"My own mother," she stares into the embers of the fire that Zuko has blown out. She remembers Zuko and Ursa, sitting alone. The shameful tone she would speak to Azula with. The accusatory eyes. The setting sun. The seat in the garden. The burned down moon flower. The ashes falling from her hand.

"... thought I was a monster."

Azula's aura just about disappears. It smolders until it's almost gone. A moment passes as she stares into the fire pit.

"She was right of course, but it still hurt."

_'No. That's not true.'_ Ty Lee thinks. _'Is that really what she thinks about herself?'_

She wishes she could help Azula. Help her to not see a monster, but a hero. To look herself in the eye and know that she is perfect the way she is. _'And that would be enough.'_

Azula's aura rekindles a dark red. Maybe Ty Lee could help her move that red away from the black and into the white.

"What Lo and Li said came true. The beach did help us learn about ourselves," Ty Lee says. She picks up a stone at her side. "I feel all smoothed. I'll always remember this."

Azula sits with this and says nothing. She simply thinks about their trip. How she has missed Ty Lee's positivity. She thinks that perhaps she had treated her too harshly since Ba Sing Se. Maybe she can still make this right this weekend.

Ty Lee feels her own aura slip into a rougher, lighter red. She wishes she could crack Azula's head open, see what's inside. See what she's thinking. See why she thinks of herself as a monster.

While the fire has gone out in front of them, a new one is ignited within Ty Lee's soul. She has found a new purpose for their weekend together. Talk to Azula again, and help her to finally see herself the way Ty Lee sees her. Tonight, she will chase the dragon once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Stick with this for chapter 9, because we're not quite done at the bonfire yet. This Chapter's OST is "when the party's over" by Billie Eilish. This song is the only repeated song from the "Autumn Ends" OST to the "Touch of the Sun" OST. It's great writing music and just really hits me hard, personally.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	9. Trust Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula and Ty Lee go for a long walk on the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Trust Me**

The last of the bonfire embers go cold and leave the teens in the dark. Water crashes against the shore nearby, supplying the only sound as they sit in reflective quiet. Only the moonlight shines upon them now. Ty Lee gathers her courage as the others straighten themselves up.

"I'm going to stay and smooth out my aura," she announces to a mostly indifferent audience. She feels her heart beat faster as she says aloud, "Will someone stay so I don't have to walk back alone?"

Azula and Mai make eye contact at this request. Zuko will obviously not be the one to sit with her. Azula is conflicted about this and unsure what she should do. She felt something just a second ago and is interested in mending the bridge. _'But this late at night? Just to watch her meditate?'_ She briefly considers wielding her influence over Mai to force her hand.

"Azula, a word?" Mai asks.

Surprised, Azula nods apprehensively. They step a few paces away until they're beyond earshot. Mai looks with pleading eyes, "Please, Azula, can you stay with her?"

"Why? Why did we need to step away for you to say that?" Suspicions run deep.

"I just, I want some alone time with Zuko," she says and Azula immediately feels awkward. "He's going through a lot, and I think he'll open up to me if it's just the two of us."

Azula nods her head and thinks of her brother. She thinks about his outburst just a moment ago to ignite and ultimately extinguish the fire. Azula had called him pathetic, and that was probably too harsh. He said he doesn't know what's right or wrong and that worries Azula. When she had offered her hand to him in Ba Sing Se, she suspected that he had doubts. Perhaps he still has doubts. Azula had no such problem. She always knew which course of action to take; that's what separated them.

"Azula, please," Mai begs her when she doesn't get an answer. "Just don't come back right away. Give me some time to talk to him."

"Alright," she relents. "I'll kill time with Ty Lee."

* * *

In the dimly lit light of the beach side, Azula sits on a rock formation and tries not to stare. Ty Lee sits cross legged, her hands out in front of her, and lets the day wash over her. She lets her pain and her frustrations run through her like a river. She releases the hurt. It crashes down upon her again and again and she feels her aura smooth over. She breathes deeply, taking long inhales, holding them, and then slowly exhaling.

_'In through the nose, out through the mouth.'_

Against her better judgement, Azula watches her meditate. She watches her hold her breath for a few seconds before releasing it. She sees a girl at peace with the world. She sees someone letting go. If she had been paying attention to her aura, she may have seen the colors changing. Instead, Azula watches as Ty Lee's chest rises and falls with each breath. She looks directly at the little bow at the center of her top, with pieces falling down. How they went up with each inhale and down with each exhale. She tries to look away but being here alone with her at last, it's hard.

Her eyes linger until she abandons all decorum. The choker necklace, the exposed belly button. The wristbands to complete her look. Her braided ponytail cascading down the back. Azula stares at her like it's her first time seeing the sun.

Ty Lee opens her eyes into Azula's, and smiles. Azula quickly looks away and grows flush with red. Ty Lee noted how wide her eyes were looking at her, but doesn't understand why or why Azula looks away now. Nonetheless, she stands up and begins walking towards the Princess.

"Alright, ready to head back?"

"Not quite," Azula replies. She looks up at Ty Lee as the acrobat stops and stands over her. Azula consciously stares up at her face, trying to avoid letting her eyes dip below her neck. "Mai asked for some time alone with Zuzu."

"Oh? Well, what should we do then?"

Azula looks back at the water for a moment. She replies, "Shall we walk down for a bit?"

Ty Lee also now looks out at the rolling tide. She replies, "Sounds perfect."

Azula stands up, refusing to look at Ty Lee, and begins walking out in front of her. The brunette catches up instantly to stride beside her in rhythm as they move away from the beach house.

* * *

Ty Lee is on Azula's right, striding closer to the water as it rolls up. She enjoys the cool sensation as it washes over her feet and sandals. She eyes her friend up and playfully says, "C'mon, Azula, get your feet wet!"

She clasps onto Azula's arm and quickly jerks her towards the water. Azula is caught off guard and can't brace her footwork in the sand. She is carried forward by the strength of Ty Lee's arms, "Wait, wait-"

A flash of moonlight reflects off of the water. It is barely a ghost of themselves that Azula sees, but she sees it all the same. Her foot presses into the ground with the strength of an earthbender. "Ty Lee, no," she yells and pulls her arm back. The brunette's strength is greater, but she quickly releases her grip as Azula shouts, "Stop!"

Azula steps away hastily. Her agitation grows as Ty Lee silently now walks beside her. She looks at Azula for a moment then looks ahead. She quickly offers, "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you angry."

"I'm not angry," Azula huffs back.

"I'm sor-"

"Why does everyone always say that I'm angry?"

"Huh?"

Azula vents her frustrations, "I'm not angry but then people say that I'm angry and _that_ makes me angry. _Then_ I get angry and they blame me for being angry and acting out."

She takes a breath as they walk on. Her voice returns with less force now, "Why do they say that? Why does everyone think I'm angry?"

Ty Lee doesn't know how to answer so she doesn't. The quiet suffocates Azula's fire. Somberly she admits, "Maybe I am angry."

The acrobat steps in sync with the princess and thinks what's been said is too heavy for her. She can't just leave it alone either though. She searches her brain and an old quote rises to the top.

She broaches the silence between them, "At the circus there was this older lady, her name was Elphee. She had the cutest pet and she was so wise. And she once told me, 'people will always try to darken things that shine brightest,' and I think that's why that happens to you."

Azula looks at Ty Lee's side profile as they walk along. This quote sticks to her and she thinks about why her friend is bringing this up. Ty Lee summons all of her bravery to her chest _. 'Have to say this next part, have to say it, even if it scares her off.'_ She prepares to put out into the world the internal thought she has clung to for so long.

"Azula," she pauses. Louder now she continues,"I think you're a lot like the sun!"

Ty Lee takes a breath and waits. Azula peeks at her again but doesn't think much of it. She jokes, "Why's that? Because I'm awake when it rises and we can both use fire?"

"Ha! No, not that. You're bright and powerful and you're always there for me and everyone else. I know you act like you only look out for yourself, but really you'd do anything for your friends," she tells her. Azula can't look directly at her as she says this. It was oddly personal in ways that she couldn't explain. Ty Lee adds, "And yes, the fire definitely helps."

Azula had thought such high praise of herself for most of her life. Tonight though she feels no such shining pride. She thinks back to being 3 feet tall, standing on the balcony alone after Chan left her. She explains to Ty Lee, "I don't know. I don't think I'm much of anything without my family and titles."

"That is _not_ true!" Ty Lee flat out rejects this. She peers at her friend sideways as they walk through the dark. "What is with you tonight?

"What do you mean?"

"You're so down on yourself, and it's just not like you," she answers. "That just now, the angry thing and earlier about being a monster. None of those things are true, Azula. You're not _worthless_. You're not _angry_. You're not a _monster_."

"Oh, I assure you, Ty Lee, I am definitely a monster," she replies. Quietly she adds, "I might even be the end of the Fire Nation."

"What'd you say?" Ty Lee asks, having not quite heard. Azula had barely mumbled it and the rolling tide had drowned the words at sea.

"Nothing," she assures the brunette.

Trying to refocus her efforts, Ty Lee asks,"Why do you think you're a monster?"

"Ty Lee, we hardly have to discuss it," she cooly replies.

"But I want to. I want to understand you better," Ty Lee cuts her off. Her voice is sincere. "Why do you think you're a monster?"

"I… I just do. I'm not like other people," she replies truthfully. Her voice is uncertain. "I'm... built different."

Ty Lee digs for answers, "Did your mother ever say anything to you to make you think that?"

_"In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys."_

"No." She lies.

"Then why do you say she thought you were a monster?"

"I guess it was how she treated me. How everyone treats me, really." Azula says.

_'Why am I telling her this? Why am I doing this?'_

She looks at Ty Lee. Those grey-brown eyes meet hers and implore her to go on. Looking into those eyes, she feels safe. She can share her inner turmoil. She does not need to carry it alone. She takes a deep breath.

"Everyone thinks my life is _so_ great. That I'm good at everything. But I don't think anything has ever truly been mine," she looks out across the water as the waves crash. "I'm the former Crown Princess, Ty Lee. A Firebending prodigy. The Child of Ozai and the Seed of Sozin. After Zuko, I'm next in line to the throne. My life is 'perfect.'"

Ty Lee just listens. She keeps her eyes trained on Azula as she looks about. Mostly, though, she just looks down at the sand as they walk onward.

"But no one has any idea what my life was like with my mother. She and my father and my uncle, everyone except for Zuko, they've always kept me at arm's length. Close, but never too close. So they can watch me, but far enough that they're safe. Like I'm some _animal_ in a _cage_."

She speaks these last few words with venom. The thought has been developing in her mind for so long she doesn't even remember when she first came up with it. She just knows it comes from a dark place. Now she speaks it into a dark place with her best friend.

"It's why I can't trust people," she admits. "I don't see how it's possible. Fear is a far more reliable way to get people to help you."

"Do you do that with me?" Ty Lee asks. It cracks from her voice like glass about to break.

Azula recalls her self consciousness at the party earlier. She shoots back, "Do you laugh even when what I said isn't funny?"

Ty Lee had figured this question might come up after her advice earlier in the night. Confidently she replies, "Never."

"Not once?" Azula asks, looking sideways at her.

"Not once," she reassures her with her words and her tone. "Now your turn: do you use fear to control me?"

Azula grows silent. She doesn't answer, because she's not sure. She knows that she has abused her power, influence, and authority over her friend. She feels guilty for it. But fear? _Has_ she used fear to control her?

When she doesn't answer, Ty Lee asks, "Do you trust me?"

"No, I don't trust anyone," but not even Azula believes the words anymore.

Ty Lee comes to a stop. She reaches up and grips Azula's forearm to stop her from walking away. Azula stops and looks at the hand wrapped around her bicep. It was so cool to the touch. It gave her comfort. She looks into those grey-brown eyes again.

Ty Lee stares into the golden pools. She tries to express herself through her tone, "I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you ever want to talk, or," her hand slips down Azula's arm. Almost to her hand, "anything."

Just as her hand is about to clasp Azula's, the Princess pulls it away apprehensively. She averts her eyes. Ty Lee wonders if she had said or done something wrong.

Azula looks away and says, "We should turn back and head home. We've given them plenty of time to be alone."

Without another word they turn around and go back the way they came. A few moments pass in silence as they walk back towards the beach house. Ty Lee still wonders if she has done something to upset the Princess. Azula thinks of what Ty Lee had said. She thinks back on her life and her life gone. She works up the courage. She clears her throat.

"Ahem, you said we can talk about anything?"

Ty Lee springs to life at this, her steps suddenly lighter. "Yes! Anything!"

"I've always felt like I can't trust the people who are closest to me. But what do I do if they all leave me? What if they get sick of me one day and just leave me? Or I," she pauses. She's already said so much, she might as well finish it. "Or if I push them away forever? You know? But fear… it's all I've ever known. I don't know how to be different. I _can't_ be different."

Ty Lee stops and looks at her. She knows this struggle. The desire to be different. The fear of being the same as everyone else. She has battled her own demons in that regard. She will help Azula to be different, if that's what Azula wants. Azula reluctantly stops and looks back at her friend. She's not close enough this time for Ty Lee to hold. Her eyes are distant and Ty Lee wishes she could pull the moon closer just so she could use the light to see the color of Azula's golden eyes better.

"They won't do that, Azula."

Dismissively, Azula replies, "You don't know that."

"You're right. I can't speak for them," Ty Lee concedes, nodding her head. "But I can speak for myself. So take comfort and know this: _I_ won't leave you."

Azula can't help but smile at this. She turns away and looks out at the expanse of the ocean and the endless cosmos. The moon beams down upon them. Ty Lee had told her about the sun earlier. Azula decides to repay the comparison.

"Ya know, I used to imagine, when we were apart, that when I looked up at the moon, that you would be looking up at it too," she huffs a breath out. "It's a ridiculous thought of course."

"Of course it's _not_. It's a beautiful thought!" Ty Lee interrupts her. She stares at the Princess and she is shining. Her necklace, her clothes, her body language. It was all so luminous. "Although we were separated, we shared the same moonlight, Azula."

Azula turns to her with a giant smile. Her aura is violet color. She feels eight feet tall to hear Ty Lee say these things. Ty Lee grins back at her. Azula turns away to hide her blush and walks on again. Ty Lee steps to catch up once more.

* * *

They walk on for a long time without saying anything. It is a comfortable quiet that encompasses them. They had both arrived that morning wanting to come back together and mend the bridge between them. They go into the last day of their weekend together having succeeded in that goal.

They are almost home when Azula looks up into the night sky and spots a familiar friend. She points up, leans over and says to Ty Lee, "Look, it's Ruki's Bird."

The brunette looks up as well and smiles at the sight. "Sure is."

"And Mai isn't here to steal the question from me."

"She isn't. So what do you want to know, Azula?"

The beach house is finally within sight. Azula's mind wanders to a thought that she doesn't like. She tries to shake it free, but it traps her like glue. The more she struggles against it, the harder it pulls her in. She finally asks,

"What are you going to do if this guy shows up finally, and you're with someone else?"

_'And what if that someone else was…'_

Ty Lee stares up at Ruki's Bird. She doesn't blink. She doesn't hesitate. She knows the answer. " _Nothing_ would stop me from giving it a try."

Azula nods and looks away, back up at the constellations. She should be more hurt by that answer, but for some reason she isn't. She also isn't sure why the thought wouldn't quit her. She brushes it off and focuses on the higher spirits and the heavy things that are behind them now.

Ty Lee wants to change topics and lighten the mood. She reflects on their day together and asks, "So, did you have fun tonight, Azula?"

"Some things were better than others," she says mischievously. "I wish we had gone back to the house party and trashed it.

"Oh that's bad, but I totally would've done it."

They giggle about this. Ty Lee wants to prod a little bit. She wonders if she can get Azula to admit their long walk had been one of the 'better' parts. She asks, "Anything else particularly good or bad?"

Azula doesn't forget easily. She figures she should tell one of her friends, and Ty Lee was less likely to mock her than Mai. She confides, "I kissed that boy, Chan."

"YOU WHAT!"

Ty Lee can't stop herself. This news was completely unexpected and has caught her fully off guard. _'Was this a better part? Was it good? Did she enjoy it? When did this happen? Why wasn't I there?'_ Ty Lee doesn't even feel it, but her aura roars into a bright, crimson red. She tries to settle it but there's not much she can do when it gets this far off base, short of meditating or screeching.

_'Screeching would be great right now, actually.'_

"How was it? What happened? You have to tell me everything! Wait, was that your first kiss?"

Silently the violet of Azula's aura slides into a lilac hue. Sheepishly she replies, "It was extremely awkward and just strange. Nothing like what people have said it would be."

"What did you think it would be like?"

"Not this." She quips and they laugh.

Azula picks back up, "I used all the tips that you gave me. I looked at him a lot, and smiled, and laughed at his _pathetic_ joke. And I got it, Ty Lee. It finally happened for me. But…"

She trails off and stares down. Ty Lee notices and asks, "But what?"

"It just felt wrong. I don't know if I-"

Azula keeps talking but the brunette isn't paying attention anymore. She stares out at the ocean. She watches a wave crest.

_'Chase the dragon.'_

Her eyes turn to the golden ones. "Maybe you didn't do it right?"

"-and I think… what?" Azula stops mid-sentence.

"How did you do it?"

"I-I don't know? I just did?"

_'Chase the dragon!'_

"Can you show me?" Ty Lee comes to a stop and so does Azula.

"Can I-?" But Azula's brain has short circuited. She stares into those old, familiar grey-brown eyes with confusion. Her heart beats against her chest.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"Do you want to try with me?" Ty Lee asks, a sweetness in her voice. "You know, so I can maybe help you or something?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"We, I, we-"

"Think of it as practice for your future spouse."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"Practice?"

"Like your fire bending. You only get better by practicing. Maybe we can practice together?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"I-I don't know if we should, Ty Lee."

_'Take the plunge.'_

_'Chase the dragon.'_

_'When an important moment comes, you can not hesitate. You have to attack it with conviction.'_

Ty Lee shuts her eyes. She turns her nose upward and turns her head away from the ex-Crown Princess. "I guess you just won't be a good kisser then."

Affronted, Azula sternly asks her, "Excuse me?"

Ty Lee begins turning her body away from the child of Ozai. "Like you said earlier, people just assume you're good at everything but that's not true. I guess kissing is just going to be one of those things you're not good at."

Ty Lee takes a step away from the seed of Sozin. She steps towards the beach house.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

_Clench!_

Ty Lee stops. She looks down and sees Azula's hand gripping her left wrist. "Azu-"

_Whip!_

Ty Lee's entire body is pulled away from the house. She tumbles through the sand until she crash lands into a seething hot body. Their torsos and arms entangle for a moment. Azula grips Ty Lee's wrist in her right hand, then raises her left hand and snags Ty Lee's right wrist. She holds tightly and pulls them up above the brunette's head.

Ty Lee looks into those old, familiar golden eyes and searches them. She sees excitement. She sees desperation. She sees a girl who is lost and doesn't know what she's doing right now. Ty Lee's smile broadens. She looks around them and sees a rock formation nearby. Azula holds her wrists above her head but Ty Lee is in charge. She steps backwards and Azula instinctively steps forward to follow.

Ty Lee hides them from any prying eyes that may be out after midnight. She leans back against the formation and let's Azula lean into her. They stand inches apart, drawing hushed breaths, their faces close together. Something important comes to Ty Lee, more important than this moment itself.

She whispers urgently, "Wait, wait!"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"What? Wait for what?" Azula can't barely control herself. She feels the coolness of Ty Lee's body against her. It calms the raging fire within, but she feels if she waits any longer the fire will expand and consume her.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula releases her wrists. Ty Lee lowers them until her right hand is on Azula's shoulder and her left hand is on her hip. Ty Lee stares into her eyes, searching them in the darkness. Finding them the way Azula found her after all those years.

"Do you trust me?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula pauses. She reflects on a lifetime of memories.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"I do." She gives the slightest nod of the head.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

A grateful smile dawns on her lips, "Good."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Ty Lee's right hand reaches up and knits itself into Azula's hair. Her left hand slinks to the small of her back. She pulls the back of her head towards her and their lips meet at long last.

Azula knows this feeling. She recognizes it from before. The heat rises in her heart. The power surges through her veins. This is the same feeling she had from a few years ago, when she first learned how to bend something other than fire. It cracks and rips through her and strengthens her and threatens to destroy her.

_'Electricity!'_

This is something Azula has been lacking her entire life. She has never known a moment like this. It is everything to her.

Although she has never bent any element, let alone lightning, Ty Lee feels something she has never felt before either. She doesn't know what it is yet, she can't quite describe it. But it is strong and powerful and it feels _good._

Their lips meet and part for a few moments and they are lost in this affair. Not even the sound of the rolling waves reaches them. Azula's hands rest on Ty Lee's hips, not knowing what to do or how to act. Ty Lee's hands roam, but not far. She pulls Azula closer, flush against her body.

The way Ty Lee's lips caress hers, play with hers, the bob of her head, is so different from earlier. Ty Lee opens her mouth slightly and presses her tongue outward, tickling Azula's closed lips. She opens her mouth and her tongue asks for consent to enter. Azula, learning suddenly and swiftly, tries opening her lips and then accepts the tongue coming in. She feels it lapping against her own. It was wrong earlier. It is right now. Ty Lee is affectionate and soft.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

She is not pushing.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

She is guiding.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Finally, Ty Lee pulls back for air. Azula doesn't know why she pulls back, but she is thankful for the breather. The Princess is beside herself. She wants to dive right back in. She wants the brunette to kiss her again. She wants her to guide the firebending prodigy. Ty Lee had taken what was hers, and now Azula wants to take what is hers, and then some.

Azula breathes out, "Whoa."

Ty Lee leans her forehead into Azula's. Her brown-grey eyes stare into the golden ones that glow in the dark. She breathes out, "I know."

Azula still wants to go again. She wants the brunette now more than she has ever wanted her. Knowing none of this, Ty Lee decides to take her ball and go home while she still has it. "Well, I, um, I think you have some work to do. I think we, you, um, can do better."

Azula nods her head in agreement and tries to cool down. Ty Lee adds, "We should practice more, erhm, in the future."

She slips her hands away from their grasp on her best friend. Azula takes a step back and nods in hasty agreement. She thinks through what the proper response would be and settles on, "That would please me."

Ty Lee steps closer to her, and whispers, "Well, I live to serve."

She quickly moves away from Azula. The black haired beauty looks up at the brunette. A pair of playful smiles and flirtatious stares meet one another. Ty Lee bites her lip, giggles, turns, and then begins skipping off towards the beach house.

Azula's aura slides into a lavender shade. She chases after the former circus star. They run home together.

* * *

_Creak_

The door to the bedroom opens slowly. The intruders are cautious about the dead silence on the other side. Azula peers into the dark trying to locate their friends. Leaning against her back, hands draped all over her, is Ty Lee. The brunette is also trying to peer into the dark, but mostly she is just taking advantage of the predicament as an excuse to hold onto the Princess.

Azula whispers, "I think they're asleep."

"So we'll be quiet," Ty Lee whispers into her ear. Her hot breath right in Azula's ear makes the hairs on her arms stand up.

They remain at the door and quietly discuss what they should do. The girls have much to talk about still. So much to discuss and think about and share. That's what they keep telling themselves anyway.

"Should we go down to the living room?" Azula asks.

"No, Lo and Li might wake up and find us."

"Ugh, true. So what do we do?"

"Let's get in the same bed together." Ty Lee proposes.

Azula is punch drunk from their 'practicing' on the beach. If she was in her right mind, she would have quickly explained why this was preposterous. But she's not in her right mind. She is intoxicated with the taste of her second kiss. Now she is ready to climb into bed together just at the suggestion.

"Yes, let's, that's perfect! They won't hear us whispering if we're _that_ close."

Mai and Zuko were fast asleep in their shared couch-bed. Azula had the full to herself, so it was perfect for the two of them together. She suggests, "Let's lie down in my bed."

_Creak_

Azula begins stepping into the room, but is pulled back. To her surprise, Ty Lee whispers, "No, wait, Zula. Let's get in _my_ bed. I'm so tired, if we lay down in your big comfy bed I'll fall asleep right away!"

Azula nods again. The feeling of warmth in her ear is overriding her sensibilities. Ty Lee continues, "At least the two of us scrunched in my little bed will be too small for either of us to fall asleep in."

"Sounds perfect." Azula replies. They enter the room, Ty Lee quietly closing the door behind them.

Azula stops at her own bed and carefully slips off her shoes. Ty Lee strides past her and stops at the seashell bedspread in the back. She quickly slips one shoe off but struggles with the other. Azula moves towards her. Ty Lee pulls with extreme effort. The shoe pops off just as Azula arrives.

Ty Lee had exerted too much effort trying to remove it; her momentum sends her leg up. The normally fleet footed acrobat can't stay upright. She tips backwards over the mattress and falls down. Azula panics that her fall will cause a raucous. Ty Lee panics about falling. They reach out to one another and Ty Lee pulls the Princess down with her onto the bed.

_Creak_

The floor betrays them, but neither even notices. The two girls lay on the bed, pressed against each other. Azula tops Ty Lee, her elbows and hands pressed against the bedsheets. Ty Lee feels all of the black hair tickling her face. She slips her hand up, accidentally brushing against Azula's body as she does, and moves the hair out of the way.

When she does they find themselves eye-to-eye, gold mixing with grey, their bodies flush against one another, arms in close proximity. Their minds track the same thing. They look at the other's lips. They take in hushed breaths. Their hearts beating in unison.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula leans her head and puckers her lips. Ty Lee's hands reach up and around the Princess' back. Her hands search and pull her in closer. Their kiss is innocent enough, Azula still unsure of what she is doing. Before it can advance though, Azula rolls on to her side and lies next to her instead. Ty Lee pushes herself back and up against the wall. Azula positions herself opposite of her.

They both peak across the dark to where Zuko and Mai sleep. There is no sound, no movement, just the soft lull of their quiet snoring. After another moment Azula fixes her positioning. She lays on her left side and Ty Lee lays on her right. They squeeze into the tiny bed and face one another. There are just a few inches between them. Azula believes that Ty Lee was shrewd in her suggestion. It would be quite impossible for either of them to get comfortable enough to sleep in this tiny bed.

"Can I ask you something?" Ty Lee asks.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula brings a hand up and places it under her head. Ty Lee brings a hand up and rests it in the space between them. Azula finally answers, "Perhaps."

"It's important. I'm not sure if you'll want to answer," she whispers. "And if you don't want to, you don't have-"

"Just ask already." Azula commands her, excited to hear what will come out of her mouth.

A less excited Ty Lee would bite her tongue. But her tongue has been active tonight and she is feeling daring. She asks the question she has pondered for months. "Why don't you like looking in mirrors?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula feels much of the joy sucked out of the room. Yet her heart still beats against her chest. She is more vulnerable right now than she has ever been in her entire life.

"I don't…"

She trails off and looks around the dark room at the walls and at her feet. She is scared to tell the truth. She is scared that if she says this next part, that will make it real. If she keeps it locked up, hidden inside of her, then it's just a thought. Once she says it out loud though, that makes it real.

"Yeah, of course, and if you're not comfortable-"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Ty Lee is a guardian over Azula's heart. She has been watching out for her for so long. She guided her in their kiss. She has asked something now and immediately is ready to let it go at the slightest hesitation. Azula is scared, but moreover she wants to share her life with the girl lying next to her. She cuts the brunette off.

"When I look at myself," she says and Ty Lee grows quiet. "I see my mother. And I hate how much I look like her. I hate to see what I look like."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Ty Lee gulps. She lifts her hand up and brushes back a single hair on Azula's face and tucks it behind her ear. Her hand lingers there. She contemplates gripping the back of her friend's head and pulling her into another kiss. Yet she doesn't. That's not the right response to what has been shared.

"Thank you, Azula, for telling me that," she says and Azula releases a deep breath. "But just so you know, I love what you look like."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"Thank you." Azula whispers back.

Ty Lee pulls her hand away finally and places it back in the little bit of space between them. Her body finally begins catching up to her and she opens her mouth involuntarily.

_Yawn_

Ty Lee stares through the dark into her eyes. She wants to remember this moment always. This is how she wants to die, staring into those golden eyes. Azula looks into the grey-brown of hers. She thinks about all the nights they were apart. All of the time alone. How she would stare out into the night sky and wish to see these grey-brown eyes.

Ty Lee sleepily whispers to her, "When I traveled with the circus, I saw many boys kissing boys, and girls kissing girls."

Azula is more awake than her friend and replies, "You told me this before. My father would have their heads for that."

Ty Lee struggles to keep her eyes open. She asks, "But would you?"

Caught off guard once again, Azula stumbles over her words. "It's-that-it doesn't matter what I want. This is what Fire Lord Sozin decided 100 years ago. We don't get to decide."

_Yawn_

"You _might_ be the Fire Lord someday. You _might_ get to decide," Ty Lee only keeps one eyelid open now after her most recent yawn had shut the other. "So what do you want, Azula?"

The idea of ruling is all that Azula had ever wanted. Zuko's recent return to grace had made it harder to see happening, but for years she pictures herself on the throne. Most of her life she thought about it. But this is the first she thought about changing laws, let alone ones set by her ancestors. "It doesn't matter what I want… I can't have what I want right now."

Ty Lee slowly blinks her one eye. Lazily she whispers, "Then I guess we better not tell anyone… about us practicing."

Azula opens both eyes wide at this. She stares at her friend, who is falling fast asleep. This last comment creates anxiety in her.

Ty Lee coos at her, "It'll be our little secret."

The brunette shuts both of her eyes. Azula says nothing to wake her, too paralyzed by her final comment to say or do anything. Yet the idea also excites her and makes her happy. Ty Lee's final thought of consciousness is the distant and vague feeling of an aura that is almost… pink.

Azula lays and watches Ty Lee sleep. She reflects on the day. The boat ride into Ember Island. The odd metaphors by Lo and Li. The beach and seeing green all day. Dinner besides the brunette. Being jealous. The most beautiful, smartest, perfect girl in the world. Her first kiss and feeling so small. Lending her help to Zuko even when he didn't ask for it. The bonfire and admitting she's a monster. Watching her meditate. Walking along the beach. Her second kiss and feeling invincible. All of those moments leading her to this one. Lying in bed besides the girl she had traveled the world with. Her best friend since the Royal Fire Academy for Girls. The one who gave her the moon flower.

Azula feels soft. She suddenly feels weak in her stomach and her throat catches. She is without tears but if she had been familiar with them, she may have classified it as a sob. She is overcome with emotions from the day. She looks at the girl sleeping beside her.

They're so close it feels like one is breathing the air out and the other is taking it in. Azula longs to kiss again. It's all she wants. She stares at Ty Lee's lips as she sleeps and imagines them pressed against her own. It is wrong, but it is just a thought. And her mother isn't here to tell her it is wrong. No one is going to stop her. Maybe Ty Lee is right. Maybe if she becomes Fire Lord, she can make it right. Maybe she can change things.

Azula knows she should get up and go to her own bed. She knows she must not be caught here in the morning or in the middle of the night. _'But this is peace.'_ This is the closest she has ever felt to another person. This is the closest she has ever been to Ty Lee.

Her eyes wander down, to the hand that lies in the space between them. She slowly moves her own hand up and holds it in hers. She is immediately filled with warmth. The fire within is given new oxygen. Azula shuts her eyes for just a moment.

For the first time in her life she holds something perfect in her hand, and it doesn't turn to ash.

* * *

Azula opens her eyes.

She groans lightly and tries to move but something heavy is pressed against her. She looks down and is met with a mop of brown hair. Ty Lee is the heavy object pressed against her. Azula's hand is still clutching hers and the acrobat has buried her head into Azula's chest, nuzzled into the crook under her chin.

_'So much for being too small to fall asleep in.'_

Azula dislodges her arm and carefully pulls away from the weight of her friend. However, as she gets up the rustling ends up prodding the sleeping girl. Azula escapes from the bed and carefully gets up. In her sleeping, semi-conscious state, Ty Lee mumbles to herself.

"Mhhh… love you… 'Zula."

Azula knows this was mumbled, but she hears it so clearly that it feels like it was screamed into the night. She shakes her head, too tired to think about it too much. She steps towards her bed in the dark.

_Creak_

The floorboards again betray her, but thankfully again no one moves or reacts. She climbs into her full sized bed. She pulls the sheets over herself. She can't believe she had fallen asleep with Ty Lee. It was so risky and carried grave consequences if anyone saw them or found out.

Yet… it had been wonderful. In fact, it was the best sleep Azula had gotten in almost half a year, since before her father first tasked her with the search for Zuko. It is a memory she will hold on to tightly.

As she drifts off again, she thinks about Ty Lee mumbling in her sleep. She had said that she loves her. She wasn't even awake. Why not say it back? Why could she not say it back? Why is she afraid of these emotions?

Because she didn't say it.

She didn't mean it.

She wasn't even awake.

_'How could somebody ever love me?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "Back to You" by Selena Gomez.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	10. Live to Serve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ty Lee's stomach is in knots. Zuko apologizes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Live to Serve**

Ty Lee's stomach is in knots. The nerves build and build. She assumes the worst will come to pass. It is wholly unbecoming of her to be so pessimistic, but she has never had more to lose than she does right now. She has never held something so precious and important to her like this. Right now, she does none of the holding though. Instead, she feels a hand run through her hair.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" She asks again.

"Ty Lee, honestly, you need to relax," Azula runs her hand again through the brunette's braided ponytail. "It's eight minutes, and they have to get to the capital first anyway. Then come find us. Then actually do something about it. And this is all assuming they even still plan to attack."

The Princess and the Circus Star are on Azula's bed in her royal chambers within the palace. Azula sits on the edge of the bed, while Ty Lee lies down and rests her head in Azula's lap. The Princess absentmindedly runs her hand through Ty Lee's hair as they try to enjoy their final moments together.

Any second now she would have to leave, or else someone would come to collect her. Neither wanted that and neither wanted this time to end. They have not really had alone time together since returning to the Capital. Azula was once again busy, in and out of meetings with her father and Zuko. It was also far riskier in the palace, and Azula was quietly terrified of getting caught. But the fear also made it more exciting.

Ty Lee refused to initiate the "practicing," as they had called it. She had wanted it for so long, but now that it was here she feared making things awkward. Doing it too much, or too fast, she didn't want to push Azula away. There was still some guise of this being just friends helping each other, and while Ty Lee didn't believe that to be the truth, she couldn't be sure either.

The whole affair reminds Ty Lee of the moon flower she had given to Azula as children. Azula was much the same way as that flower. In the light of day, seen by the world, she wilts away. The light of everyone watching her drives her to hide who she is. But in the shade, behind closed doors and with Ty Lee, she would bloom into her full self. In the dark, in the safety of the night, under the moon, she blossoms.

It has been 41 days since that fateful trip to Ember Island. They had snuck away to practice a few times, when Azula felt absolutely positive no prying eyes would find them. Ty Lee had thought maybe they would now, in her bedroom, but Azula had just wanted to hold her. She takes in her aroma.

_Sniff Sniff_

"You know, from here, I can smell you really well."

A little self-conscious now, Azula asks, "Do I smell bad?"

"No, it's," she pauses. The word she wants to say is intoxicating. She settles on, "good."

Ty Lee must join the general populace in hiding overnight, while they both know that Azula's place will be different. They have spent much of their time discussing how Azula has prepared for this moment. She will represent yet another roadblock for their enemies. No one knows it, but all of the servants and guards have been instructed of where Ozai will be, but in actuality it will be Azula's location.

The whole thing is Azula's idea and she is quite proud of it. That blind pride that made her stick to it so tightly, despite putting her in serious danger, had created much anxiety for Ty Lee. Azula would be directly in harm's way if the Water Tribe successfully infiltrated. It was a gambit that put her in the crosshairs instead of Ozai.

Ty Lee doesn't appreciate how quickly and easily he is willing to sacrifice his own daughter. She thinks it is poor leadership, although she would never say such a thing, not even to Azula.

Most of all though, the whole thing creates knots in her stomach. Just thinking about all of the alternatives, all of the possibilities, all of the doomsday scenarios. Ty Lee knows it's only eight minutes, but she is sure it will be the longest eight minutes of her entire life.

Speaking of time, Ty Lee looks at a clock and realizes that she is late now. "Oh shoot," she says sitting up. "I have to get going."

"I suppose you do."

"I'm surprised they didn't send someone to collect me as soon as it was time."

"No servant or guard would dare face my wrath."

Ty Lee giggles at this but nonetheless gets up to leave. Azula stands up as well and walks behind her to the door. Ty Lee grabs the handle to pull it open. She'll say her goodbye at the door frame.

_Whoo-_

_Slam!_

Ty Lee tries to open the door, but Azula's hand shuts it closed. Suddenly Ty Lee feels Azula's body weight pressed against hers. She steps towards the door as the body heat pursues her.

"Azula?"

_Whip!_

Ty Lee is spun around so that she's now facing her fiery friend. She falls back into the door to keep it closed. Azula leans into her, putting her arms up and blocks Ty Lee in. There's a devilish look in her eyes. She leans further in, to breathe in her ear.

"Azula!" Ty Lee says with a hushed breath.

She whispers in the brunette's ear and the hot breath sends shockwaves up her spine, "I want to practice, Ty Lee."

She lightly bites on the ear, giving Ty Lee some further excitement. Ty Lee places her arms up and lightly pushes against Azula's body. She is far stronger and could easily shove her away if she wanted. In this position she could even chi block her, not that she would. Mostly, she knows she can get out of this predicament, and pushing back is more to play the game.

"Azula, we can't, someone could be here to take me down any second."

Azula doesn't care. She brings her whole body to press against her friend and pin her against the door. Ty Lee is on the verge of being out of her mind. She tries to remain cool, but Azula's fire is certainly making things steamy.

Ty Lee tries again, her hands lightly caressing Azula's sides and hips. "We haven't practiced in weeks, Azula. You've been so busy preparing. Why now?"

The Princess stops lavishing her friend. Instead now, she wraps both arms around Ty Lee's back. Their bodies pressed against one another, she leans back and looks into her grey-brown eyes.

"I might die," she replies solemnly. "So if I'm going to die, I want to be better than I was…"

The words had come out of her mouth wrong, and she isn't exactly sure what to say. Perhaps though for the first time in her entire life, Azula had misspoken and said what she really meant, instead of something hurtful. Ty Lee looks into the gold. She nods her head lightly in understanding.

_'She's so vulnerable.'_ Ty Lee thinks.

She loops both hands around the small of her back. Azula keeps her left hand on one shoulder, while her other hand lightly grabs Ty Lee's ponytail. She plays with it in her hand, admiring it a moment before looking into her eyes. Azula struggles to swallow.

"Well," Ty Lee licks her lips and smiles with a twinkle in her eyes. "I live to serve."

Their lips move graciously, quickly towards each other. They meet and their mouths quickly open to one another. Azula has come a long way with just a few "lessons" from her master. This kiss is more ravenous than any before it. They both want this more than anything. Ty Lee doesn't just want this kiss though. She wants the girl. She feels Azula pulling away, so she bites her bottom lip and tugs it as they separate.

_Huff huff_

_Huff huff_

They both breathe heavily and press their foreheads together. Azula contemplates diving back in. It felt so good. It gave her strength but scared her. She wants it more every time they do it. And she wants to stop doing it in private. She doesn't want to hide how she feels. She wants to dive right back in. She licks her lips and grins at Ty Lee. She leans back in.

_KNOCK! KNOCK!_

"Holy sh-"

Azula backs away quickly and Ty Lee steps away from the door. They exchange a look of fear and concern for a moment. They straighten themselves up, flattening their clothes to not be as ruffled. Then Ty Lee steps towards the door to open it.

_Whoosh_

"Zuko! Wh-what are you doing here?" Ty Lee asks, flushed.

"Do you need something, Zuzu?" Azula asks hurriedly.

Zuko doesn't say anything initially, he just looks from one girl to the next. He has some general confusion about why they're both breathing quickly and their cheeks are flushed. Ty Lee's hair is disheveled.

"Uh, is everything alright?" He asks.

"Of course!"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Is something the matter?"

"Did we miss something?"

Again Zuko just looks from one girl to the next, puzzling over what was going on. He simply doesn't care and doesn't have the time to pursue this further. He replies, "Everything's fine. I'm here to collect Ty Lee. The guards told me she was with you, Azula."

"Yes!"

"Of course!"

"I was just leaving."

"And I was walking her out."

"That's why we were already at the door when you knocked."

"Yes, so now it's time for you to go, Ty Lee."

"Yep!" She says and steps out and towards Zuko. He is extremely lost and not sure what is happening or what game they're playing at.

_'Oh well, whatever they're hiding, it won't matter to me soon enough.'_

Azula puts on a charade, saying, "I'm not coming with you both."

Zuko nods knowingly. He is aware of the plan, and it is crucial to his own. Ty Lee, desperate to make things seem normal, plays dumb. "You're not coming? Where will you go, Azula?"

Azula and Zuko exchange eye contact. Looking away he replies, "Don't worry about it, Ty Lee. She'll be safe. It's only until the eclipse is over. None of us are going anywhere."

Azula nods in agreement with this. Zuko takes a long look at Azula before ultimately turning and stepping away. Ty Lee takes a step as well, but she risks a look back at the Princess. Their eyes linger over one another as Ty Lee exits. They had enjoyed their final moment, but it had cost them their goodbye. Ty Lee thinks about what Zuko had said and hopes to Agni that he's right.

* * *

They walk through the long hallways together, headed for the catacombs. They're the two closest and most important people in Azula's life, yet they are barely friends. They've spent so much time together over the years, but can't make small talk now. From their bonfire on Ember Island, they shared some of their darkest secrets together, but couldn't name the other's favorite color. They grew up together, but could pass for strangers. This is what makes their walk together so tense and awkward, while also not being all together uncomfortable. It surprises Ty Lee still when he interrupts the silence with such force.

"I'm sorry that I called you a circus freak," he says, keeping his chin up and his shoulders straight. "That was wrong of me and I regret it."

Caught off guard, Ty Lee immediately responds, "Oh, it's okay, Zuko. Like I said, it's a compliment," she rubs the back of her head and tries to smile. "I'm sorry for what I said about bad skin."

"Don't think about it too much. I forgive you, and I know you weren't trying to say it to hurt me. But what I said was meant to hurt, and for that I apologize."

"I know people say you and Azula are different, but you two are so similar sometimes."

"We're nothing alike." He responds rather coldly.

"Is that so?" Ty Lee is not deterred. "You both act like you don't care about people, when you secretly do a lot. Why else would you apologize after all this time?"

"I'm not capable of doing the things that she can. I can't stand back while innocent people get hurt." He charges.

There is something about his tone that Ty Lee can't place. She comes to the defense of the Princess. "Azula _is_ capable of terrible things, but she would never harm innocent people of her own volition."

Zuko doesn't break stride but he does pause at this comment. He looks sideways at her with an inquisitive look, imploring her to go on.

Ty Lee speaks confidently, "Everyone around her controls her. They take away her ability to choose a life for herself."

She reflects on Ba Sing Se and the Firelight Fountain.

"She could kill," the brunette knows the truth of what happened under that lake. "But she would only do so if it was demanded of her. If she didn't have a choice."

"And what about the Avatar?" He replies.

"Don't be silly, Zuko," Ty Lee plays her own game. "Everyone knows _you_ killed the Avatar."

"Right," he replies curtly. "Because I did."

They march onward in silence. Ty Lee feels good for defending Azula. She is tired of everyone always speaking about the Princess like they know her. Ty Lee can't help but feel like she knows her better than anyone else, even better than her own brother. She wishes she could be more honest with her feelings. She wishes they both could be.

_'Here I am, at the end of the world, and I can't even tell her how I feel.'_

She reflects on what Azula had stumbled through earlier. _'If she was going to die, she wanted to be better.'_ Ty Lee agrees with that sentiment. It rings home to her and resonates. She doesn't want to die with regrets. She also wants to be better than she is.

Ty Lee has made up her mind. If they survive this attack, if they are still standing after the Black Sun, Ty Lee will tell Azula the truth. She will tell her how she feels. She will tell her how she loves her.

How she _has_ _always_ loved her.

How she _will_ _always_ love her.

* * *

"Azula! Where is Azula!"

Ty Lee sprints through the Royal Palace halls in a frenzied pace. She's barely dodging people going in the opposite direction. Every person who stares at her is asked the same question.

"Does anyone know where she is?"

_'Would she be in the Throne Room? In her chambers? Somewhere else?'_

No one has told Ty Lee if she is alive. No one had confirmed it. Such a matter after a war-time event would be poor form. The Capital couldn't just let that sort of information be publicly known. If the Fire Lord was killed during the siege, they wouldn't want the people to know right away. They would instead immediately seek to replace the head of the Fire Nation to maintain order.

So it came as no surprise to the acrobat when she is stopped by a blockade of Imperial Firebenders, blocking her path deeper into the palace. Ty Lee is known in these parts, the servants all know her, the guards know her. She is a friend to the royal family. She is best friends with the Princess. She helped lead the seizure of Ba Sing Se. She has been roaming these halls long before any of these men were even stationed in the Capital. Who are they to stop her now?

"Let me through, I'm here to see the Princess."

"That will not be happening, Miss." The soldier tells her.

"Why not? Where is she? What happened to her? Is she okay?"

"We can't discuss that with you, little girl."

Ty Lee grows red with rage. Her entire aura blackens to a dark red. She sizes up the guards. There's six of them and one of her. She didn't like their odds. Her muscles stiffen. She slowly raises her arms up in preparation to chi block them and fight her way in further. Her hands come up into view. The guard talking to her eyes this oddly. What is this teenager about to do?

"Miss," he says threateningly.

The grey-brown of her eyes constrict. She mentally plays out the encounter in her head. She goes through the various iterations it could take on. She plans three moves ahead for every possible alternative. She flexes her muscles and prepares to strike.

"Excuse me," a small voice cuts through from beyond.

The Imperial Firebenders turn on the spot and encounter a small, timid royal servant girl standing behind them. She has brown hair, brown eyes, and light skin. She catches the eye of Ty Lee and says to them, "Yes, that's what I thought. Let her pass."

"We have orde-"

"The Princess was very clear that _she_ be let through."

"But ma'am-"

"I have lived my entire life in service to the Royal Family. I grew up beside this girl. Although we may not be friends, she is closer to the Princess than any one of us here."

"Ugh," they stammer.

"Please trust me, you do not want to be on the wrong side of the Princess today. She may strike you down on the spot if she learns you denied entry to her childhood friend, Ty Lee."

The guards reluctantly agree and allow the acrobat to pass through their check point. Ty Lee walks through and mutters a 'thank you' to the girl.

"Please, follow me," she instructs Ty Lee, who does as she's told.

They march through the halls, far too slowly for Ty Lee's liking. She wants to sprint ahead to Azula, but she still isn't sure where she is hiding. She turns to the young girl.

"So, is she okay? I mean, if she sent out her servants to find me, then she must be okay, right? Where is she? Why are there so many guards? Is she okay?"

"She is fine, but something has happened to the Royal Family."

Relief washes over Ty Lee instantly. _'She is fine.'_ Just hearing those words felt like a 50 pound weight off of her chest. The release is instantly followed by more anxiety, "What? What happened? Did… did they kill the Fire Lord?"

_'Oh, Agni. If something happened…'_

"I do not know, it has not been told to me."

"Who are you? You know me, but I don't know-"

"I am Yuzu, part of the Princess's all-female staff. I have known you for many years."

Ty Lee was not a stranger to this dynamic with the royal servants, but this situation is nonetheless awkward. "Oh, well, it's nice to finally meet you! Wh-where are we going exactly?"

The servant stops at Azula's chambers. "Exactly where you'd imagine she'd be."

Ty Lee stares at the door a moment. She turns to Yuzu, and bows slightly, "Thank you for your help. That would have been much bloodier without you."

"I live to serve. Although I doubt a single drop of the blood would've been yours," Ty Lee rises up at this ready to joke about it. Instead, Yuzu bows herself and says, "I will leave you to attend to the Princess. It is what she desires."

Without another word, Ty Lee is left alone at the entrance to Azula's royal bedroom. Her mind rushes. The fear from just a minute ago that something had happened to Azula. The fear now of what may have happened to the Fire Lord.

_Knock knock_

She stands a moment and waits. She wants to tell Azula how she really feels. And for a moment she thought she had lost that opportunity. Now, she has the chance again. She can do it. She will do it. She must do it. She can not be a coward.

_Whoosh_

Another servant stands on the other side of the door. Ty Lee tries to peer around her, "Is Azula-"

"Is that her?" The familiar voice sings to Ty Lee.

"It is, your highness." The girl turns and for the first time Ty Lee sees her. Standing in the room, surrounded by her servants.

Ty Lee steps in and Azula immediately shouts, "All of you, out now."

Ty Lee stands at the door with her hands clasps together as the four servants all quickly stream out. Ty Lee patiently waits. She watches them go. She anticipated the door closing. She prepares to lunge at her best friend. At her _love._

_Whoosh_

The door shuts behind and Ty Lee can not contain herself. She bursts forward and runs at Azula. The Princess does not move at all. She stays in the middle of her bedroom. She doesn't even raise her arms up to embrace the brunette.

Ty Lee wraps her arms around her and holds her tight against her body, perhaps too tight. She squeezes Azula and never wants to let go again. "I was so scared-"

"Ty Lee."

Her voice belies the point. Ty Lee leans back and looks at her friend. There is something unsettling about her demeanor. A sadness about her. Ty Lee asks, "Azula, did something happen to your father?"

"No. He was untouched," she says. "The plan worked perfectly."

She turns away from Ty Lee and steps towards the bed without saying anything. Ty Lee is confused. _'If the plan was perfect, then why is she acting so somber?'_

"Then what happened?"

She turns back and looks at Ty Lee. Their eyes meet. Azula tells her, "Zuko… he's gone."

"They killed him?" Ty Lee asks, paralyzed on the spot.

"No," she shakes her head. "He betrayed us."

Ty Lee feels like the walls are falling down around her. He… betrayed them? She had just walked with him last night. They had been together when he escorted her to the catacombs. Now he is gone? Had he been planning it then? Did he know then that he would do it?

Azula doesn't cry, but Ty Lee can tell she's upset. She is haunted by this development. She looks fractured. Ty Lee moves towards her, "Oh, oh Zula."

She hugs the girl and they stand by the bed. Azula doesn't resist or return the hug. Ty Lee just holds her for a few moments. She had thought, assuming Azula was fine, that this would be a celebratory moment together. One to commemorate their great victory in the War. Instead, she needs to keep the pieces together. Prevent Azula from cracking. She is a brittle piece of glass, ready to break.

Azula thinks about what Ty Lee said. Not now, not the day before, not even since Ember Island. She thinks back to their conversation after dinner in Ba Sing Se.

_'I think you're afraid to end up alone.'_

Azula had pictured a nightmare life without Zuko then, and now she is living it. She feels empty inside, even as Ty Lee holds her at her bedside. Alone, away from prying eyes, victorious, yet she couldn't enjoy this moment. She has lost something important to her. No one understood what it was like growing up in Ozai's home. They only ever had each other. They had protected each other over the years. A part of herself went with her brother.

"Why would he do this?" Azula asks.

"I don't know." Ty Lee responds, rubbing her back. "I wish I could explain it."

"You said he wouldn't leave," Azula says.

_'But what do I do if they all leave me? What if they get sick of me one day and just leave me.'_

_'They won't do that, Azula.'_

Ty Lee remembers and regrets her comment from that walk on the beach. How she had originally assured her that the people closest to her, like Mai and Zuko, wouldn't abandon her.

"I know. I'm sorry, Azula. I never saw this coming."

"I'm going to find him," she says now, her mood changing. "And I'm going to bring him back down to my level. Make him regret his decision."

Ty Lee pulls back from her precious friend and looks at her. There's a sorrow-fueled rage in her eyes. "I'm going to take everything from him."

Ty Lee pulls her back into her arms. Azula just wants her brother back, but the betrayal has cut her deep. In ways that she can't fully understand yet, but nonetheless feels. She cycles through memories of her brother and plots what she will say or do when she finally faces him again.

Ty Lee sits and reflects on the last thing that Azula had said. How she wants to take everything from Zuko. This is exactly what Ty Lee thinks has already been stripped away from Azula: everything.

Everyone believes that she has _everything_. Her power, her ability, her strength, her mind. 'Everyone adores her' is something Zuko would say. But, really, _everything_ is exactly what the world has taken from her. She wasn't allowed to grow up like a normal little girl. They stole her childhood. They stole her normalcy. They took everything from her. They've taken so much already and now this. The girl that Ty Lee knew in the royal garden smiling against the beautiful sunset behind her is not the same girl who she now holds in her royal chambers.

"Ty Lee," Azula interrupts her thoughts. "I need you to promise me something."

"Anything," she whispers in her ear.

"Promise me that you'll never betray me like this. Promise that you'll stay by my side, always."

Ty Lee squeezes her friend tight against her body. She thought she was coming here to confess her feelings. Those will have to wait. Right now, Azula needs her best friend more than a girlfriend.

"That's the easiest promise I'll ever make in my life, Azula."

"Please, just say it."

Ty Lee smiles. She doesn't hesitate at all.

"I promise I'll never betray you, Azula."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "Paradise" by Constance.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	11. Screeching into the Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula becomes the calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Screeching into the Nothing**

"What is she doing?" She shouts angrily.

"Uh-nuh?" Ty Lee shrugs.

Azula stands on the edge of the drifting gondola and watches. Mai is fighting every prison guard who gets anywhere near the line. She is actively enabling Zuko's escape. She's letting _all_ of them get away. She watches as some guards finally get the best of her. They grab her wrists and lock her down, incapacitating her and keeping her still.

As they approach the landing, Ty Lee can only look at Azula. Her aura can not be tamed. It rages and flickers across different shades and colors, dramatically switching with force. It goes from golden to dark green to a shade of grey. As they reach their destination though, it finally settles on burning, dark blue. She swears for just a second it was... black.

The two teens hop down off of the gondola and then stand diametrically opposed to the third member of their former traveling party. Two guards hold Mai's hands behind her back. Azula will handle this herself.

"Leave us alone."

They quickly exit without a word of disagreement. Azula stares down her childhood friend, while Ty Lee stands at the side, slightly behind the recently reappointed "Crown" Princess. She narrows her eyes.

"I never expected this from you," she spits out.

Ty Lee looks between the two, her hands clasped in front of her face. They had never been as close to each other as each one was with Ty Lee, but she never thought they'd reach a physical confrontation like this. Her mind races about what could happen and what will happen.

"What I don't understand is why? Why would you do it? You know the consequences."

Mai isn't sure how long she's waited for this moment. It's been silently building for years. Always bubbling, just below the surface, threatening to spill out. She almost takes pleasure in the opportunity to put Azula in her place, even if she knew this was likely the end of their friendship, and maybe her own freedom.

"I guess you just don't know people as well as you think you do," she tells her without a smirk. "You miscalculated. I love Zuko more than I fear you."

Perhaps Mai says this because she knows it will strike a nerve. Perhaps she is just oblivious to Azula's sore spot. Nonetheless, it hurts Azula painfully. She feels that her entire life _everyone_ has loved Zuko more than they fear her. Her uncle, her mother, and probably even her father. She can not comprehend loving something enough to throw your life away; to risk everything for them.

Ty Lee watches Azula's aura roar into new shades. Dark colors. Painful colors. She remembers what Azula said on the beach. ' _But fear… it's all I've ever known. I don't know how to be different. I_ can't _be different.'_ She does not want Azula to live like this, ruling with fear. And what Mai has said speaks to her. The acrobat's eyes fall to the firebender.

' _I love Azula more than I fear_ anything _.'_

"No, you miscalculated! You should've feared me more!"

' _No, Zula! No!'_

Azula readies a fighting stance, her fingers pointed and prepared to attack. Mai returns serve by lifting up her hidden knives. She twists her body to get better torque on her throw. Azula's aura becomes a deep maroon. Ty Lee's memory flashes through the last half-year of moments with the Crown Princess. The memories flood of what the golden eyed girl has said to her.

" _I think the most important thing I've learned over the years is that when an important moment comes, you can not hesitate. You have to attack it with conviction."_

_"Promise me that you'll never betray me like this. Promise that you'll stay by my side, always."_

" _What if they get sick of me one day and just leave me? Or if I push them away forever? What do I do?"_

Time seems to slow down for Ty Lee. She has decided what she will do. With all of the swiftness of the wind she makes her move. The gap between them evaporates faster than water in a boiling heat. Her arms out in front of her, Ty Lee lunges at Azula.

Azula never sees it coming.

_Whack! Whack!_

"Huh!"

Azula gasps for air. Her body involuntarily falls forward. She can't move her arms, can't brace her fall. She collapses, face-first into the ground.

_Crash!_

Ty Lee stands over the paralyzed body of the Crown Princess. She almost can't believe that she's done it. Her love lay as a crumpled heap on the ground. She watches the aura cycle through another collection of dark colors. She looks at her hands for a moment and feels her heart beating in her ear.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

She doesn't have time to dawdle. She turns to the black haired beauty standing a few feet away, in complete shock of what she has seen. Time thrusts into full speed again as Ty Lee runs towards her.

"C'mon!"

She grabs Mai's hand and leads her a few feet away.

"We have to get you out of here!"

From the ground Azula shouts, "You're both fools!"

Ty Lee turns her back to the awning roof. She bends at the knees, then places both of her hands, cupped together, on her kneecap. She commands the girl, "Here!"

Mai puts one foot on the hands and Ty Lee swiftly propels her upwards, to the roof. Mai lands and then immediately turns, lies down, and reaches her hand down for Ty Lee to take it.

"Come on! Hurry!"

Ty Lee looks back at Azula. Her feet remain planted firmly on the ground. She looks up and shouts, "Go!"

"What are you doing? Come with me!"

"I can't!"

"What do you mean? Just jump!"

" _So take comfort and know this:_ I _won't leave you."_

"I can't leave her," she says. She looks around and sees the tops of heads advancing up the stairs. "Besides, they'll cut the line if I don't stop them. You go!"

Mai, bewitched by the entire series of events, stands up and takes off running. She lands on the rope of the gondola and sprints up it, the way Ty Lee had done moments ago. She runs for her life, high above the boiling waters. In the back of her mind, she knows what Ty Lee meant by 'I can't leave her.' She spent months and months with the two girls batting eyes at each other and pussyfooting around. That night on Ember Island was as much about forcing them to interact as it was about getting Zuko alone. If Ty Lee wants to die trying to save Azula, then there is nothing Mai could do to return the favor and save the acrobat.

Ty Lee turns and moves towards the walkway where the prison guards will come from any moment. She passes Azula's body on the ground. She wants to be at her side. Pick her up and explain herself.

' _But I can't. If I do that, Mai won't escape.'_

Ty Lee raises her fists and bends her knees. She prepares to fight an endless horde of highly trained guards and Fire Nation soldiers. She almost feels bad for them.

A few feet away, face down on the ground, unable to feel her arms, or much of her upper body, the Crown Princess lays in the dirt. She listens to the grunts of Ty Lee fighting. She can only imagine the acrobat dodging, flipping, and smacking, every second buying Mai another crucial moment to escape. She grows furious, lying there, helpless, just listening. She feels a calm settle over her rage. A security comes to her in knowing the truth finally.

It had all been a lie. Everything. All of it. Since the moment they had met again, it was all just a clever ruse to lower Azula's defenses. As a master strategist, Azula has to applaud the effort. Her mind circles around the truth.

' _She thinks of me as a monster too.'_

The nightmare comes to mind, where Ty Lee would push her down and say, 'Now… fall!' It had all been leading to this.

' _I promise I'll never betray you, Azula.'_

She can never trust anyone.

' _How could somebody ever love me?'_

Azula feels her fingers twitch. She is slowly regaining her body. And when she gets up, she is going to destroy that girl. She is going to kill her with her bare hands. No fire, no lightning. She'll strangle the life from her for this.

"Oof!" Ty Lee falls to the ground at last.

Azula hears it. Right behind her. A stampede of footsteps approach. She feels bodies grab hold of her arms and shoulders and lift her up. She rises and faces the brunette. She stares into her eyes with madness. Ty Lee's captors grip her arms tightly behind her back, twisting her arm painfully. Slowly her eyes rise to meet Azula's.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"What should we do with her, Princess?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula's aura is bright red.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

' _Kill her!'_

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula stares into the grey-brown eyes for too long. The fury does not subside, but something changes in her. She can't bring herself to say it. She knows it will be done without mercy or hesitation if she just gives the word. They could simply throw her over the railing and into the boiling water below. Yet somehow that prevents her from saying the words. She will bury her for this betrayal, but not here on the Boiling Rock.

"Put her somewhere where I never have to see her face again," she commands. "And let her _rot_!"

* * *

Crown Princess Azula of the Fire Nation hates everybody.

A team of servants gather around her for her morning routine. They are fast at work preparing her for the day ahead. They don't know the details of the day before, but they know she had arrived late in the night and yet was still up before the sun today. The going word was that her airship was stolen and that they had brought back a traitor to be housed in the Capital City Prison. Something scandalous had happened on the Boiling Rock, but those who had gone we're terrified to speak it into the world and face the wrath of the Crown Princess.

Azula's head servant Sayaka, a girl a year or so older than herself with the blackest hair Azula had ever seen, is thinking of how to broach the topic. Every single day no servant speaks before Sayaka. She has been in the service of the Crown Princess for as long as either girl can remember. She will soon be too old and forced out of her role within the Royal Palace.

Due to all of her years surviving working for Azula, Sayaka has become skilled at reading her and knowing how to word things to her to elicit specific reactions. It is why the other servants allow her to be their voice every day. They rely on Sayaka and her turns of phrases to keep them safe.

Sayaka tries her hand this morning, "Crown Princess, we heard your trip to the Boiling Rock proved fruitful. There was a traitor taken prisoner under your custody and returned here?"

Azula narrows her eyes and smirks, "Now Sayaka, who told you that? What are your little birds chirping about this morning?"

The other servants stay on task, filing her nails and toenails, pressing her outfit for the day and the like. Yuzu prepares to do her eye makeup. Sayaka runs a comb through Azula's hair. "The Capital sings your praises at every opportunity."

"I'll tell you what, Sayaka," Azula says sweetly, closing her eyes as Yuzu leans in with a brush. "If I hear you or anyone else refer to it as a 'fruitful' trip again, I shall have my father banish you instantly."

Sayaka pauses before running the comb through her hair again. The other servants all turn their eyes to her while remaining vigilant to their tasks. In all of her years, Sayaka had never heard Azula speak so casually about a banishment. It is not her power to do, but it was well within her influence to make such a thing happen. And in light of Prince Zuko's recent abdication, she is once again next in line to the throne. This is no empty threat. Yet it is a completely different story to wield such power with reckless abandon.

"Am I understood?"

"Of course, Crown Princess. I live to serve." She bows her head slightly and continues combing.

Sayaka attempts to right the ship and change course. "What will you do today, Crown Princess?"

"I must speak with the Fire Lord at some point. What will he be doing throughout the day?"

"He will be engaged for most of the morning and evening in meetings," Sayaka explains. She prepares the good news, "But I know for a fact he will have a break early in the afternoon. I could establish your meeting with him at that time?"

"Excellent. See to it." Sayaka nods. "Was there any Intel waiting for me this morning?"

"Indeed," Sayaka says wrapping Azula's hair into its classic topknot. "General Lee stated that his scouts found what you were searching for. He mentioned it would be about two-days trip with the crew you requested. Would you like to leave today? Perhaps after your meeting with the Fire Lord?"

"No, tell them to be ready to go first thing tomorrow. We leave at first light."

"Of course, I shall deliver the message."

Yuzu backs up, finishes applying makeup, while the other servants around her and Sayaka all stand back. Behind them, unbeknownst to any one else, a seven-year old servant girl positions a mirror in her hands, facing the Crown Princess. She wears a prideful smile, trying to impress with her ambition.

Azula opens her eyes and stands up. Through the gap between the servants she catches the full sight of her reflection in the mirror. The reflection stares back at her. She stands stock still for a moment looking at it. Yuzu turns to see what she is looking at and gasps.

"Huh!"

Sayaka turns but it's too late. Azula springs to life. She steps right through the small gathering and pushes the mirror.

_Crack_

The young girl holding it tumbles to the ground. She loses her grip and an edge of the frame hits the ground. The mirror cracks and develops a 'spiders web' across it.

"What game are you playing at, girl? Do you want to die right here, right now, on my bedroom floor?"

"No! No!" She yells, terrified. "I-I-I live to serve!"

_FLOOM_

Azula lights a fireball in her hand and holds it above the girl. She shouts, "Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!"

A tuft of pitch black hair appears between Azula and the girl. Sayaka positions herself between them and quickly kneels before Azula. The fireball is a foot from her face and the heat radiates, causing her to sweat instantly. Her voice is meager and desperate, "Please, Crown Princess, do not blame her."

"Sayaka, are you volunteering to die on my floor instead?"

"Please, it is her first day," she shuts one eye, wincing at the sight of the flame. "I did not explain the way of things to her. Please, take out this transgression on me."

Sayaka closes both eyes and feels the heat grow hotter. She is still a teenager and has much to live for. She is not ready to die, but the girl was almost ten years her junior. She must protect her. She begs, "Me, Princess, not her."

Azula feels her inner flame grow hotter still. The flame in her hand expands. She glares at the girl she has known for most of her life. She wants to burn her down and make her pay. She wants to set her ablaze.

_'Push it down.'_

_Crackle_

"Get out," Azula says to the room. The flame has gone out. "All of you."

There is a pause as the women all look at one another. Azula screams, "NOW!"

Yuzu is the first to move. She gathers her tools and makes for the door. The others immediately compose themselves and file away quickly. Sayaka stands and fixes up the girl and rushes her to the door. She follows behind her but Azula speaks out.

"Sayaka."

The head servant stops at the doorway as the others all disappear beyond its frame. She stands, her silhouette encompassed by the door. She turns and faces the Crown Princess.

"Should she or any of your staff make this mistake again," she coos at her. "Banishment will be the least of their worries."

Sayaka nods in acknowledgement and immediately exits, shutting the door behind her. Once again someone walks out on Azula, closing the door and leaving her alone. The same way Chan had done. The way her mother had done. She turns and looks at the cracked mirror on the ground.

_'Push it all the way down.'_

She pushes the pain further down than ever before. At last, a calm settles over her again.

* * *

A small, teenage girl opens her eyes lazily. Her eyelids are heavy and the world turns slowly. Her head sways when she lifts it. She tries to take in her surroundings. Her vision calibrates finally as she finds herself on the floor of a dusty prison cell.

Ty Lee's arms are sore and her wrists are raw from the rope that chafed her the entire trip back to the Capital. She pushes herself up gingerly into a sitting position, her back against the wall. A guard sits in a chair nearby, accidentally sleeping on the job. Through some slots in the door, she can see another guard standing with their back to the door. Azula had told her last week that security had doubled up in the Capital Prison after Iroh's escape.

_'Azula…'_

She blinks and thinks about her. Her memory replays the sequence. She hadn't known what the right decision was at the time. Looking back, she wishes she had acted differently. Should've tried to talk her off the ledge, talked about it with her on the gondola, convinced her to never go to the Boiling Rock in the first place.

_Smack smack_

She groans to herself. She lifts her head back and lightly smacks it against the brick wall. "Ugh… I really screwed this up, didn't I?"

The wall softly whispers to her, "If you're in here with us, then yeah, you did."

Ty Lee turns her head to look at it. "Whoa! The walls can talk here?"

The wall scolds her, "No, you doofus, I'm another prisoner."

"Oh," she says, realizing what's going on. She notices a crack in the wall nearby, allowing the voice to get through. She's careful to not speak too loudly and wake up the guard. "Well, um, hi! What did you do to end up in here?"

The wall scoffs and replies, "I'm a Kyoshi Warrior. We crossed the bitch princess and her friends. Now they've been keeping us all separated in this place."

Ty Lee grows instantly self-conscious. She contemplates if she should tell them who she is. Would they stop talking to her? Would Ty Lee really blame them if they did? She tries to buy herself time.

"My name is -" the girl says.

"Can I just call you Wally?" She nervously cuts them off. "Since you're talking to me through a wall."

"Ha, sure." She replies. "So, what about you? What did you do to land yourself here?"

Ty Lee reflects. She takes stock of her circumstance. She tells them, solemnly, "I also crossed the Princess."

After a brief pause the girl whispers, "Well then, that makes you alright in my book. Even if you _are_ Fire Nation."

"How could you know that?"

"You didn't call her a bitch," she tells her plainly. "Just 'the princess.' Only someone who grew up here would do that."

Ty Lee considers the fact that Wally is very smart. They'll probably figure it out on their own if she doesn't tell them. She decides to get out in front of it, "Hey Wally, I have to tell you something."

"Oh boy, we just met. What on Earth are you gonna say already?"

"I am part of the reason why you're in here. I was part of the Princess' team that defeated your group. I'm… sorry."

There is a long pause. Wally says nothing and Ty Lee sighs. She feels that she is always ruining a good thing. She ran from everything she ever had. She fought the Avatar and his friends, she fought Wally and her friends, she got them thrown in solitary confinement, she chased the dragon, and she betrayed Azula's trust. This self-destructive personality trait permeated everything about her life.

"Damn," finally comes the whisper.

Her ears perk at any word. Ty Lee asks, "What? Do you hate me?"

"Oh, absolutely," says Wally. "But I'm just thinking about the whole thing. You helped beat us up and get us thrown in here, then the Princess throws _you_ in here. Either you really _did_ screw up, or that girl is losing it right now."

Ty Lee contemplates this last comment. She wishes she had windows so she could see the rising sun again. Wishes she could talk to Azula. Wishes they could be together again. Wishes she could go back to Ember Island.

_'And let her_ rot _.'_

Ty Lee wonders if she'll ever see Azula again.

* * *

Azula strides into the Throne Room, standing tall. She wears her mask of invincibility and approaches the Fire Lord. Shrouded by flame, he sits waiting for her, knowing she has weasled her way into his schedule for the afternoon.

She says nothing as she silently kneels at the bottom of the steps and bows before him. He begins their engagement. "Stay where you are right now," he says and she remains bowed. "I heard my own daughter was brought to her knees at the Boiling Rock, so this must be a natural position for you. On the ground, bowed before your superior. How embarrassing for me."

Azula does as instructed and remains bowed. She speaks loudly into the ground, so her voice can carry up to him. "There were a number of unforeseen circumstances."

"Perhaps I should marry you off so you must abandon your claim to the throne, and take the one who defeated you as my daughter instead?" He says with a mirthless tone. "It appears that she is a more formidable warrior. Or perhaps you've just finally regressed to your peers."

The Fire Lord threatens her and Azula does not blink. She stares at the ground, head bowed, body almost flat on the floor, shaken by this statement. The fear of becoming ordinary or that others could catch her in skill was always present for her, but the idea of losing her claim to the throne via-forced marriage was one she had not considered. The Fire Lord was not playing games with her.

When Azula says nothing in return, he feels confident his message has been received. "Rise, and tell me what news you have today. I suggest you deliver your best."

Azula gets up off the ground and stares up at her father. "I have made an arrangement with a bounty hunter whom I've heard had run-ins with Iroh. Supposedly she can find anyone on Earth, wherever they hide."

After no questions come, she continues, "I may have some leads about the airship that Zuko stole, but I need more time to meet with the Bounty Hunter first. I'm meeting with her in the Capital around sunset."

The Fire Lord nods. "I see. Bring the Dia Li with you to your meeting. The Imperial Firebenders will attract too much attention in the Capital. The Dai Li can disappear into the crowds."

"If she gets spooked off and disappears then we'll lose any chance of finding Iroh."

Tone growing more hostile, the Fire Lord replies, "Then capture her and torture her until she tells you."

Trying to explain without being condescending, Azula replies, "She's just a bounty hunter, Father. She'll be loyal to coin and coin alone."

He runs his fingers through his goatee in contemplation and finally replies, "Very well."

Azula has no further business so she bows before him. Once again grounded, he speaks to her.

"What have you done today to reshape the world by the Flame of the Fire Nation?"

A question as old as time itself. Ozai would ask this every night before dinner, back when he would actually entertain the company of his family for any sort of personal matters. It was his way of challenging and charging those around him with proving their worth, while framing it in the mind as further progressing their great Nation.

Azula searches for an answer that will satisfy him. She thinks of the quip she had thought of for her trip to see her brother.

"I am chartering a course to become an only child."

He nods and smiles, satisfied to see her on the right path. "This day extracts a heavy toll. But the hardest choices require the strongest wills."

He pauses before adding, "Do not fail me again, Daughter."

Azula stands. She leaves the Throne Room feeling pensive and determined. The calm becomes her.

* * *

All throughout the afternoon, people couldn't help but whisper about Azula's collected nature. The rumor had been that she nearly killed a servant girl on her first day in the morning. In one breath it was said to have been over a trivial matter. In the next, it was said to have been over something that every servant learns right way. To that end, Sayaka was receiving a fair bit of speculation and unwanted attention.

Azula was not overly kind to anyone, but she also steeled herself from further attempted murders. After her meeting with the Fire Lord, she traversed all over the Royal Palace. The servants, guards, and even Imperial Firebenders had expected more of a show after the rumors of what occurred at the Rock. Perhaps the rumors had been overblown, many thought. If the girl's friends had _truly_ betrayed her, certainly there would have been more fire about the Crown Princess, both figuratively and physically.

With sunset approaching, Azula walks through the Coronation Courtyard. She feels the eyes on her. She knows the earth bending agents lay just far enough behind her to not be seen nor heard. She knew that the Fire Lord would not trust her. She had counted on it to be the case, providing her exactly the sort of excuse she needed for why the Bounty Hunter 'wouldn't meet with her.'

She walks casually away from the plaza. She slips down alleys and narrow pathways. She doesn't go any faster or slower than she has walked all afternoon. She wanted the Dai Li agents to be accustomed to her speed and gait, so that she can lose them now. She arrives at a run of the mill wooden door. It's positioned against a cobble wall that encircles the royal palace. Knowing that the many twists and turns to get here had hidden her temporarily from prying eyes, she quickly opens it.

_Click_

_Woosh_

With no wasted motion, she slips in and shuts the door behind her.

_Woosh_

She stays at the door, hidden in the shadows, holding it closed, and peeks through the thin slits in the door. After a few seconds the Dia Li agents appear and stop at the door. They whisper to each other about her whereabouts and to her pleasure venture onward, assuming that they haven't caught up yet.

_FLOOM_

Azula lights a bright blue flame in her palm and turns to the darkness. She walks down the stone steps and ventures forward through the secret tunnel. She walks through the shadows, guided by her own light, for a few minutes. She eventually rounds a corner and climbs up a new set of stone steps. A new wooden door awaits her. She pushes and it opens with ease.

_Woosh_

She steps through and now she stands in another back alley. The shed she steps through is nondescript. It fades into the background of the world around it, on the outskirts of the city. She locks the gate closed with a simple mechanism, in case anyone happens to find her path and catch up to her.

_Click_

Azula steps away from her exit. She walks for a few moments and then turns back around. She can see clearly in the distance the high rising Royal Palace. The secret tunnel saved her a dozen minutes or so off the trip, but more to the point gave her freedom to leave Caldera City without surveillance. She turns away from the looming structure in the distance and walks away. She heads for Harbor City and the lush, green forests that surround it.

* * *

The vast expanse of the forest emerges into view. Blemished not with the fires and greasy smoke of the nearby industrial sector. The last of the sunset in the distance cast a low, orange glow over the trees which she had often traversed with Zuko, Mai, and Ty Lee. The birthplace of many adventures, the origins of many stories.

Happy memories which are a citrus to her now. They felt good to remember, until she thought too long about them and then they became acidic and bitter, filled with regret. She saw ghosts of her younger self chasing her friends through these woods. One by one, each of them disappears. Just as they had in her real life.

She is here, sullying the beautiful woodland of her homeland with the reality of her life now.

Azula finally arrives at a clearing. A wide open field amidst the mountains. She takes in a deep breath as her eyes scan the horizon. The setting sun set the green and yellow of the field ablaze, but it will soon be shrouded in darkness.

She wanders out into the clearing. She has been careful and deliberate. This makes her absolutely confident that she has not been followed. Any hope her father or the Dai Li had to catch up to and observe her was lost with her scattered trip through the forest.

When she feels far enough out, she stops. Carefully she sits down on the plot of land. She sits cross legged, straightens her back, and squares her shoulders. Cautiously she shuts her eyes. She listens to the songbirds in the distance. She feels the wind blow in her face. She connects her thumbs with her pointer fingers to form tiny circles on both hands. She raises them to her side. She breathes in through her nose, and out through her mouth. A river runs through her.

_'In through the nose…'_

She tries to gather the weight.

_'Out through the mouth…'_

It slips through her fingers like the sand from Ember Island.

_'In through the nose…'_

Her memory banks to the Boiling Rock.

_'Out through the mouth…'_

It's harder to see in her mind's eye than it is to find Ruki's Bird.

_'In through the nose…'_

She summons all of vitriol for Ty Lee, the traitor.

_'Out through the mouth…'_

She only sees a tiny girl, younger, smiling at her in the shade of the Royal Garden.

_'This isn't working.'_

Azula sighs and opens her eyes. When she opens them she catches sight of something. Azula quickly gets on her hands and knees and crawls closer to look at it. Within the shade of a bush she sees a single cream-white flower sticking out. Azula stares at the moon flower, and is enraged by it.

The last of the setting sun disappears. Clouds gather up above. The wilted, Agni forsaken flower begins to rise to life. She rises dramatically and stands in the dark of the forest, holding it. In her heart, the heat burns. It races through her veins.

_Crackle_

Instantly the flower ignites. It smolders in her hand and melts into ashes within seconds. She clenches her fist and refuses to release. The ash keeps in her hands. All of the memories. All of the pain. It fuels her. She feels the emotions all again. She feels the rage building. She feels the fury bubbling inside of her. She wants it to spill out. It rises up and up. She takes quick, successive breaths, growing more frenzied with each one. Her eyes sting with a pain she doesn't recollect. They grow hot and wet. A voice whispers in her memory.

_"Now… release."_

_CRACK_

_FLOOM_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Azula shakes her head and the blue fire continues erupting from her mouth. She points it at the ground and the blue fire burns the Earth below. She swings her head from left to right, the fire dragging on the ground along with it. Blue fire escapes from her mouth as she takes more, shallow breaths. She snaps her head back, shooting more blue fire out until she falls backwards.

"Ahhhahaha! Ahhhh! Ahh. Nur-nuh. Nuh."

Azula cries hard tears for the first time in years. She cries harder now than ever in her life before this moment. The clouds above absorb her lightning blast and this charges them quickly. The fire she has burned the forest with catches, and begins to spread. Azula writhes on the ground in pain and uncontrollable sobs. She hyperventilates and can only feel a vague, rising heat of the burning forest. She is powerless to stop it or escape.

_CRACK_

Lightning strikes above, thunder booms. A supercharged rain storm hails down upon Azula. It extinguishes the fire around her before it can become unstoppable. Azula cries and struggles to breathe. After screeching into the nothing, she released only the calm she had so delicately held together for the afternoon. She is destroyed, and all that remains are the broken pieces.

She cries, "I TRUSTED HER!"

The image of Mai and Ty Lee holding her in the forest comes to mind. She had felt lighter then.

_'I think you're afraid to end up alone.'_

She thinks of hiding in the shadows of a rock formation on the beach and kissing beneath the moonlight. Holding her hand in bed. Holding something perfect and not burning it down.

She remembers looking down at her disgusting hand and spider-like fingers. How she held a perfect moment in her hands, only for the touch of the sun to turn it to ash.

She thinks about lying on the concrete, face down, while Ty Lee danced around.

How Ty Lee thought of her as a monster.

"She lied," she mutters. Louder now, she screams, "SHE LIED!"

Azula pushes off the ground and gets up, staggering. She stares up into the splattering rain. Time slows down. She catches a glimpse of the nearby full moon. In the empty void of the night sky, it stood as a candle in the abyss.

_'She hates me.'_

The rage builds again within her breast. She summons all of her power, motions with her arms and tries to strike the moon.

_Crack_

Her lighting flies up into the sky, powering through the night, getting lost in the clouds. She tries again.

_Crack_

And again.

_Crack_

She tries to destroy the moon. She tries to erase the memories of the girl with grey-brown eyes. Strike it from existence or burn it all down. She wants to forget the memories.

But she can't.

She sinks down to her knees, stares up at it, and cries fresh tears.

She wishes she could talk to her. Wishes they could be together. Wishes she could go back to Ember Island. She wants to hate Ty Lee, but right now she just wishes she was here right now so the brunette could hold her. To shield Azula, and stop the explosion of wrath.

Azula hated that little flower.

She hates her mother.

She hates Ty Lee.

She hates… herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "mad woman" by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	12. Our Empire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ozai bestows a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Our Empire**

Azula floats through the air alone with her thoughts. It has been a whirlwind ten days for her, just as the last year has been. She had returned home from the storm a sopping mess, bathed and tried to sleep. But then she woke. And she thought. And she slept. Woke, and thought, and slept. Until the sun was about to rise and so she ventured out with General Lee and a battalion of soldiers.

She had very nearly killed Zuko and the Avatar and his gang, but yet again she failed. She nearly died in the process. She returned home, defeated once more, but the Fire Lord did not kill her. He was extremely displeased by her continued failure, but somehow he had been gentler than the last time. It perplexed Azula then just as it does now.

In this last week since her attempt to bomb them out, she has remained an image of stoicism at the capital. She has pushed her emotions down. She can go almost an entire hour now without thinking about the brunette in the prison. She hasn't even said her name out loud once since it all happened.

Azula has become the calm. She embodies the resolve. She is okay. She will be okay. She will break and burn and end everyone who opposed her now. She will set fire to the world and watch it burn down to embers alongside her father. It's the only thing that gives her day meaning anymore. She looks out through a thin veil at the procession through the Royal Plaza. They lag too far behind and she grows agitated.

She shouts at the servants, "Come on slowpokes! Faster!"

They struggle onward until they arrive at the destination. Azula quickly disembarks and runs up behind the Fire Lord. She stops behind him and kneels. Panting for breath, she apologizes, "Sorry I'm late, Father. Good palanquin bearers are so hard to come by these days. So, is everything ready for our departure?"

Fire Lord Ozai does not turn around. He continues facing away from her when he says, "There has been a change of plans, Azula."

Worriedly she asks, "What?"

"I've decided to lead the fleet of airships to Ba Sing Se alone," he tells her. "You will remain here in the Fire Nation."

Azula feels dizzy. Like she has just spent a minute spinning in a circle and has just been told to walk straight back to the Royal Palace. She asks, "But I thought we were going to do this together?"

"My decision is final."

This was why he had not berated her the other day after she failed to kill her brother. He had become his own calm, waiting until now to strike. He has strung her along to this very point, and now he cuts the line. She is deranged and can't filter her own thoughts before they come spilling out.

"You… you can't treat me like this!" She rises up to face him. "You can't treat me like Zuko!"

She has done everything ever asked of her. She has been strong, patient, and true. Yet at the final moment, she is being cast aside.

"Azula, silence yourself." He commands her.

"But it was _my_ idea to burn everything to the ground!" She shoots at him. She feels woozy and that she may collapse. "I deserve to be by your side!"

"Azula!" He shouts, turning his head to look at her. Azula remembers the decorum and bows her head in reverence. After all, the man before her is the Fire Lord first and her father second. "Listen to me. I need you here to watch over the homeland. It's a very important job that I can only entrust to you."

"Really?" She asks earnestly, hope shining in her voice.

He seems so sincere. There's nothing facetious about his tone or body language. She is being trusted with something, by the Fire Lord no less.

He turns to face her at last, "And for your loyalty, I am ready to declare you the new Fire Lord."

There's a shimmering in her eyes. They even twitch for a second as she can't help but ask him, "You are?"

A thousand thoughts rush through Azula. Her lifelong dream would become a reality, right here, right now. She would become the first female Fire Lord. Everything she had ever done. All of the lying. All of the manipulation. All of the violence she had perpetrated. Pushing everything down and burying those feelings within herself so that not even she could find them. Hiding herself and her emotions to the point that she shoved away every friend she's ever had. It was all worth it to reach this point. Now she would be the Fire Lord. Now she would be the one to decide what stays and what fades away. She would get to decide.

"I am," he starts while narrowing his eyes, "but there is something you must do first before you can become the true Fire Lord."

_'Of course. Of course there is more. There's always more.'_

"What is it? What more must I do?" She asks, desperate.

Of course he would still require her to do more. And this close to her goal, he knew she would do it. Azula felt that no matter what came from his mouth next, she would do it.

"Tell me, Azula, what have you done today to reshape the world by the flame of the Fire Nation?"

Azula's mind races. He wants her to prove her worth. She knows there are better answers, she knows she can think of something else, but her mind keeps circling back to the same thing. "I have lit the spark by which we, erhm, you will burn the world."

"Indeed. You have lit many sparks in your time." He replies. His eyes drift off and stare out into the distance. Then he looks back at her, "Do you worry that the fire within, the fire inside of you, has burned the candle from two wicks?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Her heart beats faster. There is an underlying question he is not asking. She knows this is not simply about her being exhausted or overworked. It has never been that simple.

"No. Never. I would never."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"Lo and Li don't agree. They said something at Ember Island changed you."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"Are they right? Do you burn with a different fire within now, daughter?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula stares into his amber eyes and she felt he was burning her alive with them.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"I have always had the outer and inner fire, Father." She tells him. "I was born with both. My flame has remained the same since my birth. And I will take the life of anyone who says otherwise."

Ozai smirks. "Ah, but you've never _actually_ taken a life, have you?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula can feel her heart beating in her ears. She wonders if it is audible. Or visible. Can he hear her heart beating? Can he see it? He locks into the gold of her eyes.

"Your first order of business as the Fire Lord will be to execute the traitor girl."

"Ty Lee?" She asks as her pulse quickens.

"Is that her name?" He asks absentmindedly. "Hmm, well then, yes. Her."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"She betrayed you, is a traitor to the Fire Nation, and allowed your brother to slip between our fingers. She must be put to death."

"Of course," Azula said, trying to think quickly. "But wouldn't perhaps a worse punishment be a lifetime as a prisoner?"

Ozai smiles at this. A true, genuine smile spreads across his face. With a head nod he says, "You're generous."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

_'Generous? Does this mean he agrees? He thinks it would be a good idea to just let her waste away? Will he allow it?'_

"Me."

_'"Me?" What does he mean?'_

"You're ruthless," he says with another pause. "Me."

He steps towards her.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"But I never taught you to lie," his tone grows harsher. He gets louder and towers over her. "That's why you're so _bad_ at it."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula feels that he sees through her. As if he knew everything she had done in the last year. Her nightmares, her dreams, her laughter and tears. What happened on Ember Island. Every waking second she had spent with Mai and Ty Lee. He knows everything.

_clap clap_

Ozai claps twice and a soldier approaches and hands him a long, thin metal object. He holds it in his hands and stares down at Azula.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"Kill the girl," he whispers to her. "Become the woman."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump_

He thrusts the object into her chest and she takes it from him cautiously.

"I had the Royal Blacksmith make this for you. It is a gift for your Coronation, since I will not be there."

He steps back. Azula's eyes fall to the object in her hands. He has given her an ornate scabbard. Finely painted and expertly crafted, all about it there are images of a bird on fire.

"Do not unsheath it until it is time to use it," He warns her. "It has a special inscription that I want you to read when the time is right."

Azula holds it and feels pride. She feels strength. She feels power. She has never felt so much recognition from her father in her entire life. She isn't sure what to do with this feeling. She stares down at the metal object in her hand and holds it delicately. As if it was but a tiny flower, about to melt away. Ozai's voice cuts through to her.

"Kill the traitor. Arise the Fire Lord." He says. Slowly he tells her, " _Kill the girl_ , and _become the woman_."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump_

She looks up and they make eye contact once more. Azula wants so desperately to believe that _this_ is love. All the things she's heard from other people. All that she has ever known or heard about it. She wants this to be the first moment where her Father loves her.

_'Is this what it's meant to feel like?'_

The truth is that she has never been more afraid in her entire life.

"Now," he says, standing up straight to his fullest height. He commands Azula, "Say it back."

Azula feels the fear rise in her. Her voice trembles, but she replies, "Kill the girl. Become the woman."

"Good," he replies with a mirthless smirk.

He goes on, "We will cover this world in ash and soot. Together."

This last word lingers over Azula. She tightens her grip around the scabbard. Her muscles flex reflexively.

"And then we will emerge as the rulers of all we survey. Our Empire," he says with a smile. "... of Fire and Blood."

_'Fire and Blood.'_

_'Our Empire.'_

_'Kill the Girl.'_

_'Become the Woman.'_

_'And for your loyalty, I am ready to declare you the new Fire Lord'_

"Fire Lord Azula? It does seem appropriate, but what about you?"

"Fire Lord Ozai is no more."

He puts his arms out at his side and three Fire Sages converge on him. They place new, Royal Garments on him.

"Just as the world will be reborn in fire," a new helmet is placed over his head. He narrows his eyes and tells her, "I shall be reborn as the supreme ruler of the world."

"From this moment on, I will be known as," he raises arms high into the air.

"The Phoenix King."

* * *

Azula can not take her eyes off the scabbard. She rides back on the palanquin and obsesses over it. She thinks about the conversation she had with her Father, the Phoenix King. She realizes now that the flaming birds on the scabbard are meant to be phoenixes. She thinks about how she is set to become the Fire Lord. No longer the Crown Princess, she will be the ruler of all she surveys. She is the one who will sit upon the Throne. Hers will be the power to banish and even sentence to death.

_'Kill the girl. Become the woman.'_

Azula feels like this is all part of something bigger. The questions, the scabbard, repeating the phrase to him. It is all some grand test of her.

_'Yes, a test. He's testing me. He's calculating my motivations and testing my loyalty. That must be it.'_

To become "Fire Lord Azula," she was ready to do anything. It's exactly like a Phoenix, now that she thinks about it. She'll have to surrender her attachment to her old life. She'll have to flame out into nothing and "die off." When she becomes the Fire Lord, she shall rise like the phoenix and join him in the sun. Azula must leave behind the girl that she is and has been. She will then become the leader she can be.

_'Kill the traitor. Arise the Fire Lord.'_

_'Kill the girl. Become the woman.'_

Kill Ty Lee and become the Fire Lord.

Her lifelong dream on the verge of becoming reality, and all she has to do is get rid of the girl she has been actively trying to forget anyway. It is as simple as that. It could be done quicker than falling asleep. Azula doesn't even need to do it herself. Tell her guards to do it. Tell the Dai Li, the Imperial Firebenders, any one of the servants, mercenaries, or anyone in the entire Fire Nation. Her prison guards could simply wait until she's asleep and kill her peacefully. Slit her throat or a blade into the base of the neck. Something quick, painless, and peaceful. She could simply go to sleep and never wake up again.

_'Why is this so easy?'_

Killing Ty Lee off in her mind is so simple. Doing it is another thing. Azula feels that this summarizes all that she learned from traveling the world. All of the adventuring, wandering, and soul searching had taught her this about herself.

 _'It's so much harder to be honest, and decent, and feel for others, and trust, than it is to be like…_ this _.'_

Azula looks back on a life of decisions. Each one had led her on the path that brought her to this point. Each one had brought her through all of her challenges and obstacles. Even if one decision had been different, it could have meant that she would not have reached this point. It could have meant never meeting Ty Lee, or the Firelight Fountain, or the midnight walk at Ember Island. It could have meant never chasing Mai or Zuko away. It could have meant never being on the verge of becoming the Fire Lord.

This fact alone makes her endlessly hate her past self.

Azula has mongered fear, hate, violence, conquest, and fire and blood. She has spent her entire life chasing away everyone around her. Everything she has ever done has led her to this point. To this moment.

_'If I look back, I am lost.'_

She must keep going forward. Looking back would mean confronting the horrible feelings that she has buried. Yet the guilt and shame rise above her like a wave, threatening to crash down. She can not face them. She can not go forward. She can not turn back. She is paralyzed by the moment.

" _You_ might _be the Fire Lord someday. You_ might _get to decide. So what do you want, Azula?"_

_'What do I want?'_

Azula will be the one. She will decide. She has decided. She will not kill Ty Lee. Her first order of business as the Fire Lord will be to banish her to a life of isolation. Build a new prison, one that Azula will design herself.

Azula will be the Fire Lord and Ty Lee will be forgotten to time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Lorde.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	13. Fear Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can you say the same?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Fear Me**

Azula stops outside a door. There is a fire in her eyes. There is a fury in her pulse. She will take _everything_ from them.

_Click_

_Woosh_

The door unlocks and opens suddenly. Confusion sweeps across the people inside, as this is not the right time. The guards had just changed shifts not long ago. There shouldn't be a new one for a while now. The light floods the room and blinds the occupants.

The brightness dims and their eyes adjust until all that remains is the vision of the Crown Princess, with her hands on her hips, her silhouette perfectly framed by the doors opening. Her face finally comes into view and it is not a pleased one. She steps into the room.

"Leave us," she commands.

"But Princess-"

"I already told you once. If I have to tell you again…"

Hastily the guard stands and skirts out of the room, being sure to avoid bumping the Crown Princess. Once out in the hallway, they find that the hallway guard has already been dismissed as well. They set off to find their compatriot.

_Woosh_

Ty Lee sits up straight and looks up at the girl as the door shuts behind her. The first thing she notices is that her aura is blood red. She wasn't sure if this moment would ever come again. It's only been a few days, but every minute had left her to wonder. A part of her always doubted the last time they saw each other would be at the Boiling Rock, but now Azula has unceremoniously arrived without fanfare or warning. All the same, Ty Lee knew what she would say. She's had all this time to think about it after all.

She summons all of her remaining perkiness not destroyed by the solitary confinement and greets her guest, "You found me."

Azula furrows her brow at this comment. She placed it immediately in the lexicon of their relationship. It was chosen to incise her from the start. Ty Lee has set the terms of the engagement. Anything Azula says from here is just matching that starter.

When she says nothing, Ty Lee quips again, "I thought you said you were gonna put me somewhere so that you'd never have to see my face again?"

Azula finally returns serve, "I've come here to bury you, not to see you."

 _'Bury me?'_ Ty Lee wonders if this means that Azula has come to kill her. She tries to shake it off. She sits up on her knees and speaks with a sweetness in her voice. "I hear congratulations are in order? Rumor has it you're to become the Fire Lord."

The act of taunting her captor comes to a surprising halt as Ty Lee says sincerely, "It's everything you ever wanted."

Ty Lee sighs as the mean girl in her fades. She can't keep deriding Azula. She is too relieved that she has come at all. The Crown Princess scoffs, "Don't pretend to act proud now. I know what you _really_ think of me."

She pauses and swallows. She speaks the words she has thought for so long, "You think I'm a monster."

_"I'm not like other people. I'm... built different."_

Ty Lee struggles to stand up, her hands tied up with rope so she can't chi block anyone. She gets up and approaches the bars separating them. She pleads with her, "I think you're confused."

Azula stares right at her, arms crossed, tense. Ty Lee continues, "All of your life you've used fear to control everyone around you, like Mai and Zuko."

_"But fear… it's all I've ever known. I don't know how to be different."_

Azula waves her arms and approaches the cell. Furious she shoots back, "Well what choice do I have? Trust is for fools. Fear is the only reliable way."

This final thought lingers in her mind a moment. She concludes, "Even _you_ fear me."

_'Fear her? She thinks that I fear her?'_

Ty Lee's eyes grow hot instantly. They sting and become watery. She begins crying softly.

"No. I _love_ you, Azula. I do."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

She finally has the courage to admit what she has always felt. She does it locked in a cage, thrown in there by the girl she is confessing to at last.

Azula's own eyes water. She violently shakes her head. She doesn't even love herself, she can not comprehend someone else loving her.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

_'How could somebody ever love me?'_

"I AM A MONSTER, TY LEE!" She screeches.

Ty Lee shakes her head in disagreement. This only serves to further infuriate Azula. Her eyes sting as loose tears spill with each violent movement of her head.

She pounds her fist against her chest with each new sentence and shouts, " _I_ am the thing you should fear always. _I_ am the thing that will destroy you. _I_ defeated the Avatar. _I_ conquered Ba Sing Se. _I_ saved the Fire Nation from the Black Sun. _I_ control the Dai Li, the Imperial Firebenders, the Fire Sages, the prison guards, the palace servants. _I_ will sit on the throne. _I_ will be the Fire Lord."

_Huff huff_

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

She pants shallow breaths. She bows her head and stares at the prisoner with a furrowed brow. The pain and rage mix on her face as she struggles to control her emotions.

Ty Lee shakes her head like a disappointed parent. Fresh tears come. She motions to her own chest and heart, in spite of her binds, "Well, _I_ will never be afraid of you, Azula. _I_ will never fear you. And _I_ will never be afraid of the feelings I have for you."

She presses her bound hands to her heart. Teary eyes stare into one another, distorting the familiar colors that each girl has previously sought shelter within. Azula scowls and shakes her head dismissively. She looks away, unable to look her in the eye as she says, "We were just friends, Ty Lee."

Azula had wanted this comment to hurt and it works marvelously. Ty Lee can't hide the pain on her own face as she spits back, "'Just friends' don't do what we did."

Ty Lee knows she is trying to create space between them. That's why she is here now. 'To bury you' is what she said. She doesn't have it in herself to go with grace.

_'I won't let her.'_

"I see you, Azula. And you see me. I know you like no one else in the _world_. Sometimes I think I know you better than I know myself."

' _In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys.'_

_'The touch of the sun.'_

_'Kill the girl. Become the woman.'_

"You don't know everything about me." Azula concludes, looking away.

 _"Everyone except for Zuko, they've always kept me at arm's length… Like I'm some_ animal _in a_ cage _."_

"I know that your entire life, everyone has taken things from you!" Ty Lee says with steely resolve.

"Taken? From me?" Azula is incredulous and her eyes fall again on the brunette. "No one has taken anything from me. _I_ have taken things. With fire and blood, I have taken my birthright and everything I ever deserved."

Ty Lee steps back and stares in disbelief. She wonders if Azula truly means it or if she is just being defensive. She replies, "No, Azula. They've _stolen_ everything from you."

Azula shakes her own head in pity and disregard. "You're out of your mind."

Ty Lee steps up to the prison bars again. She pleads with the Princess, "It doesn't have to be like this, Azula. _You_ don't have to be like this."

"Oh? I don't? Sorry, please enlighten me, what could I be like instead? Like you?"

The way these last two words come out belie exactly what Azula means them to say. She is drawing a line in the sand and saying that they are on different sides. Ty Lee knows they are not and shakes her head in disgust.

Azula asks her, "Tell me, did you think we were just going to run away? Just leave all of this behind? Get a little home in the Earth Kingdom together? Hmm? How did you think this was going to end? And how did betraying me play into those plans?"

Ty Lee tries to remain strong. Every word cut like a knife in between the bones. Each one an assault on her heart. She does not shed tears now, but she hurts all the same. She shudders and says, "I did it to protect you. So you wouldn't push Mai away forever."

Azula sneers and looks away again. "My father wants me to execute you."

She intentionally dangles this. Ty Lee's breath catches in her throat. She can't swallow and her mouth feels dry. Her tongue becomes like sandpaper, her teeth sharp and cutting. She steps back from the cell bars.

"But that would be too easy. Your punishment must be more severe."

The feeling doesn't go away for Ty Lee. Knowing her life won't end doesn't change anything. Azula approaches the cage. Now she grips the bars and leers.

"I'm going to throw you in a hole in the earth. Where no one will ever find you," she tells her. "You'll spend the rest of your life wondering if anyone will come and save you. You'll hope for it every single day. But no one will ever come."

There's a pause. Ty Lee stares out into space, trying to swallow, trying to breathe. Azula whispers to her, "You will never be found again. You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation."

A hole springs in Ty Lee's facade. Loose tears roll down her cheeks, smudging her face. Azula sticks her with a proverbial knife in the heart. She speaks slow and deliberately now, her voice so low that Ty Lee almost has to strain to hear her.

"There will be no little red door. There will be no lemon tree by your window. You will not know the seasons. You will only know darkness."

The dam breaks. Ty Lee sobs as Azula twists the knife in a way only she could. She leans against the back wall, creating space between them. She falls to the floor and lies in a heap, the heartache ravaging her. Azula wears a look of disgust.

"Look at you. You're like a wounded animal. Alone, in the dark, locked up, crying," she says. "Killing you would be too easy, when you're already dead to me."

Ty Lee hears these last few words and almost laughs at the hypocrisy.

"If I'm 'dead to you,' then why are you here?"

Azula leans against the bars now and rolls her eyes. She averts them so as to not look at her. "I told you already, I came to bury you. I wanted to see a coward in their rightful place."

Something builds in the chest of the broken girl on the ground. She looks up at the soon to be Fire Lord with a fire deeper than blue. She scrambles to her feet and rushes to the bars that separate them. She presses her face right up to them. They stand inches apart, even if they are separated by the cage.

"Huh!" She shouts and looks up. Her golden eyes rise and meet the teary grey-brown ones.

"You're the true coward, Azula."

 _'Me? A coward? Does she_ want _to die?'_

The rage rises up from Azula's stomach right into her chest. This is the moment she has been waiting for, a chance at revenge. To collect her pound of flesh. She looks to the wall and sees the keys dangling. She grabs them.

_Click_

_Woosh_

_BANG!_

The cell door clatters when she throws it open. She doesn't wait for it to open fully before moving in. Ty Lee puts her tied hands up but Azula shoves her back. She goes further into the corner. Ty Lee doesn't have the ability or the strength to resist. Azula smacks her bound hands down and grabs the girl by the collar.

_FLOOM_

The heat races through Azula's heart and veins. She ignites a fireball and holds it inches from Ty Lee's face. The heat radiates and burns her cheeks. It should be blinding. Ty Lee fears nothing. Not the fireball. Not Azula. Neither one blinks.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"GIVE ME A REASON!" Azula yells wildly at her.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

A wicked smile spreads across Ty Lee's face. She whispers to her Princess.

"You can banish me forever. Put me in the ground and bury me deep. But at least I'll go into the abyss knowing who I am and how I feel about you," the blue flame reflects off her eyes and Azula stares into it. "Can you say the same?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula looks at her by the light of her own fire. The image is so familiar. The streaks down her cheeks, the redness of her eyes. She searches those grey-brown eyes. The ones she stared into for what feels like most of her life. She looks down at Ty Lee's lips as they quiver and her breath pants.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Suddenly, the fire goes out and shrouds them in darkness. Azula pulls her in and their lips meet. Ty Lee's tied-up hands press against her abdomen and grip her shirt tightly. She wishes they were free so she could knit her fingers into the black hair. Azula leans her body in and pushes Ty Lee back further into the dusty corner. Their tongues lap over one another, their bodies flush against each other. One of Azula hands roams all over Ty Lee's back. Ty Lee's fingers untuck her shirt. Even tied up, she snakes them up under the shirt, but is stopped short by a mechanism in her armor. Azula lets out an involuntary, muffled moan.

They release and breathe shallow breaths. Azula has one hand on the small of Ty Lee's back and one on her collar. Ty Lee keeps her bound hands under Azula's shirt, her fingers flush against the warmth of her skin. Azula looks into her eyes. She feels the power ripping through her body. It beats in her chest and flows in her blood. A fire stronger than anything she has ever felt in her life. Electricity itself coursing through her veins.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

The realization of what she has done dawns on her like moonlight cutting through the night.

_Ba-thump_

She releases her grip on the brunette and steps back. Ty Lee's tied up hands fall in front of her. She smiles at first but as Azula steps back the smile fades. Azula's head swims in contradictions as she looks at the prisoner in her cell. Azula looks away. She looks towards the door. She steps out of the cell.

_Woosh_

_Click_

She stops after locking it but keeps her eyes down. Ty Lee approaches the cage bars. She begs her, "Azula. Azula, wait. Azula, dont."

The Child of Ozai turns away from the highborn daughter.

"Azula, stay. Azula, don't. Please."

The Seed of Sozin steps away from the former circus star.

"Azula come back. Please, Azula. Be with me."

The Future Fire Lord stops at the door while the prisoner sobs and pleads.

"Azula, please!"

Ty Lee wants to look into those golden eyes one last time. She wants to remember them before she goes into her hole in the Earth forever.

_Woosh_

_Woosh_

_Click_

Azula slips out the door and shuts it behind her. She exits without looking back or speaking another word. Out in the hallway, Azula leans against the wall. Her chest feels tight, making it hard to breathe. She can't believe what she's done. She needs to erase it from her memory. She needs to erase these feelings for Ty Lee from her heart.

_'She's a traitor. She's in that cell, alone. She betrayed me. She is nothing.'_

Azula feels that Ty Lee is an endless summer afternoon. In her mind, she is perpetually golden. Forever stuck in a fading daylight, picturesque and beautiful. The image burned into her brain from all those years ago has never left her. A little girl, offering her a pale-white flower, hidden in the shade of a world that was otherwise covered in the same colors. Azula must let her go. Let the image go. Let the memory go.

She steps away and leaves the hallway.

* * *

Ty Lee watches the door shut behind Azula and her knees buckle. She falls to the floor, and writhes on the ground, clutching her stomach. The anguish washes over her knowing that she may never see Azula again. That the last image she'll ever have of her is Azula's back to her, ignoring her cries for help, walking out on her.

She lies on the cell floor weeping when a voice whispers to her, "Are you alright, kid?"

She sobs as Wally talks to her. She wants to reply but she can't help herself. The pain comes in endless waves. Wally speaks again, "I heard most of that and I just… listen, I'm sorry for what I said before. I didn't know…"

Ty Lee never replies to Wally. Azula doesn't stop to tell the guards to return to their post, so no one comes for several hours. Ty Lee cries for most of that time. The hard feelings crystallize into a dead weight in her throat. She struggles to swallow and breathe.

As exhaustion sets in and Ty Lee's body begins to shut down, her mind rushes to find more positive memories to hold on to. She thinks about Ember Island and Auzla's bedroom. She goes back to all of their time together. She holds these memories close. They fill her heart with a pleasant warmth, a blanket covering her on the floor of her prison cell. It protects her as she drifts off to sleep.

* * *

Azula lies in the comfort of her Queen size bed for the last time as just the 'Crown Princess.' By this time tomorrow she will go to bed as "Fire Lord Azula." Her entire life's journey has brought her to this moment. Everything she has worked, fought, and hurt for is within her grasp. Yet Azula's mind is elsewhere.

She thinks about all the things she wants to forget. The way Ty Lee laughed and how she could still hear it in this very room, bouncing off of the walls. The brown of her eyes and the slightest tinge of grey that made them so distinct. How she was the only Fire Nation girl she'd ever met without gold eyes or black hair. How she found her. Awkwardly holding hands as they passed through the streets of Ba Sing Se without anyone knowing or caring about who they are. Putting makeup on each other. Unzipping her dress for her. Fireside chats after Mai went to sleep. Dancing in the streets. Watching her fall asleep. She thinks about all of these things so that she knows what she must forget. She thinks that forgetting them will help her to move on.

But just thinking about living without Ty Lee is lonely.

She rolls for hours trying to forget these things. She doesn't even realize as she finally fades off to sleep that she is holding on to these memories because of how much they mean to her. She doesn't want to forget them. She remembers them more vividly than she remembers anything else. They are more real to her than the very bed she lies in.

* * *

Azula shoots up from lying down. She breathes quick, successive breaths. She is covered in darkness. She feels soaking wet. Her clothes stick tightly to her, yet she still feels sweat running down her head and back. She clutches her blanket tightly and holds it against her. Her eyes dart around the room, trying to ensure she is not still falling from the sky. The same nightmare that has plagued her for so long.

_'It is your destiny to fall.'_

_'The end of the Fire Nation.'_

The chains around her arms and her neck.

_'Now… fall.'_

She looks up at the ceiling cautiously, fearing she will see Ty Lee's face fading amongst the clouds as she falls to her death. No such sight is to be seen above. She looks for any sign that she is still dreaming, that it is real. She finds none. She is alone.

She gets up and goes to her window. The rising twilight told her all that she needed to know. The sun is just below the horizon now.

The day has come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "Hard Feelings" by Lorde.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	14. The Beauty of Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayaka talks about men. Wally finds a perfect string.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**The Beauty of Dragons**

The Crown Princess comes to a stop at the top of the steps. She stands alone in the early morning dawn and looks out across the entirety of the Coronation Plaza. She takes a deep breath in through the nose and holds it. She has imagined this day so much that it feels more like a memory. She will be the ruler of all she surveys. She will be the one who decides. She will be the Fire Lord. She has finally reached the moment. Over one hundred years after Sozin brought the world to heel, it is Azula who will be next to lead the Fire Nation.

The teenager reflects on leadership and the mantle of power. So many men had spent their lives in search of becoming the Fire Lord. Her own Father had spent most of his life seeking it before usurping her uncle Iroh. How many men had sought to do the same? How many had sought to take the Throne from her father, or her grandfather? Men wasting their lives plotting and scheming, only to fail. All those men, too scared to act, lost to time.

Not Azula though. Like her ancestor Fire Lord Sozin, when an important moment came she had attacked it with conviction. Now, a hundred years later, the comet returns and lights the sky on fire, a rising flame before the sun.

Azula feels strength she has never known. She feels that her power has no bounds. She feels invincible and that she will live forever. Fire Lord Sozin, Azulon, even her father, they were all but men and time had come for them. Now it is her time.

The sun also rises.

* * *

Azula spits a small object into her hand. She turns to her servant.

"What am I holding?"

Yuzu is terrified to reply but nonetheless says, "A cherry pit."

"Correct. And what day is this?"

"It is the day of your coronation," Yuzu acknowledges.

"Yes, it is. So, please. Tell me why, on the most important day of my life, you've decided to leave a pit in my cherry?"

She throws the pit at Yuzu, who winces but otherwise does not move.

"It wasn't a decision; it was just a small mistake."

"Small? Do you realize what could've happened if I hadn't sensed the pit in time?"

Anxiety rising quickly, Yuzu deducts, "I suppose you could've ... choked?"

"Yes, then you will understand the severity of your crime."

Yuzu bows her head and replies, "I understand, Princess. Please, forgive me."

"Oh very well, since it is a special day, I will show mercy," Azula says offhandedly. "What is your name?"

"I am Yuzu, Crown Princess. I have lived my ent-"

"Very well, Yuzu," she turns to another girl. "Sayaka."

The head servant steps forward.

"Cut out Yuzu's tongue."

Sayaka knows better than to argue. She grabs a sharp knife nearby and approaches the young girl.

Yuzu scrambles for words. "Princess, I-"

"You what?" Azula asks. "You said you understand the severity of your crime. You nearly killed the next Fire Lord. I can think of a no more fitting punishment."

Sayaka had lost her grace with the Princess last week, she could do nothing for Yuzu now. She stands behind the kneeling girl and grips her head. "Stick out your tongue, Yuzu."

"Princess, please, I am truly sorry."

"You're not sorry," Azula tells her. "Not yet. Sayaka, proceed. If she refused to give her tongue, then cut out her throat."

Yuzu's eyes tear up. Sayaka fights an inner turmoil. She does not want to harm her old friend. She whispers, "Please, Yuzu, don't make this harder."

Yuzu feels an intense fear. She straightens her neck, sits up straight, and extends her tongue out. Sayaka reaches down and pinches it with her fingers. She pulls it further out and then brings the blade to its base. Yuzu's heart beats heavily. Azula watches with interest. Sayaka rears the blade back.

"Thank you, Sayaka, that will do just fine."

Confused, the black haired beauty looks up at Azula. "Princess?"

"Release her. There's no need for this. Besides, the blood would spill all over me and we can't have that."

Sayaka gladly steps back, if not bewildered. Yuzu breathes deeply. Azula turns and looks her in the eye, " _Now_ you are sorry. Should there be another mistake, I will cut that tongue out myself, fashion it as a trophy in my bedroom, banish you from the Fire Nation, and imprison your family for the rest of their days. Do you understand, Yuzu?"

Quickly she breathes, "Yes, Princess. Yes, I understand."

"Good."

Azula smiles malevolently. She looks back to the servants at her feet and nails who had stopped to watch the sequence unfold.

"What are you all looking at? I have two feet that need scrubbing. And make sure you get in between the toes. I won't have my first day as Fire Lord marred by poor foot hygiene."

* * *

The head of the Dai Li leads a procession into the dimly lit Throne Room. They kneel before their soon to be Fire Lord. He asks her, "You sent for us, Princess. Is everything alright?"

A disgruntled Azula sneers, "Actually, everything's not alright! Do you know how long it took you to get here?"

Unsure of where this is going he responds, "Uh ... a few minutes, I guess."

"Five, to be precise, in which time an assassin could've snuck in, done away with me and been on his merry way!" She berates them.

"My apologies, Princess." He grows impatient with the little girl.

"Is this how you plan to treat your new Fire Lord? With tardiness and disloyalty?"

He is quick to defend them, "The Dai Li would never betray you!"

"And I'm sure that's just what you told Long Feng before you turned against him and joined me!"

Azula hesitates before adding this next part. She must bend them to her will the way she bends the fire around the room.

"Let this be a warning: If you should ever raise a hand to me, it will be the last time you ever have hands."

The leader looks up in shock. Azula continues, "You won't have to worry about your response time because you won't be Dai Li anymore, you won't even be Earthbenders. I will chop them off myself and then send you back to Ba Sing Se to rule over a graveyard. Am I clear?"

Bowing his head again he replies on their behalf, "Abundantly."

"Excellent. Now leave, and send the next group in on your way out."

One by one the Dai Li agents stream out. They are terrified of her power. Yet they also grow tired of serving a petulant child.

* * *

The leadership for the Royal Procession enter the room next. There are a dozen of them, representing those who are responsible for the other Imperial Firebenders. Once they are present and kneeling Azula begins instructing them. "I have made a decision on what we will do with the prisoner, Ty Lee."

"Yes, Princess?"

"You will go to collect her and remove her at once. Transfer her to another prison for holding. I don't care where, but I want her out of the Capital by the time I am crowned Fire Lord."

"Understood."

One of the most senior members turns his head and nods. Two others immediately stand and file out of the room. He turns back to Azula and she continues.

"Once I am crowned the Fire Lord, my first order of business will be to banish her to a prison of her worst nightmares. I will design it myself so that she must confront her greatest demons every single day. Let it be a lesson for all who seek to disobey me."

An elder member interjects, "But your majesty, she was in your innermost circle and betrayed you. How can you allow her to live?"

"Ha! You think _she_ was in my innermost circle? Don't fool yourself. She was nothing to me," she explains. Azula is quick to bury Ty Lee's memory in their mind. "Still she _did_ betray me, so she will be imprisoned until the end of her days."

Azula allows another second of pause so her point can sink in. She launches forward, "You all however? _You_ will not be given such a lenient sentence."

The leadership group before her grows tense. She tells them, "Should you make an effort to betray me, you will be forced to face me in an Agni Kai to the death."

Allowing for another moment of dramatic effect, Azula drags it out before finishing them. "I will make sure that I am the last thing you see on this Earth. You will look into the white of my eyes as I watch the light fade from yours."

None dares look up at her. She commands them, "Am I understood?"

The room murmurs their agreement.

"Excellent. Now leave, and send for my advisors."

The Royal Procession's leadership stand and exit in silence, none so brave to even look at the Crown Princess on their way out. They all stew on what has been said. They are proud men, who have fought, killed, and survived through a lifetime of warfare. They feel that the pride of this teenage girl will eventually become her hubris, as it so often is on the frontlines.

* * *

As they enter the Throne Room, Lo starts in on the girl, "Azula, we heard what happened. Why have you threatened all your servants?"

"All your Dai Li agents…"

"And the Imperial Firebenders?"

Azula stares off into the blue flame surrounding her. She replies quietly, "None of them can be trusted. Sooner or later, they all will consider betraying me. Just like Mai and Zuko did."

"Why have you given the order to transfer the girl?"

Her eyes turn to the women finally and she asks, "Who told you that?"

They do not answer. Instead the twins say in unison, "Azula, we are concerned for you and your well-being."

She dismisses them. "You think I can't handle the responsibility of being Fire Lord. But I will be the greatest leader in Fire Nation history."

"I'm sure you will. But considering everything that has happened today…"

"Perhaps it's best if you postpone your coronation."

Azula doesn't turn her attention to them. She doesn't know who has suggested it, nor does it matter. She readies her attack on them. "That won't be necessary," she tells them. "I appreciate your concerns but I'm going to let you both in on a little secret."

"Huh?" They both ask.

"I've never liked either of you. I've grown tired of your appearance and your smell at court. So I am telling you now that as soon as I become the Fire Lord, you will both be banished from the Fire Nation."

Lo yells at her first, "You insolent child!

Li follows up, "The Phoenix King will never allow this!"

Azula waves this off without hesitation. "Then by all means, bring it up with him. But you'll do it from outside of the Fire Nation. My father isn't here to protect you anymore. The moment I am crowned, your time here is over."

More tempered, Li tells her, "This is not wise, Azula. You are playing a dangerous game and this will only serve to enrage the Phoenix King. He will not be as gentle towards you as you have been today."

Lo again yells, "You are not the Fire Lord yet, Azula. You'll do well to remember this."

"At this point it's merely a formality. And I'm sure he won't miss a couple of old hags, desperately clinging to the court to maintain any relevance in the world."

In unison they reply, "You miscalculate our place with the Phoenix King."

 _"No, you miscalculated!"_ She recalls.

"Get out of my sight before I decide to put you both to death instead."

Unlike the others who hemmed and hawed on their way out the door, the twins exit with poise. They know what the Phoenix King has not told Azula. It is their job now to ensure she learns the lesson.

* * *

Azula wanders the hallways of the Royal Palace, headed back to her chamber. She doesn't know why, but her thoughts are being consumed by her argument with Lo and Li.

_"You are playing a dangerous game…"_

_"Why have you threatened all of your…"_

_"... concerned for you and your…"_

_"... insolent child!"_

_"You are not the Fire Lord yet…"_

_"You miscalculate our place…"_

Azula wonders how different things would be right now if she had just been a little different. It's almost like she could sense another version of herself, roaming these halls, making different decisions. One that killed them all. Or maybe one that banished them all. Maybe that's not all that could be different. Maybe if one thing had been different, maybe it could all be different now? If she had not sought out her friends for help. If she had not gone to the Boiling Rock. Would Mai have still betrayed her? Would her life be the same? Would she still be alone on her coronation day? Would she even become the Fire Lord in that world?

_'So simple. One tiny change here or there. How different would my life be?'_

Azula comes to a stop. She has been so lost in contemplation that she's walked herself right into a wall. She doesn't realize what but something on it catches her attention. Her eyes trail upward and she is caught with a vision.

She sees a woman dressed in traditional Royal Family garb. Her hair is dark, and falls back below her shoulders. Her skin is light, but wrinkled in places it shouldn't be for someone of her age. She is about the same height as Azula. She has Azula's same golden eyes, but they are tagged with drooping eyelids and heavy bags under them. She is a woman aged well beyond her years. A woman who has sacrificed everything in pursuit of honoring her family and lineage. A woman sworn to duty, at the cost of love.

Azula looks at her reflection, but what she sees is Ursa.

She has not seen her mother so clearly like this since the day she walked out on her and Zuko. The woman staring back at her is more her mother than herself. She stares until the pain rises in her. She hates what she sees. Flowing through her like a river, the anger explodes upwards until her fist rises to match the rage within.

_Crack!_

Azula had only meant to crack the reflection; turn it into a spider's web the way she had done last week. The power flowing through her from Sozin's Comet had resulted in considerably more damage though. The mirror breaks and shatters, raining shards down on the carpet below. She feels a pain in her hand and looks at it. Her knuckle bleeds. She grips it with her free hand and blood pools into it slowly. She moves towards her bedroom.

The glass had been nothing before. It was fragile and brittle. Difficult to move without considerable effort. Now that it's broken, the shards are sharp enough to kill.

* * *

Azula storms into her chambers and collapses onto a seat by her makeup. Her fingers and palm run with red as she attempts to bandage the injury herself. She never hears someone arrive at her door.

"Princess?"

Quickly Azula eyes flick to the doorway. She recognizes the hair as dark as night itself. She turns away from her head servant and back to attempting to dress her wound.

Sayaka cautiously enters the room and approaches. She sees what Azula is attempting to do and insists, "Allow me to assist you, Princess."

Azula struggles for another moment on her own then groans and gives up. Sayaka sets to fixing and tugging the bandages. Her hands are nimble and quick. Azula leans back in her seat and reflects once more.

Despite this being 'the most important day of her life,' she could not help but feel like the whole thing felt… empty. Her entire life people have told her that she's the most beautiful, smartest, perfect girl in the whole world. She should be deliriously happy right now, but she's not.

_'I'm sadder than ever and I don't know why?'_

She is reminded of Zuko on the beach, saying he finally got everything he wanted. She remembers him screaming that he was angry at himself. She had called him pathetic back then, because she had not felt what he felt. She had not understood.

_'Perhaps I treated you too harshly, brother?'_

Sayaka finishes dressing the wound with beige bandages covering Azula's right hand. She asks, "Shall I finish your hair, Princess?"

"Please." And Sayaka sets to fixing up the topknot.

The memories and thoughts cause her pain. She just reminds herself that she will soon be the Fire Lord.

_'Fire Lord Azula. A more fitting title never existed.'_

_"It's everything you ever wanted."_

The familiar voice echoes in her mind. She tries to shoves the thought of the prisoner away. But no matter where she pushes the girl in her memory, she pursues her still and Azula thinks of her more. Her eyes water against her ironclad will. A sight Sayaka has never seen before.

"Princess? Is… is everything-"

"Not a word, Sayaka," she rubs the tears away. "Not an Agni damn word."

There is a pregnant pause. Sayaka knows better than to ask. Azula is not foolish enough to divulge. Instead, she broaches a new subject. She asks her hairdresser, "Tell me, Sayaka, what do the people think of me as their future Fire Lord? What do the people think I will be like?"

Sayaka answers in an almost sing-song like tune, "The Capital sings your praises at every opportunity."

"Sayaka." She says, but her tone says much more.

It is a day of many firsts. The Princess will be no more, instead becoming the Fire Lord. The first woman to hold such position. Sayaka had never seen tears on her face before a moment ago. She decides to be honest.

"Princess Azula, permission to speak plainly?"

Azula looks down at her knees as the girl pulls her hair. She had never asked such a question before. Azula flashes to the brunette who had always been the one to ask. She responds, "Would you lie to your Fire Lord?"

"Of course not."

"Then speak."

Sayaka composes her thoughts and takes a breath. She answers truthfully, "They say you will be ruinous."

Her tone is not hurtful. It is not malicious. It is stately. A matter of fact. She takes no pleasure in sharing this, but does so because she has been asked. "They whisper you are fueled by rage and hate. They think you are angry at the world. They believe you are mad. The men believe you will be the death of them. I suspect they will seek to usurp or coup you if given a reason."

"And what do you think, Sayaka?"

"It doesn't matter what I think." The lowly servant replies.

"It does to me."

This is a level of mutual respect that Sayaka had never before received from Azula.

' _With the right people around her, she_ is _fit to rule.'_

"All men will die," she proclaims.

Azula's head dips as Sayaka fashions it so. She thinks about the passing of time and the sun still rising each day.

"But you are no man. You are a _woman_."

Azula lifts her head at this.

"I know you better than all but one other. You are cruel, but just. Strong, but soft," Sayaka explains. "In my experience, men in the Fire Nation are fine with a powerful woman, but not a woman in power. When she is ascending they applaud her efforts. Once she has it, then she is a threat that must be eliminated. These men fear you because you are everything they will never be: powerful beyond measure."

Azula isn't sure if she's just saying these things to appease her or if she really means them. The words don't seem patronizing. They seem sincere. She stares down at her hands and the bandage wrapped around her bloody wound.

_'The touch of the sun.'_

She briefly considers telling Sayaka about how everything she touches turns to ash. To seek her counsel. But Azula can't do that. She isn't open and warm like others are.

' _I'm not like_ her _.'_

"You will have many people who will pursue you as suitors," Sayaka tells her. "You must be careful, Azula, with whom you share your heart."

These words reverberate across time. She flashes back to the garden when those words were first spoken to her. A silence falls over them momentarily. Azula weights the next question on her mind and decides to ask.

"Who knows me better than you do, Sayaka?"

Azula can not see her face. Sayaka smirks.

"You know the answer, Princess."

She remembers the butterflies that used to float in her stomach when she thought of the acrobat. Perhaps those butterflies had actually been a warning sign, trying to tell her to get out while she could. She wonders if the alternate versions of herself could have ever ignored the butterflies.

_"I see you, Azula. And you see me."_

Azula has to keep pushing through. She has to shove the memories of her best friend down, until the pain is nothing but a distant memory. In her mind though, those distant memories rise. She goes back to the circus. The first night when they met again.

_'I found her.'_

Azula wishes she could go back. Not to stop herself though. There is nothing she would change about any of it. She wants to go back so she can feel it all again.

* * *

"Mostly we deal with drunks who wander into our village and try to cause trouble. Sometimes it's cool stuff like, ya know, a flying sky bison that needs help…"

Ty Lee blushes with embarrassment.

"... that happens to be guarded by some crazy Fire Nation girls…"

"Oh Agni," she sighs.

"... who beat you up and put you in prison for the rest of your life."

"I said I was sorry!"

"What?" She startles sarcastically. "You? Oh, you did that to me, didn't you?"

Ty Lee giggles at the tease. Due to the coronation, all of the excess guards have been pulled from their posts. She and Wally are alone in their cells so they are chatting freely, albeit still whispering to not draw the attention of any patrolling guards.

"Well, I want to join you all. It'd be nice to settle down for a while. And besides, I think I'd look _pretty_ good in green."

Ty Lee's use of this word and the way she says it triggers a memory in Wally. She asks, "Hey wait, were you the one who said the thing about us not being pretty? Or were you the one with knives?"

"I didn't say you _weren't_ pretty!"

"So that was you!"

Ty Lee feels intense embarrassment again. Her cheeks singe red and she wishes she could just die on the spot. Defeated, she admits, "I said you weren't prettier than us."

"Wow, you called us ugly."

"Stop! I did not!" Both girls laugh at this.

Through the cracks she hears Wally whisper, "I'm gonna call you Pretty Girl from now on, just to remind myself and everyone else that we're not as pretty as you."

"Wally, no! Don't do that!"

"Too late, Pretty Girl."

Ty Lee rolls her eyes. She doesn't mind the nickname, she just wishes the context of it was different. A thought comes to mind as she ponders it and so she asks, "What do you even look like, Wally?"

"Hmm?" The girl hums back to her. "Well, I'm no Kyoshi Sunset, I'll just say that."

Wally wears a wry grin while Ty Lee giggles some more. "Seriously. I don't know anything about you! Tell me, tell me!"

With a sigh they reply, "Well, my hair is ginger, but usually looks darker when we're on Kyoshi Island. I've got lilac eyes, that everyone tells me I get from my mother. And my name's _not_ Wally."

Ty Lee snaps out of trying to envision the girl on the other side of the wall. She retorts, "Oh my Agni! Yes, tell me your real name. That way if we ever get out of here I can find you!"

" _When_ we get out of here, you mean," she tells her before adding, "And my name is Ruki."

Ty Lee sits up straight at this. She must have misheard. Shocked, she asks, "Ruki?"

"Yes, Ruki."

"Your name is really, actually Ruki?"

"What, you don't believe me, Pretty Girl?"

"No, I do. I Do. In fact, it's a beautiful name," Ty Lee smiles. It starts small and subtle before blooming. She asks, "Do you happen to have a pet bird?"

"What in the world? No? Why would that be your next question?"

"Uh, nevermind," Ty Lee panics momentarily. She pivots, "So are you in charge of the other Warriors? Would I need to apply to get in or anything?"

"No, our leader is Suki."

"Wait, so _Suki_ and _Ruki_?"

"Please stop, every joke you can think of we've heard."

Ty Lee stifles a giggle this time. She comes up with her own little joke and says, "Well, I'll talk to _Suki_ about my friend _Ruki_ and how she convinced me to join the _Kyoshi_ Warriors!"

Ruki smiles at this. She decides to press her for information. "She'll want to know how you ended up in prison with your friend Ruki."

Ty Lee huffs. She says nothing.

"It's okay Pretty Girl, you don't have to tell me."

Ty Lee turns her body and faces the cracks in the wall. She speaks softly into the whispering place, "I just… I really messed up."

"Yeah? I kind of got the feeling yesterday that maybe you two are, well, more than just friends." Ruki says. "That's what you suggested anyway."

_"'Just friends' don't do what we did."_

"Did you like… try to kiss her or something?"

Ty Lee chortles at this, "No. That wasn't it. I chi blocked her."

"Chi block?" Ruki asks.

"It's a way to take away someone's bending."

"That's possible?"

"Temporarily. A few seconds, a few minutes, depends."

"Wait really? That's plenty of time! That would be very useful for the Kyoshi Warriors."

"Yeah? Well, if we ever get out of here I'll teach you and everyone else."

" _When_ we get out of here, Pretty Girl." She whispers back.

Ty Lee smiles at Ruki's optimism. There is a natural break as their conversation dies at last. After some quiet contemplation, Ruki decides to address the elephant in the room.

"So, today's her day. How are you feeling about it? Do you think you'll ever see her again?"

Ty Lee considers it. She knows what Ruki is not asking. What she hasn't asked. What she wants to know. Ty Lee will be sent away forever soon, what harm is it to tell her? She could be gone by tomorrow or next week and who knows how long they could whisper like this for before the guards return after the coronation. When she is sent to her hole in the ground, she will have no one to tell. No one will care. No one will listen.

_"You will never be found again."_

Ty Lee whimpers and tears come alive. She proclaims, "I love her. I've always loved her."

Ty Lee sobs. Ruki tries to soothe her, "I can only imagine how hard it's been for you. On our island of Kyoshi, we love whoever we want."

"I told her something similar," Ty Lee sniffles and wipes her nose on her sleeve. "But now that she'll be the Fire Lord she might kill me for it."

"No, no, she won't. If she loves you-"

"I don't know, Ruki. She's spent her entire life trying to get here, I just don't know."

"When things are dark, I sometimes think it's best to remember when they were brighter. Pretty Girl, tell me about her. Tell me why and how you fell in love with her."

Ty Lee rubs the tears away. Cautiously she asks, "You _really_ think that's going to help anything?"

"Yes. I think it will. Do you trust me?"

These words reverberate across time. She flashes back to the beach when those words were finally met with an affirmative response. She smiles as the memory fills her soul up, until her cup runneth over.

"I do." She replies.

"Good."

* * *

Ty Lee spends some time telling Ruki about the relationship she had with Azula. Their trek around the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom. She tells her about the Firelight Fountain and the late nights and the walk on the beach. She gets so lost in telling the story of their love that she forgets many of the smaller details. Yet even still, the flame of their love burns brightly within the acrobat.

Ruki had listened intently. She has plenty of time to formulate what she wants to say. When Ty Lee finishes and there is a long enough pause, Ruki tells her, "Damn, Pretty Girl. That's something. You love her as a moth-wasp loves a flame: too close and too much."

Ty Lee chuckles at this comparison. She has a bigger one in mind. "Moth-wasp. That's beautiful. I've had this thought for so long that I've been chasing a dragon."

"Oh dragon, yes, absolutely." Ruki starts on. "Because she's terrifying and horrific and the fire and…"

Ruki goes on listing comparisons, but hearing the girl call Azula horrific and terrifying hurts Ty Lee. She briefly regrets telling Ruki about this. She wishes she had more of a filter. She isn't introspective and thoughtful like others are.

' _I'm not like_ her _.'_

Ty Lee jumps back into the conversation, "Even though she's burned me down, I keep going back to her. Because even though she's burned me and she may burn me again in the future, I never learned to stop loving fire."

Ruki feels her heart break for the girl. She searches for the exact right combination of words that will assuage her. Ty Lee has never given up on the girl, even if she swears to put her in the ground. She had run away from home and all dreams of ever spending her life with the princess of her heart. Until she came to her at the circus. The first night they met again.

_'She found me.'_

Ty Lee wishes she could go back. She wouldn't even change anything. Simply so she could be with Azula again. It is at this moment that Ty Lee realizes that the crests of the waves were worth it, even if the falls had brought her to this prison cell.

Ruki finds her perfect string.

"You know, there's a lot of reasons to love dragons. They can breathe fire and beat the strongest heroes. Lay waste to armies and fly us to faraway places. They seem invincible, even when we try our hardest."

Ty Lee listens intently.

"But that's the beauty of dragons, because the only stories you hear about them… are ones where the dragon is slayed in the end."

She is reminded that the dragons have all been dead for nearly a hundred years.

"Usually by some upstart nobody, who works up the courage and finally outsmarts the dragon."

Ty Lee smiles. She sees now what Ruki meant. Her eyes stinging clear once again she replies, " _When_ I become a Kyoshi Warrior, we're going to be best friends."

Ty Lee can sense her smiling through the wall.

_Click_

"I can't wait."

_Woosh_

Light penetrates the abyss. Ty Lee looks up and strains her eyes. She lifts her bound hands up to block it out. She looks up at the block of her hands but they don't fully block out the light beams, which erupt from the outlines.

Two figures approach. As they arrive, Ty Lee sees them covered in green. They are older, much older, their skin tanner. They scowl down at her. Realization sets upon Ty Lee.

"No, no, not yet," she pleads. "I'm not ready."

One carries a cloth in his hand, the other a segment of rope. One reaches for the keys. "By order of the Fire Lord, we are here to remove you from your cell."

_Click_

_Woosh_

"No! No! Not yet!" Ty Lee cries, but they handle her all the same.

One of them slips behind her and lifts the rope up. He loops it over her head and pulls it tight against her mouth. The other Dai Li agent pushes her bound hands down towards the ground. They force her to step over them and then pull her back into a standing position. Her bound hands are now behind her back. The Dai Li agent standing before her whispers, "It's a special day and it's going to be one you never forget."

The next thing she knows, Ty Lee is shrouded in darkness. The earthbenders toss a sack over her head. They yank and pull her arms out of the cell. She resists and they lift her up off of her feet. She tries to scream and it dies on the gag.

Ruki hears the whole thing happening. She knows she will be punished but she screams all the same, "Be strong, Ty Lee!"

She tries to scream back but nothing makes it out.

Ruki calls out, "I swear we'll come for you! There's nowhere on Earth they could bury you that we won't find you!"

She cries fresh tears as they carry her off. Ty Lee prepares to meet with a prison of her deepest, darkest fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter's OST is "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	15. Kill the Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All of Azula and Ty Lee's dreams come true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Kill the Girl**

Azula stands at closed double doors, the audible sound of a procession on the other side. Her hands shake unconsciously as the moment grows closer and closer. Fashioned to her side is the ornate scabbard her father had gifted her for this day. It brings her no peace. She is waiting for the last moment of her life as the Crown Princess. She stares at the gap between the doors and asks herself if it's even a gap. The space is black but the doors appear closed. She debates it internally to keep her mind busy. Her hands shake more violently.

Behind her two Dai Li agents stand ready to attack. They are her 'security detail,' which feels frivolous. An exercise in futility. She is the child of Ozai, the next Fire Lord, she wields a sword of her father's design, and the power of Sozin's comet flows through her. The Dai Li agents slide closer. Her hands shake out of control and she doesn't know what is causing it or what to do.

A soft hand touches her shoulder and asks her, "Princess?"

Azula's hands stop at once. The soothing calm of another's touch stills them instantly. She turns to face the gold eyes and black hair. "Thank you, Sayaka."

Her head servant nods and moves to stand beside her. They stand side by side as Azula prepares to make her grand entrance. The teenage girls stand together but are worlds apart. Sayaka knows what comes next, while Azula finds herself afraid of going into the unknown. She seeks to find something to distract herself. She looks sideways at her loyal servant.

Azula asks her, "You're set to be moved off of my staff soon, aren't you?"

Sayaka belies her feelings on the matter by remaining stoic. She just replies, "Yes, Fire Lord."

Azula shifts the weight of her feet and asks, "Will your family have you married off then?"

"I suppose they will," she admits. "I'll be of age. All of the maids who have come before me, who paved the way for me and taught me? They all were married off upon turning sixteen."

Azula shifts her weight again, her fingers fiddling with the base of the sword at her hip. She recalls a question she once asked a brunette. Her head remains facing forward but she asks the girl beside her, "Tell me, Sayaka, what do you dream of?"

Sayaka has been conditioned to respond a certain way. She says, "I have lived my life in service to the royal family. My very way of life is a dream for many others."

Azula shakes her head. This predisposition from her servant to lie is a monster of her own making. She has created a fear in the girl to speak her mind. She did not want that for her, not anymore. She asks, "But what if you got to choose what happens next? Would you want to?"

Sayaka had come to accept long ago that she is disposable. Being Azula's longest tenured servant came with a certain doom. A resignation to a difficult life. And despite a lifetime of working to manipulate the Princess, she had awoken this morning, on the day of her coronation, in poor graces. Her life, she felt, was over. Her life, she felt, had been meaningless.

She now feels that something had changed within Azula. Whether it was for the better remains to be seen. But certainly it seemed to be for good.

 _'Was it some_ thing _or some_ one _who changed her?'_

"It doesn't matter what I want," Sayaka huffs. "I can't have what I want right now."

That answer is all too familiar to Azula. She knows the feeling well. She hates that feeling. A memory comes to her.

 _"You_ might _be the Fire Lord someday. You_ might _get to decide."_

"Well, we'll have to change that won't we?"

Confusion rises within the teen beside her. She turns her head and asks, "Fire Lord?"

Azula doesn't smile. She doesn't betray the exterior of a battle hardened monster. She replies, "An old friend told me that if I ever became the Fire Lord that I could change whatever I wanted. That I would get to decide. So whatever it is you seek to do with your life, be that in service to the throne, or a husband, or to yourself… I will see to it that you get to decide that."

Sayaka can't believe her ears. Azula turns away from the doors and looks into the bright, golden eyes. "You have lived to serve. I will see to it that you get to decide what you live for next."

Sayaka's jaw hangs open. She can't find any words to repay the feeling this is giving her. Azula has breathed new life into her. A life of her choosing. Azula senses the suppressed joy in her servant. She raises her hand and pats her on the back lightly.

_'The touch of the sun.'_

She looks at her hand touching the girl and hastily removes it. The Dai Li agents standing guard exchange eye contact having listened to this entire conversation. They slide closer to the girls.

Azula faces forward. The noise on the other side of the door grows louder. The time is coming. Yet for the first time, she allows herself to openly think about how she will get her back. How she will save the one who knows her better than anyone, better than even Sayaka. Azula will be the Fire Lord. She will get to decide.

"Fire Lord, may I ask what you dream of?" Sayaka finally asks.

The doors begin to open. The truth is that she dreams of a girl with grey-brown eyes. Azula's hands are still at her side. She lies to herself one last time, "I dream of this moment, Sayaka."

Azula leaves Sayaka and her life as a Princess behind.

* * *

Dressed in the garb of the Fire Lord with her armor underneath, Azula stands before the Fire Sages and rules over all that she surveys. The Coronation Plaza is filled about halfway to capacity, maybe a little less so. A disappointing turnout for the youngest Fire Lord to ever be crowned. She looks out at the group. It is mainly the Royal Procession, of which there are numerous, and Dai Li agents. At the bottom of the steps in the plaza, just off to the side she sees Lo and Li. A collection of servants, sans Sayaka, are congregating together to watch as well. Completing the crowd are a number of citizens from the Capital.

All of them come to see Azula, a woman standing conflicted before them.

For Azula, none of it feels right. There's just something missing and she can't place it. It's not her father or brother or even her mother. It's not the girl she misses. It's not what is missing, but what is present. The people are not enthused. They are not celebrating. They are not happy for her. Why should they be, when Azula isn't even happy for herself.

It is everything Azula has ever wanted. It is all hers. She has taken it with fire and blood. Yet her mind sticks to Zuko on the beach and herself in her chambers. There is a void in her stomach, where no butterflies float and all of her energy is sapped from her. The Fire Sages drone on through the procedures, but her ears prick when they reach this next stage.

"Your Princess, Azula," he starts and there is a smattering of applause. "Has accomplished much in her young lifetime. She is a true firebending prodigy…"

_'I was skilled when I was younger, now the world has begun to catch up.'_

"... defeated the Avatar in battle…"

_'I attacked my opponent when they turned their back on me.'_

"... led the Coup of Ba Sing Se…"

_'A "liberated" city that I then proposed we burn to the ground.'_

"... orchestrated and led the defense of the Fire Nation from the Day of the Black Sun…"

_'Pure, dumb luck that I learned about it from the Earth King.'_

"... is a hero in our time…"

_'I'm not a hero. I'm a monster.'_

"... and will stand beside Phoenix King Ozai atop the Fire Nation Empire!"

 _'Will he still stand beside me when he finds all that I have chosen to do in his absence? Will he still love me? Has he_ ever _loved me?'_

Those gathered in the Coronation Plaza applaud to Azula's surprise. The words are hollow. The sermon preached by the Fire Sages are not anointed with the reality of how they were accomplished. Azula has done the most terrible things to get here. She has taken it with fire and blood. Fire burning down everything in her path. Bloodletting of everyone who has ever cared about her, as she pushed them away with fear mongering.

"Azula," a low voice whispers to her. " _Kneel_!"

Realizing that she has delayed her own moment, she quickly falls to one knee and bows her head before the Fire Sages. One stands and holds the headpiece behind her.

"By the decree of Phoenix King Ozai, we are now ready to crown you as the Fire Lord."

The Fire Sage looks out across the Coronation Plaza. His eyes track down to the bottom of the steps at a pair of eyes awaiting a command. Ever so subtly he nods his head. The return expression is a bowed head and a double clap of the hands.

_clap clap_

Azula waits for the Fire Sage to finish the ceremony. She expects it any second. Yet as the entirety of the Coronation Plaza grows quiet with anticipation, she hears a muffled sound nearby break through the silence.

"Mhm! MHM!"

Azula dares to peek an eye open. Once she sees it, both eyes fly open at the sight. At the bottom of the steps, out in the flat of the Coronation Plaza, a pair of Dai Li agents carry a wounded, straggling animal out for display. It's head covered by a black cloth, Azula looks down and realizes it is no animal at all. It is a person.

She rises, "What is happening? What is this?"

"Tell us, Azula," a croaking voice shouts up to her. "What have you done today to reshape the world by the flame of the Fire Nation?"

Azula looks down at Lo and Li, then slowly begins descending the stairs. The Dai Li agents position the person at the foot of the steps. They shove them to the ground and then walk away as quickly as they came. A single Imperial Firebender approaches. He bends over and grabs the body. He pulls them upright. They try to struggle and he shoves them back down. The body kneels at the bottom of the steps. Azula draws closer and closer but the realization rises above her like the comet giving her strength.

She is nearly at the bottom when she replies, "But this was supposed to be my first order of business _after_ I became the Fire Lord."

The plaza crackles to life like a flame in Azula's palm. They murmur to one another. The Royal Procession, the Dai Li, they are silent. The citizens are ablaze with whispers.

Azula reaches the bottom, her mouth slightly agape. The guard steadies the body of the prisoner by gripping their shoulder tightly. Lo steps forward, producing a sealed roll of parchment she had kept hidden. She holds it high above her head momentarily, showing it to everyone. She pulls it back down and cracks it open. She unfurls it and reads aloud.

"By the decree of Phoenix King Ozai. For the crimes of high treason, and gender betrayal," she starts. The crowd's quiet murmurs explode at these last two words. Shouts of outrage from the mob of people come forth. Lo relishes this reaction another second before continuing, "I sentence Ty Lee… to death by execution."

There are jeers and cheers in response to this news. Yet the silence of the hundreds of eyes falling on Azula all at once is the most devastating part. She feels all of their eyes burning into her.

"This execution shall be, in accordance with our laws for such crimes, a public beheading. I hereby also decree that the executioner shall be my only daughter, Azula."

_"Kill the girl."_

There is a raucous applause. The people have not seen such excitement at court in some time. They are enthused. They are celebrating. They are happy for her.

"Only afterwards will she be crowned as the Fire Lord."

_"Become the woman."_

Azula can't look at anything else. She stares down at the body of a girl, kneeling at her feet. She is dressed in the same pink clothes. Her hands are tied tightly behind her back. She hears muffled noises beneath the black headcovering.

"May she reshape the world by the flame of the Fire Nation, or else meet with the same treasonous end as the girl."

Li now speaks, saying, "He gave us this important task of informing you at just the right moment. He instructed us that this would be your first act as the _true_ Fire Lord. Prove your worth."

The guard rips the cloth off her head and all at once she is blinded by the lights. Stuffed in a prison cell for nearly two weeks, then covered in darkness, all of the sunlight is overwhelming. Azula stares at the top of Ty Lee's head. The brown of her hair is all she sees, her face hiding from the light. She bows her head to the ground, her chin buried in her neck as her eyes try to adjust.

Ty Lee looks up at Azula. The sky is a mixture of orange, pink, red, and gold. The clouds are a picturesque violet, billowing perfectly without blocking the view. The rising sun, in all of its fiery glory, floats just over the horizon. The burning light of Sozin's comet sets the sky on fire. Her eyes adjust until it is a saturated brightness, so it doesn't hurt her eyes but she can't look directly at it either. Instead she looks at the slightly bowed face of the girl in front of her. All about Azula's frame is gold and black.

Azula looks down at Ty Lee. Blanketed by the looming shadows, the brunette is sanctuary in a world otherwise on fire. The lone exception to a world covered in the same pale golden light. The light all around is pretty, but it is within the shade that Azula's eyes track.

The streaks down her cheeks, the redness of her eyes. The way the remnants of recent tears smudge her face. A little girl, hurting, and in need of a friend. In need of Azula. They stare at one another a moment. Azula, surrounded by sunlight. Ty Lee, rare and glimmering in the dark.

For the kneeling traitor, the sight is beautiful and terrifying. She remembers her dream of a dragon coming to bury her in the ground. She had dreamt it the first night she had decided to join Azula. Now she lives her nightmare.

Her best friend towers over her with an aura as black as midnight. It is darker than any that Ty Lee has ever seen. She cries hard tears looking up at the sight, but every sob is snuffed out by the gag around her mouth.

"MHM! MHMMM!"

She tries to rise up, but the guard pushes his weight down upon her to keep her on her knees. She does not beg to be spared, but she still weeps before the girl that she loves so deeply. The girl who will now end her life.

Azula knows what must be done. She has never counted the costs before. She has done whatever it takes every step of the way. This is the final cost. The last pound of flesh to be extracted. A grim resolve befalls her. She will not start counting the costs now. All eyes and ears await her. The people, the servants, the Dai Li, the Royal Procession, Li and Lo. Obey, and be crowned. Refuse, and meet with the same bloody end.

"Turn her around," she commands the Imperial Firebender. "I don't want her to see this."

"MHMMMM! MHMMM! MM!"

Ty Lee violently shakes her head and screams into the gag. She calls Azula a coward, she begs her to not turn her around, she cries harder tears. If she has to die she wants to go looking into those golden eyes. Yet in her final moment, with but another twist of the blade, Azula denies her this last wish. Azula will give her no grace.

Ty Lee struggles against it but is helpless, as the Imperial Firebender twists her arms and turns her around. She turns away from the sun, the comet, and golden eyes. Her last sanctuary slips away as she turns to face the crowd. The tears blur her vision but all of the faces are unknown to her anyway. The last thing she will see on Earth is the foggy view of people who have never met her, yet cheer her death on all the same. The emotions overcome her. She weeps and bows her head in pain.

_FLOOM_

Ty Lee feels an intense heat near her face. A second later a strict voice instructs her, "Stand up straight and expose your neck for the Fire Lord."

Through bleary eyes she looks up to the guard standing over her. He holds a fireball inches from her face and growls down at her. He threatens, "If you struggle again, if you make any effort to move, I'll simply burn you alive right here and now."

Fresh tears come as he goes on, "And after you're dead, we'll go find your big family and kill all of them too, one by one."

Ty Lee had no love lost for her family, but the idea of each of them meeting with the same fate disturbs her. She whimpers as the tears on her face begin evaporating under the intense comet-fueled fire. She does as she's told. Slowly she sits up straight, squares her shoulders, and exposes her neck. Her head bobs around ever so subtly with the tears and sobs.

Azula stands behind her and grips the handle of the weapon at her waist. She unsheathes the sword and spins it in her hand momentarily.

"Now, Fire Lord Azula," the guard says in a low but firm voice. "I don't know if you've ever done this before, but a bit of advice: Step very close. The neck is thicker than it looks to cut through, even the little ones like hers."

Azula looks down at the ornate handle. For the first time, she notices an inscription etched into the blade. Her father wanted her to see this when the time was right. She reads it.

_'Rise from the Ashes.'_

Azula recalls yelling at Ty Lee in the prison cell.

" _You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation."_

Azula looks away from the inscription. She steps up and is right behind Ty Lee, the guard another foot in front of her. He holds the flame at her face, making her sweat and burn. Azula carefully rests the blade on her shoulder. Ty Lee squeals at the feeling of the cool steel on her neck. It does not escape her lips though, as she screeches into the nothing. Azula looks at the handle again. In her own hands she holds the sword.

_'The touch of the sun.'_

Ty Lee looks up into the sky. Some birds flutter away. Time slows down and her life flashes before her eyes.

_'Holding her in the forest clearing.'_

_'Seeing her at the circus and falling on purpose.'_

_"We were born with both, Ty Lee."_

_"Do you trust me?"_

_"I love you, Azula. I do."_

The Fire Lord fidgets with her hold. She stares down at the brown hair, and the canvas of her neck which she is about to adorn with steel. She announces to the world, "In all of my years of conquest… slaughter… bloodshed, it was never personal." She tightens her grip around the handle.

"And neither is this."

Azula summons all of her courage.

She lifts the blade on high.

Time slows to a halt.

For a moment the blade glistens, the burning sky reflecting off of it. Memories rapidly flicker in her mind's eye.

_"In the Fire Nation, little girls like little boys."_

_'The touch of the sun.'_

_"I AM A MONSTER, TY LEE!"_

_"Kill the girl. Become the woman."_

_"I love you, Azula. I do."_

She steps into it and with one fluid motion she swings the blade down.

_Swip!_

The blade rips through flesh and keeps going, cleanly through. It cuts through the base of the neck. They're dead before their head hits ground.

_Thud!_

Blood sprays and splashes onto Azula's face and armor. Splattering onto the ground of the coronation courtyard, Azula watches the head fall.

Ty Lee feels the heat of the fire one moment, then she feels nothing. The fire is gone. Blood sprays and she watches with eyes wide open as the head of the guard rolls on the ground before her. Another moment later his body hits the floor.

_Thud!_

_Swip!_

With another fluid motion, Azula slices the ropes holding Ty Lee captive. This frees her hands and the brunette feels her shoulders move without restriction for the first time in hours. She has no time to process what has happened before Azula is acting once more. Azula turns to her side and with all of her might she hurdles her father's sword at Lo.

_Swip!_

The blade cuts right through the old woman, who staggers backwards and collapses. She falls flat on her back, the sword sticking out of her. Li turns to her sister on the ground, completely stunned. Lo struggles to breathe. Her mouth quickly fills with a liquid. It tastes like iron. Li turns back to look at the demon girl.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" She screams. "KILL THEM!"

Azula's eyes dart all about as gasps and screams take place. It is only fractions of a second but she sees the Dai Li begin sliding. She spins her arm around swiftly then extends her fingers towards them.

_Crack_

Lightning blasts off a few feet from Ty Lee's head. It surges forward and crashes through a number of the Earthbending agents and they are dead on arrival. Their bodies fly through the air, charred corpses rolling on the ground when they land.

The first strike on the Dai Li buys the Imperial Firebenders precious seconds to disperse. The servant girls scatter in terror and the Capital citizens shove one another to make their escape. Some of them fall down and are crushed by the stampede of feet. Ty Lee stays on her knees, shock keeping her paralyzed to the plaza floor. The guard's head stops rolling, his vacant eyes staring up into the sky. Ty Lee looks at the blood spurting out of his neck, staining the immaculate tile beneath.

Azula had spared her life and in doing so forsaken the crown. Ty Lee's head is heavy on her shoulders but with effort she turns and sees her savior. Glistening with sweat, she rears back a hand, then launches it forward and an inferno bursts forth, bathing half of the court in a deluge of blue flame. Ty Lee looks up at her in astonishment, her jaw hanging open as much as it can despite the gag. Azula stood in that moment perfectly still, like a painting. A moment ago Ty Lee saw her life flash before her eyes, but now she sees a new life taking shape.

The sparks and the flames may explode from her hands, but the greatest fire on Earth is the one that flickers within Azula's soul.

The flame of her love for Ty Lee.

* * *

_FLOOM_

Azula sends out a second wave of blue fire towards the guards trying to flank her. The flames rise high into the sky. They eradicate anything they touch, but mostly they give her a bubble of protection for the time being. Sozin's comet is imbuing her with great strength, but the numbers are not in her favor, even with her quick strike to defeat many of the Dai Li. She turns to the girl still kneeling.

"Listen Ty Lee, I'm doing everything I can to save us," she starts with a lilt in her voice. "Can you say the same?"

Realization finally crashes upon the teen. Hastily she climbs to her feet, yanking the gag from her mouth and untying the remnants of rope on her wrists. She turns around and takes a step back. The wall of fire that Azula has set up to shield them begins to dissipate from the Firebenders all around them trying to calm it.

They stand back-to-back and turn to face their foes. Ty Lee raises her fists up and bends her knees, prepared to flip through her enemies. Azula leans forward and spins her fingers around to summon the lightning storm. The childhood friends take their stance, facing the wrath of the Fire Nation.

The Princess and the Commoner.

The Sun and the Moon.

The Monster and the Circus Freak.

The Dragon and the Protector.

Lovers, set against all seeking to keep them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The entirety of "Touch of the Sun" started with this scene in mind. I wanted to have this moment. Then I said, "Azula would never refuse the crown unless she had an equal and opposite motivator. In fact, something greater than her fear of her father and loyalty to the Fire Nation." And from there I set off to write this fic. I hope I did it justice. Alternative title for this chapter was "Fire and Blood." This Chapter's OST is "I Did Something Bad" by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	16. Become the Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula realizes her destiny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Become the Woman**

"Zuko, don't worry. We can take Azula."

The teenage boy shakes his head. "It's not her I'm worried about. I'm worried about Aang. What if he doesn't have the guts to take out my father? What if he _loses_?"

The deep concern reverberates across the air between them. There is a real, underlying fear. Katara summons her steely resolve. She believes still. Not because he is the Avatar, but because of the person he is underneath.

"Aang won't lose. He's gonna come back."

She stares out in front of them on the path that Appa flies. She narrows her eyes and adds, "He has to."

After observing her a second, Zuko follows her lead and stares forward as well. Katara sits and reflects on her journey to reaching this point. Not long ago she couldn't even trust the boy beside her. Now she travels with him to face the Fire Lord and put her in her place.

Katara has had so many negative experiences with the Fire Nation. Yet as they fly towards the Capital again, her mind revolves around one in particular. A tiny village and a painted lady. Her argument with Sokka. She reminds herself that defeating Azula is not about revenge.

_'It's about helping people who need us.'_

Azula is dangerous. Left to her own devices, Katara wonders what devastation she could spread upon the world. What damage she could do, perhaps even to the Fire Nation itself.

* * *

Imperial Firebenders work in unison to calm the roaring fire wall that Azula has put up to protect them. Within its cover, the pair of girls stand back to back, ready to make their move. Ty Lee leans forward but speaks to the girls behind her. "Think we can take them all?"

"I'm not sure," Azula smiles. "But I used to know a great hiding place nearby."

Ty Lee nods in acknowledgement. "Alright, so what's the plan?"

Azula watches as gaps in her fire wall begin to form. She replies with a chuckle, "Ty Lee, when have any of our plans ever worked? We show up, things go wrong, and we figure it out from there. Even Ba Sing Se didn't turn out how we thought it would."

Ty Lee sees the walls on her side quickly evaporating as well. She chuckles at the joke nonetheless. "That's true. Okay, so then, how's about this: we take out as many as we can, as quick as we can, then meet by the alley to that old passageway?"

Azula spins her arms and prepares the electricity. Ty Lee bends at the knee. Azula calmly replies, "Sounds perfect."

Ty Lee sprints forward. Several feet off the ground the fire fades. She does a somersault and flips over the flames. As she lands she sees an Imperial Firebender go to swing at her.

_FLOOM_

She rolls under the fire blast and ends up behind him. She pops up on her feet and pivots on her heels to face him.

_Whack! Whack!_

"Ahh! What in the-!"

She chi blocks his arms and they involuntarily fall at his side. Ty Lee's peripheral vision spots an incoming attack. She spins on the balls of her feet and ends up behind the defenseless guard. She grabs hold of his body.

"Hey! What are you?"

_FLOOM_

"Na-ah!"

The fire blast crashes into the human shield she has fashioned. She hears the scuffle of feet from behind her. Ty Lee raises her foot into his back and kicks him forward. The guard's crash into each other. Using her momentum she intentionally falls into a backwards tumble. She lands right in front of the trailing assailant, completely erasing his bending space.

_Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!_

She chi blocks him quickly, then adds a few more shots to knock him out. She again hears feet trampling towards her. She swings her hips around and finds a guard rushing towards her wielding a sword. Just like when she fought Ruki's team before, Ty Lee easily dodges this close combat attack. She slips away as they swing wildly at air.

_Whack!_

_Clutch!_

Ty Lee attacks their hand gripping the blade. She catches it out of the air. She reaches a hand up to grab the man's back and with great force she gives him a push. His forward momentum and her shove sends him skidding to the ground.

"Ahhh!" A guard shouts as he runs up at her, also wielding a sword.

_Clang!_

Ty Lee easily parries his blow. She quickly throws her free hand up and connects with his sword hand, right at the elbow.

_Whack!_

Their sword clatters to the ground and they shout in dismay. Ty Lee turns and sees a Firebender behind her. With great effort she throws the sword in her hand at them.

_Swip_

The attack misses them but they have to stop their bending motion to dodge. Ty Lee grabs hold of the guard next to her by their slacken arm. She turns her body and whips them at the Bender nearby. Their body hurtles through the air until crashing on top of him and they roll away together.

"Hiya!" A voice comes from behind.

Ty Lee spins around to face the incoming challenger. As they lunge forward, she steps back. They miss badly at her. She slides behind them and then attacks.

_Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!_

She hits them in their pressure points and they fall to their knees, completely incapacitated. She stands admiring her handiwork a moment before hearing Azula scream.

"TY LEE!"

* * *

Ty Lee goes flipping away and Azula is left to fight her side alone. The fire begins to clear and Azula sees a brick building behind some of the firebenders. She plots it out.

_Crack_

She shoots her lightning blast through a gap in the fire. The building explodes on impact. Brick and mortar fly off and strike the Royal Procession standing in front of it. Part of the building collapses and thus the crash pulls the eyes of some others. A few unfortunate souls are either crushed by collapse or trapped under the fallen structure.

Azula runs forward and does a jumping, spinning kick. This sends out a series of flame waves at her opponents. Some of the firebenders avoid it.

_FLOOM_

"Ragh!"

Some of them do not.

_FLOOM_

_FLOOM_

Azula sends out punches of fire and they tower above the infrastructure surrounding the plaza. The remaining Imperial Firebenders either run for cover or attempt to block out the incoming blast, but most are not successful. Azula unleashes her full power upon them and fears no man. She feels a rumble beneath her and hears a cracking of the ground. Her mind races ahead and calculates what's happening. She pushes some of her power under her and her feet light a blue flame to fly her off the plaza floor.

Rocks clamp around where she was just standings. She doesn't have a moment to strategize before boulders and flames are flying at her head. She expertly dodges the attacks, countering with her own flames until the opportunity presents itself. She eyes up the remaining Dai Li down below. She spins away from incoming projectiles and alternates left and right fire blasts at the earthbenders.

_FLOOM_

_FLOOM_

_FLOOM_

They can't even scream their pain before being engulfed by the flame. Azula holds her last blast out with her left hand and moves it around to drag the attack along the ground. Many of her assailants are dead or fleeing. Suddenly an imperceptible rock flies at her from her peripheral.

_Clutch_

Azula's fire is blown out. She looks down at her left hand and finds it covered by a Rock Glove. She turns towards the direction it came from and sees another flying up at her. With swiftness she raises her leg up and kicks it away.

_FLOOM_

Azula barely dodges a blast of fire just above her head. She tumbles through the air. She braces her fall to land awkwardly on the ground. She puts her right hand on the ground and kneels down. A scuffle of feet nearby tell her that she's flanked. She raises her head and is met with a shroud of her own black hair. At some point her topknot came out and now it blocks her vision. Still, she looks through the sweaty hair at the three guards that surround her.

"We've got her!'

They step cautiously around her, the semicircle growing wider. The flame of her vast fires cast a light blue hue over the atmosphere. Smoke and the smell of burned meat permeates everywhere. Azula rises up and stands at her full height. Her hair falls behind her shoulders and her breast heaves as she sucks in gulps of air. Her left hand is locked in the rock glove while her right is balled into a fist. She scowls at them and calms her nerves.

She offers to them, "Leave with your lives."

One of the soldiers scoffs at this. "Ha! We're in charge now, Princess."

Azula tilts her head and narrows her eyes. A devilish smile spreads across her face. Her muscles tighten. She asks them genuinely, "Do you feel in charge?"

The three men before her have been serving the Fire Nation before she was even born. They are killers and husbands and fathers. They are in charge. They say nothing in response as they attack in unison.

_FLOOM_

_FLOOM_

_FLOOM_

Three separate jets of flame fly at Azula. She raises her right hand out in front of her and channels all of her power into stopping the fire. The flames' momentum slows and falters. The fire abades and halts. Azula's right hand moves further and further back, riding up towards her shoulder. The inferno gathers in front of her, making her sweat and so close to burning her. Until suddenly, it is gone. The fire is suctioned into a power vacuum within Azula. It disappears before them, but the flames course through her. They threaten to burst out and tear her apart. With great effort, Azula forces her hand forward and a tidal wave of blue flame explodes outward.

_FLOOM_

The men stare into the white of her eyes as she watches the light fade from there's. The men who sought to kill her are erased from this earth, their bodies collapsing without another word. Azula spots an opening and sees her friend flipping around and fighting nearby.

She makes a break for it and yells, "TY LEE!"

The acrobat turns and sees what Azula does. She abandons the fight and sprints to chase after her. Azula backs up quickly, several paces at a time. As soon as Ty Lee gets close enough she lifts a wall of fire up behind her to block out their enemies.

_FLOOM_

Azula leads her friend by a few feet. They make eye contact for a second and both don a smile. Azula spins around and turns a corner.

_Swip!_

Azula falls into a wall as a guard swings a blade at her head. Something off of her goes flying. She crashes into a wall and can't brace her fall due to the rock glove. She falls alongside of it, dragging along her right arm. She hits the ground and looks up. The guard raises the sword over her!

_Whack! Whack!_

The guard drops his sword and falls on his knees. Ty Lee steps over him and reaches down. Azula looks with terrified eyes as Ty Lee pulls her up on her feet. Ty Lee stands her up and notices something about Azula has been damaged, "He got you."

"Where? Am I bleeding?"

"No, he cut the bangs on your right side."

"You're joking?" Azula asks very seriously.

Ty Lee is not. Her disappointment is earnest, "What a shame. You always had such beautiful hair."

Seeing the glove on Azula's hand, Ty Lee concentrates and delivers a precise blow. It cracks just enough for Azula to break it off. The two girls immediately turn away and run down the back alleys, twisting and turning their way towards an old, wood shed door.

* * *

The teenage girls come to a halt in front of the door, huffing for air. There are enemies hot on their trail but they take a second anyway to catch their breath. Azula advances on the lock.

_Click_

_Woosh_

Azula swings it open and turns to the girl. She had not shared this part of the plan yet. Ty Lee walks up to it and stops in the doorway when Azula doesn't move. Concern rising she turns to the black haired beauty. "Come on, Azula, we can't stop now."

Azula swallows a difficult breath, staying on the Royal Palace side of the frame. She replies, "You go. You don't have firebending for this fight."

Ty Lee grips Azula's arms with each hand and takes a strong stance to hold her position. Ty Lee has always been physically stronger than her Princess, but this is the first time she has fully exerted that force over her. Azula tries to move her arms and realizes instantly that they will not budge.

"We can run away," Ty Lee says with a longing in her eyes. "Together.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can! Please, Azula!" She says. A memory of this same secret passageway comes to mind; of that same Azula, scared and in the dark with her. "We're safe as long as we're together."

"You escape. You'll be safer this way. I have to face this on my own." Azula again tries to move her arms but can't. "I'm a monster, Ty Lee. My mother was always right."

Ty Lee gets a deranged look in her eyes. She grips her friend even tighter. "No! She wasn't!"

"This is my destiny, Ty Lee."

"No! It doesn't have to be!" She tries to reason with her. "No one is going to tell us who we are, or what to be. Not anymore."

Ty Lee is resolute. She will not leave without her. She has the physical advantage and nothing will keep them apart. Azula has a deep sense of duty. If she leaves now, she'll just become a fugitive to her Father's country. She can not leave now. She must stand and fight, but she can not unleash her full power if Ty Lee could be caught in the crossfire.

Ty Lee pulls her closer and says, "I love you, Azula."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Azula stares into her grey-brown eyes. She wants to say it back, but she is scared.

Both girls turn their attention when a voice shouts somewhat close by, "They're down this way! I saw them run around that corner!"

Azula turns back to Ty Lee. "Alright, alright. Do you trust me?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

Ty Lee pauses. She reflects on a lifetime of memories.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"I do." She gives the slightest nod of the head.

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

A grateful smile dawns on Azula's lips, "Good."

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

She pulls Ty Lee in and their lips meet in a passionate affair. Their tongues lap over one another and search the other's mouth. The moment is warm and powerful. It gives Azula strength. It gives her positioning. With a merciless shove, she pushes Ty Lee away. The acrobat tumbles backwards and falls on the ground.

_Woosh_

_Click_

Azula shuts the door and locks it. Ty Lee jumps up and slams against the door.

_Bump_

The door doesn't even budge. Azula hears her love crash against it. Ty Lee screams, "Azula!"

The ex-Crown Princess hears the sounds of their pursuers growing nearer. She steps away from the door. She has to leave before she's found here. Before anyone finds this door and hears Ty Lee on the other side. She turns completely away and propels herself into the sky. She comes clearly into view for anyone chasing her and flies back towards the courtyard.

At the door, Ty Lee fulity slams on it and screams, "AZULA!"

* * *

Azula returns to the courtyard and takes to dispatching the very best of the Fire Nation, one by one. The Dai Li are the first to all fall down. The Imperial Firebenders take much longer, but eventually they all fall down as well. All who oppose her meet with the same fate: they lie down. They feel pain for a moment. And then they feel nothing.

The former Crown Princess stands among the rubble and looks around. Her clothes are torn and bloodstained. Her face is a mixture of blood, hers and others, and sweat. Her bangs are completely uneven after that guard gave her a very close cut. She walks through the courtyard and finds no one left. She approaches the steps when she sees it.

A few feet away she sees the sword from her father. It rises out of Lo's dead body like a Fire Nation flag propped up on a field after a battle. She approaches and stands before it; stands above her vicious advisor. With little effort, she pulls the blade out of her and holds it up. Sozin's Comet shines down upon it.

"Ugh."

Azula hears a low grumble nearby. She spins the handle in her hand and steps cautiously towards it. After a few steps she sees a person trapped partially by some rubble. An old woman, whose legs were wedged under a building that Azula had blown with lightning earlier. She examines her and realizes who it is. She stops hesitating and strides up to her.

Li looks up and is met with the view of Azula closing in on her, holding the sword she killed Lo with earlier. She pushes the rocks some more but they do not budge. Just as Azula arrives, Li looks up at.

"Wait!" Li begs. "Please, let me go."

Azula stands over her, twirling the sword in her hands as she considers the request. Azula ponders mercy. She contemplates mortality and death as a concept. This woman is scared for her life, is it really Azula's place to decide who lives and who dies?

_"Prove your worth."_

_"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? KILL THEM!"_

Azula stares down at her. This woman had commanded her to kill Ty Lee, by her own hand. She would not rest until she saw her end goal achieved. Azula raises the sword up and shakes her head.

"You'd just come after her."

Azula buries the sword into her heart. Li feels pain for a moment. Then she feels nothing.

* * *

_Bump Bump Bump_

Ty Lee smacks the wooden door in vain. She is furious with Azula. She is terrified for her. She feels betrayed and she feels loved. Azula had saved her life and now put her own at risk. That stupid, magnificent, infuriating, toxic, incredible, beautiful, lovable girl. She rests against the door, peeking through the slits in it to see if she can see anyone coming. There are no sounds and no sights. She is alone.

Turning around she peers into the darkness. She places a hand on the wall to guide her and steps to the top of the steps. She has never walked through here before and the absence of light concerns her.

_'What was it that Azula said about this when we were kids? Will it take me outside the Palace or outside the Capital?'_

Ty Lee takes the first step down and descends the steps. She ventures into the shadows, careful and deliberate steps guiding her away from the light.

* * *

Azula has taken part in military operations and procedures her entire life. She thought she knew what war was, what it looked like, what it felt like. Wandering through the devastated courtyard, she realizes now that she never knew. Azula had been playing at a game before this. She had played "pretend war" and now she witnesses what "real war" looks like.

The most jarring aspect for Azula is not the sights or sounds, but the smells. It is a most unpleasant mixture of burnt meat and rancid waste, coming off of those who had died by fire and those who died by other means. She can not linger near them because it makes her stomach queasy.

Azula looks all around. Some non-combatants had been trampled to death by the stampede of people trying to escape. There were some buildings still ablaze. Most were burning with a red flame, but she could not lie to herself and ignore the ones that burned with a blue flame. The smoke from all of the fire has billowed in the sky, blocking out most of the scenic skyline, creating an overcast gloom over the courtyard.

She climbs the steps up to the Royal Palace, so she can get elevated and have a better view. However, as she reaches the top she's surprised to find another body. This one does not smell burnt, it does not smoke. It reeks of death all the same. Azula steps closer to it and sees a pool of crimson underneath. She grows wary and steps slowly as she looks down at hair darker than any she'd ever seen.

_'No.'_

She kneels beside the girl and rolls her body over to find Sayaka, riddled with stab wounds. Azula sees red. Her rage flies out of control for a moment. She punches the ground. She does so again and again, her strength cracking the concrete beneath her. The bandages on her right hand scrape and become undone. She rips them off and slams both balled fists into the ground.

"Ahhhh!" She screams, her face scrunched in pain.

After a few moments she calms somewhat. She scans the body and her hands wander over the cuts in the girl. She has an overwhelming feeling that Lo and Li had been behind this. She couldn't prove it, not anymore, but she knows it's true.

Azula knows that this is what they were ready to do to her and Ty Lee. She wonders if Sayaka died screaming. She wonders how many more will have to die screaming now.

_'Only one has to die. No one else.'_

Azula looks down at the bloody blade at her side. A thought blooms that feels only natural. She rips off part of her Fire Lord robes and uses the cloth to wipe the blood from Sayaka's body. When she's done, she uses her robes to wipe the sword. She repositions Sayaka to lie down on her back. She places the sword in her hands. Azula looks down at her oldest servant. She had promised the girl that she could choose what happens next, and then it was ripped from both of them.

She whispers to her, "May you rise from the ashes, Sayaka." Azula stands and pays her respects to the girl another moment.

_'This day extracts a heavy toll. But the hardest choices require the strongest wills.'_

She turns away and looks across the Coronation Plaza. The fire and rubble and smoke and bodies. The devastation she has spread. She has truly become everything they said she would be. A dragon. A monster. A mad woman.

A glint of light reflects off of something nearby and catches her eye. She sees it lying on the floor. The crown. She approaches and picks it up. She lifts it up and holds it out in front of her. She is exhausted but a smile spreads across her face nonetheless.

"Now I'm the Fire Lord." She whispers to herself.

Now she will be the one who decides. She will make the rules. She will be with Ty Lee no matter what it takes. She will go to war with her own father if that's what it takes. She will burn him down and slice him with the same sword he gave her.

Nothing will stop her from being with Ty Lee now.

Azula looks at her hands, holding the crown.

_'The touch of the sun.'_

At that exact moment another reflection of light catches her eye. This one is not stationary. It moves across the sky towards her. She looks up and sees it.

A flying bison floats down.

* * *

Ty Lee has struggled through the dark tunnels for several minutes now. She has banged her feet and shins on imperceptible objects on the ground. Finally, though, she slowly turns a corner and a light emanates from above. She can just barely make out the outline of a set of stairs leading to the light.

She climbs the stone steps and approaches a wooden door. She cautiously steps up to it and gives it a push to see if it's locked. The door moves and she shoves it wide open.

_Woosh_

After stumbling through the dark, the light of the sky hurts her eyes. She wanders out and finds herself standing in another back alley, similar to the one she entered through. She shuts the door behind her and walks away from her exit. She steps for a few moments and tries to get her bearings. She realizes that she is on the outskirts of the Capital.

Turning around she finally sees the Royal Palace in the distance. It rises high above, but not higher than the rising smoke. She wonders if Azula is alive. She reasons that she must be. She is far too strong to lose to any of the Royal Procession. Still though, the fear ebbs and flows. Ty Lee knows that she should retreat, go find somewhere safe to hide until she can have time to return to the Palace and search for her.

 _'But if she's dead, do I even_ want _to live?'_

Ty Lee finds that just the thought of being without Azula is lonely. She mentally debates the benefits and drawbacks of going back to the Palace. She is fighting through it in her mind when something catches her eye.

Descending quickly towards the palace is the cream colored sky bison. Ty Lee panics.

_'No. No, she can't. No. No!'_

Fate has made the decision for her. She springs into action and runs back into the Capital.

* * *

"Sorry, but you're not gonna become Fire Lord today," Zuko shouts at her as he jumps out of the saddle. "I am."

Azula drops the crown to her side and chuckles. She yells back to him at the bottom of the steps, "You're hilarious."

Katara joins him and shouts, "And you're going down."

Katara now looks horrified at the devastation all around them. The courtyard is covered in fire and blood. She nearly vomits at the sight of someone's head just sitting out in the open. Burned bodies are skewed all about. Death and destruction are all that remains.

 _'We're too late._ _She destroyed her own people. People who had needed us, and we weren't there for them.'_

Her eyes sting with hot, furious tears. She wonders if they died screaming. She wonders how many more will have to die screaming.

_'Only one has to die. No one else.'_

Azula looks down at her brother. She does not want to fight him. Her entire life she's waited for this moment. For him to stand up for himself. A different Azula would probably even welcome this challenge of might. She has always been a good fighter, but now all she wants is to go home. For Azula, home would be where she could find Ty Lee. That is her destiny.

_"It is your destiny, Azula, to fall."_

The memory comes to her and grants Azula a moment of clarity. She finally sees it. Her destiny is not Ty Lee. Her destiny is not fulfilled. The recurring nightmare that has dogged her for nearly the last year. It was a prophecy. She was brought to this moment so she could fall.

_'I will be the end of the Fire Nation.'_

She is the girl that must be killed for the Fire Nation to become a woman. She has to fight Zuko. Her destiny is not fulfilled. _His_ destiny is not fulfilled. Another memory from her nightmares comes to Azula. Something said by a woman who looks exactly like her.

 _"But remember: Monsters are only made so they can be_ killed _!"_

Azula is a lamb to slaughter. Kept alive until this moment so that she could die at the right time. All the stories about heroes and monsters all end the same way: the hero kills the monster. Azula is certain she is no hero. But if this is truly his destiny, then he will have to earn it. She will not just hand it to him. She moves forward and steps down towards Zuko.

"Wait. You want to be Fire Lord? Fine. Let's settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Agni Kai!"

"You're on." He shouts back to her.

"What are you doing?" Katara asks. "She's playing you. She knows she can't take us both, so she's trying to separate us."

"I know. But I can take her this time." He replies confidently.

"But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula," Katara replies. Her arms sweep around the space around them. "And besides, look at what she's done _to her own people._ "

Azula walks down the steps. Her hair is a mess and her bangs are sliced at an odd angle. She is exhausted and has no allies. The only thing she has left, the one thing she really clings to is becoming the Fire Lord. Rise above, so that she may protect Ty Lee from her father.

"There's something off about her; I can't explain it but she's slipping. And this way, no one else has to get hurt."

* * *

Azula and Zuko kneel at opposite ends of the Coronation Plaza, facing away from each other. They stand and turn towards one another.

Azula removes the blood stained Fire Lord robes, "I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother."

She says it with emotion. She tries to convey sincerity. But a lifetime of drifting apart has broken the bridge between them. Zuko does not believe her to be genuine. He replies, "No you're not."

Far off away from the Plaza, an acrobatic brunette runs through the streets and alleys of the Capital, fighting through crowds running in the opposite direction.

* * *

Azula falls. She lies down for a moment before jumping up and preparing for his next attack.

"No lightning today?" He chides her. "What's the matter? Afraid I'll redirect it?"

Heaving and exhausted, Azula shouts back, "Oh, I'll show you _lightning!_ "

Azula spins her right hand, calling upon all of the power that she can. It builds in her body and courses through her veins. Zuko prepares to send it back to her. A blow that could kill her, but one that would be of her own doing.

Azula is no fool though. She knows what will happen if she fires it right at him. She reaches her apex and holds the blast for a moment, looking at her brother. She sees the Water Tribe girl standing behind him in the distance. Azula doesn't want to kill Zuko, or the girl, or herself. Too much blood has already been spilled. She creates a new path for herself.

_Crack_

Zuko's eyes look behind him and he sees Katara in the line of fire.

"NO!" He attempts to get between Azula and Katara but the lightning slips past him.

She fires the lightning at an angle and then quickly advances. The blast flies upwards and in between Zuko and Katara. It crashes into the building behind Katara and the ensuing explosion forces Katara to jump forward to avoid the concrete raining down. Zuko stands perfectly still and looks in shock.

_'She missed? But she never misses.'_

"Oh Zuzu," she whispers in his ear.

Zuko turns to face forward and Azula is inches away from him. Her fist is a ball of blue flame and she cocks it backwards.

"Made you look."

From point blank range, Azula punches Zuko square in the chest. The force of the blow sends Zuko hurtling backwards, towards Katara. He lies on the ground and groans in intense pain.

"Zuko!" Katara screams and runs to his side.

_Crack_

Lightning strikes on the ground between them and Katara steps back. Azula laughs and shoots another lightning blast, which Katara dodges. Azula flies up and fires down at the girl below, chasing her away from Zuko. She finally lands on a roof and looks down at Katara.

"If you two can't defeat me, then he's not worthy of being the Fire Lord. But _I_ am!"

She shoots more lightning down but Katara waterbends a wall of protection, which goes up in steam. Watching her run, Azula shoots more fire blasts at her to chase her away.

"Zuzu, you don't look so good."

Katara peers out at him and this is exactly what Azula needs. She spots the girl behind a column. She throws lightning down at her to destroy her cover. Katara finds more cover and after a second waterbends an attack on Azula. When the blast lands though, the Crown Princess is gone. Confused, Katara hears the crackle of fire behind her and sees Azula floating down after her.

She runs out from under the cover, waterbending a path to slide on, while Azula chases. Azula sends out several attacks including a column of blue fire to track her down. Katara ducks under an awning and trips. When she lands she finds something useful. Looking around she quickly devises a plan.

"Don't take this personally," Azula speaks into the nothing. She cautiously steps under the awning, looking for the long haired brunette. She puts a hand around a column and finds her standing and waiting. "Part of the journey is the end."

Azula walks out and stands opposed to Katara. They narrow their eyes at one another. Azula tells her, "And I _am_ the end of the Fire Nation, after all."

_Whip_

Katara tries to wrangle her with some water. Azula rolls away from this. She spins towards the girl. The same blue fire fist that she defeated Zuko with she now throws at Katara, but it never reaches its target. Water appears from nowhere and freezes both of them.

Azula's eyes dart about as they stay in suspended animation. The girl breathes through her nose. The bubbles expand all over her body and she moves freely within the water. Azula watches as she takes a chain around her right hand.

_Clink!_

She moves to chain her left hand.

_Clink!_

After another second, the water falls and both girls breathe heavily for air. Azula struggles against their bindings but the chains wrap around her arms and she falls to her knees. She kneels before Katara.

Katara stands behind her and asks, "You did _all_ of this? To all of these people?"

Azula struggles still and spits back, "You have no idea what it was like. It was them or us. They all _deserved_ to die."

_Clink!_

A new chain rises up and wraps around her neck. It strangles her and prevents her from begging for help. Azula struggles to breathe again.

Katara holds the chain against the back of her neck. She shouts, "She's exactly like Yon Rha, Zuko. There's nothing inside of her. Nothing at all. She killed all of these people, so this is what she deserves."

From the ground nearby Zuko groans and replies, "No, Katara! She's still my sister!"

"Look around, Zuko! Is she really still your sister?"

_Pat! Pat! Pat! Pat!_

"If we kill her, are we any better? Than her, or Yon Rha, or my father?"

Azula gags. She loses oxygen quickly and her vision begins to fade.

"We'd be doing the world a service. The _Fire Nation_ a service," she shouts to him. "Some people are beyond redemption."

_Pat! Pat! Pat! Pat!_

Zuko crawls towards her, "Think about Aang! This isn't what he would want!"

This cuts Katara deep. Azula feels the breath leaving her body. She loses all sight as her body fights for life. No one hears or sees a fourth person arrive.

"STOP!" They shout, coming to a halt a few feet away.

Katara looks up. Zuko rolls slightly to get a better look. Huffing and puffing for air, Ty Lee tries to stand tall before them.

"Let her go!"

Katara and Zuko stare at her with confusion.

"Please! Let her go! She saved me. All of this, everything you see, she did it for me."

She begs them, "Please!"

Ty Lee looks at Azula and she has no aura. Nothing black, nothing red, nothing blue, or orange, or grey, or violet. Just nothing.

Azula can not hear any of it. She can only feel the fire coursing through her come to an end. It beats and tries to skip to life. It smolders and disappears.

The fire in her heart is blown out.

Katara releases the chains around her neck. She steps away and Ty Lee runs towards her. She collapses into a heap on top of the Azula. She cries and tries to rouse her back to life. Katara walks over to Zuko and heals his wound. She contemplates healing her enemy.

Ty Lee weeps into Azula's chest. Her sobs make it hard to discern if she feels Azula breathing or not. She can't tell if her chest is moving or if it's Ty Lee's head shaking against her chest.

Azula feels pain for a moment.

Then she feels nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alternative title for this chapter was "Rise from the Ashes." This Chapter's OST is "A Walk Through Hell" by Say Anything.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	17. Say It Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara asks a question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Say It Back**

Azula opens her eyes. She finds herself in a dark room with no light. She is sitting upright in a rigid chair. She grips the armrests and looks around. The place is familiar to her. It's right on the top of her tongue. Straining her eyes she remembers it now. She has awoken in the Throne Room. She sits upon the throne itself. There is no fire, there are no people.

She stands up and the throne itself vanishes like a puff of smoke. She peers around the room through the limited light but can't see anything else. She walks down the steps, each step more slow and careful than the last. She reaches the landing and steps into a shallow light hovering over the middle of the room. A voice speaks to her from the darkness.

"Look at you. Look at all you've become," a woman's voice says. "I wondered when we would meet again."

A woman strides towards her from out of the shadows. She stands a head taller than Azula. She has dark brown hair, golden eyes, and pale skin.

"It's you!" Azula shouts.

"Hello daughter." Ursa greets her.

"What is this? Where am I? What are you doing here?" She asks the older woman. After a brief pause she adds, "Where's Zuko? The Water Tribe girl? Whe… where's Ty Lee?"

"I'm sorry, Azula, I don't know the answers to your questions." She apologizes.

Azula stares at the vision of her mother. She remembers all of that she's done. All that Azula did since she walked out on her and Zuko. The pain and anguish rise to the surface. She asks her, "Did I make you proud? Killing all of those people? Did I become everything you ever wanted me to be?"

"No, Azula," Ursa tells her. "I never wanted you to get hurt. Ever."

"You made me into a monster! You did that!" Azula spits back. She clutches her heart and lies down as she feels immense pain. " _How_ could you do that to me? I was just a little girl."

Azula sits cross legged on the ground and holds her head in her hands. Ursa turns her attention to her daughter and says, "Well, that is an interesting question now isn't it? How _do_ you make a monster?"

Azula refuses to look up but she listens as her mother goes on. "Well, it starts as any story does. With a little boy or a little girl. They're happy. They have friends. They have people they care about. They have people that they _love_."

Ursa strides away and stares into the void all around them. She continues, "But you don't make a monster by _adding_ things to them, like a troubled childhood, or a negligent mother, or a tyrant father. Those aren't the things that make a monster."

She turns and walks back to Azula. For the first time, her daughter takes her head out of her hands. Ursa tells her, "People can come back from them. They can take those extra things and make something more of themselves."

_'She means Zuko.'_

"No. You make a monster by _taking_ things from them."

Azula looks up at her mother for the first time. "You take away their freedom to fail. You take away their freedom to love whomever they want. You take away their innocence. You strip them of the support, of the love and care of their parents. You banish their sibling, the only person who has known and seen the same horrors as them. The only person that can help them."

Azula stands up. She turns her back away from Ursa. She tries to not go back in her mind, but even as she tries to think of other things she can only reflect on what her mother is saying.

"You take away all of these things and much more, and what are you left with?"

She pauses. Azula turns to face her at last.

"Someone that is hurt. Someone that is scared," she says and closes her eyes. They open again and stare into Azula's. "Someone that is backed into a corner and the only thing they know is _pain_ and the _way_ they feel _pain_."

Ursa grows louder and angrier. All of Azula's fear mongering and twisting the arm of those around her. Everything with Zuko and Mai and even Ty Lee sometimes. It has all led her to this. Wet, hot, angry tears spill out of her.

"They try to bring everyone else down to their level in the same way that they know how to cause pain. They try to take things away from others. Until the only thing they know is how to _take_ _from others_ and _cause pain_ ," she shouts at the top of her lungs. Now she calms. She takes a deep breath. She finishes, " _That_ is how you make a monster."

Azula whimpers like a wounded animal. Everything her mother has said, it all describes exactly what has happened to Azula. All of it is confirmation of everything she has ever feared. Every negative thought she has ever had about herself is validated in this moment.

"But here's the thing, Azula," Ursa interrupts her pity party. "I don't think of you as a monster. You only _think_ I do."

Azula balls her fists and faces her mother. She squares her shoulders and looks at her through misty eyes, "Don't lie to me."

Ursa brings her hands together and stands stoically opposed to her daughter. They are separated by a few feet and a lifetime of pain. She tells her daughter, "I love you, Azula."

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!"

Azula charges across the room and shoves the woman. She moves back a few feet but doesn't lose her balance.

_FLOOM_

Suddenly the room lights on fire with a blue flame. It traces the perimeter instantly, but it remains there. It does not spread or advance into the room.

"It's your fault. It's your fault! IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Azula shouts as loud as she can. " _You_ failed! _You_ are the reason that I'm like this. _You_ did this to me."

Azula cries more tears of anger. The fire in the room grows closer. Ursa shakes her head, "I wish it was that simple, Azula. You are surely the product of the home we made for you. But that does not absolve you or everything."

Ursa takes a step towards her, "We built your home on a faulty foundation, but you still tried to build it with no doors. No way for others to get in. No way for you to get out."

"Ahhh!" Azula groans with anger and sadness. "I couldn't let anyone in. No one that I wanted to. Because of _you_!"

"And at last we arrive at the reason I am here, Azula. You were right. I _did_ fail you."

Azula breathes deeply.

"I thought I was protecting you. I thought I was helping to open your eyes to the world that we lived in."

Azula goes back to that day all the time. She thinks about it often. Sitting in that chair beside this woman as the summer setting sun melted away. Standing in the throne room, she slumps and stares into her mother's golden eyes.

"But I see now that I just drove the wedge between us deeper. I stuck it right into a nerve and severed things between us forever."

Azula has never forgotten that moment. It shaped how she saw her life from that moment until this one. With venom in her voice she tells her mother, "I hate you."

Ursa bows her head. Azula spits out, "Because of you, because of Father, I could never be who I wanted to be. I had to be… something else."

Ursa looks up but doesn't look at Azula. She licks her lips and her eyes search the distant blue flames as if they hold the answer. She urges her daughter, "You are not what I or anyone says you are. It doesn't matter what box we put you in," she says. Her eyes finally turn to Azula and they stare at one another. " _You_ decide who you are. _You_ are who you are, not what others make you out to be."

Azula looks and steps away. She mutters, "I thought I was supposed to be the end of the Fire Nation?"

"Oh, you were, Azula." Her eyes rise up to Ursa. "You just forgot the second half of it."

"Second half?"

"You were the end of the fire nation _as we knew it_ , Azula." She emphasizes. "Zuko, the Avatar, their friends… Ty Lee… they will build a new world. A better one."

The fire grows closer to them.

"Not one made from fire and blood, or ash and soot. One made from love and respect. From understanding and compromise. In this new world, the Fire Nation will move forward and reclaim its honor."

Azula looks lost and scared. She feels great pain. The room grows hotter as the fire grows. She steps towards Ursa, willingly this time.

"But… I did… so many things. Will they even have me back? After everything I did?"

Ursa tilts her head to the side and asks, "Would you welcome yourself back?"

Azula feels broken. She answers, "No. How could I?"

Ursa steps towards her and they are a foot apart now, "By making amends. Learning from it. Growing."

Azula's eyes fill with tears again.

"Your father was right about one thing though. You did kill the girl."

Azula looks directly into the gold of her eyes. She continues, "You have left behind the person you were. Now you must learn to become the woman you were always meant to be."

Azula finally breaks and reaches for her mother. Ursa welcomes her into her arms and Azula cries into her chest. Ursa pets her head and holds her as she has never done. The heat from the flames become hotter. The fire closes in on them.

"You know… in this new Fire Nation, little girls can love whoever they want."

Azula squeezes her tighter. "They can?"

"Yes, Azula," she says, running a hand through her daughter's hair. "Now, say it back."

Azula, looking at the blue flames in the throne room, holding her mother, says back tentatively, "I can love whoever I want?"

A smile spreads across Ursa's lips. She nods her head and repeats, "You can love whoever you want."

Azula smiles and closes her eyes. She squeezes her mother as the fire spreads. They hold one another for a moment. They hold each other for as long as they need.

When Azula opens her eyes again she finds herself no longer in a burning throne room. The air is not hot, she is not shrouded in darkness. She is slumped on the dusty floor of a prison cell. She awakens, perhaps for the first time in her life, disappointed that her mother is not with her.

She repositions herself on the cell floor and drifts back off to sleep, on the search for the same pleasant dreams again.

* * *

Ty Lee stops outside a door. There is a feeling in her stomach that she has not experienced in a long time. A longing. An anticipation. She will not delay any longer.

_Click_

_Woosh_

The door unlocks and opens suddenly. Confusion sweeps across the people inside, as this is not the right time. The guards had just changed shifts not long ago. There shouldn't be a new one for a while now. The light floods the room and blinds the occupants.

The brightness dims and their eyes adjust until all that remains is the vision of the Kyoshi Warrior, with her hands on her hips, her silhouette perfectly framed by the doors opening. Her face finally comes into view and it is adorned with the traditional makeup. She steps into the room.

"Leave us," she commands.

"But-"

"By order of Fire Lord Zuko, you are to leave us."

Hastily the guard stands and skirts out of the room, being sure to avoid bumping the warrior in green. Once he is gone, she shuts the door behind him.

_Woosh_

She stands and approaches the cell. She smiles as she does, "They finally let me come see you again!"

She wastes no time grabbing the keys and unlocking the door.

_Click_

_Woosh_

She enters the cell and sits down on the ground. Azula sits cross legged herself, her hands chained down and smiles at brunette. "Fire Lord Zuko has quite the ring to it."

"It does, and it's official finally. I just left from the coronation. He and Mai and the others were off to celebrate."

"Well, I'm," she struggles momentarily. "Happy for him. I'm _trying_ to be happy for him."

Ty Lee nods and scooches closer to Azula. Azula notes her outfit and says, "You said you were joining that group, but I guess I'm still surprised to see it."

"Yes, it should be good. I'm excited."

"Do you have to dress like that all the time?"

"Mostly, yes. It's part of the ensemble," she replies. She grows self-conscious and asks, "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Oh, nothing. I just," Azula pauses. She tries to deliver a witty comment. "Weren't you afraid of becoming part of a matched set?"

Ty Lee mumbles some frustrated defeat. Azula regrets her attempted joke. She apologizes, "I'm sorry, that was supposed to be funny. I think it will be good for you."

"Yeah. Yeah," Ty Lee tries to convince herself. After a moment she gives up, "I am _really_ excited, but mostly I just want to know if they've decided what's going on with you. I know I'm going to have to go to Kyoshi Island, but Suki said that I will have some time to travel so I can come back here to be with you, but if Zuko decides-"

"Ty Lee, calm down."

The brunette stops herself and listens. Azula leans back. She had not wanted to deliver this news, but at the same time she is grateful that Ty Lee will hear it from herself first. She tells her, "They've decided to transfer me-"

"Oh Agni, oh no," Ty Lee mutters, her hands gripping the place where Azula's hands are locked together.

"- to the South Pole."

"What? The South Pole? What is there? What are you going to do?"

"They are going to 'rehabilitate' me."

"What does that mean? What, did, how-"

"Zuko believes that the water tribe girl, K-"

"Katara, her name is Katara." Ty Lee tries to inform her.

"I know, I was just about to say that," she says. She's not perturbed at all by the interruption. She finds it cute in fact, and appreciated that Ty Lee is willing to try and educate her. "Anyway, _Katara_ will lead my 'rehabilitation,' because Zuko believes she can get 'through to me' in ways that no one else can."

"Well, what, I mean, _I_ can definitely do a better job, I think," she leans in closer and her warmth brings a smile to Azula's face. "But why the _South Pole_?"

"Well, that is where _Katara_ ," she puts extra emphasis on the name to indicate that she knows it. "is from, and they also said because I have to go out and see the world outside of the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom."

"And whose bright idea was that?" Ty Lee asks, still upset about the outcome.

Azula flatly replies, "Mine."

"Yours? But we talked about if you're here, I could, and, we, I-"

At this point they are essentially huddled together in the corner of Azula's cell. Ty Lee is hanging off of her. Azula has her legs and hands locked down so she can't firebend so she is just happy to have the brunette with her.

With a sadness in her eyes and a fragility in her voice, Ty Lee whispers, "Why, Zula?"

Azula stares out into space a moment. She thinks about her answer. She looks into the harbor of those grey-brown eyes. She has never told her this story, but she feels it is finally time.

"My mother told me as a child that little girls can't love other little girls."

Realizing the seriousness of the moment, Ty Lee sits up. She still leans into her, but her eyes now wade into the gold of Azula's.

"I spent my entire life running from who I am. Now I have to go figure that out," she admits. "I have to… become the woman I was always meant to be."

Ty Lee tries to reason with her, "I could come with you. I could-"

"You can't."

"I can."

"I can't let you. I can't let you run from something else," Azula says. Her heart is heavy but her will is resolute. "Not for me. Not again."

Ty Lee continues to negotiate and try to reason with her. She implores her, "Azula, we have spent too much of our lives denying these feelings. Telling ourselves that it's not real, or we don't really feel it."

Azula shakes her head. "Ty Lee."

The brunette lays her head down on Azula's kneecap and stares into her eyes. Azula tells her, "You have done… _so much_ good for me. _We_ have done so much good for each other. I am better because of you."

Azula had once imagined the alternate versions of herself. The ones who had made different decisions. Who had done things differently. She tries to convey this to the girl sitting beside her. "I can't imagine what would have become of me without you. I would truly be lost without you."

Ty Lee is breaking down. The familiar sting of her eyes comes to her. Azula does not waver. She says, "But I need to do this, _alone_. And you need to not run away for once."

Ty Lee cries. Everything that Azula has said makes sense. It hurts but it's true. She sits up again and looks into her eyes. The tears smudge her makeup. She smiles and shakes her head.

Getting this affirmative reaction from her, Azula says, "So I'll go my way-"

"-and I'll go mine." Ty Lee croaks.

"And when I'm ready, when I'm well, I'll come back to you."

Ty Lee nods and assures her, "When you decide it's your time to arrive, I'll be ready. I'll be waiting. Nothing would stop me, Azula."

The way Ty Lee says this causes Azula to flash back. She goes to their walk on the beach at Ember Island.

_"What are you going to do if this guy shows up finally, and you're with someone else?"_

_"_ Nothing _would stop me from giving it a try."_

She chuckles a little at this memory. "You know," she tells Ty Lee. "That sounds like what you said about Ruki's Bird."

Ty Lee giggles at this herself. She shakes her head in astonishment and asks, "You _really_ never got it, did you?"

Azula, a little self-conscious and confused, asks her, "Got what?"

"It was you, Azula. Every time, it was you," Ty Lee tells her. She wears a warm, knowing smile. Azula searches her eyes for truth. She finds safety in them. She finds home.

"From the first to the last. The person I was describing was and will forever be _you._ "

_Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"Ty Lee, can you… unlock my hand block?"

The brunette tilts her head to the side. "Why?"

_Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump Ba-thump_

"I want to hold your hand," she says sincerely and truthfully. Ty Lee nods. As she reaches for the key Azula adds, "I want to hold something perfect and not burn it."

Ty Lee looks back at her at this comment. She doesn't say anything but by the way Azula says it, she knows this is something deep seeded. She can tell that this is meaningful.

_Click_

Ty Lee frees her hands. Azula lifts them up and rubs her raw wrists briefly. Then Azula cautiously moves them towards Ty Lee's. The childhood friends lace their fingers together. Azula holds them tightly and never wants to let go. This is a precious moment that she values greatly.

Tears drop down her face. Ty Lee cries too. Ty Lee slips her right hand out and softly raises it up under Azula's chin. They meet eye to eye. They smile broken smiles at each other. They lean in and kiss.

Azula's fingers grip tighter around Ty Lee's. This kiss is different from the others. It is not a passionate affair of two girls hiding a secret. This is not under the guise of pretending to be something else. It is a kiss of understanding and of acceptance. It sends the shockwaves through both of them, all the same.

They pull away, both sad and smiling through the pain. Ty Lee squeezes her hand. She softly whispers, "I love you, Azula."

Azula stares into her magnificent grey-brown eyes. She felt that she could stay there forever. They reminded her of the expanse of the ocean as they traveled to Ember Island. Like the night sky, shining down upon them as they kissed on the beach. Like the blue flame that raged in her soul.

_"Now. Say it back."_

So much had been demanded of Azula in her life. So much had been taken. So much so that she ended up barren and empty. She had nothing, even when she had everything. Ty Lee didn't demand her to say it back. Ty Lee didn't take things from her. Ty Lee just gave, and gave, and gave. She gave from herself to Azula, every day. She kept giving, even when Azula took more than she deserved.

When Azula was empty, Ty Lee poured herself into Azula, and filled her up. The world took everything from Azula. Ty Lee brought it all back. So many chances to say it. She finally felt free. She finally could say it back.

"I love you too, Ty Lee."

* * *

The girls stay a while in the cell. They talk about the future and what they will do with their lives together some day. They talk about their adventures and their romance and how they fell for each other. They talk for a long time, until it is time for Ty Lee to leave. Apologizing profusely, unnecessarily, Ty Lee locks Azula's chains on her hands again. They kiss goodbye and Ty Lee goes to leave. As she stands though she remembers something.

"Oh my Agni, I almost forgot!"

"What? What did you do?"

"No silly, it's not what I _did,_ it's what I almost forgot to do. I brought you a gift!"

Azula tilts her head oddly as Ty Lee reaches into her pocket. Out from hiding she produces a cream colored object. She places it on the floor beside Azula. The brunette asks her, "Do you remem-"

"Yes. Of course. How could I ever forget?"

They share a smile and Ty Lee feels quite proud of herself. Without saying another word she goes to make her leave while Azula admires the moon flower. Ty Lee stops at the door and looks back at her friend in the cell.

Noticing that she hadn't left yet, Azula looks back at her. Ty Lee is just staring at her. She asks, "What? What is it?"

"Your aura… it's just…"

"What? Am I still red? Or black?"

Ty Lee shakes her head. She smiles and says, "You're aura is _very_ pink."

Azula smiles bashfully. Ty Lee takes her leave. Azula stays in the cell and takes time to reflect. Specifically, she thinks back to the comparison she now shares with the _other_ member of their traveling group.

She understood at last what Mai meant at the Boiling Rock. When Azula held the blade to Ty Lee's neck, the decisions she made after that moment changed her life forever. Ozai had known that her fear of him, and her fear of the Fire Nation's might, ran deep. He had calculated that putting 'the traitor' before her at the coronation would cement her into his ranks forever. A 'true' Fire Lord to stand beside him.

_'Ozai miscalculated.'_

Azula loves Ty Lee more than she feared him.

Azula loves Ty Lee more than she feared the Fire Nation.

She's loved her since they were children, playing in the garden.

She loves her now, sitting in chains waiting to be 'rehabilitated.'

And she will love her forever, whatever that future became.

_Click_

_Woosh_

The prison cell opens. Azula strains her eyes to see. Through the darkness a figure steps into the room. She stands tall and proud, wearing green robes, the long haired brunette enters the room.

She walks up to the prison cell and towers above the former weapon of war. Azula looks into her ocean blues. They say nothing to each other. There is just a thick tension as she leans forward and grips the prison cell bars. Her eyes wander around the room and then back to the pair of golden eyes. Katara finally speaks.

"Shall we begin?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This Chapter OST is "More" by Halsey. Alternative title for this chapter was "Arrive." The story of "Touch of the Sun" is effectively over, but there is an Epilogue to follow. Please stick around to read that as well :)
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


	18. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azula is finally found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue. Love and be loved. Read… and review!

**Epilogue**

Snow sprinkles down lightly from above. The sky is overcast and grey. Temperatures are well below freezing. A bystander may have described it as "picturesque" or "beautiful." To the girl slowly trudging through it, however, it is extremely annoying. It doesn't help that she's been walking for hours after traveling for the last few weeks. It's been quite the journey for the adventurer, and she hopes it's worth it.

That doesn't seem to be the case though as she finally comes to a stop outside a little picket fence. She grumbles to herself as she struggles to pull the piece of paper out of her pocket. She unfolds it and it immediately gets wet with falling snow. She reviews the instructions and walks backwards in her mind to recall that she followed it exactly as described. Everything is exactly right, except for the end destination.

The brown skinned woman stands covered head to toe in winter gear, clothes that were her natural state growing up. She pushes the gated fence in through the snow and takes a step into the property. A tiny home, located in the middle of nowhere Earth Kingdom?

"This can't be it? Barkeep must've gotten it wrong." She mutters to herself.

She contemplates walking away. Turning around and walking the near hour long trek back into town. Talk to the barkeep again, see if they got any of the instructions wrong. Or maybe she can ask someone else in town, see if they know anything more. She turns sideways to leave. Her eyes go back to the door and the little bit of light she can see inside the home.

_'Oh screw it, I came all this way. And besides, Asami will kill me if this was all for nothing.'_

She approaches the front door, each step crunching in the snow. As she walks up she sees a tiny tree on the right side that extends towards the window, completely covered in snow. Her ponytail whips with the wind.

She knocks on the door and waits. A few seconds go by and she hears footsteps on the other side. There's some commotion. She looks intently at the door, waiting for it to open. The white snow lightly dusts it, but she can see it is a faded red.

_Click_

_Woosh_

The door swings open and on the other side is a woman with pitch black hair, dark brown skin, and shining blue eyes. She is much shorter, and much older than herself and she has a long ponytail. She looks at the woman standing before her.

"Hello, how can-uh…," she trails off.

A man enters the frame asking, "Who is it?"

He is taller and slender than the girl standing next to him. His eyes are golden and his hair is light brown. His skin color is a completely different shade than the girl standing beside him, much lighter. His jaw hangs open at the woman at their door.

"Whoa! Holy Agni, you're…"

When neither one says anything, she asks them, "Hi, um, is your Mom around? Do you have a mom? Or maybe a dad? Or is this your house? I'm really sorry to intrude."

The girl replies in a meek voice, "Yeah, our mom is actually here. But you're-"

A voice calls from further inside the house, "Sayaka? Katan? What's going on out there?"

The man, Katan, turns around and yells back, "It's for you, Mom!"

He turns back to the girl standing beside him and whispers to her, "Don't be rude."

"I'm not being rude, you are." She retorts in a half-hearted attempt to whisper.

"Invite her in." He urges her.

"Kids, stop that."

An older woman appears in the frame now. She has light, grey hair, secured together loosely in a topknot. She is shorter than the two holding the door. Her eyes pierce the stranger at the entrance though. They are a magnificent golden color and have not been dimmed by time.

_'Holy crap is this her?'_

She approaches the door and her "kids," who are full blown adults, step aside. She looks up at the cyan eyes waiting for her. She apologizes.

"Sorry about that, can we help you?"

_'Holy crap I think this is her?'_

The woman with the black hair and blue eyes, Sayaka, asks the older woman, "Mom, do you know who this is?"

She turns briefly to her daughter then back to the stranger at the door. She looks again at her daughter and replies, "No, should I?"

 _'Holy crap this_ is _her!'_

Finally she introduces herself, "Hello ma'am, my name is Korra!"

There's a brief pause. The adult children look at their mother who stares up at Korra for a moment. After a second she rolls her eyes.

"Oh Agni on Earth. Listen, whatever it is, we don't want any part of it."

She goes to shut the door in Korra's face. Korra objects quickly and sticks her foot in the crevice of the door to block it, begging her, "Please, wait! Please, I've traveled _so_ far."

The door remains flush against Korra's foot. The older woman leans forward. Her golden eyes look into the cyan ones through the crack. She says nothing so Korra goes on, "And well, I have someone special back home and I really don't want this trip to be for nothing. Being apart from the people you love can be really hard. I don't want it to be a waste. You can understand that, right?"

On the other side of the door Sayaka and Katan stare intently in silence, waiting for an answer.

The older woman reflects on a lifetime of being separated from the people that matter to her. She replies, "Yes, I can."

She opens the door wide. "Come on in, I suppose."

The younger folks immediately disappear into the house as Korra steps inside. Their mother commands them, "Sayaka, put on some tea for our guest."

From nowhere she calls back, "Already on it Mom!"

The boy shouts as well, "I'll get the sweets!"

The older woman leads her into a living room. It's a small room, tightly compact together with chairs and couches. There is an ornate rug covering a hardwood floor. The shelves and walls are covered in picture frames with a mixture of photos and paintings, as well as scrolls with various texts. They have a radio playing some light music and two walls covered in bookshelves, stocked with reading material.

There are four seats at the window facing each other. The mother sits down at one, while Korra sits down at the opposing one. There is a small table between the chairs. Sitting in the middle of the table is a vase with a number of cream colored flowers in it. The light of the snow falling and collecting on the windowsill casts a white-grey hue on the older woman, while the rest of the room is lit by an overhead light, lamps, and candles.

Korra removes her jacket and hangs it up on the back of one chair. She sits down across from the woman but before she can say anything Katan approaches and hands her something in a napkin. She politely replies, "Oh, please, no, this isn't necessary."

He tells her, "Please, these used to be mom's favorite. They're jennamite candy. Just try it!"

Korra pops one in her mouth. She is surprised instantly by how sweet and crunchy the taste is in her mouth. She tells them, "Wow, actually, yeah, this is awesome!"

Katan bows and backs away. The older woman says, "Glad you like them, I can't eat them anymore."

Alone with her at last, Korra can barely contain her enthusiasm. She asks, "So, like, you're _her_ right? You're really her?"

The older woman narrows her eyes and replies, "I don't know, _Avatar_. Who exactly do people say that I am?"

The dark haired beauty, Sayaka, enters and drops off tea for them. She quickly exits as well, but both her and Katan stand just within eyeview and earshot. The older woman raises the tea cup to her mouth.

With reverence and wonder, Korra asks her, "I've searched all over the world for you. You're… _Azula_."

She waits with bated breath for the response. The older woman finishes her sip of tea then puts her cup down. She closes her eyes and smiles. She puts her hands out to her side and shrugs.

"In the flesh."

* * *

Inadvertently, Sayaka and Katan knock something over while trying to eavesdrop. The clatter of fallen objects attracts the attention of both women in the living room. Azula shouts at them, "Hey! This is none of your business, you two!"

The two siblings laugh and disappear into the house. Korra asks sincerely, "So, those are your kids?"

Azula doesn't look back at her, instead keeping her eyes on the hallway to make sure they don't come right back. Absentmindedly she mumbles, "Something like that."

She turns her attention back to Korra with a smile all the same. This moment just makes Korra even more incredulous. She says, "I'm sorry, I just can't really believe it's you. It's _really_ you! I found you."

_"I found you."_

Azula smirks at the memory. "You found me," she replies. Then she asks, "So, did Katara finally break and tell you where I was?"

"Katara? What? No. Wait, Katara knows where you are?"

"She's always known. She's been a lifelong friend since she led my rehabilitation," Azula says, lifting her tea to take another sip. Afterwards she adds, "I'll tell you what, I wouldn't be who I am _or_ where I am today without her help."

Korra settles back into her chair with her own cup of tea. "She didn't tell me? She knew and she didn't tell me? I've traveled the world looking for you, to find you in this middle of nowhere town, and Katara knew the whole time?"

"I see even in her old age she's still a true friend," Azula quips with another smirk. After a brief pause she asks, "Alright, Korra, I don't think you came all this way to just eat some jennamite candy and sip some tea. Why did you 'search the world' for me?"

Korra puts her tea down and sits up, "Sure, of course. Well, a couple of reasons. Um, Lord, I mean I should say your brother, Zuko, he entrusted me with a mission to find you and requests your return to the Capital-"

"Typical."

"And- uh what? Typical?"

"He tries calling me back every few years, this is normal behavior."

"But he made it seem urgent. A matter of life and death."

"Did he say it could be 'the end of the Fire Nation as we know it' if I didn't return?"

"Ye… yes. That's exactly what he said."

Azula smiles and shakes her head. "At this point that's a family joke. Hate to say it, Avatar, but you got pranked by my big brother."

Korra stares dumb founded at the grey haired, golden eyed girl. Azula surpresses a laugh and asks the slackjawed girl, "Alright, c'mon now, what else you got?"

Korra stumbles through her thoughts before asking, "Well, um, he also said that you could teach me to lightning bend."

Now this intrigues Azula. "Oh? The Avatar needs _me_ to help with that? Can't find someone else to teach you?"

She tries to explain, "No one's been able to teach me. My friend Mako, he's always been great at it but he can't teach."

"Hmm."

"I think it's because we used to date and now I can't really take him seriously when he tries to teach me."

Azula quips, "Let me offer you some free advice: men make the worst teachers. All women are superior bending teachers."

"Ha! I have to agree. Which is _why_ I need you to teach me how to lightning bend!" Azula rolls her eyes as Korra rolls on. "Lord Zuko says you're the greatest lightning bender to ever live. Better than any Avatar."

"He's only known _two_ , so not a great judge on the matter. But very well, Avatar, you're point is made," she says with a smile. She pauses a moment before going on. "So, Zuko wants me to come home for some reason or another, and you want me to teach you some lightning bending. What's the benefit for me?"

Korra smiles broadly and sits up a little higher saying, "Well, you get to cement your legacy by helping to teach _the Avatar_ how to lightning bend. Isn't that reward enough?"

"Ha! You think history will remember me for that? Let me tell you a little story. You know who the last person to come visit me was?"

"… Who?"

"The _last_ Avatar."

"What? Aang found you too?"

"He didn't even have to try. He and Ty Lee were lifelong friends, just like me and Katara. Made it impossible to get away from him, even when I tried."

Korra has so many questions, but Azula doesn't give her a chance to ask any of them. She keeps going, "So he came here a few years before his passing and he told me to be mindful of how I will be remembered in this world. Most will never forget the 'Caldera City Killer.' As they say, some people are beyond redemption. Do you want to know who taught me that?"

"Who?"

"Katara. She said that to me right before she nearly killed me herself."

"Katara almost killed you?"

"Honestly, Avatar, what _do_ you know about these people you look up to so much?"

The more they talk, the less certain Korra is about her answer. She replies confidently, "I know they helped save the world."

Not remembering her audience though, Azula replies, "From _me_ and _my father_. That's right. I almost helped commit mass genocide. And I certainly slaughtered dozens of innocent men at the Capital."

"Can I ask… what really happened with that? I mean, the Fire Nation says one thing officially, but people say another. It's kind of like an urban legends, but no one-"

"It was all about Ty Lee. They told me to kill her. If I did, I'd have become the Fire Lord. If I didn't, they would kill both of us. They killed some of my closest friends that day."

These last few words trail off. Her eyes dart to the hallway and through a lifetime of memories with her daughter. She looks back at Korra, "Zuko has tried to tell the truth of it, he even banned that nickname from being used. But trying to bury it just gave it more life. People talk, different sides of the story are whispered. Any time a world leader tries to convince the masses that his sister murdering a bunch of people was actually a good thing? Well, that's a tough sell."

Korra cuts through the fog of confusion and asks her, "I'm sorry, but who is Ty Lee? You said she and Aang were lifelong friends but I've never heard of her before now?"

A cheerful voice comes from the hallway, "I'm Ty Lee!"

A short, sprightly woman enters the room wearing a huge grin. She proudly proclaims, "I'm Azula's wife."

She enters and pushes Azula's chair out and sits down on her lap. Azula wraps her arms around her and squeezes tightly. She's about the same height as Azula, but sitting on her lap puts her above the former royalty. She wears a warm look in her eyes and a single, grey, braided ponytail cascades down her shoulder. Her face is etched with lines, although markedly less than Azula.

Korra can't stop herself. She mumbles, "Wife? But…"

Azula looks her in the eye and raises her eyebrows. Korra feels awkward and like she's going to regret this but she asks, "... you have kids?"

Ty Lee smiles warmly and answers, "We adopted, just like I always wanted."

"I see." Korra says as her mind begins to connect dots. She reflects on previous conversations and loses track of what is being said to her.

Azula pulls her wife in close. She explains, "Yeah, we got ourselves a little water boy and a little earth girl. Well, they were little once, not anymore. Then it was me with the fire. We were just missing air, but then you fixed that for us didn't you? Whole 'harmonic convergence' thing gave Ty Lee her airbending."

Korra looks up and Ty Lee spins some air around in her palm passively, just as a show. She smiles and tries to pay more attention, but she's busy sliding the puzzle pieces together in her mind.

"Now we've got the whole crew in here. Water, Earth, Fire, and Air. They're here visiting us for the festival this weekend. Should've brought their families, _and our grandkids!"_ Azula shouts out towards the hallway. There's some indiscernible response from her children. She turns back to Korra, "But it's a long trip, for only a few days, and besides we don't have much space for them anyway. Plus, if you couldn't tell, we try to keep a low profile."

Azula notices that Korra has stopped paying attention. She cuts into her deep thought by asking, "What is it, Avatar? Aang sending you some belated notes about his favorite 'gender betrayers?'"

Ty Lee gives her a light smack, "Oh Zula, you stop that! It's not like they had a meeting where Aang could tell her anything. This is a lot for her to take in."

Korra appreciates Ty Lee trying to help her. She explains, "It's not that. Zuko said something once though. He said that you and I would have a lot in common, Azula. He said that we were like-"

"Two sides of the same coin?" Azula offers.

"Yes!" Korra exclaims.

Azula sighs for a moment, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. Ty Lee stands up and says, "I'll go put on a cup of tea for myself."

Once they're left alone, Azula asks, "So, you've got 'someone special back home,' yeah? What's _her_ name?"

Korra is very surprised that Azula already knows, but it doesn't show on her face. She sits up and leans forward, gathering her fist into her hand. She tells her, "Asami. We've been together for a couple of years now."

"Welcome to the party," Azula congratulates her. "I said earlier that women make better bending teachers. They also make better partners."

Korra laughs nervously at this but otherwise doesn't say anything. Azula takes this as a note to keep going. "Zuko's already told me about you and I'm too old to wait for you to figure it out on your own so I'll cut to the chase: I was taken by a world leader at a very young age and taught that my entire sense of worth and reason for living was my bending ability. Nothing else mattered except what I could do with my bending and how I could use it to wage war against my enemies. Now tell me, Avatar, does that sound familiar?"

Korra is caught off guard by this. It cuts her deeply how close it is to her own experience. Her childhood wasn't all bad, but she certainly hears what the older woman is saying. She replies, "Kind of, yes."

"Then add in that we're both abrasive when people first meet us, and we both prefer the superior sex in our partners, and I think you can see what old Zuzu was referring to."

"Wow, this is amazing!" Korra says excitedly.

"Here's another one. Tell me, do you ever get tired of it? Everyone knowing your name and recognizing you?"

"Sometimes. I spent about three years hiding in plain sight, so I got a taste of being out of that spotlight."

"Yeah, exactly. I know exactly what you mean. You want to know why we've lived our lives out in the middle of nowhere?"

Korra nods her head.

"No one notices a pair of girls together out here. No one cares. We're not the Caldera City Killer and Lord Zuko's Personal Bodyguard. We're not the former Princess and a Highborn Girl. We're common Earth Kingdom folks. As far as people are concerned, we've lived our entire lives here."

"That's honestly kind of beautiful. I think I'd love that," she replies. More tentatively now she adds, "I don't know how Asami would feel about it though."

"It's not a life for everyone. _Our_ lives are not a life for everyone, Avatar."

Korra narrows her eyes at this.

"I have not lived a life of peace. My youth was turbulent and led to my moniker, deserved or not. It led to some dark years as I tried to become the woman I am today. I can gloss over it now, because I came out the other side and we've had a lifetime of friendship, but my soul searching with Katara wasn't always easy. I'm thankful that her and Zuko were determined to help me, and for Ty Lee staying by my side."

"I see now." Korra feels this last point reverberating in her core. "I think I understand. Those three years, I lost a part of myself and had to go find it. And when I came back, my relationships were different… but they all still accepted me."

"When you find people who will love you at your worst, you have to hold on to them, Korra."

They sit in silence for a moment. They both reflect on the conversation before Azula chuckles to herself. Korra asks her, "Hmm?"

Azula shakes her head and looks out the window. Korra looks out as well. Azula marvels at the falling snow as she says, "Two sides of the same coin."

A moment later Ty Lee returns, carrying a cup of tea. As she walks up to the pair she asks, "So Azula, are we finally going to go home? Maybe Sayaka and Katan can bring their own kids to meet with Uncle Zuko and Aunt Mai and Cousin Izumi?"

"Do I have to?" Azula whines to her wife.

"No, you don't," Ty Lee says as she sets the tea down and pulls out the chair to sit beside them. "But I'd really like to see our old friends again. It's been a few years now."

Azula sighs and leans back into her chair. She turns to the young girl sitting across from her. "What about you, Avatar? What do you think?"

Korra sits up again and leans forward. "Please. I think Zuko is right. I feel like I have a lot more that I can learn from you. Much more than just how to bend lightning."

Ty Lee crosses her legs and raises a cup of tea up. Azula once more looks into the safe harbor of those grey-brown eyes. She turns away and now envelopes in Korra's cyan eyes. She shakes her head as she says, "Oh, alright."

"Yes!" Korra fist pumps.

"That's my girl." Ty Lee coos as she finally takes a sip.

"Agni, even in his next life I see Aang is still joining with you to team up on me," Azula complains. Korra smiles widely. Her trip had been a success far beyond what she had imagined. It was all worth it and she couldn't wait to get home to tell Asami all about it. She gets an idea. She sticks her hand out.

"Let's shake on it!"

Azula looks down at the hand in front of her. Once upon a time, she felt that she had the touch of the sun. Everything she touched would burn up and turn to ash. Staring down at the Avatar's hand she flashes through a lifetime of memories. Everything that Ty Lee, Katara, Zuko, her children, and her grandchildren had taught her.

She had once believed it to be her curse. A lifetime later, she still has the touch of the sun. Now she knows that it grants her the power to create.

"You're on," she says as she grabs the hand and shakes it pridefully.

Ty Lee, holding her cup of tea still, smiles down at them, "Say, Azula, maybe you can even teach her about blue fire."

Ever the creature of curiosity, Korra tilts her head and asks, "Blue fire?"

Azula smiles, releasing the handshake, and shakes her head. "Oh dear, you have so much to learn, Avatar Korra."

Sitting in their tiny living room, a home built with love and care and years of sacrifice and compromise, Azula holds her palm out in front of her. A tiny blue flame dances in the hand of the older woman. She smiles and marvels at it. It lightly crackles and skips about in her right palm. With a mental command, it rages bright. The next moment it fades, almost to nothing. She thinks about how, as it smolders and shrinks, it still burns. Even as it begins to disappear, she still feels it. Coursing through her veins, she still feels it. In her heart, it slowly burns. Waiting to be brought back to life.

— **FIN—**

_Touch of the Sun_

— **FIN—**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First and foremost, I want to share some thank yous. First, to my wife, who continues to put up with my fic writing. She embraced it when we were 16 and she still embraces it when I'm much older now. She has supported me throughout my life and I am eternally thankful.
> 
> Second, to coveredinsun, whose story "I Didn't Have It In Myself To Go With Grace," inspired this fic. Reading her story was such a ride and pushed my imagination to a whole new world. Please go read it on AO3! Ty Lee is an airbender and her whole life is different as a result.
> 
> Next, to all of the atla twt people who took an interest as I live-tweeted this making-of process. I have to believe that my writing of this story was fueled by people asking about it and being interested. Knowing people cared drove me to want to finish it faster.
> 
> To LV, who was my first reader and editor for this fic. You helped make many of the final decisions that made the cut here. Your friendship over the years means so much to me. Knowing you were there supporting and reading this as we went through it, it helped more than I can explain.
> 
> Finally, to you, the readers. I hope this story inspires you to write your own. I hope you find peace in it. I hope it pushes you to draw and write and read more. I will always hold that inspiring others to write their own stories, make their own art, or read more stories is the best thing that I can do as an author. Hopefully I achieved that goal here.
> 
> As for the author's note, well, what is there really to say? I live tweeted my thoughts as I wrote this story, you can find that thread fairly easily on my Twitter. Probably surprising to some that we jumped to the end of Azula & Ty Lee's life (although definitely not if you read my Digimon Tamers fic, Autumn Ends). I've been obsessed with this idea that Korra and a post-redemption arc Azula would be very relatable to each other. I also feel strongly that Katara, being a foil to Azula, would make for a great teacher in her rehabilitation. If Azula ever tried whining about "you don't know what it was like! My mother! My father! My brother!" Katara would just stare at her blankly like, "No, you idiot, I know exactly what it's like." One thing I couldn't find a way to work into the Azula-Korra conversation, but is kind of hiding in plain view: Azula and Ty Lee manage a garden in the back of their house. That's where all the Moon Flowers on the table come from. Also helps with Azula's "touch of the sun" and seeing it as able to create (nurturing flowers) instead of everything burning up. If you go back to Ty Lee's description of her dream home in Chapter 4, she mentions a garden out back. I wanted to work it in somewhere, but it just didn't fit in anywhere naturally so I gave up. Similarly, the tree by the window, covered in snow, would be a lemon tree. In any case, if you have other questions about the story at all, please feel free to post a review, or PM me, or tweet me Gonzo_the_GOAT. I will be happy to chat whenever you find this story! You should definitely go to my Twitter because I got a scene from the Epilogue commissioned into art and I'll be posting that the same day this chapter goes live. Finally, this Chapter's OST is "Peace" by Taylor Swift.
> 
> Love always. Tyzula forever.
> 
> Notorious


End file.
